|
My friend does not like me just because of my race
At the begining of the school year, there was a guy in my Spanish class. Gradually we became really close friends, and the more I hung out with him, the more I relized that I really liked him. At both of my best friends pressuring, I told him that I liked him.
How I told him is that I wrote a note telling him. I know it was very childish to do so but I am happy now that I did not tell him in person.
His response to me telleing him was that 'He would never consider being more than friends with a black person.' His words exactly, then after a few days of me fuming and wanting to kill him, he says that he only said that to spare my feelings. He said that he really did not like me the way I liked him, but I think he was lying. Now I feel a little uncomfortable around him, should I tell him how I feel about him now? Or should I leave well enough alone. I'll take any advice. I am an African American female, and he is a white male.
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
As for continuing your friendship with the guy, do what you think is best for you.
I think, that just because he doesn't want to date outside of his race that it doesn't make him a bad person, or a bad friend. However, I think he went about it the wrong way in telling you that.
One way to straighten this out is to do like you say- tell him what you feel about it. Tell him how it made you feel for him to say that to you. How exactly was he sparing your feelings? I know I would have been hurt by what he said. He didn't have to say that he could never be more than friends with a black person. He could have just simply said "sorry, I don't like you that way."
You need to discuss your feelings with him. Let him know that he hurt you with that comment. If he is a real friend, he will listen to you and try to work out the problem. Maybe after you work it out, then you can put it behind you, because you are right- if the hurt never goes away, it will only damage your friendship.
]
That's just ridiculous. No one should hear that from someone, especially someone who is supposed to be their friend! You need to just leave him alone, he sounds like a major jerk.
I definitely understand why you'd feel uncomfortable around him. He's like one of those racist people that say "hey, I have black friends, I'm not racist" like that actually makes a difference. It doesn't.
That was just a really rude thing to say and if you don't want to confront him about it, I'd just separate myself from him altogether.
]
Leave it alone. He said he didn't like you like that, so if you feel awkward just leave it alone for a bit.
Besides, he basically told you he didn't see himself with a black person. That's hella rude.
]
He has no right to treat you like that, no matter what circumstances. There is nothing wrong with people of your race and you guys shouldnt be disgriminated. It sucks, but it will happen, even though it shouldnt. I think you should completely blow off this jerk and dont try to be friends with him. I dont think that anyone who would say something like that, whether its true or not, is a good friend. I would ignore him to prevent a huge argument, and not talk to him, even if you do like him. If anything, i think that you should calmly say how you feel, but dont try to become best friends with him, because something like that would take time. i hope i helped :D
]
A friend cares about his friends' feelings. This person is no friend, whether it's because you're black or because he simply doesn't feel the same way about you. If he was telling the truth, then he's a biggot. If he was lying, then he's a liar. Consider yourself to have dodged a bullet because you know that either way he's not someone you can likely be with. Develop other interests. Sorry about that one.
Sabine
]
More Questions: |