I am an advice hound. I love to give advice, get advice, read advice columns. I love telling people what to do ; D
Truly, I have a love for people and an honest desire to see every individual excel and succeed in their personal lives, to shed themselves of as many burdens as possible and enjoy this strange and terrible and wonderful gift that is LIFE
Location: Los Angeles
Occupation: advice guru and life coach
Member Since: June 9, 2009
Answers: 900
Last Update: February 5, 2012
Visitors: 32932
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i heard that you can only get pregnant once a month so i thought it would be safe for me and my boyfriend to have unprotected sex . we had sex twice yesterday and today and he came into me each time . i think i was ovalating because white discharge juss appered out of no where that day . and it was slippery than it usuly is . could i have been ovalating and not even kno it .? and can i look forward to having a child . and my period hasnt came on this month but its susposed to come on at the end of the month . (link)
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Wow... I'm stunned. You actually think you can only get pregnant once a month? The fact that you think that tells me you are SOOOO not ready to be having sex. Back off this or have the sense to get a condom. You are MORE LIKELY to get pregnant about halfway to your next period (so about at the 2 week mark), that's when you ovulate. But you can still get pregnant whenever! That discharge was most likely left over semen, not ovulation. But if you're not pregnant already you WILL be if you continue having unprotected sex, no matter WHAT time of the month it is. What you're doing is crazy, unless you are deliberately trying to have a baby. Take a pregnancy test, then tell your bf you won't be doing it without condoms from now on. Or take your chances and become a mother in the next year.
Unbelieveable.
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I need help. I don't get my period on a certain day every month, but I usually get it between the 10th and 15th. But if I have sex, during this time can I set backy period? (link)
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Yeah, sometimes that can happen. You're adding raging hormones on top of other raging hormones. Sometimes it can throw your cycle off for a bit.
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so there's this guy and i really like him....but he dosent date because he said he wants his opptions open...?? but then he gave me a hug and wispered to me to meet tommorow after school.... he was talking bout giving me a good bye kiss since we have two weeks off....but since he dosent date do u think it's because he does this to alot of girls? and he said that yesturday to but ditched out last minute today....im confused (link)
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Doesn't sound confusing to me at all. He wants to date lots of different girls. He wants to put you in the "lots of different girls" category. Seems pretty clear to me, he was pretty up front.
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I don''t know what else to do with myself. Nothing works! Here's my story...
Im the hopeless romantic. Ever since I was 13 I wanted to have the relationship of dreams. I know I deserve it. I am such a happy person. All my friends always tell me I am so beautiful inside and out. I've even advocated happiness to others and have had people tell me I've changed their lives. I'm very good at giving advice and have frequented advicenators helping people. I love making people happy. I always believed that happiness is the purpose of life and nobody has reason to not be happy! Yet I have been miserable for so long...i feel like i've lost myself because of what has happened to me...hes taken all I had.
I met this 25 year old two years ago (at 17) and have fallen in love with him over the course of the relationship. I knew it was a bad idea at start, and I honestly cannot tell you why I went into it, but I did. We have gone trough so so much! I have helped him with his past (really fucked up) relationship issues, family issues, everything. I was the young, happy, polite, passionate person and he was the cynical, hard, angry and bitter, because he was very hurt person. Hes hurt me so much before, he had almost even cheated on me, said I was his cousin to other girls, taken me for granted, made me think all our fights were my fault, said I needed to grow up, made me cry everyday, said he doesn't give a fuck, called me naive, a pushover, basically made me doubt everything about myself. It was almost abusive, and I don't know why I stayed. Probably because I knew he loved me, and I loved him, and I wanted to hold on to love so badly. Its almost sick that I stayed so long. And when i finally left him 5 months ago, he changed. He became good, he started worshiping me and I took him back for the last time, which turned out to be the last time he would ever mess up. Hes actually been different. Perfect, amazing person. Its unbelievable. But I feel like the damage was done. I was/am still so hurt by what happened before, I feel like a different person. Even my friends tell me I'm different.
