I aim to give you solid advice on your problems. I don't sugarcoat things and I'm always straight up. Don't come asking for what you want to hear as I always give the truth even if you don't want it because it's what you need and the only way to grow.
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Member Since: December 31, 2006
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Last Update: August 30, 2022
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I'm looking for some new books to read. I go through like a book a week, and I'm running out of books. I'm 15/F. I like fantasy/romance type books. Does anybody have any suggestion for any books/authors that are good? (link)
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You might enjoy an author named Paul Kropp (paulkropp.com) who has a book out called Running The Bases: Definitely Not A Book About Baseball.
This is the synopsis taken from his Web site:
Running The Bases... Is a lighthearted look at the issues of teenage dating: a funny book with some serious ideas beneath the surface. Alan Macklin has a simple goal - he wants a girl, some girl, any girl - but he hasn't a clue how to get started. When advice from his friend Jeremy proves unreliable, he decides to go right to the source - a girl he can trust. That girl teaches him everything he needs to know about dating, except for how to reach home base."
There's a sequel out called Home Run. You should try something more adult too such as John Grisham, Anne Rice. Don't forget the classics either as you should enjoy Mark Twain, Dickens, Bronte etc. Hopefully, you'll be into Kropp as he's written 50 books.
I'm not connected to him in any way and I'm just posting the link and recommending him as being a good novelist for teens. The web site one of the other users gave you is also amazing. Hopefully, all of this gives you some great reading material.
I remember being like you when I was younger. I couldn't seem to read them any faster than they could write them. I went through 3-4 books a week. It's good for you though ;)
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Yep, my AP Psychology class is taking a field trip to the zoo. It's a project, we have to observe people and their behavior etc. Well, she wants us to think up of a couple quick questions we could ask some people, like quick questions that would only take a few seconds or whatever. And she said it would be a good idea to do like a little experiment or something. So I don't know what to do. Any ideas would be helpful. Thanks. (link)
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The one question people will want to gab your ear off about is the admission prices, parking prices, how to reduce lineups. You may find a question about what animals they want to see at the zoo that aren't already there will work.
Also ask what they think about certain exhibits in the park and any rail or people moving services or lack their of to get around the park. That should work as those questions are practical rather than ambigious or hard to answer such as what animal would you be.
A good assignment would be to have one partner approach them with weird questions like that and you approach with questions like what I'm suggesting and guage the reactions.
Before coming up with questions you should approach your prof and ask them what they hope for you to accomplish by going to the zoo and what they expect of you. This will greatly help you skew your questions and earn higher marks if you can figure out what your instructor is really after.
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I grew up in a Catholic family and always hated going to church. Stand up, sit down, stand up, sit down, kneel, stand up sit down. So boring and predictable.
Then I quite going to church for many years. I then tried some Christian church that was HUGE. They played music the whole time, which was alright. The sermon was OK to, but being raised a Catholic I wasn't comfortable with holding my hands up in the air and all these ministries and expectations.
I'm totally turned off by the conservative George Bush right wing religion thing to. I don't want to preach and I hate having people preaching AT me.
What are my options? Buddhism? Jewish? (link)
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This is an excellent question and I commend you for asking it and raising the issue. There's a lot of young people who feel the same way you do about religion on here that will be helped by you having asked.
Having said that, just because you grew up in the Catholic Church does not mean you have to stay there and follow its doctrine for the rest of your life. If you don't think being Catholic is where your heart lies that's fine.
You are free to explore and nobody or anything can keep you from that. Your options are endless. You can choose another religion that agrees with your principals or you can leave organized religion behind and just follow the spiritual teachings you feel apply to your life.
While sermons with music that are unpredictable and not boring are entertaining ask yourself if the message the minister is trying to get across sticks with you, impacts you and makes you recall it later. If all you can remember is the music than you know that's not where to end searching for GOD and or something that you really feel connected to.
The point here is to find religious, spiritual or other teachings you can apply to your own life to achieve peace, joy, happiness and feel assured.
