I'm a woman in Texas. I'm married and have a school-aged child. I have a medical background. I'm quite liberal, socially. I love helping people with medical, parenting, and social questions. Don't ask me about tech stuff or finances, because I need advice on those things myself!
Gender: Female
Location: Texas
Age: 34
Member Since: December 17, 2006
Answers: 795
Last Update: September 2, 2007
Visitors: 50091
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Xenolan
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do you see with the brown part of your eye if you are
brown-eyed? or is it only with the black pupil? (link)
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Neither. The black pupil is a hole in the brown part, which is called the iris. The iris is a ring of tissue which has muscles attached and can contract or expand to let more light through the pupil and into the eye. The lens focuses the light on your retina, which is where the light and patterns are sensed. The sensory information is transmitted to the brain through the optic nerve. You see with your retina, mainly, and with your brain (because it must interpret everything you see).
Hope I have answered your question.
Sabine
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i see a lot of people that have these rings:
http://www.babynamesofireland.com/images/pu_images/claddagh_ring_pu.jpg
and they look really cute and i want one of those rings but i looked at a lot of places but i cant find them? where can i get them and how much are they cost? (link)
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Here's a wikipedia article:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Claddagh_Ring
Those are called Claddagh rings. I've seen them at street festivals in Sterling Silver for as little as $10. I'm sure e-bay would yield a number of options. Now that you know what they're called you can do a more successful search.
Best of luck to you.
Sabine
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Ok well fat is fat but why do people count carbs and calories as fat too?
Because if calories, carbs and fat were fats in our body why don't they be called fat all together?
How many of each should you absorb a day? (not healthy but possibly what preps intake. Make sure when you tell me the amount of its how many you should take or how many preps take)
THANK YOU! (link)
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Okay. Calories are a measure of the energy a food gives to your body. It is simply energy in the form of a fat or sugar molecule. The protein is used to build and repair cells. Protein is not stored in our bodies - it's used to build and repair cells and tissues. An average adult needs 2000 calories (also called kilocalories) per day. The specifics depend entirely on your age, body build, metabolism, and activity level.
Carbs are not fat. They are carbohydrates. However, they can be converted in our bodies and stored as fat. That's why it's important to eat roughly the same amount of carbohydrates that you will need for your short-term energy needs. Excess will be stored. That means the carbs become pockets of fat on your stomach, thighs, breasts, etc.
Fat is fat, but we need a certain amount of fat to function. Our brains, in particular, are made up heavily of cholesterol. We need some of it. This is why fish is 'brain food' and why people are encouraged to eat healthy fats, such as avacadoes, olive oil, and salmon.
I can't tell you what 'preps' take. If you want to be thin, you need to customize the balance between the three types of nutrients, fats, carbs, and proteins, to find a healthy balance for your body type and nutritional needs (for example, you likely need more milk than the average 30-year-old because your bones are still developing). There are websites for doing that, like this one:
http://www.calorieking.com/library/articles/The-
Carbohydrate-Fat-and-Protein-Balance_Y2lkPTMmcGlk
PTEzLDE0JmFpZD03NTM.html
(sorry, you'll have to reassemble the link so it will work.)
I hope I have clarified this a little bit.
Sabine
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In one year or so i might be moving with my parents to hawaii, i want to go cause its my home land and i want to move away from CA. I made great friends and i dont want to leave them. i realized i gained feelings to my bestfriend. i told her how i felt and she knows. she didnt respone to me about it. so i knew she didnt care for me in that way.
But i've been geting alot of body lang from her of liking me back. i ignor it but she dosnt want me to.(what i mean is, she flirts and always grab my attention, and when i walk away from it she gets mad or try her best to get my attention again)
the other reson i'm moving away is because of my feelings. I dont like it that i'm in luv with my best friend who is a women.
if she does want to be with me I'll say no. i might break her heart (i know).Because i'm afriad of what people might think.
But if she dosent have feelings to me i'll be happy. but i know i'll be jealous if she is with someone elus.