And then there's the arguments we have now. We cannot be together, I've realized. We both want different things, I am 19, he is 27, I am in college, he thinks I'm too independent. We just are not good for each other but kept staying together because we loved each other. And I finally became the strong one and said that we shouldn't be together. What followed was the most painful thing I've ever experienced. Him standing in the doorway pleading with me to stop him, he didn't want to leave my house and me forever. He kept looking back to see if I would follow him. My heart broke in a million pieces because I knew I couldn't do that. I couldn't let it go on when we've tried so hard for the past 5 months to work things out and we just keep getting hurt. But I really don't know how to handle this fucking pain! Its unbearable. I know that it will pass, I know that I will be okay. I know I deserve better, hell hes even told me he knows I do. He's thanked me for being his "angel". It just really fucking hurts. I need some honest to god advice or points of view or something to do to help me. I tried my friends, parents, none helped because they all think it was about time. I am alone in my room crying and thinking of him over and over. How can one still love someone that;s caused them so much pain??? I know I did the right thing, but oh god it feels so so so bad. Can someone tell me anything else besides that it will heal with time? How does one heal from such a terrible experience with love? (link)
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No. I know it sounds maddening! But people keep telling you that because its the truth. It WILL hurt less, every day. But you have to go through this part to get to the end. That's just the journey of life. You are sad over the loss of such an important relationship. You are mourning that loss. Allow yourself to mourn, but not forever. Don't think of it as a failure, but a valuable lesson in life and love that you will carry forward with you into the future, and use to make yourself a better friend, lover and companion to the next lucky guy that gets to have you in his life. And I promise, you'll be grateful for the time you had with your ex, once things calm down. You'll realize that, even though it didn't work out, it was a special time and experience that helped you mature. And that is a gift. It WILL get better. Surround yourself with good friends and good family to help you through this time, and try to enjoy the many blessings you have in this holiday season.
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Well I'm a 18 year old girl, and for awhile now I've noticed that everytime I see a pregnant woman I get very fascinated with her figure. I'm not really sure what my sexuality is, I can get turned by men and women...even trannies. Just the thought of getting close to someone as a very good friend and then falling in love, I guess is a bit of a turn on too. During my freshman year I was experiencing health issues, that 'caused me to go to night school along with other students such as, pregnant teens. I was so amazed and wanted to rub their bellys at all time...lmao
I became good friends with this one girl who was pregnant, it started off awkwardly since I was so very turned on by her overall physical look. Huge potbelly, and she was very thin and tall...like a lamp....with a basketball glued to it. LOL"
I've always been blunt about things, so naturally I told her she looked beautiful pregnant and I'd pay massive amounts of money just to bathe her and her belly...Yeah, I'm a bit of a creep. But she laughed and said she wasn't a lesbian. Hah, still didn't stop me from telling her how she turned me on, and how I'd um...yeah. Anyways, the year went by and we got very close, she said oddly enough she never saw herself with another woman, she admitted to have fallen for me at some point. I was so amazed...and happy, lmfao (;
We dated for a year, but then she moved :( and since we were both only 15, we couldn't do much about it. These past years, people keep telling me I act like a guy. And women keep falling for me, which is weird...and men keep saying my boyish ways turn them on...I'm not sure what my question is. I sortah lost it...nice, but yeah. What might be the reason for this? Someone told me maybe I had a higher testosterone level than most woman...I'm very girly looking, not butch or lesbian looking at all, haha. I'm always attracted to older looking men, and younger looking girls, not like 12 year olds though. Sheesh, I like a full set of breast, lol.
Anyway, I guess my question is basically.
1. Why am I so attracted to a pregnant woman's body?
and
2.Am I just a freak? (link)
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You're not a freak. But I don't believe that some people are just "kinky"... every fetish and fantasy serves to fill a need in a person's life. Sexuality issues aside, I feel like part of your attraction to the pregnant form may have something to do with the image of motherhood, and some needs (unmet or otherwise) that are invoked in you when you see that. All that stuff gets tangled up in our hormones and sexuality and that's when it becomes a sexual issue, even though its not necessarily how it starts out. That being said, I'm not sure I have an answer about what to do about it, or even if anything NEEDS to be done. But I do know it is something you should explore more (like through talking to a confidant or therapist). When you get to the roots of it you'll be able to at least feel clear about where you stand and who you are and what you like and why.