The best thing to do is visit churches as you have been doing and have a list of critiera in your mind that they need to meet. You'll find less people will preach to you or try to convert you in a non-demoninational setting or group or where their sign indicates everyone of any religion is welcome to attend.
Now, I don't endorse any particular church or religion myself but I do like the following Web site www.spirituality.com where you can talk to other people about religion, your problems you are dealing with and actually study the bible and religion in a setting where nobody preaches to you or expects you to join a church (even though it is created by one). It's a site for sharing ideas.
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What do you people think of a psychologist (male) who acts more like a friend than a therapist? Here are examples: (1) he tells you to give up a friend you like because your friend gives you bad advice: (2) you tell him a story about how a customer loved the jacket you wore and the customer told you they know you take a small but the customer wants to know if the jacket comes in an extra large and you tell the male therapist what the customer asked and the male therapist starts to guess your clothing size; (3) you tell the male therapist you had problems with an exboss and the therapist instead of helping you cope with this boss, the male therapist tells you the exboss doesnt like you. (link)
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Sometimes I think therapists and psychologists are more lost and or sicker than their patients. Having said that, there are also many who are brilliant and beyond helpful. I'm not so sure where this guy ranks though.
Alot of therapists/psychologists like sessions to be informal. They want to know about you as a whole and your interests etc to figure out how best to help you open up about what is bothering you. Often they will take an approach where they act like your friend just to get you to talk freely.
This is far from unusual at all. It's a widespread tactic that works for them to get more to slip out of you in the session that needs to be fixed.
I'm not sure why your therapist would listen to a story about compliments you received and then guess your size. That sounds a bit weird to me but then I wasn't there for the conversation and reaction.
In the final instance the therapist is just stating the obvious that your boss dislikes you. Again that doesn't help your problem unless he told you our boss is a toxic person for you to be around and to look for another job. That's helpful the other thing you said he said is not.
If the guy is making you uncomfortable and not helping you at all I would end the sessions. Ask your family doctor who they recommend you see as they may know someone who is more skilled and or professional than he is.
If something is making you feel weird about seeing this therapist trust your gut instinct to remove yourself from the situation. Therapists are a dime a dozen but it's difficult to find a good one as they don't have to be doctors to practice.
Perhaps it would be best depending upon what issues you are having trouble with to ask for referal to a psychiatrist or an adolescent psychologist who your family doctor trusts. You cannot go wrong there.
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ok this is a weird question but where exactly on a guys genitle area does hair grow (link)
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It's not a weird question when you think about it. Pubic hair grows around and sometimes on the scrotum which is the sack that holds the testicles. hair can also grow around or near the anus as well. I hope that answers your question.
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i love my best friend to death, but i always feel like she talks about herself and thinks that i care. i don't really know what to say to her..usually this is online when this happens, and i usually just say "lol" or something like that, trying to give her a hint that i'm not that interested. and whenever i talk about myself like a problem i'm having for a little bit, she helps me for a little bit then just stops caring. UGH it bugs me so MUCH!!! (link)
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This is usually a problem that only childs in a fmaily have or the youngest. They have to strive harder for attention and to be heard that talking about themselves too much in front of others becomes second nature.
They don't even have any clue they are doing it and annoying people with it. Even if she's not the youngest or an only child some people just have a big problem in this area.
The problem here is that she has no idea she even does this or that there is a problem. She's oblivious and not likely to believe you unless you can show her that she's doing it and come to her with examples of it.
When you are alone with her just tell her that you need to tell her about something that is affecting your friendship and her social life on the whole. Tell her that you and her other friends have become upset because she tends to rattle on too much about herself and not listen to others if they do the same. Give examples to her.
Let her know that guys are picking up on it too and it turns people off especially when she doesn't listen to others who need her help but expects it from you and her friends.
Do this alone and privately. She's likely to get upset or feel hurt but once she thinks about it she will realize you helped her out ten fold here. Just whatever you do don't have this conversation with her and a group of concerned friends.
She will feel ganged up upon and will dispise you. Do it in private, be sincere and she'll have the right reaction and want to change.
