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Bf grabs my arm
Ever since we met, my boyfriend always had this thing about grabbing my upper arm to pull me closer to him when he wants to talk to me or something.
Sometimes it's like he isn't aware of his own strength or something because it'll hurt. And I always tell him not to do it because of that. He apologizes and tells me that he doesn't realize he does it that hard and says he'll try to stop.
Well, of course, he doesn't stop. He just did it last night and that time it left marks on my arms. I didn't even notice until my mom said something about it this morning and I had to sit that and explain to her why the guy I'm seeing left marks on my arm! NOT EASY.
I haven't showed him the marks yet but what should I say to him when I do? I mean, I know what to say but how do I make it clear to him that he NEEDS to STOP?
And by the way, he is in NO WAY abusive, if he came off that way. I'm 18/f -- He's 21/m
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I would push his hand aways and remind him to stop because it hurts and not only that but it leaves marks and you dont like it. I had a friends like that and that is what I did. It takes a while to stop a habbit. It usually takes me a few weeks to stop the habbit so I put on a rubber band and everytime I do it I snap the rubber band and then I stop. You could try a rubber band to if you wanted and if we is willing...
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Slap his hand away. That's the best that I can think of. He's hurting you, and he's being aggressive and he's not noticing. When he grabs your arm, pull it away. And tell him that if he continues, then it's over. If he hits you back really hard, then he can be in trouble.
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um ask him if he could be more gentle because when he grabs you it really hurts. and also show him the marks cause it mite help him realize wut he does. or you could also tell him instead of grabbing your upper arm to grab your hand. hope i helped! ♥ terri
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Just tell him that when he grabs you arm it REALYY hurts and he left marks. Tell him your mom noticed and he NEEDS to stop. If he does it again, grab his arm hard too. just make sure he knows that it needs to stop right away,
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Hi, this guy sounds to me as though he is nice, but has no awareness on how others feel. If he keeps on doing it even when you've said no then really your better off without him . You need to tell him firmly. Sometimes in life we have to be aggressive to let people know how we really feel. Not punching or hitting of course. If you raise your voice a bit each time he does it then you might just be O.K. Other wise if he can't stop doing it then your only left with 2 options really.
a) Finish with him for a while or permantly
b) He needs to go and see someone
Remember this, you have the say in who touches you in what way. Daniel.
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well like you said, he's not meaning to hurt you on purpose. i think that you should show him what he did. then you should try a tactict (i think thats the word.) everytime he grabs your arm, you pinch his cheek, or something like that. then reward him when he resists temptation! haha hope it helped.
&hearts
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I know you said he is in no way abusive but, I just have a quick question. When he grabs your arm, is he mad or is he trying to make a point about something and your ignoring him or something like that? In either way, It probably is just the simple fact that it's just a habit to him, like smokin ciggarettes. It's his way of getting your attention. I'm sure that if you show him the bruises on your arm and he see's that, he'll stop. Alot of times, guys just don't realize how strong they are. I have a big bruise on my arm lol me and my husband were play fighting (I was winnin' btw lol) anyways I didn't even notice it till the next mornin' and he was like im sooo sorry and i was like shut up i didnt even feel nothin, we were playin! yea so I understand where your comin from...just tell him, Baby, your alot stronger than you realize so take it easy, I'm a princess, I bruise easily.....play it off so that your not making him feel like he's a wife beater, ya know. Good Luck
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If you've asked him to stop and he hasn't AND it left marks - it IS abuse, whether intentional or not. Someone who genuinely cares about you would have heard your request to stop the first time. No one does this to get someone's attention... would you grab your friend's arm like that? Or even let it become habit? And do you see him do this with anyone else?
You should show him the marks and say it IS inappropriate to get anyone's attention in that manner and it is clearly hurting you physically and mentally because you asked him to stop. If that doesn't get his attention, you should move on.
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He's probably doing this unconsciously, and it's hard to break a habit (especially when you're not even aware of it!!).
Maybe while you're talking to him, gently grab his arm or hand, or if he DOES put his hand on your arm, gently take it off, or say something like, "hey, don't do that, okay?" (in a polite, loving way, of course)
It may also help to show him the marks, it may help make him more aware of what he's doing to you.
hope I helped!
♥ Laura Michelle
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