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my friend kimma is going through alot of problems right now. First of all she likes girls and she is 31 years old and iam 21 years old I know age difference. I go to a mental health center every day and i met her sister margie there and then I started going to margies to spencd the night and her sister kimma and I became really close and her sister moved out a few months ago and promised to help pay the bills and now she's says she's not doing it anymore and kimma has a 9 year old little girl to take care of with no income at all and it hard to find a job during the christmas holidays and plus she's having to worry about how she is going to take care of her little girl and her sister is going around calling everybody at the center telling them what is going on between her and her sister plus she is telling them bullshit about kimma smoking pot in front of her little girl when I know margie was the one smoking it and not kimma what should I do to help them? (link)
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As harsh as this sounds, this is not your problem. Kimma is 31... when you get to that age you're going to realize that a lot of life experience goes into getting to there, and that we are all responsible for the choices we make, and the consequences of those choices. Kimma has most certainly made some choices to get her in the position she is in, even if its not totally fair. And so has Margie. The fact that you know so much about it tells me they have both sucked you into this drama. I'm willing to bet Kimma has had a lot of people move in and out of her life who tried to help her and left in frustration as they watched her do the same things over and over. At some point she'll have to make some hard choices for herself. You are not the only help out there. It sounds to me like you have your own issues to deal with. Don't let others distract you. Yes, you care for her and don't want to see anyone uncomfortable at Christmas, but you are not obligated to fix her problems. So keep your "helping" simple, to a minimum. Please don't give any of these people money. I think you will regret that and injecting money into a friendship is a quick way to ruin it. But you CAN help by doing things like researching a list of shelters, soup kitchens, food pantrys and other services Kimma can go to get the help she may need through the holidays, if she decides she needs it. And, if anyone approaches you about their situation, you can help by being truthful about what you know. You can be there to listen. That's a huge help. You could help Kimma find a job and maybe offer to babysit when she goes on interviews. But I can tell already that you are the type of person who hates to see anyone else in the sort of pain you've felt in the past, and you get sucked into a lot of drama trying to help others avoid that pain. I bet you find yourself getting used a lot. People mistake your caring for weakness. Figure out what your boundaries are with these friends, and stick to them. You can help around the edges of the problem, but those problems are still theirs and its not up to you to solve them. Don't use that as a distraction for what's going on in your own life.
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I just got married six weeks ago. I am 29, my husband is 8 years older than me. Anyway, I am feeling very overwhelmed. I never have any alone time, I just moved into his apartment as well. I should feel happy but I feel so overwhelmed.... (link)
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Oh honey... this is TOTALLY normal, I promise you! People always say that 1st year is the honeymoon stage, but NO. The first year is the hardest. You must understand, you are going from being a single person to a part of a unit. That takes an adjustment. You are learning how to live a whole new life. You are going to spend a lot of this next year or two figuring out how to remain an individual while still being a family unit with your new husband. It will take some trial and errors, ups and downs, but you'll adjust. The best thing I can suggest is to tell your husband how you feel. He's your partner now. He needs to know it all. Perhaps just talking about it will take a lot of the sting out of it. Don't feel that just because you live together now means you have to spend all of your time together. Yes, adjustments need to be made. Gone are the days when you can just take off for somewhere without clearing it with someone else first, but you can still make ways for your own time. So talk with hubby, see what he has to say. He might say something to put your mind at ease. And do your best to make your apartment your home. That may be part of the problem, you feel like you aren't in YOUR space. Is it workable to find a new apartment? Something you can both call your own? If not, start doing things to make your current place feel more like YOUR home as well. Don't be shy. You're married now. What's his is yours, vice versa. This is your home now, so you need to start thinking of it as such. And don't be afraid to start finding interests outside of home as well. Meet with friends, take classes etc. But mainly, I think you need to find a way to start feeling at home in your new place. As you do that, you'll relax more and find ways to create your own space within your living environment, just like you did before you were married. FYI - last week I celebrated 12 years of marriage, so I know what I'm talking about! You're NOT crazy, you're just figuring out what we ALL had to figure out in the beginning - how to share your life with another person. Good luck. Don't be too hard on yourself and enjoy the ride!