Am i doing the right thing? of running away from it all? i cant blame her its me i blame.
i can stay here in CA without my parents because i'm 20 yrs old women and i can live on my own. But i dont have a good paying job or a car. so i have no choice.
but still is it right for me to just leave and ignor whats going on between me and her?
i know i need to talk to her and i will soon,but what would you do if your in my shoes? (link)
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Okay. I think what others may have been missing is that your real problem is that you are a woman in love with a female friend. You're uncomfortable with the idea of same-sex attraction. You are thinking that maybe if you start over in another place you won't be troubled with thoughts of wanting to be with your best friend.
My advice is to work on yourself- get an education, a job, a car, or whatever it is you need to secure your future. In the meantime, see how things develop with this woman. If they don't work out, then you can make the decision in a year to move away with your parents. Even if she does like you, you may very well find that you are incompatible for one reason or another and not be together in a year. Or you may be ready to be a family and have children together (with help). Who knows? Wait until you have your answer on whether you can be together with your friend and whether it's going to work out like you want it before you decide to move away. You don't need to decide now. Live your life.
Sabine
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Or i think that's what it's called, at least. I got one as a bday present. It's from the Body Shop. Smells great, blah blah, BUT how do I use it? How much of it should I use? & how often?
Thanks in advance! (link)
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Open the bottle and put your finger over the top. Invert the bottle quickly and you should get a little bit of the oil on your finger. Apply that oil to pulse points behind your ears, on your neck, on your wrists, or the backs of your knees. Don't use too much because this stuff is likely concentrated. You could also put a tiny amount in your hair. There's an old saying that your fragrance should be detectable only by someone close enough to whisper something to you. If people can smell you farther off than that, you have on too much. It might take a little bit of experimenting to figure out just how strong this particular scent is and how long it will last.
Best of luck.
Sabine
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What do you list when you write a bibliography? Because the way I did it, it doesn't look right:
www.__________.com (website)
NDOANONFNFKFNSKF (name of web)
April.12, 20007 (date i foudn the site)
maybe it's in wrong order?
What about for books? (please write them in order)
thanks (link)
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It depends on what your teacher/professor told you to use. There are different formats. Mine used APA format and some use different journalistic ones. You can look them all up with a Google search.
Sabine
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Hi. This morning, as i was in bed, i tried rubbing my eyes, and my right eye, really hurt. so after a few hours, i got up, looked in the mirror, and there was some sort of yellowish-green thick liquid, on the edge of my eye, and my eye was slightly red and runny. there is also a tiny little spot on the edge of my eye, that hurts also. My eye hurts when i blink, or look around. is this an eye infection, or something worse? will it get better with eyedrops? thanks. (link)
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The eye irritation you're experiencing is probably not due to allergies, as that would affect both eyes. The yellow-green discharge does suggest infection. The tiny spot on the edge of your eye could be a stye, which is a viral infection, or something else. Pretty much the only way to find out is to go to a doctor. They can diagnose whether it's viral or bacterial and treat it appropriately. Over-the-counter things probably won't help. You should go to the doctor because eye infections can affect your vision, permanently. You shouldn't take chances with your eyes.
Meanwhile, don't touch your eyes. If they're driving you crazy itching and hurting, don't rub them. Take a cool, wet cloth or paper towel and apply it to your eye with your eyelid closed. Your eyes also drain to your nose, so be careful when blowing your nose and wash your hands afterward. Wash your hands/sanitize with hand sanitizer A LOT. :)
Best of luck
Sabine
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So I'm going to describe this the best i can, but i'm not sure if you'll get it. On the left lip of my vagina, like on the underneather part, it was hurting the other day and its still hurting so i went to go look at it and it feels like there is a tiny hard ball like thing inside of it. When i touch it, i feel a bit of discomfort but it doesn't actually hurt. Also, its not very big though.
