Hi, My real name is Daniel. Im an expert on youth affairs (issues) and you can ask me questions on:
Love and Relationships
Sexuality
Dating
Puberty
And anything else to do with youth/teenagers
Drop me a line!
I give advice from my point of view.
So go ahead ask me a question.
Ill give you my best advice.
See you soon.
jumadel
Gender: Male
Location: U.K, England, Greater Manchester
Occupation: Expert in Youth Issues
Age: 15
AIM: Give people expert advice for FREE!
Member Since: June 6, 2006
Answers: 432
Last Update: July 23, 2006
Visitors: 21726
Main Categories:
Love Life
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Ok this is mostly for guys to answer...unless girls have good ideas.
Well...my boyfreind(17) is always doing cute things like showing up with my favorite movie, flowers, whatever, doing all these cute romantic things and i always feel bad becuase i never what to do to surprise him.
I not really made of money...so please keep in mind it cant be something to expensive.
Thanks!!! (link)
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Hi there, He sounds like a very thoughtful young man. Do you get stars in the night sky regularly?
A walk to the park on a starry night does'nt cost anything. Then maybe woo him by telling him how much you love. You could express it in a poem, in a speech or just by giving him a kiss. If you live on your own, then you could cook him a meal for the 2 of you. Or you can just spend time in your room, watching a funny video like for example... Austin Powers or Ali G. Remember love does'nt cost anything. Daniel.
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Ever since we met, my boyfriend always had this thing about grabbing my upper arm to pull me closer to him when he wants to talk to me or something.
Sometimes it's like he isn't aware of his own strength or something because it'll hurt. And I always tell him not to do it because of that. He apologizes and tells me that he doesn't realize he does it that hard and says he'll try to stop.
Well, of course, he doesn't stop. He just did it last night and that time it left marks on my arms. I didn't even notice until my mom said something about it this morning and I had to sit that and explain to her why the guy I'm seeing left marks on my arm! NOT EASY.
I haven't showed him the marks yet but what should I say to him when I do? I mean, I know what to say but how do I make it clear to him that he NEEDS to STOP?
And by the way, he is in NO WAY abusive, if he came off that way. I'm 18/f -- He's 21/m
(link)
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Hi, this guy sounds to me as though he is nice, but has no awareness on how others feel. If he keeps on doing it even when you've said no then really your better off without him . You need to tell him firmly. Sometimes in life we have to be aggressive to let people know how we really feel. Not punching or hitting of course. If you raise your voice a bit each time he does it then you might just be O.K. Other wise if he can't stop doing it then your only left with 2 options really.
a) Finish with him for a while or permantly
b) He needs to go and see someone
Remember this, you have the say in who touches you in what way. Daniel.
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Hey, sorry if this is in the wrong category, but I wasn't sure what to put it in.
Well, to start things off, I'm very self conscious. I think I am fat & ugly & just not a cool person.
Last night, I was at the pool & I was wearing a bikini. There were two of my guy friends there & one of my girl friends. I started feeling really self-conscious & I sat on the step of the pool [still in the water] hugging my knees. My two guy friends asked my friend what was wrong with me, so she came over & talked to me. They found out that I thought that I was fat & started rambling on about how I wasn't fat & how if I was any skinnier that I'd be anorexic...etc. It helped a bit but I still feel so self-conscious.
Now, for the guys on this site, do ya'll think really confident girls are attractive? or the more humble quiet ones?
& How do i get to feeling better about myself? I hate being the party pooper when it comes to swimming & such. Anyone got any good advice?
I rate high for thought-out answers. (link)
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Hi there, we all think negative of ourselves sometimes, heres some negative stuff:
"Im so fat, no one likes me"
"Im just so ugly, life is'nt meant to be"
Things like that get to us. Although being fat or ugly might actually be true. Try and twist your thoughts around. Look at these thoughts below and see how I twist them around in the end.
