Gender:
FemaleLocation:
New JerseyOccupation:
Waitress/BartenderAge:
22AIM:
MelissaNJ21Member Since:
August 16, 2004Answers:
46Last Update:
March 7, 2005Visitors:
3556Favorite Columnists
pinklemonadestand
about
I'm 22 and though I'm still young, I'm very mature for my age. I feel that I've been through almost every friend/love/school drama situation possible. I love to give advice to all people and look forward to helping you! *Melissa*My quote of the week: "We cannot change our past...We cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable.
The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude...
I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it!"
advice
Hello again - You really did make me feel that you totally understood and felt where I was coming from. Do you have an e-mail address - or do I just send further comments to this little box that I'm typing in now? I guess what I'm trying to say is: Does everything that I type in here go publicly on the site or not?
Thanks again for your time - but I would love to ask you something in an e-mail or privately - not necessarily for the whole world to be involved in - simply because I can tell that you know exactly what I am going through. I do give thanks for the 7 who responded to my question -w ithout a doubt - much thanks to them - but I felt more of a connection to your comments. Have a great day.
Hi sweetie-I'm new to this web site but I believe that the answers to go to my page. You are more than welcome to email me at MCOSTA130@yahoo.com. I'd love to chat with you. I know what its like to talk to someone that simply just says "Get over it, He's not worth it." You'd rather be talking with someone who understands and can relate and is somewhat compassionate to what you are feeling. Talk to you soon *Melissa*
okay so there is this boy josh and we've liked eachother off and on for about 1 year...and well everytime i do sumthing with him or hook up with him he always plays me over again and again. i don't knoe wut to do cuz i really like him alot too and hes a good kisser and i have fun when im with him. but this last time he played me was bad and i promised to my self that i wouldn't EVER fall for him again but ..... he told my friend shaniqua that he felt really bad for wut he did and he never should have and that he really wants me back... and well i kinda want him back too but i don't wanna get hurt again. so wut do i do??
help me fast
What you need to do is play hard to get sweetie. Find someone else. Or better yet, play him before he gets a chance to play you. Don't give him the time of day! You deserve better. He sounds like a creeeeeeeeeeep! hehe. *Melissa*
What is a good cover up ?? I have mediam skin ... but it is kind of sensitive .. i am using neutagena . it works good btu i was wondering if there is anything better
Hey! Mary Kay has a great line of make up. I use there Full Coverage Foundation and it is super light and covers up a lot. Its about $14 a tube but has lasted me over 6 months and I use it EVERYDAY! Hope I helped *Melissa*
I usually buy my makeup from somewhere like Target, or the drug store or whatever...well...I wanna get some nice expensive makeup that will last and be realllllyyy good...does anyone have some advice on good makeup to get from a deparment store that is not too expensive.
Honestly, I always thought that it was for old people but my mom had a Mary kay demonstration and I went and it was amazing. The make up is so light and they have a line of colors and make up for teenagers and younger adults our age. Mary Kay online is a place where you can find a consultant in your area. Also, AVON has really nice make up. The price of both of these suppliers are relatively cheap and they last a long time! Best of luck...*Melissa*
okay my boyfriend is turning 16 on the 15th of september... i know him very well but i have NO clue what to get him for his birthday!! i was going to get him a present or 2 and then put a bow around myself as another gift (stupid i know but his friend thought it would be a good idea) i've never gone shopping for a guy! does anyone suggestions on what to get him??
I answered a question earlier about a similar subject. Try putting together a basket. You can spend as much or as little money as you want. For example, get him a card, his favorite candy, magazines, cool little gadgets and things that he likes or that remind you of him. Its a very personal and heart felt gift. If you need more help, let me know. I love doing this for people, they really appreciate it! *Melissa*
what is the chance of getting pregnant if a guy ejaculates and then fingers you if its on his finger?! please help me i need advice ASAP!
Ok sweetie. Disregard all of these answers that these people gave you. In highschool I was in the AIDS coalition. We learned all about sexual intercourse, STDs, AIDS and many different sexual aspects of life. As soon as a guy ejaculates and it touches air the sperm is dead. Therefore, if he ejaculated in his hand then fingered you with his fingers still being wet with his ejacualtion, the sperm is DEAD. No worries. Just be careful next time! *Melissa*
This is 4 all the girls out there (but I guess guys could help too)! How do or did u get over ur boyfriend who just broke up w/ u? (Or if u are a boy, how do u get over ur girlfriend?) Well, it's totally draggin me down, but maybe sum ideas will help?