And i'm starting to get what looks like the chicken pox around my bikini area but i have already had them, they don't itch or anything but they are just red dots. So help? (link)
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Regarding the bump on your labia, take a look at this website. There are glands there called Bartholin's glands. They can sometimes get clogged or infected or can grow cysts. Usually you don't need to do anything unless they become big or painful.
http://www.aafp.org/afp/20030701/135.html
Most of us get that at some point or other.
The bikini area bumps could be from shaving, chafing, or from heat rash. Or they could be pimples, as someone else said.
Best of luck to you.
Sabine
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I'm psyching myself out on trying to try a tampon. I tried them like a year ago and haven't since... Ahh.
Im 15 1/2 and Ive had my period for about 4 years now and i just dont think they are for me. But i would love to go running with out a stupid pad. Hellp. (link)
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In addition to what ONELOVEEx said, try using a 'junior' or 'slender' size tampon. You may still need a pantyliner. You may even try taking some Tylenol (or your choice)1/2 hour before inserting just so you don't have any crampy pain (most of us don't get that later, but it could happen at first).
I actually find that using a tampon helps with cramps sometimes. I sometimes get crampy when it's time to change the tampon.
Best of luck to you.
Sabine
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stupid
stupid
my mom wont let me hav a boyfriend
and i am fourteen a female
14
14
14
14
pretty lame last yr i went bhinf
her
bac
and had a
boyfrend
it lasted over 6months
it was steady but u
jst 4 my age
and mature
{i say!}
enuf
but she says hav;n a boyfrend is having
is like a SIN
or in dat matter
dat ill b
considered a slut
whore those filthy names
and she punished w/ those names
wen she found i had a boyfriend hurt mor
bcuz she distrust
i aint a bad kid ive matained a 4.0 since 4th and
play sports
and even wen i was w/ him i controlled the
relationship and me and all the
stuff
wat should i do
i can't wait 'till i am 16
yes i can but wen i broke up w/
it was cuz of
dat
we've known each other 4 a long time
but i dont know
wat goes thru her head
*err
wat should i do!!!!
(link)
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Way back, long ago, when I was your age, my mother and I had an understanding.
At fifteen, I could go out with boys I was interested in ONLY if it was a mixed group of boys and girls and 4 or more. It had to be a short date, like 3 hours, she picked me up and dropped me off, and it had to be in public.
Is this a deal you can make with your mom?
Sabine
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can bulimic people get ulcers??? (link)
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Actually, bulemic people are more likely to get ulcers because eating stimulates the production of stomach acids and inducing vomiting takes those acids into the esophagus where the tissues are not meant to handle acids. You can get an esophageal ulcer from your food coming up. People (like me) with reflux can get bad ulcers that way. Then there are the mouth ulcers also and the tooth rot. Usually with an esophageal ulcer you'll feel pain behind your breastbone. Sometimes you'll have trouble swallowing.
You can get stomach and duodenal ulcers (first part of the small intestine as it leaves the stomach) also from stimulating acid with food and then getting rid of the food.
That being said, the normal mechanism for getting a stomach ulcer is by being infected with the H. pylori bacteria and it can be easily treated with antibiotics.
I hope you/your friend/whomever doesn't get an ulcer because they can be serious.
Sabine
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At the begining of the school year, there was a guy in my Spanish class. Gradually we became really close friends, and the more I hung out with him, the more I relized that I really liked him. At both of my best friends pressuring, I told him that I liked him.
How I told him is that I wrote a note telling him. I know it was very childish to do so but I am happy now that I did not tell him in person.
His response to me telleing him was that 'He would never consider being more than friends with a black person.' His words exactly, then after a few days of me fuming and wanting to kill him, he says that he only said that to spare my feelings. He said that he really did not like me the way I liked him, but I think he was lying. Now I feel a little uncomfortable around him, should I tell him how I feel about him now? Or should I leave well enough alone. I'll take any advice. I am an African American female, and he is a white male. (link)
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A friend cares about his friends' feelings. This person is no friend, whether it's because you're black or because he simply doesn't feel the same way about you. If he was telling the truth, then he's a biggot. If he was lying, then he's a liar. Consider yourself to have dodged a bullet because you know that either way he's not someone you can likely be with. Develop other interests. Sorry about that one.
