I aim to give you solid advice on your problems. I don't sugarcoat things and I'm always straight up. Don't come asking for what you want to hear as I always give the truth even if you don't want it because it's what you need and the only way to grow.
Gender: Male
Member Since: December 31, 2006
Answers: 3591
Last Update: August 30, 2022
Visitors: 133643
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ok, so yesterday i went to my boyfriends house. we were messing around and he fingered me like really hard and when i got home, i noticed i was bleeding. did he pop my cherry? am i still considered a virgin? im so confused and worried b/c i didnt want to have sex or lose my virginity til im married (link)
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You are still a virgin. To lose your virginity you would have had to have intercourse. Odds are your boyfriend was far to rough last night and that led to the bleeding you experience.
Nothing really pops or breaks when it comes to the hymen. It stretches and that can happen either through sex, masturbation or tampon use these days. If you use tampons and or masturbate regularly it's undoubtly been stretched without you knowing and or thinking about it.
My only advice besides the above is to tell your boyfriend to be gentle and not maul your genitals like a bear here. Show him what feels good to you and what doesn't and communicate before and during this activity.
You have to remember he's a guy and at his age has no idea what he's doing down there. Guys are also rough with their own genitals so it's not helping any. You're still a virgin so no worries.
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I really want to volunteer. I want to change the world and I need to start somewhere so I want to start now by volunteering (or any other way you can think of). I am a 14 year old girl in PA. Where could I volunteer? (link)
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There are endless places you could volunteer at your age and some you may never have thought of. One of the best choices would be to call the administrators at a retirement home for seniors and see if you can go and read to seniors, talk to them, play games etc. a lot of seniors don't have family near by so your visits would mean a lot.
That's just one idea. If you have a favorite charity such as World Wildlife Fund, Cancer Society, Peadatric AIDS etc. call up their local offices and see if you can come in and maybe do some filing and clerical work. They always need people who have the kind of drive and determination you do. They'll find something for you.
Another really interesting and cool thing you can do to help society is to call MADD (Mother's Against Drunk Driving) They have programs where youth serve as ambassadors at their school and such. Google MADD for the national page that will list their chapters near you and outline how teens can get involved.
Another good place is the Learning Disabiliies Assoc. of America. You would probably be doing clerical work mostly but still making a difference. You will learn a lot about advocacy and compassion from them just like you would in a similar situation with your national Mental Health Assoc.
Also, I'm not sure how old you have to be to work with Habitat for The Humanity on their houses as a family or in their offices but check out their offices in your state and figure out if you can do anything on a local level.
An even easier place to start is at your school by being on student council as you're serving the entire school and making it better.
I think The Temptations said it best in one of their songs "You can only change the world one heart at a time." You're on the right track and so selfless for someone your age. You don't see that quaity in a lot of kids until they are more mature and older. Someone certainly raised you well.
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Ok i dont think this is in the right category but w/e. this girl like hates me and 2 of my friends. she keeps saying to me she wont do anything if we dont and im like i wont but she keeps saying that all these people wanna fight us ( and long story short she doesnt like us for the stupidest reason ) anyway im really afraid someone will just come out of nowhere and start fighting me...i dont know how to fight!! lol we already talked to our guidance counselor and she said to work it out and be mature..what are we supposed to do if they keep threatening us? (link)
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While there are some guidance counsellors who are actually good at what they do a lot of them are flakey or have no clue how to help teens with most of the issues they are confronted for.
As far as I'm concerned they're good for keeping student records and printing up your transcripts for college. Other than that, they aren't liscensed to be councillors nor do most have the training from my expieriences with the same and other issues that you raise.
Basically, with guidance counsellors don't approach them for a job that only a liscensed and therapist or psychiatrist can handle. I've often got downright scary/dangerous advice from them.
Now, that that rant is done what you need to know is that this girl is using the classic threats all bullies use. She wants you and your friends to be scared of being atacked as she can get a rise out of you and feel empowered.
The reality is that she's bluffing and nobody will be attacking anyone or it would have happened already. It's all smoke and mirrors and a scare tactic to have you all afraid of her when in fact she probably cannot fight herself and wouldn't be able to handle herself if it were a reality.
There's a remote, miniscule amount in fact that maybe she is wanting to fight and has pals who want to do so with her but in all likihood she's just trying to scare you.
What should you do? Well you can tell your teacher and principal what has been going on and tell them the guidance counsellor brushed you off completely and that you're getting annoyed nobody cares.
If they don't find a way to help you hae your parents and your friend's parents approach the school. If unsatisfied then grab our local paper (the one that comes with all the fliers) and phone the editor and ask if you can write a letter or editorial in your own words about being bullied that points out the school didn't care.
In fact, telling school officials thi with your parents present gets them to back pedal and bend over backwards as they don't want negative attention at all from the media.