Hi sweetie! Sorry to hear about your broken heart. They suck. Trust me, I know. Hang out with friends and keep yourself occupied. Don't rush into something with someone else. Take your time and let your mind clear. From girl to girl, I know that having your heartbroken is the hardest thing to bear. Don't just sit around and think about. KEEP BUSY! Good luck!
*MeLiSsA*
the guy i am interested in told me that the only way he would consider going out with me is if i have sex with him 1st. i like this guy but i am a virgin i just dont know if it is worth it. what shoul i do? :(
Sweetie Sweetie Sweetie...do you really have to think about it?! Its an obvious answer. He's a pig and he needs to be put in his place. There are plenty of other guys out there that are 100 times better than this guy. Don't even think about sinking to his level. He's not worth your time and definitley not worth your virginity. Stay strong babe! *Melissa*
Hey
I was wondering - do you think eyeliner looks better if you put it directly under your eye or where your eyelash like is?
Eyeliner definitley looks better when you put it where your eyelash is. *Melissa*
Ok..I like this kid jonathan..we went out but like practically just broke up.My friend likes him now and i know it but she wont tell me..she keeps beating around the bush!The thing is she starts to like everyboy i liked,matt,sayon,peter,the list goes on..but now its jonathan..im not letting her do it this time.but i dont know what to do should i stop being friends with her or just tell her to step off jonathan what should i do?!
confront her. simply say, have you ever noticed that you like every guy that i do? explain to her that it kind of hurts your feelings that shes not being a very good friend by stepping on your toes that way. i would ask her to back off in a nice way though. maybe shes a little insecure about herself and finds it to be an easy way to go out with guys instead of taking the time to meet her own. hope i helped sweetie! *melissa*
Has anyone ever gone on a "water-diet"? nothing but water...ice/water...and then u eat something on the third day...?has anyone gone on this or know if it works??
That honestly is the most ridiculous diet I've ever heard of. Actually I dont really believe in diets. I think that you should just eat healthy and work out. You're trying to lose weight not kill or hurt yourself. EAT CHILD! Food is GREAT!
*Melissa*
This might sound a lil weird.. but im 15 and i was wondering when is the best age to start having sex?
The best time to have sex is when you are ready. No age range, no time limit, nothing of that sort. Don't rush either. Do it with someone you honestly care about. Take my advice, it should be with someone you WANT to remember persay. HeHe! *Melissa*
ok..my BF and I have been together for 10 months TODAY! and like in these 10 months hes told me he loved me 2 times...and the first time he told me was on the fone and i go..are u sure...and he was like yeah..and i go oh..and he goes ur not gonna say nothin back? and i go i dont think u know what ur talkin bout..cuz we had only been goin out for 2 months then! and then like when it got to us bein together for 7 months..he told me again..i was sitting by him and we were cuddling..and like he jus looked at me..and said..my name and said i love you..and i juss smiled..and he said it again..both times i never replied..cuz i was scared..im scared to say if i love him or not..how do i know? and how do i know this is the forreal way he feels? Well i want him to tell me it again..cuz i wanna tell him i do too..
First of all, you wont even need to think about if you love him or not. You'll just know. Why does he have to say it first? If you feel it in your heart, tell him you love him. That will mean a lot to him. Don't say anything you don't mean. *Melissa*
ok heres the deal sorry if it's kinda longg..
well my boyfriend one day got into a fight and i was so like depressed nd shit that i cut myself and yeah but then we got the fight resolved, and like we went out for a week after skool ended and then he dumped me cuz he felt guilty for being my boyfriend and not being able to see me..and he went out with this grl nikki from his camp, then after that we got back together and then after like 2 weeks he dumped me again same reason diff. girl her name is lauren (also goes to his camp) then dumped lauren and went for another grl katilin who came to vist from maryland for a week and then dumped her and now were going out... notice the pattern and i think he does love me on some extent but he also has to be with other girls oh and b4 katilin i went to bahamas for a week and didnt have fone service so i didnt get 2 talk to him and my bff told me that while i was gone he hit on her and told her he loved her nd everything and also now wen were going out he still sometimes tells her that even though shes not interested and like he told me that during the yr. he has to dump me and go out with this gurl nicole to help her make her ex boyfriend jealouse cuz he cheated on her but she likes my boyfriend (whos name is charlie by the way)!! ?? help!!!!!!!!! is he just desparate?? lost intrest?? cheating?? does he really love me??? HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! or
haha...hes a jerk. thats what he is. not worth your time. trying to be a "player". let him go. move on. its really his loss sweetie. you need to get over him and realize how much more you deserve than someone like him. what a jerk. hope i helped....*Melissa*
Well, my boyfriend of 10 months just broke up w/ me and I'm kinda wondering wut he means of wut he told me. He said "I think we should see other people," but then he said later how he's not breaking up w/ me bcuz of another girl. Then I asked him why he broke up w/ me abuncha times, and everytime he said he didn't know why. Then he said, "I think I just need sum time alone," so that sounded like maybe there's still hope left. Does any1 know wut he meant when he said all of this? Also, wut should I do? Ando do u think there is any hope 4 us??