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whenever i get my period i get a rash on my vagina and it get scabs and sweaty idk whats wrong? (link)
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Have you tried talking to your mother about this and telling her exactly what you told us? Although it may be embarassing to do so you must.
This rash every time you have your period is not a normal thing at all. Your mother was your age once and has dealt with infections, periods etc. so she will understand this is hard for you. You need to show her the rash. There's a chance she will know what it is.
You will need to see a gynaecologist most likely who can check it out and make sure there's nothing wrong with you or your reproductive system. This problem won't go away on its own and needs diagnosis and treatment.
The only other thing I can think of that may be your problem is an allergic reaction to the pad or tampon itself. Also, have you been leaving them in too long and past 3-4 hours? There's a lot of reasons not to do that.
I doubt this has anything to do with TSS but you might want to read the article here http://www.kidshealth.org/parent/infections/skin/toxic_shock.html about it because if you have more sysmptoms on top of the rash that have a correlation to symptoms of TSS you'll need medical help.
TSS is a difficult thing to understand and the only reason I'm linking you to an article is on the off-shoot you have any additional symptoms that could be linked to it.
Bottom line: Tell your mom about it or an older female and get to a doctor who can treat it.
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Does anyone know when Blades Of Glory comes out on dvd???? oh and if you havent seen it i reccomend seeing it it was funny that movie is great omg everyone has to see it (link)
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You might want to bookmark videodetective.com It's a site that has all the release dates for thetrical films and DVDs. It makes usually accurate predictions about what month a theatrical film will arrive on DVD and is usually first with the new release dates.
Just so, people here know I'm not connected to the site--I just use it and recommend checking stuff out there. I do know for a fact that films that tank financially and are not massive hits or little ones even wind up on DVD 2-3 months after being in theatres.
The reason being? A film earns 60% of all it's box office totals off of DVDs. If it tanks they want it on DVD within 2-3 months to make back what it lost.
If Blades of Glory turns out to be a hit it will likely run 6-9 weeks in theatres. When a theatre books a film they sign a contract that it must play for a certain length f time usually 6 weeks with the studio. After that the studio can decide to release it on DVD.
Expect any hit film such as this one to take 5-6 months tops to be on DVD. I'm not guessing I know that based on having read a lot about the subject.
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13/f
lately, i've been feeling kind of down sometimes.
It's like, when im hanging with my friends, im fine most of the time.
When I'm home, with nothing to distract me, I tend to get very depressed.
Well depressed is a strong, i just feel kind of sad for no specific reason.
I get in a lot of fights with my parents and that stinks, and I like a guy I can never have, but besides for that I have a pretty good life.
What's going on?
What do i do?
Thanks! (link)
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What you need to do is tell your parents about this and what you think is the cause. Together with them document in a diary what is happening, what triggers it usually and how often it happens.
Why do this? moods that flucuate as much as yours have and do could be signs of a mood disorder such as bipolar which you will need treatment for from a psychiatrist.
You're also needing to document everything that happens with yor mood and any dark, depressed, sad, strange thoughts to make sure that you aren't about to experience a manic episode.
You also need to document any times when you feel super euphoric or high that isn't normal behavior for you as well as that's a sign of trouble.
The fighting with parents is normal regardless. As for the guy? who says you cannot have him? If you keep feeling depressed and sad for no apparent reason go to your doctor and have him try to assess what is going on.
If he is clueless and cannot tell you what to do ask for a referal to a child psychiatrist who can check out if it's a mood disorder or not.
The other cause that may or may not be the reason for why you feel happy one moment and sad the next could be hormonal during puberty. Having said that, you did mention this happens a lot so it's likely medical and needs treatment.
Talk to your parents about this tonight and keep track with them about the fluctuation and see a doctor who can assess you. Symptoms like these or sudden shifts in how someone is feeling behaving that have gone on for quite a while need to be looked at and not taken lightly.
