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my daughter
my daughter is 13. is that too young to be cussing and flipping people off. also her best friend is a guy and they were huging and kissing right when i walked in it was her first kiss and it was with her best friend(guy). shes never even had a boyfriend. is it normal at 13 to cuss, flipp people off and be making out with her best friend.
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Well, I think it's normal at 13 to TRY OUT cussing, flipping people off, and making out. It's her job to push the boundaries and it's your job to let her know where they are and how firm or flexible they are for you.
My daughter is 5, but when she's 13, if she is pushing to be allowed to display disrespect through cursing and rudeness, I will definitely try my best to put a stop to it. I would plan on starting with loss of privileges (no phone, tv, computer, going out with friends, after-school activities, etc.). If she says "everyone does it," then I would tell her that she can do as she wishes if she's alone with her friends, but when she's around other people who will be offended, she must control her behavior. I'd explain that curse words are not inherently bad and they have their uses, but unless she can show that she can use them judiciously, she cannot use them. That means that if you hear those words or if you hear her teacher, grandma, etc. say something about her colorful vocabulary, you will start punishing her. She may want to be the shy, rebellious kind. That's okay. It's fine to dress how she wants as long as it's not a distraction at school and does not imply sexual availability, etc., and it's okay to be different from other kids, but it is important to be percieved by others as being a pleasant person. I don't know whether she's ready to hear that yet. You have to decide.
Regarding kissing the best friend, I think it's normal. Again, I'd set up some rules with both her and the friend. They are not to be alone together. They cannot close the door to her room, etc. This is also a good time to talk to her about sexual hygeine and birth control.
Best wishes to you.
Sabine
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