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Okay, so here's the thing. I have a good friend and we've toyed with the idea of hooking up and after a year, we finally did. Now he would usually be online on IM and after a few days, I noticed he hasn't been going online so I decided to see if he was just in invisible mode. It kept saying he was online, but he appears offline to me. So I figured, he must be avoiding me. I don't understand why he's acting this way when we both made it clear to each other that we don't want to get into a relationship and it won't turn to anything serious. He's a good friend because we talk about anything under the sun, even random nonsensical things and I kind of miss that and I really would like us to still be friends. It's been 3 weeks now. (link)
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Reason #567 why you don't hook up with friends. Sex is for lovers, not friends. Maybe you thought it was clear, but he was just saying what he thought you wanted to hear. And now he feels hurt that it was just casual. Or maybe he just feels weird about it and doesn't know what to say. Or maybe he regrets it. You won't know unless you ask him, just be prepared for an answer you may not want to hear.
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My boyfriend has commitment problems, since most of his life he was single. He is having trouble coping with working, school, and a relationship. He thinks he's not "made for relationships."
He still loves me and everything, but what can I do to help him cope with his lifestyle? What can I do to not make him think this way? (link)
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Sounds to me like he's trying to tell you that he doesn't want to be a boyfriend, your boyfriend. He's just too cowardly to say the words, so he'll beat around the bush and put out all these signals and say confusing things like "I'm not made for relationships" and he'll hope that eventually you'll just break up with him, so he doesn't have to be the one to feel bad. Sorry, but what a jerk! Just walk. It'll hurt, but not as much as it'll hurt later when he does something bad, like cheats on you (then his oh so handy excuse will be 'I told you I wasn't made for relationships? 'see how that works?). You can't make him do anything. You can only decide what you are willing to make yourself do.
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I've had a struggle with my sister my entire life. She has done the typical sister things to me and some non-typical.
In a phone conversation yesterday we hashed out a few things and at the end I told her I don't want to see her again.
We talked about how she hit me when we were young. (Oh, she's 9 years older than me so it's a 10 year old hitting a 1 year old) and she admits to hitting me
BUT
"I did hit you but not to hurt you" - her
"you did hurt me, you were so much bigger than me" - me
"oh you are remembering it hurting more than it actually did" - her
More examples of how she treated me:
She said she hates fat people and I'm fat.
She said I should have her babies because my body is already ruined by being fat and her body isn't
She walked around my parent's house and put her name on the bottom of the things she wants when they pass away.
I have caught her taking photographs, cookbooks and wine glasses from both me and my parents when she comes. Her response is that the photographs are part of her heritage and she was going to bring them back. The cookbook she does not remember and the wine glasses were hers to begin with. - they are not, they have been in my parents china cabinet for years.
She also has a temper - has had it all her life. Walking on eggshells around her wondering when she will go off has caused me a life of anxiety and depression.
I decided to put up some boundaries with her this time she visits for Christmas. Each boundary I told her about she fought against. She is not allowed to hold my 5 year old and sob when she's leaving. I told her to say goodbye and do her crying away from my daughter, because it affects her.
The response I got was "Why, who told you that what I was doing was bad?"
me- "her behavior afterwards tells me it affects her"
her - "how do you know that my actions are causing her behavior"
What I got from trying to set one boundary was backlash. I thought it was one of the more simple boundaries.
Another boundary I tried to set was that my husband will join her, I and my daughters when we go out. (she does not like my husband because he does not allow her to walk all over him, I let her do whatever she wants because since I was small my parents told me to do whatever she wants and she won't hurt you)
Big backlast there. My husband is on vacation and she's on vacation and I'm not leaving him home to watch TV. He wants to do things with his children too. Her answer was a flat no, he can't come with us.
I'm getting to my question.
My daughters 7 and 5 only know her as the great aunt who brings presents and plays with them when she's here.