Sabine
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Well today my friend found out her father has been shot and died. She isn't sure yet if it was suicide or someone else did it.
I feel like I'm not being a very good friend. Before you start calling me deadbeat friend listen to my story.
For a long time in our friendship she had told me and everyone her father had died on September 11 2001. He was working at the world trade centre. Then she came clean, she was being an attention seeker and that she had never met her father in her life.
And then today she's hysterical about her father's passing and I find out her father was actually in her life. I'm not ignoring her, or snobbing her off. She's in a very vunerable position and that is the wrong thing to do. But what is the right thing to do? Do I act like she hasn't lied to me all this time for my pity? Do I point it out? How am I supposed to comfort her when I thought she didn't have a father? (link)
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Okay, your friend isn't a friend. She's been playing you and now you can't tell her truth from her lies. So tell her you're sorry to hear of her father's death (don't say AGAIN) and try to be there for her if you are her friend. Then, in a month or so, let her know that she has violated your trust time and again and that you can no longer believe what she says. She needs counseling to figure out why she keeps making herself the victim of tragic circumstance even when those circumstances do not exist. Why does she need so badly to be pitied? She has a psychological problem and you can't fix it. She needs help.
Don't bail on her now, but wait until things have calmed down a little bit (if you're sure this time that her father is definitely dead). Then tell her that she needs to be honest with herself and others. That is a basic requirement for friendship.
Sabine
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Yesterday, I went to the mall with my Mom. I found a really cute skirt, and a top. When I tried it on, my mom insisted that "they were too tight." This happens ALL the time when we go shopping. Every time I try something on, my mom says, "No, its too tight" or "I think you need a bigger size," when I really don't. Something could fit just fine, and she would still insist that it is too small.
So the other day, I started crying, because she never likes ANYTHING that I try on. Then she asked me what was wrong, and I said, "Apparently I'm fat!" And she goes, "Oh no, you're not fat. The clothes just run small."
Mind you, I am a pants size 0, and I weigh 88 pounds. When I was younger, I used to be kind of chubby. I don't know why my mom does this- I'm trying to decide if it's because I really do look fat, or if its because she thinks I look good and doesn't want me to wear tight/revealing clothes. I am very upset, and lately I've been feeling like I don't want to eat. I decided to give up candy, and I fear becoming anorexic. Yet my mom, (who is not thin) continues to encourage me to eat candy.
Should I say something the next time she does this? I am getting really pissed off, and I feel like shouting, "You're just jealous because I'm not fat like you!" at her. (link)
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Eesh. How frustrating! I would not yell those words at your mom. That may cause a hurt you will regret years later.
If I had an 88-lb, size 0 daughter, I would likely be *wishing* she were a "healthy" size, like a 4 (depending on height and age). I don't know how old you are or how tall you are.
I think your mother's thought process might have more to do with the fact that those clothes are a very small size and she's hoping that you "fill out" soon into a bigger size. She may be thinking that they are tight enough that if she were the one wearing them, they would feel restrictive (we old folks like our clothes lose and comfy sometimes). Have you tried putting on the next size up and showing her how the waistband would gape open and show your underwear? That might be the best defense. You might also ask the opinion of a salesperson, whether the size 0 or the size 1 or 2 fits better in front of your mom. If all of that doesn't work, I would suggest that you go shopping with an aunt or another shopping buddy, unless your mom is also along to pay.
Mostly, your mom is right that sizes are not standard. Don't get caught up in thinking that you are a size 0 and only a size 0. Different manufacturers cut the fabric differently for the same size clothing and it will fit differently. So if you take a 0 in Mudd and a 2 in L.E.I., don't sweat it. They are just numbers and the reality is that your body is a certain size which can't be properly expressed in a 1 or 2 digit number.