"Im so ugly!, but Im not as ugly as some others"
"I feel so down, so Im going to find a hobbie to do in life"
"Im ugly!, but my personality is beautiful"
Do you see what Ive done to these sentences. Ive twisted it in the end. So which are more attractive? Quiet or Confident? I think they can both be attractive but the most probabal one would be the confident one. Because she opens her self up to everyone and is'nt scared of inviting her self into a conversation, which shows that shes interesting to talk to. Only you can feel good about yourself. Just read them sentences above a few times. You might be fat and ugly, but you are a very nice person. You are terrific, you deserve everything. You are cool. And no one can take that away from you.
Hope that helps. Daniel.
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I have a best friend whom I've known since the 7th grade, and one of the things we promised each other in our ring of friends is that "Friends come first always before boyfriends." However, I feel that this best friend of mine is not keeping this promise. Besides being close friends with me, she also had this really close guy-friend since the 7th grade, who has now become her boyfriend. I know that I should understand that its okay for her to be closer to him because they were close before, and are now in a relationship together, but I feel hurt that its against what we promised... Like, she would always, always stress it to to us that friends are always first, but this now seems hypocritical... We rarely talk on the phone anymore, or talk at all because she's always spending time with her boyfriend... What can I do to repair this friendship, or to understand???
Thank you very much. (16/f - Junior) (link)
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Hi there, human being's can be strange creature's sometime's. When we hit puberty our interest into the other sex is alot greater than ever before. For example when people are children we play mainly with younger boys/girls our age, and find mixing with the opposite sex, disgusting or a funny matter. As we hit puberty all that seems to change. What my point is, is simply that your friend has now hit that puberty time and will probaly start to drift more to the opposite sex than there own. Boyfriends seem to be the only thing in their world that matters. Just tell her how it made you feel. Remember though, that she's growing up and so are you. But you can always be best friends. That is very valuable to have. Daniel.
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Hey!
ok u seem to kno a lot about "love lifes" but ok im just gonna make it short and easy.. i want to have sex w/ my boyfriend.. what can i do to make him make the first moves.. or should i? (link)
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Hi, how keen is your boyfriend on having sex with you? If he want's to have sex with you, then it's O.K providing that you are both old enough and have talked about contreception. Maybe if you want to make the first move then you need to ask yourself:
a) Is this the time to be doing this?
b) Is this the place to be doing this?
c) His he giving you body language (letting you know that he's ready to take this step?)
If thats O.K then maybe slowly talk to him. Flirt with him slowly, and then move your head forward very slowly (still talking)and when your a few centremeters in front of him, give him a smooch on the lips for 10 seconds. If he moves his head away, hes telling you that theres something wrong. And I suggest you leave it and say something like "or sorry-was I going to quickly, whats wrong". Anyway lets get back to the kissing. If he start to kiss you then maybe slowly put your arms around him and kiss his kneck. Stand up and take his hand and lead him to the bedroom. Once your in the room with him, push him on the bed (slowly) and undress him. Then have sex about 25 secs later.
Remember these thing when doing these steps:
1. Timeing
2. Slowly
3. Body language and communication
This is only what I think. Just see how things go and don't get your hopes up to high. You might get dissapointed if you do.
Let me know how it works out. Get back to me if you like. Daniel.
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I'm 17 & been with my boyfriend who's 18 for awhile now and we have an amazing connection. Our relationship is healthy, fun, and still growing. I'm a virgin, he's not. He's not exactly pressuring me, but when we're both in the mood he'll want to go further. I feel like I lead him on too. How do I tell him it will happen but for now, I'm not ready and pressuring me doesn't help. (link)
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Hi, just tell him that your just not ready yet to have sex. Have you both thought about contreception? Sex without contreception can be risky because you can get things like Genital Warts or the herps virus. Remember to tell him that "if it's not on then it's not on" if you get the meaning. You don't want to have sex, then thats fine. Remember that it's your body and you decide who does what with it. Daniel.