How do I tell them that they are not going to see her anymore without being the bad mom?
Eventually they will find out that I'm the one who stopped the relationship. I don't want my girls to hate me. But I can't go on dealing with a sister that treats me terribly.
Should I put up with my sister no matter what, for my children's happiness? (link)
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Its sad that you are willing to let your poor relationship with your sister affect your children. You don't say that she treats THEM poorly. Is she a good aunt? Does she love them? All family is important. Her role as an aunt is not as important as your role as a mother, but its still important. Just because she was horrible to you doesn't mean she can't add something good to the lives of your girls. Was she wrong to treat you badly? Of course! But family dynamics are complicated, and things happen and people get hurt. What never changes is the fact that these people are, indeed, family. I urge you to put aside your personal feelings about your sister and view her from your daughters' point of view. They have no idea of your history with her. They don't know her as selfish or mean. They love her. So you forcing them to never see her again only makes YOU look bad... and they are only 5 and 7, so trying to explain adult matters to them is grossly inappropriate. It sounds to me like the real problem here is you and the fact that you act as a doormat to your sister. I suspect that your age difference has made it hard for you to stand up to her in the past. But you are both adults now and you have to learn to respect yourself. You have to model that for your daughters. Simply kicking her out of your life forever isn't the adult solution. But you seem to be on the right track with setting boundaries. So you and your husband need to sit down with her together, as a united front, and explain your boundaries, your rules. If you don't want her causing drama when she leaves, make it clear you won't be standing for it and lay out a plan for what will happen when it does (if you encourage the drama we will allow one hug and kiss and then we will close the door in your face if you don't just leave like a proper grown up, or whatever you decide). If she has a problem with hubby coming along on trips out, let HER be the one to stay home. Its not her choice, its yours. Yes, she will throw fits and get pissed and maybe say some awful things at first, but I am willing to bet that, if you remain consistent, over time she'll get the hint and adjust. Its time for all of you to grow up. You may be younger, but its clear you are the more mature one, so start acting like it. Take control. Your parents may have always told you to go along to get along while you were growing up, but now you have your own home, and husband and family, so you don't have to be afraid of her anymore. You don't need to cut her out, but you do need to limit and structure the time you do have with her, until she can learn that you have changed and her childishness will no longer be tolerated. Good luck.
Remember - you can't change other people, you can only change how you REACT to other people.
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My husband joined citysex.com (link)
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You have a problem, then. How did you find out? Does he know you know? If not,you need to talk to him ASAP. You need to understand why he would do that. If he brushes it off and says its nothing, don't believe him. Make plans to seek therapy or counseling immediately. If he won't go with you, go alone. Your marriage is in trouble.
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Okay so I have had two incidents were I wanted God to make me be sure he was there. Once when I was about 9 and once just now. The first time I asked God, I asked if He would make the phone ring at a certain time. It rang a few seconds after the clock changed. Then I asked for me to get a text mesage or a call at 7:07 and I was still praying at 7:07 then I stoped praying and it was 7:08 and as soon as it turned to 7:08 I got a text. I thought it may have been a cowincidence so I Asked at 7:19 for me to get a sigh. This time my phone rang at 7:20 and I am wondering if God is doing this like tring to make me do something or think something. Please help an give opinions on what you think It is? Do you agree It is in fact God?. (link)
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Well, you got His attention! Now what are you going do?
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I've heard the world was going to come to an end on 2012, 2011, and on a thursday in 2011, is that truee at all? (link)
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No. Mark 24:36
"No one knows about that day or hour, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father.
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Okay, I'm 17/f and last night I had a dream. Im not too sure what the meaning behind it is, but it started out with my mom, my nana, and me. we was standing outside, and a bunch of little gnats came and swarm around a certain particular place in my dream, and where ever they would land, that area would set on fire. A bunch of poeple died in the fires, but for some reason- none of the people i was around did. My boyfriend was in the dream, along with a close friend of mine, and an ex of mine. Its like we all stuck together. We ended up in a room with a bunch of people, and I remember asking my mom if she noticed that majority of the people in the room with us were chrisitians. I remember in my dream I was talking to a man who was a really big christian, and I told him I was scared that I wasn't going to Heaven because of certain reasons. I told him I believe in god 100% and I pray to him sometimes, and I talk to him too, but different people have different beliefs on what you need to be accepted into Heaven.
