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bad memories :/
i'm a 18 year old girl and I am having some problems.. does anyone have any advice on how i get get over bad memories?? they arent my mistakes.. its just bad things like parents fighting, breakups, bad grade etc.
I realized that i'm always in such a bad/sad mood and i always find my self thinking about past memories that make me sad or put me in a bad mood.. sometimes i even feel anxiety. my chest beats really fast and i feel nervous and my stomach aches.. i don't know what to do.. i feel like i can't breathe.
does anyone have any advice for me? please..
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Want to answer more questions in the Health & Fitness category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Health?
Best thing I ever did for myself was therapy. It was a safe and private place to talk about my bad memories and things from the past that hurt me. Sometimes just the act of saying those things out loud can be enough to set you free. I understand that therapy can be an expensive solution. If you feel comfortable, talk to one or both of your parents about maybe finding some counseling services through their insurance. If you can't do that, check at school for counseling services, or do a google search on local services available in your community. Sometimes community centers will offer free counseling services to young people. If you can't do any of those things, a trusted church/religious leader or a close friend will be good. You need someone to talk to about these things. When you keep them inside they get bigger than they were in the first place, and that's what makes you physically ill. When you let them out, its like letting the air out of a balloon.
The good news is, you won't always feel like this if you can find the right people to talk to. Good luck!
P.S. - in response to your feedback - its a start. But I do think its better to have someone you can sit down with. But your friend is a great person to vent to from time to time, so that IS a wonderful blessing to have someone like that. But there's no replacement for having a person in the same room. It adds to the ease of the situation.
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Suggestions??
Everytime your have a really bad mood or memory, counter it by remembering a good one. Let the good memory have the same people, places, and things as the bad memory. Or at least an "overwhelming" feeling that counter the feeling of sadness in a good way. I suggest making the counter memories funny. For example...
"Parents Fighting?"
Counter it, with you having a real proud moment of them, or a time when they did something truly hilarious together.
"Bad Breakup?"
Some are easier to get over than others, but from what I'm told crushing on another prospect may be all it takes. Depending on whether you're the dumped or dumpee, remember the reason(s) your relationship fell apart.
Sometimes... you can see why it was a bad match-up in the first place, and why you ignored the signals and red flags for the person you did.
Most of the time, you find out a lot more about yourself.
A Riskier Suggestion? (re:bad memories...)
You do have a choice to making them sadder, in order to remember how 'NOT" to feel about certain situations ever again. It's a way to "force" yourself to not to make the "same" mistakes, over and over and over again. This is riskier, because you "should" have a emotional and mental support system around you to handle/contradict being extremely sad/emotionally withdraws and depressed. The possibilty that you may not, IS the risk.
Now as for Physical Symptoms...
like the anxieties, the stomaches and breathing, it's mostly your nervous system and brainwaves working together in overtime. They can either be used as an adrenaline rush to pushed through a wall you've built around certain things, your body's way of telling you RELAX "OR" they're way of telling you to get the hell out of dodge!
If you need a breath of fresh air? Go get some air.
If you need to take a seat? Sit down.
If you need to vent by ranting inwardly or outloud? Make that possible as quick as possible.
Think of it this way... Fight, Flight, Land or Retreat. All battles are not wars and all wars don't have battles. The strength to decide lies within you.
Hope the suggestions contributes to making better memories that outnumber the bad ones.
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