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how am i to know if i am obsessed with a guy. i mean i really do care about him and i know he cares a lot about me. i think about him all the time and write in my diary about him every day. he makes me so happy and yet i know he may never like me. i know that he loves me as a friend but he already turned me down once. now it seems to be different. but i really dont know how to approach him about it. i prefer not to tell him that i like him again. i told him that i stopped liking him and now i like him again. what should i do? (link)
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Sounds like full-throttle obsession to me ;) You cannot deny how you feel or mask it. He will pick up on your feelings rather easily without you telling him. Should you confront him with it again? If I were you I would give it one last try.
Tell him that feelings are hard to hide and you cannot do it any longer. I mean what can he say to that? The word "no" never killed or harmed anyone. He might even say "yes" to you. You need to find out where you stand with him on this so that you can move on.
Your revelation won't kill or impact your friendship. If it was going to do that it would have already done so the first time. I think you should tell him and see what happens. At least you will know what to do then.
The diary, and all the other things you mention means you have to get the truth out.
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Female.
Wondering about how to masturbate? I always feel down there but I am like kind of scared to do anything and I dont know I know it's normal and healthy and stuff. I just don't know what to do, where to do it, and how it feels?
THANKS! (link)
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There is no way that you can hurt yourself doing this at all. Unless you are using power tools or someting very sharp you can explore around down there and it's not a problem.
On this site people would get banned for giving you a how to. having said that, masturbation is normal and each person likes different things. Even if someone did give you a how to answer it would be what works for the and not all people.
You have fingers and the ability to use them to explore your own body. That's how anyone discovers what they like sexually from this activity. Keep exploring to find what works for you.
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So, at my school we have a TON of international kids[most are from Asia]. Well, there is this one guy(he is Korean) that has had my eye for a while now. We make eye contact often and at morning meeting thing [our form of school announcments] he always sits next to me. I've never talked to him before, but I want to start. The only problem is, is that he isn't very good with English and I only see him hanging around with the other Asians at school. How can I begin a conversation with him without it being too awkward/random and confusing? Thanks =]
Btw, Im a female high schooler. (link)
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The best thing you can do is go talk to him when there are other students around him that speak his language. You can then introduce yourself and talk freely as they translate.
This way you'll know he understands you and knows who you are without you confusing him or running into communication blockages. I think he would be delighted that someone bothered to talk to him or sought out one of his friends to translate.
The other thing you could do to really get to know him better is talk to his teacher or prinicipal and ask if you could help him with his English and tutoring him with their support so you can communicate properly.
Talk to the ESL teacher and express your interest in becoming his friend and wanting to help him but that you cannot speak his language. They'll help you out.
If you want to talk to him and just introduce yourself and be friendly until he picks up enough English to have small conversations just talk to him like you would anyone in English and get his pals to translate for you. He'll appreciate it.
Also, be sure that he doesn't have a girlfriend. He might outside of school or could have become attached to one of the other Asian girls he knows at school. Good luck!
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Is it okay to go out for halloween even though you're christian? I want free candy..I'm Christian and I think it's ok but.. (link)
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You should read this article on Halloween that goes over the history of it and the religious controversy past and present about it http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Halloween
I know a lot of people who are Christians that have enjoyed Halloween and celebrated it as well as collected and shelled out candy for years. The choice to celebrate it or not is yours based on what you feel is right or wrong.
Check the article out as it should help you determine in your mind whether it's right or wrong to partake. many Christians do partake in it each year but nobody but yourself and your beliefs can tell you if it's right or wrong to you. You have to weigh all the information with what you have been taught on a religious level.
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do you know when your wathcing a movie, and they start hard core making out, and the girls like, "i have to go the the bathroom, i'll be right back" that ALWAYS happens. why are they going to the bathroom? it happens in almost every movie, what are they doing? (link)
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It's a plot device ususally used in horror movies to isolate two characters from one another so that one goes away for a moment so that the other gets attacked when left alone. This is usually when you see this cliched make-out sequence written into a teen movie.
There are other times it's used as well. Sometimes the scene is scripted so that the character has a few lines to set something up that is about to happen or will happen in the film. When the writer has no more use for him/her they send the character to the bathroom never to return.
A famous instance where this happened in TV is with Happy Days. Ron Howard's character had a brother one season and the character wasn't working so to write him out seamlessly the writers sent him upstairs to the bathroom. He never came down. It's an easy way of disposing of a character that is non-essential.