*A couple of weeks ago, my bestfriend Erica told me her mom saw on the news that God was going to come to Earth to take all the Christians on a Thursday*
I remember in my dream, I followed Chris (the ex) in the bathroom, and I told him what Erica told me, and I told him "Look at my phone, today is Thursday!" and he said wow, your right, and look at the date its "11.11.11"
But, I guess what IM trying to say, is why am I having these dreams?
Am I going to hell? I mean, some people say as long as you believe in the lord, you'll get accepted into his home, but some say if you have never been baptised than you will be rejected.
I've never be baptised, I have been saved though. I smoke ciggarettes, Ive had sex before marriage, but Im not a complete slut, I curse. I use to steal. But when I use to feel really bad, I use to pray to god to tell him to forgive me for my sinss. But idk? (link)
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The issue of baptism is different in different churches. I'm not a pastor, but I do believe that baptism is important. If you feel strongly about it, make arrangements to be baptized. But you must know this - that the only requirement for making it to heaven is belief that God sent his son, Jesus Christ, to die for you and accept all the punishment for your sins that you (all of us) should be punished for. That's all! Salvation is free. You can't earn it. If you've sinned, you have the luxury of asking for God's forgiveness, knowing that its already been given to you freely and gladly. But that's not an excuse to sin whenever you want to. God asks us to repent. That means making a choice to not commit the sin again. Look, salvation is the easiest part! Its free, if you've accepted the Jesus is lord, its yours! You don't have to do anything else. You will be welcomed into heaven when your time comes. But as Christians, God calls us to do more than just be saved. He wants us to come close to him, spend time with him, learn his ways, because those ways will actually make our lives HAPPIER. Open your Bible and read his words for yourself, so that you can feel secure in your own salvation, and you can know what he wants to tell you personally. don't get hung up on the "bad" things you've done, and simply start looking to God more often. You are saved! Now go and learn to be closer to him so you can get your answers straight from the source. And also, Matthew 24:36 says " 36 “But about that day or hour no one knows, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father." Your friend's mother is wrong and beware of ANYONE who ever claims to know when the Lord will return. No one can know, the Lord said so his very own self! Be at peace. I feel God is trying to poke you a bit. He is calling you to a closer, more curious relationship with Him. He wants to know you!
Some verses for you to look at:
Mark 16:16
Acts 2:21
Acts 16:31
Romans 10:13
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I'm 21 and dating a guy who 28 and is very rich. Him and I are just getting back together again. And he wants me to move in with him into his penthouse downtown. His penthouse is 12 mins. away from my parents house, and I think its way to soon to be moving in with him because we just got back in a relationship with each other in November.What should I do? Should go ahead a move in.Or should I stay at my parents for a little while longer till we develop some time under our belt. need help!!! (link)
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"Should I move in with my boyfriend?"
No.
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I'm a teen girl and got into anime while at summer camp. I attempted drawing anime and my friends all thought they were really "good." My mom found them and was like, "You drew this?" She disapproved incredibly and doesn't want me to draw anime anymore because she says I won't be able to draw non-anime things well anymore. Both of my parents have master's degrees in art and my dad is neutral. I'm really embarrassed that my drawings were found for some reason; I guess they were kind of private.
Should I listen to my parents and stop drawing anime? I really love drawing it and I even have manga ideas.
Thank you! (link)
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Your parents are older, from a different generation. They don't understand anime, or know that it is an extremely lucrative and valuable art form, and many respected and educated people make a good living from doing anime. Keep drawing! There's nothing wrong with it.