Sabine
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my daughter is 13. is that too young to be cussing and flipping people off. also her best friend is a guy and they were huging and kissing right when i walked in it was her first kiss and it was with her best friend(guy). shes never even had a boyfriend. is it normal at 13 to cuss, flipp people off and be making out with her best friend. (link)
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Well, I think it's normal at 13 to TRY OUT cussing, flipping people off, and making out. It's her job to push the boundaries and it's your job to let her know where they are and how firm or flexible they are for you.
My daughter is 5, but when she's 13, if she is pushing to be allowed to display disrespect through cursing and rudeness, I will definitely try my best to put a stop to it. I would plan on starting with loss of privileges (no phone, tv, computer, going out with friends, after-school activities, etc.). If she says "everyone does it," then I would tell her that she can do as she wishes if she's alone with her friends, but when she's around other people who will be offended, she must control her behavior. I'd explain that curse words are not inherently bad and they have their uses, but unless she can show that she can use them judiciously, she cannot use them. That means that if you hear those words or if you hear her teacher, grandma, etc. say something about her colorful vocabulary, you will start punishing her. She may want to be the shy, rebellious kind. That's okay. It's fine to dress how she wants as long as it's not a distraction at school and does not imply sexual availability, etc., and it's okay to be different from other kids, but it is important to be percieved by others as being a pleasant person. I don't know whether she's ready to hear that yet. You have to decide.
Regarding kissing the best friend, I think it's normal. Again, I'd set up some rules with both her and the friend. They are not to be alone together. They cannot close the door to her room, etc. This is also a good time to talk to her about sexual hygeine and birth control.
Best wishes to you.
Sabine
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Okay, so I've been wondering about something & I wanted to hear you guys opinions.
My boyfriend & I have been together for five years & we are both twenty one. I love him, I'm in love with him & there is no one else I'd rather be with. We're still young so we don't really talk about marriage but here & there we do say things like "when we get married..." & stuff like that. The other day when we were together we were talking about weddings & how my culture's weddings differ from his & he said he'd want to get married at a court house because it doesn't cost a lot. Then he said or he'd want to get married on an island & only our close relatives would be invited, like his mom & my mom. I know I want to marry him in the future & I've never straight up asked him "do you wanna marry me" but I think, well, if he's been in a relationship this long with me doesn't that obviously mean something? Like apparently he wants a future with me if he's been by my side for five years now? But then again I think, just because we've been together for so long doesn't mean marriage is definite, you know?
So my question is, do you guys think that when a couple has been together for so long that it means marriage is in the future? Are people in long relationships because they want to get married eventually? Ugh, in my head I know what I'm trying to ask but I can't seem to get it out the way I want it to but I guess these questions will do. Haha. Thanks for reading this & all opinions are appreciated! (link)
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All of this depends on a basic question: are you right for each other? Are you a good couple? Do you have plans for 'somedays' together beyond possibly, maybe, tenitively making plans to someday explore the possibility of perhaps getting married or not? Are you living together? Are you compatible sexually, house-wise, and future-wise? Are your family plans the same (kids/no kids, apartment/house, travel/settle down, etc)? Twenty-one is young to get married. That being said, here's an anecdote. I met someone when I was barely 19. He was almost 20. We dated for 2 1/2 years before I told him "I'm not going to be your girlfriend forever." We started looking at rings and were engaged within 6 months. Then we were married on the 5 year anniversary of our first date. We're about to celebrate our 10th wedding anniversary.
Young men sometimes wait for the right time to get engaged. They wait for everyone around them to be married, so it won't feel so odd. They wait for career success or to finish school. Sometimes we have to tell them just how much longer we're willing to wait. With my husband, it wasn't that I wanted to be married right away, but I wanted to know that he was committed to that 'someday' as well. Decide what you need out of the relationship and ask for it.