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What could me and my boyfriend do that would make our relationship more interesting? I'm not talking about tips for sex (considering we're only 14) but I mean just things/places to go that would turn him on or make living in a small town with no where to go more interesting. thanks. (link)
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Hi, theres loads of places you 2 can go. Here's some suggestions:
1. Beach
2. Park
3. Cinemas
4. Lunch (like McDonald's)
5. Ten Pin Bowling
6. Picnic
just being together doing what ever, should turn him on. Hope that helps. Daniel.
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sorry its a lil long....
Im 16/f and my friend is 15/m...we live quite a few citys apart...we've been freinds since 1999...the both of us do a great deal of flirting with one another...
A few years ago i realized that i was in love with my friend.But beacaus i did'nt want to ruin the freindship i tried to ignor these fealings. This year i decided that i could'nt bear it any more and i was ready to tell him the way i feel.
Then the night i had planed to tell him, he started asking me about my friend (lets call her 17/f.) I then knew that i had to tell him right then and there or i could really miss out, so i did. His reaction was a lil stuned, but he said something on the lines of him knowing.
The thing is i talked to him and he said that he had once liked me but the feeling had just left, or something like that. But the fact that not one of us spoke about us liking each other until i spoke that day...and i feel so stupid...not for bringin it up but not saying sooner...
PROBLEM:
He seams to realy like my freind 17/f... and i want hi to be happy... its just i love him! and ive told him more ever since i had that one time yet all he says is im sorry...
Yet ever since i told him our conversations have been more intence with the whole imotional side and i think its made our freindship stronger. I can tell him almost anything and vise versa...
The whole thing has accturaly realy bumed me out though... i find myself crying every time i have a good regular convo with him or here someone say his name... and i get quite jelous of my freinds 17/f... i dont wanna be... i like her its just i find meslef getting all mad for nothing...
My question is were do i go from here? I love this guy so much...yet the feeling dos'nt seem to return...I cant possibly give up... what do i do about 17/f? she like 15/m too, but she only met him last month not even... i think i realyy messed up...
any advice will be greatfully apreciated even oppinions!
Thankz a bunch! (link)
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Hi, one of the lets say "buggers" of life is when someone likes somebody else but then you find that another person likes that somebody too. You've done the first part which is tell him how you feel about him. Thats great. The second part would be to ask him to go out with you, on a date. If that works out then you can build on your relationship with him. Try to be friends still to your 17/f but just be a little more for yourself. Remember this:
1. You have the right to date who ever you want.
2. You have a life, so date only if you feel comfortable.
3. Be yourself, thats all you can be.
However, no matter how much you try to build this relationship with this guy, at the end of the day it's HIS CHOICE who he goes out with. 17/f or YOU. Ask him out if you feel comfortable, what have you got to loose. You can still be friends. Just do what your heart tells you to do. Go girl! Daniel.
Let me know how you get on.
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I'm a 16/f and my best friend is gay.
Okay, well, his family is very religious and grounded in "southern" beliefs, and if he comes out to his parents he is afraid he will be kicked out of his house.
He is going to tell his mom first, and THEN his dad, and hasn't told either of them yet. However, he is pretty sure that both of them already know, because of how he acts and things he likes and the fact that most of his friends are girls, and yeah.
He is adament about coming out to them, because he doesn't want to hide who he is, and I don't blame him. Do you think that he, at just 16, should WAIT to come out to them? I dont know what swort of advice I can give him. What should I be doing to help the situation? (link)
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Hi there, this is quite a tricky situation. He has a right to decide what sex he is e.g Bi, Gay or straight. Just tell him that it is'nt anything to worry about. There's quite alot of gay people, more than what there used to be. His parents being "religious" people will probaly not like the fact that he is gay, however they have to realise that its 100% his decision wether or not he wants to be gay. There seems to be quite alot of gay people these days. Famous people such as George Michael and Elton John are gay, and there's nowt to be ashamed of. It's his decision wether or not he tells his parents. There is'nt an awful lot you can do about this one. This is between him and his parents. Just try and be a friend and tell him that he is more than welcome to talk to you about this one. O.K.