Ahhh the classic "I need time line". HaHa...I hate that stuff. Basically he doesn't know what he wants right now and he needs time to figure out his emotions and things in his own life. Sweetie, this may have absolutely nothing to do with you, trust me. If you truly care about him and you want to make things work with him, give him what he needs, time. If things were meant to be then you guys will get back together. Thats all that I can tell you sweetie! Hope I helped *Melissa*
I don't know where to begin with so much going through my mind and my heart except to get directly to the point, which I'm sure you would appreciate. How do you stop loving and caring for someone that means so much to you when you don't even know how the relationship ended to begin with? I guess that's a pretty wide open question huh Doctor? Can you even relate to what I'm talking about because to tell you the truth I am so baffled at this point, things in my everyday life aren't even making sense to me anymore. It's like I'm just going through the motions everyday, but at the end of the day not really remembering too much of anything except the constant, nagging pain in my heart, which is really unbearable. I am an adult female who thought she had a pretty good thing going with an adult male. THOUGHT being the key word here. No, everything was not always perfect, but what is? Nothing major that we couldn't handle. We seemed to make each other happy in all kinds of ways that you may not even be able to imagine. I still do believe that the love was mutual and not just one-sided, but maybe I was wrong. He told me he loved me and I believed him. Shouldn't I have believed him? Isn't that what love should be based on, trust? I actually "felt" the love and caring that he had for me so I know that it wasn't one-sided. I totally trusted this man, with my life, literally. We had constant, daily communication that one day just abruptly came to a halt. And I do mean a screeching halt! Not a halt on my part either, but his. With no explanation in any form he just no longer shared any type of communication with me whatsoever. What's that all about? We had a little communication problem the night before everything ended and I was in a position where I could not make him fully understand what all was taking place, no I was not with another man or anything remotely like that, I was just in a position that made it impossible for me to talk at that moment> Let me stop there because I know that's not making sense to you. However I never got the chance to tell him what the whole deal was. And it doesn't look like I ever will. That was the last night that I ever talked to him. I love this man so much more than I ever thought that I possibly could love someone and I know that we would have been so good together and I know that he knows that too. What's the problem then you might ask? As I stated before, he will not answer any of my calls, he no longer calls me, and I don't really know what to think. I do know that he is a very open minded caring person and this just isn't like the man I fell in love with to not let me know what the problem is, so what do I do? Please don't tell me to just simply ask him what happened because like I said, he will not take my calls or contact me. How can anyone be that cold-hearted? He has totally broke my heart, broke my spirit, and yanked my soul right out! The biggest problem that I have is not understanding what happened! Surely you can understand that? He has to know that doesn't he? You can't possibly be in constant contact with someone throughout the entire day, every single day, and then one day just stop all communications and not expect them to question what the hell happened. Obviously he just doesn't want anything to do with me, that's a no-brainer. But until he tells me so and tells me why, how can I ever have any closure with the relationship, or even have any peace for my ever so confused, battered, busted up heart? I miss him terribly. I guess I got that point across pretty well already. On the flip side of this sad, but true story - Right in sync with him just totally ignoring me, this is unreal, but true, all of these men out of my past and some that have been trying to go out with me or come into my life all called in a one-week period. Sad, but true, I'm just not interested. How can I be even remotely interested anyway when nothing has been resolved with him. I will not be interested in anyone in that same way again because I know in my heart that he is the one for me, I know it, and he knows it too. Or maybe not? How do I find out what went wrong when it's impossible to ask anyone a question when they simply won't talk to you? Now how cold is that? Doesn't everyone deserve that much? I know they do, and yes, I know people don't always get an explanation even though there always is one. I don't know how to make you understand that he is just not that "typical" person that just leaves people's hearts hanging without an explanation, or maybe I just have him figured all wrong. Am I a total fool? If so then I'm a fool in love. If that is the case and I am to never get an answer, how do I go on? I can't keep walking around everyday crying, in a freaking daze, with real pains in the pit of my stomach as well as my heart. All of the people who know me know that I smile all the time and am for the most part a happy person always trying to bring a smile to others. But since that day, they all ask me where my smile is, where's that sparkle in my eyes, where's my spunk, where's my love for life? I'm not going to get it back until I know what happened. What do I do? How does one stop loving when they don't even know what went wrong? How do you ever get your mind, heart, and soul "together" again? How do you ever trust again? How do you stop the very real pain? I am a grown woman and this was not a little crush. I took it very seriously as he told me he did too. I did things for him that I had never done for anyone else to try and please him, which ultimately pleased me in doing so. As you can tell my thoughts are all over the place. And like I said I don't see how I can "pull myself together" without answers. This is really, really rough and I don't think he gets that or he would talk with me, right? What to do? How to cope? When does the pain stop? Why did this happen? Why can't I get any answers? How to trust again? When I commit to something or to someone, I really try to give it my all, which is why I get hurt so easily. That, I can answer.