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Alright, where to start. First, I have a babygirl. She's 18 months. And a fiance. I don't have a job, and neither does he. I'm going through high school still, I'm 17, and I'm waiting to graduate. I was planning to move to Washington with my fiances mother, since that's where we're happy. But my parents are trying to talk me out of it. Saying I won't be able to survive if I move out. The thing is, I'm not going to be able to get a job in Washington until I do move out. So what, I'm supposed to get a job here and save up money. That makes no sense to me. And my child has some kidney problems, that she can grow out of, with medicine, which she's taking. They want me to stay until she grows out of that. Ok what happens when I have a nother baby. What then mom and dad. They put all these worries in my head so now I'm wondering if I'm EVER going to move out. I don't know.... (link)
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"Ok what happens when I have a nother baby. What then mom and dad. "
-That says it all... oh boy. Seriously! Another baby?! You're parents don't sound like the problem here. Right now your biggest problem (and, unfortunately, you baby's as well) is you. No job, no degree, no husband, no money and you actually want ANOTHER baby? Grow up a little, get your degree and make a good life for the baby you have. Don't punish her with a life in poverty and chaos just because you were too selfish to do what was right for HER.
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I was on birth control for one month and I didnt like what it did to myself so I got off it. I was suppose to get my period between the 8th and the 12th and I havent yet.. :/ I had sex a few times after being off birth control but it was always with a condom and he always pulled out.. so does birth control throw it off or is this something else? :( (link)
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Yeah, it'll be spotty for a couple of months. Keep being safe, but be prepared for perhaps some spotting or unexpected periods. You're body is adjusting to not having the pill anymore. You're fine.
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i'm a 18 year old girl and I am having some problems.. does anyone have any advice on how i get get over bad memories?? they arent my mistakes.. its just bad things like parents fighting, breakups, bad grade etc.
I realized that i'm always in such a bad/sad mood and i always find my self thinking about past memories that make me sad or put me in a bad mood.. sometimes i even feel anxiety. my chest beats really fast and i feel nervous and my stomach aches.. i don't know what to do.. i feel like i can't breathe.
does anyone have any advice for me? please.. (link)
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Best thing I ever did for myself was therapy. It was a safe and private place to talk about my bad memories and things from the past that hurt me. Sometimes just the act of saying those things out loud can be enough to set you free. I understand that therapy can be an expensive solution. If you feel comfortable, talk to one or both of your parents about maybe finding some counseling services through their insurance. If you can't do that, check at school for counseling services, or do a google search on local services available in your community. Sometimes community centers will offer free counseling services to young people. If you can't do any of those things, a trusted church/religious leader or a close friend will be good. You need someone to talk to about these things. When you keep them inside they get bigger than they were in the first place, and that's what makes you physically ill. When you let them out, its like letting the air out of a balloon.
The good news is, you won't always feel like this if you can find the right people to talk to. Good luck!
P.S. - in response to your feedback - its a start. But I do think its better to have someone you can sit down with. But your friend is a great person to vent to from time to time, so that IS a wonderful blessing to have someone like that. But there's no replacement for having a person in the same room. It adds to the ease of the situation.
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Our brother's wife is overbearing and mean at every family get together. She goes on and on about how wonderful she is, how she does everything right while at the same time being mean and spiteful to everyone around her, particularly the children in the family. She takes over and acts like she's the one in charge every chance she gets. And she thinks nothing of making hurtful, spiteful comments. None of us say anything and continue to tolerate the behavior because we don't want to alienate our brother (who isn't much better than his wife). I say it's time we tell this know-it-all bully that we've had enough. If she doesn't care who's feelings she hurts then why should we? What's the worst that can happen? She stops talking to us? Big whoop I say. I just don't want it to be me who finally blows my top at the next family function while everyone sits by and acts like her behavior doesn't bother them. We've all discussed the situation and agree that she's become unbearable. (link)
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Perhaps she senses that she is not completely welcome in the family and her attitude is a result of her insecurities. Mean people are rarely just mean. there's usually a reason, something they are trying to cover up. If it is that bad, you need to start with your brother. Give him the respect of letting him know how his wife is causing issues before you go behind his back. If he rejects you or doesn't seem to agree, you can all decide not to attend family functions with them (which seems tacky, after all, family isn't perfect, that's why its family!) or you can all decide to ignore her attitude and focus on enjoying each other. You can't ever change another person, you can only change how YOU react to other people.
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