Characters are also sent to the bathroom a lot on TV if for instance it's kids who get replaced by older kids at the end of a season to show that the story moved forward and there's no need to explain he/she is now 7 or 8.
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I really like my guy best friend. Ever since i told him two days ago, hes been avoiding me. Im not excatly sure what to do now. Should i leave it or talk to him? Any advice is greatly appreciated.
(14/f) (link)
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What this means is that he is not into you in a romantic way. He's avoiding you as it was a shock to him. He also is evading you because he hasn't figured out how to tell you he isn't interested.
What do you do? Go about your usual business and leave him and the situation alone. He will either address it on his own in due course or he'll walk away entirely as he cannot be open with you.
I'm sure he will come around on his own though.
When he does approach you again and he raises it as an issue tell him you would rather be friends than nothing at all. Having gone through this situation several times with friends in your position 99.9% of the time it means that the guy or girl isn't interested.
He doesn't know how to tell you without creating hard feelings and causing the destruction of a friendship. The best thing you can do is leave him and the situation alone and wait and see what he does.
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I don't know if i'm super shy or if it's a medical problem but I can NOT present in the front of the class. I can't even stand up there and read one paragragh! My legs and voice automatically starts shaking, my face gets redder and redder, and if I stay long enough tears just come out of my eyes.
Sometimes if the teacher is undestanding, she'll let me present it to her alone during recess but this is for a big project that is about half of our report cards. 30% is going to be in our oral marks so I HAVE to present. There's going to be about 3-10 pages to read.
I can't even barely stand up there to read one paragrapgh so how am I going to read ten pages? I was so nervous that one time I fainted! Taking deep breathes and calming myself down does not work. Please help me..my life is literally on the line and my reputation in the school too (link)
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Neither your life nor your repuation is on the line. That is especially so with the former. Even if you screwed up royally people will know that it was fear and nothing else.
They won't judge you because 99.9 % of them have the same trouble you do getting up there but have found a way to make it through it.
The best thing you can do for yourself is to forget the amount of marks the project is worth and how much you must read of it to the class. Don't allow yourself to think about that or to be upset about the presentation.
What you need to do is tell the teacher how much presenting scares you before going in. This will make them remember it and judge you you differenly based on what is in the actual report.
The next thing you need to do when presenting is to block everyone out but one person in the audience. Think in your head that this one person needs to know the info you are an expert on as it will affect them deeply. Make the one person you focus upon the teacher and nobody else.
Look directly at him/her the whole time. Nobody else matters, it's him/her you have to wow. You'll be able to get through this with ease and confidence by blocking everyone else out.
While only looking at him/her you need to cheat a bit. It may be time consuming as hell but write the part you are supposed to present on cue cards. Once again block everyone out but the teacher in your mind and just read off the cards until you are done. It will work for you.
If all else fails picture everyone in their underwear and just go aout presenting without thinking about anything else. Do not under any circumstances try to present it alone at recess to your teacher.
Why? This shows the kids you have a problem they can tease you about and secondly, you'll never learn how to present something on your own for other teachers. You need to see you can do this on your own. And you will and should see that if you use the tips above.
The other thing you ought to do is sign up for drama classes and oin your student council. It will teach you how to speak in front of others and get comfortable with it. If you use the tips I outlined you should be fine at your presentation.
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My housemate just came home with a chinchilla.
I have borderline severe asthma. I'm allergic to everything with fur and feathers. They didn't consult with me before getting it because "they're hypoallergenic pets".
I've been doing research, and apparently they're not. I'm not just allergic to dander; I'm allergic to saliva, which, oddly enough, ends up in the air.
I'm really ticked off that they didn't talk to me first, knowing what my condition was like (this same guy brought two cats to the house TWICE to stay for weekends, and I ended up in the hospital because of it).
Am I right in being annoyed?