Signed; Desperately Seeking An Answer
It's like you and I are in an extremely similar situation. It's so weird. I read your problem and I'm like, wow sounds like I wrote this. I wish I could give you great advice and help you get over this whole situation and work past the problems, but unfortunately I can't. I don't know the answers myself. I know the unbearable feeling, the empty stomach. Trust me, I know. The only thing that I've found to do is to watch tv or movies, do crossword puzzles, stupid little things that keep my interest. I go out whenever I have the chance to try and remember that I made it before him and I'll make it after him. If you know where he works, send him flowers and on the card simply write...thinking of you, dont know where we went wrong, if this is what you want, tell me, i just need closure. Closure is the key to ending all relationships. Without that it makes it almost impossible to get over someone. I desperately feel for you sweetie and I wish I had more to say to you to help out your situation. But like I say, I'm going through the same thing.Find something to occupy your time to make that smile, that smirk, the love for life of yours come back even if just a little bit. From the sounds of it we are pretty similar and we're goooooood people. Maybe he just needs a little time to sort out his feelings. If things were as good as you say they were, he's gonna call. He would be stupid to let something that great walk out of his life. Best of luck with everything. Let me know how everything turns out! Muahhhhh....keep your head up! Nice women like us are hard to find.
ok me and my best friend got in a huge fight for nothing now all we're doing is bi***ing after each other and well I don't know I want to stay friends but from the looks it's not going to well I don't what I should say to make it stop got ne suggestions??
lots of love cutie_babee
Cutie_Babee,
Obviously there is a reason that you 2 got in a "huge" fight and not in a little argument or bicker. You need to go back to the beginning of the fight and see why you guys started fighting in the first place and try to see where things went wrong. She's your best friend for a reason. Right? So it should be worth it to you to make your friendship work no matter what. Good luck with everything *Melissa*
What are some ways of getting rid of just a lil fat and like getting toned? Like just dieting tips and workouts n such. My problem areas are my thighs (inner mostly) and stomach. Thanks
First off try and cut out the extra junk food that you are eating. I know, being a woman, that sometimes we just eat out of boredom. (NOT A GOOD THING!) Hold back from eating just because you are bored or because you're sad. Those are 2 things that help a lot! Another thing that Ive found useful to staying fit is to do crunches. Do about 100-200 a day. You can break it up and do some in the morning and then some before you go to bed at night. As far as your thighs are concerned try walking, running or even picking a stair, putting your feet half way on and using it to go up and down with your feet (like your walking). You should feel this working your thighs and calves. Just make sure that you keep up with these things. Becoming fit doesnt happen overnight and you wont be like that forever unless you keep up with it! *Melissa*
i really like this guy but he is 2 years younger than me. my friends think its not right and i get really hurt. should i be wrong to like him or should i ignore my friends? im very short so im just a tiny tiny bit taller than him. hes the sweetest guy in the world though. please help me thank you i rate :)
Age is just a number. Height doesn't matter. If you really like this guy and you want to give it chance, I say go for it! Why not? Whats the worst that could happen? Things doesn't work out? Then you can move on! You're young, have fun! *Melissa*
ok well i went out with this guy for like a year, but the down part were went out off and on, like we broke up 10 times...stupid i no....but like every time i talk to him, i start to like him again, but i dont want to go back out....i dunno what to do...HELP!
If you don't want to go out with im again that the easiest thing to do is not talk to him. If you say that you start liking him everytime you guys talk, then maybe thats the best thing for you (not talking at all). My philosophy is that ex's are ex's for a reason and that there is a reason that you guys arent together anymore and that it didnt work in the first place. the obvious answer here is to leave the situation go and not talk to him! *Melissa*