Sabine
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OK, now im pissed off. Now that my mom's trying to get her money back, and it takes 7 hours to get to Rockford,Illinois, and 7 hours to come back. Well, hes saying that hes going to call the police on her and child services, and get my brother and me taken away from her. I swear if my mom doesnt kill him, i am. GRRRRRRRR, what should do about it, Im on my last nerve, i swear. If anyone bothers me at school tommarow, im probally going to punch someone in the face. WILL SOME ONE PLZ HELP ME?!!?!?!?!?! (link)
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Grrrrr is right. You are not the adult. You should not have to worry about this. The money and breakup is your mother's problem and I hope that she has the resources necessary to get justice. If there's no reason for your brother and you to be taken away from your mother, then her ex cannot make it happen, no matter what he says. That's a bluff. Your mother should call him on it.
Your mother is likely too freaked out right now to be of any comfort to you. There's nothing you can do about the money or the idea that your mother might be investigated by family services.
Here's what I suggest you do:
1) Get a good night's sleep if you can. You may not be able to.
2) If you still feel this tense in the morning, do not go to class immediately if this is allowed. Show up early to school if you can and ask to see the counselor right away because the stress is about to boil over in you. I don't know how old you are, but you're obviously a minor. Children should not have to deal with these problems. I'm not blaming it on your mother. I'm only saying that adults should keep their quarrels between themselves and not do crappy things like leave a woman and two kids without any money because of disagreements. What a jerk. This is very stressful and you have every right to be pissed off.
I hope it gets better.
Sabine
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i have a viral infection on my leg. it's drying up
cause of this cream i'm using, but there's a TERRIBLE
scar there. my dad says it will go away in a few
months because the dead skin cells will fall off & stuff.
besides using a scar removal cream, how can you
either... remove scars, or speed up the process of
making the dead skin cells fall off? should i rub harder
on that area in the shower to make more cells fall off?
or what? thanks in advance (link)
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Yuck. Sounds painful and embarassing. Yes, I would exfoliate with a shower scrubby every time I showered. I would use warm water because it softens the skin and makes more cells fall off. I would rub lotion all over the area in order to provide enough moisture to encourage regrowth. I would put sunscreen over the scar when it's exposed because new skin is very sensitive to the sun. I would use Mederma or another scar compound at night, making sure to rub vigorously. Obviously, though, if there are open wounds or bleeding, do not be aggressive with it; only scrub over completely healed areas. If you scrub off scabs, you'll make the scar worse. You have the right idea, though. Once the skin is in place, cell turnover and time are your friend in getting the scar to fade.
Best wishes.
Sabine
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when people drink blood or suck on it, does it do anything to your body, good or bad? (link)
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Are you talking about one's own blood, like from a cut? No, it doesn't do anything except get broken down in your stomach and recycled with some of the by-products in your stool. If you're talking about drinking animal blood or someone else's blood, yes, it could transmit disease.
Sabine
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Okay, since my parents money is going towards my lukeima treatment..a friend gave me a prom dress. The problem witht he dress is that it doesn't fit quite right. Very close though. When I zip it up, I can't get it to go all the way because I'm just a bit overweight for the dress. Mom said that five or ten pounds should do the trick. Prom is the 28th of this month. Can I lose that much between now and then. I have about an inch to zip up in the back. If I lose some of the weight in my stomach, will that help it zip up? I want to kind of crash diet, but I can't really do that because I have to consider the fact the I have lukeima now I and I can't quite do that.. (link)
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Yeah, from a former nurse, crash dieting is a bad, bad idea, especially for you. Your oncologist may not even want you to lose 5-10 lbs. Can you get a new dress another way, like through Make-A-Wish or some other foundation? Can you get money from grandparents to buy one in lieu of a birthday/Christmas present? Can you have the dress from your friend altered (sometimes a seamstress can let it out at the seams)? Can you find a suitable one at a consignment shop or a thrift store? I agree that you should try some undergarments. Don't lose any weight unless it's approved by your oncologist, though, please. You need your reserves!
Are you worried about a port-a-cath bump, if you have one? I find that halter-style dresses hide the scars I have on both sides from port-a-caths.
Best of luck to you and happy prom!
Sabine
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