Has anyone been in the same situation (housemate with a pet they're allergic to) and have any tips on how to keep my next 3 years from being miserable? (link)
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Why should the next three years of your life be miserable? It's not the chinchilla that is the problem here. The problem is your relatiosnhip with this inconsiderate lout who thinks he can walk all over you and have his way.
He knew of your condition and recent hospitalization. It was his responsibility to consult you and he didn't do it. I don't know what your lease says about you backing out of it but I would start looking for your own place pronto. It's the only way you'll be happy and remain healthy.
Even if this critter is leaving with his girlfriend soon he still should have asked you about it. No matter what the issue be it a pet or something else he has no respect for you and likley the other roomate is the same.
You have to put both of them in their places sooner rather than later about being inconsiderate people. Then announce your departure date and let them learn from that. It's time for some tough love being given out by you. He thinks you are wishy washy or something and until they know they can't screw with you they both will.
Tell him to kindly keep said pet in his room and ask that he give it to her immediately because of your asthma and health. I don't buy his BS over it being a gift and waiting to give it to her.
He could have bought one at any time and handed it off to her for her to have and have someone else take care of it other than him if she's out of the country for a bit.
You have to get a backbone with this guy especially for him to take you seriously. You're right to be pissed off. If you ever want to be happy though you have to put him in his place and move out on your own. You cannot change self-centered people like him easy if at all.
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well this is pretty embarressing but whenever i open my legs i get this really nasty smell and i discharge way too much. i don't think its an infection or anything cause its been this way since around i hit puberty which was like 4-5 years ago. is there anything i can do to get rid of the smell? (link)
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There is normal discharge that all girls have and abnormal discharge that could mean you have an infection or an STD if sexually active.
If something stinks pretty bad and the color of the discharge is a nasty color (like a weird green) and is accompanied by burning and itching you have a problem you need a gynaecologst to solve.
The best thing to do is read this article on healthy versus unhealthy vaginal discharge and then approach your mother in confidence about it. As embarassing as that seems it really isn't because she is a woman two and has had to deal with it all before.
Here's your link http://www.pamf.org/teen/health/femalehealth/discharge.html
I hope that helps you. Also, the idea from another poster about baby powder may mask odor but not help you at all with an infection and abnormal discharge. Get it checked if the article isn't helping you determine what it is.
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I feel really awkward when people ask me about my religion and stuff because i'm agnostic and don't think there is a way to prove if god is real or not. I really don't want to tell my friends that because most of them are really religious and i'm scared they wouldn't like me if I did. Why do people think it's such a big deal if you don't believe in god? I don't know if I should tell them or not. (link)
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There is an old saying that goes "don't talk about your relgious beleifs or politics as it will always lead to trouble." If this subject comes up just tell them matter of fact that your family doesn't discuss their religious beliefs or political beliefs or ties with anyone.
Tell them that your family feels that such views are private and personal and to respect your decision. It really isn't any of their damn business anyways or for them to judge.
I really cannot tell you why some people feel it's a big deal what someone else believes about God when they should focus on themselves and their beleifs about it. At any rate I wouldn't worry about it but I would keep your beliefs under your vest.
If anyone continues to bother you about keeping it private ask them why it matters so much to them? If they share their beliefs or want to convert you tell them thanks for sharing but I have my own beliefs thank you and walk away.
They'll understand and or get it that it's a topic not to bother you with. Your religion, your political ties any of that are your private business. You don't have to talk about it or explain it to anyone else.
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I don't have MS Word so I have to use the Wordpad,but I don't know how to double space with it.I already typed it up and I was wondering if there was and easy way to go back and double space it.It's required so I have to do it. (link)
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I would manually put in an extra space between your lines yourself to allow him/her to be able to mark your paper as if it was double spaced.
Before handing it in attach a note telling him that your computer does not have Word on it and that you use Wordpad to do your assignments and you double spaced it manually by yourself. He/she cannot fault you for not having a new computer or using one without word.
Make sure you talk to them before you hand it in as well as give a note so they cannot dock you any points. I would also in the future try usng your school's computers to write your assignments. If the teacher isn't fair with you have the issue taken up with your parents and him/her and the pricipal. I doubt it will come to that though.
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