If he does open up to his parents, then tell him that it took alot of courage and if his mother or father kick him out, then maybe he could stay at your house, until he:
a) Finds a place to live
b) Lets the dust settle between him and his parents.
B is a better option. Feel free to contact me when ever you like. Thanks. Daniel.
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16/F, You know that typical story of if the most popular guy likes a girl who is considered a geek/loser that everyone likes to pick on and his friends don't approve by saying that you're reputation will be ruined etc. Then his friends would give them both a hard time in school. I'm in that type of situation and I'm wondering why does this happen? (link)
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Hi, teenagers like to consider themselves cool. They bring out words such as geek. A geek is someone who has a high interest or intelligense in something, and usually wears glasses to them. We are all interested in something, so it goes to show that were all geeks in some way! To them, the hot guys get the hot girls and the geeks get the geeks or no one. This is'nt true but does happen through teen life. Maybe that guy is going out with you because:
a) You two have an interest
b) He likes you for who you are, and not what you've got.
c) He finds you interesting
Teenagers usually grow out of it when they are in there 30's lets say. Some are that silly, that they might never get it out of their head.
Just ignore what they say. Maybe their jelouse because he's going out with a nice girl like yourself. Let them stay in their geeky world.
Daniel.
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Okay .. I shave "down there", and I have done so for the past three years. I know how to do it so that I won't irritate my skin and I'm more comfortable with it shaved.
I try to keep it cleanly shaved but it grows back fast and then shaving it is difficult - the hair is very short and blunt, and it's painful to try to shave. I was wondering if anyone had any tips for keeping that area smooth as much as possible. I hate waiting for it all to grow out and then shave it because it's very uncomfortable.
Thank you very much. (link)
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Hi there, your better off leaving it to be honest. If it's bothering you that much then go and see your local Docter about it. He might give you a special cream to help you. Hope that helps. Daniel.
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whats wrong with me its like i always have a boner and everything i do to try to get rid of it doesnt work it wont go away
please help rate high (link)
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Hi, there is'nt much you can do about it. As you get older you will have more control over your erections and wont happen as much as they do now. It can be annoying, I know. The only advice I can give you is to hide it the best you can. Here are some tips:
1. If your sitting down, then cross your legs.
2. If your standing up, then try and sit down quickly as you can.
You don't have to explain if you don't want to.
Hope that helps. Embarressing I know. Daniel.
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my friend ALWAYS copies me. like if i put something on my profile she puts that up too if i put something on my myspace she does that too. if i buya pair of shorts, she will buy them too. i know people say copying is a way of flattery but sometimes its just annoying. i like to be my own person. should i say something to her? if i should, what should i say? (link)
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Hi, just tell her how it makes you feel. If she does'nt listen then really there is'nt alot you can do. It'll will probaly go away in time, but if you show her that its getting to you, she'll probaly keep doing it. Remember no one can be just like you. Daniel.
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I had my wisdom teeth pulled Tuesday and its Saturday now, and i'm still kind of swollen and the inside of my mouth is VERY swollen. how long will it take for this to go away permanently?? (link)
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Hi, just give it another week and try not to eat things that are sugary. If it does'nt help then contact your local dentist. Hope that helps. Daniel.
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is talking to yourself healthy or is it a sign of a mental illness? Because i talk to myself a lot. is it healthy (link)
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Hi, this is a tricky one, because it is quite normal but other people might look at it as weird. We all say little things to ourselves sometimes. Examples:
"Why did I do that"
"God she/he looks nice"
"Im bloody fed up with this"
and so on. Its got nothing to do with Mental or any other illness. However if you constantly keep talking and answering yourself then there could be a problem. Its not so much to do with health, but maybe its to do with your feelings, or you might feel lonely sometimes. It is quite normal, but of course not in public like a bus shelter or classroom. Anywhere away from people is O.K. Hope I helped. Daniel.
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I'm 15/f. I have selective mutism. So it's an anxiety disorder. I've had it since I was little.
And I haven't talked in school for like 9 years. I tried talking this year but the whole "heart beating, my voice cracking, my voice sounding different" didn't help. For some reason I feel like that but half of the time.. I really want to say something but I can't because then I remember "I dont talk to these people". I get weird reactions from people. "OMG, YOU TALKED!" and they scream and stuff...
So do you think there's some sort of medication for me? I really want to start talking. But my anxiety is holding me back. I have the whole summer to deal with this. Because I feel like I'm wasting my life away and I'm having no fun.. and I really want a job too... Help? (link)
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Hi, there is one medication that springs to mind. It's called "Fluoxitine" and it helps deal with Anxiety. It also helps with depression and people with Aspergers Syndrome and Autism sometimes take it and it helps them. Im not sure if they sell it in your country, but give it a try. Ask your local Docter for some advice too. Hope that helps. Daniel.
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any ideas how i could overcome my shyness? i've researched and looked at /many/ websites... and it's not very helpful to me.
it's really pathetic. i say i'll do something. i promise to kiss or hug or just do something..
but i end up not doing it. i freeze up and worry if i'll do it wrong. and by the time i've stopped thinking that... it'd be too late.
it's making me feel worse and i keep telling myself that if i dont do anything... my girlfriend will break up with me and i'm sure she will. that somewhat motivates me to try. (link)
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Hi, just tell her that your a wee bit shy. The whole point in having a relationship is to be honest. Hope that helps. Daniel.
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Im 17 and i have had my Period 6 Years. This is the Second time i have missed my Period the first time was when i first started. I usually start around the 21 and last month i didnt. And it hasnt started yet. Im not sexually active any more. So i havent had sex in a good 9 months. Should i just wait. And see if i ever start? (link)
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Hi, if your concerned about your peried then I suggest you go to your local Family Planning clinic. They will be able to give you advice on perieds or any other topics around puberty and sex you might be concerned about. Check them out, if not then go and see your Docter. Your Mother would be good to talk to about these issues. Daniel.
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my boyfriend of 4 months confuses me. we've been together for only 4 months, and im normally the slow mover but with him .. i dont know im ready to try stuff that i've never done before, hes the first guy ive 'wanted'. he said he wanted me when we were talking last night, but whenever its the 2 of us hangin out, he never makes any moves .. and i lack the confidence to be the pursuer .. even if hes my boyfriend ..
does anyone have any tips on self confidence? is he just saying that he wants me because he thinks thats what i want to hear? is that why he doesn't make any moves .. boys opinions would be welcome .. and extrmeley helpful as well ... (link)
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Hi, it sounds to me as though he wants you to know that he likes you, but feels uncertain deep down. Some boys seem to want to impress girls, and put that much energy into doing that, that they eventually get nervouse when it comes down to the one on one thing. This does'nt nessacerally mean that he's a coward but more shy and nervouse. Maybe you could open this subject with him. Proper relationships involve being open and honest with each other. Ask him. He might just tell you whats up. Daniel.
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im 14/f and my friend is hooking me up with this guy and we've been talking online but no matter how much i try to get off the subject hes always like what will you let me do to you the 1st time we meet will you let me finger you n all that shit
and im like really uncomfertable because i never kiss a guy before and i feel like different
should i meet this guy or is he just using me for head
please help
ill rate 5 no matter what (link)
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Hi there, the answer is no. No you should not meet this guy because:
a) He does'nt sound like a very nice man if he's talking about sex the first time he meets you! Especially if he has'nt even met you in person!
b) Theres always the risk that he might be a bad person and might do something to you e.g Drug you, rape you, beat you. (Online could be dangerous!)
c) Not if he does'nt meet your standards as a friend or boyfriend. Especially if you feel uncomfortable.
My strongest advice would to not meet him, and keep safe when online.
You don't know who could be on the other side of the computer?
Daniel.
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