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I love my mom so much. But most times she really scares me. She dresses like a hooker wearing really tight short shorts and and belly tops that reveal way too much. She goes to these late night clubs and always brings strange men home. I can almost swear that they are high. One guy showed me his gun and laughed histerically but never told me why he had it. I don't know what to do. She scares my friends away, and one time during a parent teacher conference my teacher almost called the cops. I was so humiliated.
What do i do? (link)
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No matter how old someone is not all of us learn to grow up. This is what she needs to learn. She's not 13-years-old and picking up random men in night clubs is not setting a good example here.
The fact your teacher nearly called the cops means her parenting skills need worked on BIG TIME. What do you do? Talk to that same teacher about the fact your mom doesn't act her age, dresses lie a hooker and has random men over all the time.
While your teacher or guidance counselor cannt stop your mother they can talk to people who can give you support or have her confronted about what is going on at home.
If the authorities need to come in from child protective services (I don't think so unless the situation is far more sever than you said) to warn her about her lack of solid parenting skills and judgment it may be a good thing.
Your teacher, guidance counsellor or principal should confront her about all this. Even better would be if you had your father find out about it. He could bring it up with a judge about your welfare and maybe change things so he got custody of you and not her.
If you had a family member you trust confront her here and make her take parenting courses that may help. Your father should be told about this and especially play up the incident with a guy who brought a hand gun into your house to teachers, guidance counsellor and your father.
He can see a lawyer to gain custody and have your mother be supervised around you. I understand you are humiliated but once you do this things will start changing.
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Hey i'm 17f, and work at a small restrant. The bosses son is about 19/20 y.o. He always looks at me when im at work and comes and talks to me, gets stuff like drinks... (he dosn't do this for any one els).... I like him verry much, he's realy nice and realy good looking.
But i was wondering; would it be ok to go out with the bosses son?
all opinions accepted
thanx! (link)
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This is a situtation where it would not be a good idea to mix buisness with pleasure. While the relationship might work out well there's always the chance it won't end up nicely.
If you should break up your boss will always stick by his son and may make work difficult and uncomfortable or find some kind of loophole to fire you without repercussions on them.
I would stick to being a close friend of this person and if or when you leave his father's restaurant for college etc try going after his son then. Right now it's not a good situation especially if you need that job and the money.
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I want for my bf to touvh my boobs but I don't want for it to go any farther than that. What should I do? (link)
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You are in control here. If you want him to do anything with you than tell him and let him know there are rules that he cannot break. If he tries something you don't like or want to happen scold him and push him off. Then go home immediately. He'll get that you are serious.
Just say to him you can touch here but nowhere else as i'm not ready for X yet. If you try doing anything else you'll regret it as I'm out of here.
You're in charge when it comes to your body so just tell him the boundaries and enforce them with him by pushing him off and heading back home for the night.
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Well im gonna go short.In DEEPLY in Love with my Best friend but he has a gf.I reallly want to tell him how i feel but im scared:(.plz guys tell me what to do..i really really really like him.Do you think theres something i can do to make him leave her??or i dunno plz just hepl out:'( (link)
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Unless you want his girlfriend snarling at you like a pitbull you shouldn't say a thing to him about it yet. It will either drive a wedge between the two of them (she'll find out you told him trust me) or worse make him decide to lose you as a friend for fear of losing her.
While it's agonzing to " sit on this" for now its the best plan. Their relationship may blow up tomorrow or it will inevitably and you'll be in the wings when it does and then you can tell him your true feelings.
Right now the best thing you can do is to try and become as close as you can as friends first. Get him to trust you with everything and present yourself in a good light and maybe he'll see you as the better choice ether now or sooner than you think.
You have to be everything she isn't for him without yet crossing the "friend" line. Show him who he is missing and when their relationship ends you can go in and hit him with the obvious fact that you want to be his girlfriend with nobody getting hurt here or blowing up at you.
Don't try and pry him away from her as the friendships that are really deep between someone like you and him lead to powerful relationships later and trying to get him to ditch her will just explode in your face.
He would resent you and you better believe her claws and fangs will come out. You could always ask him just for a laugh what he thinks of that track Avril Lavigne just put out about the same sitution you are in called "Girlfriend".
I'm completely kidding here but if you joked songs like that and relationships in general with him he just might get it that his best friend may be the one for him.
It would also give you a sense if you joke about relationships and he starts opening up about his where the flaws are so you could later show him you're a healthier and better choice to be with.
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ok i have a problem. my boyfriend and i have been having sex for about a month now and i still havent been able to have an orgasm yet. hes getting frustrated and thinks its his fault but i know thats not the case. n e suggestions on helping me to have one?
~thanks (link)
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It's neither your fault or his and you better tell him that. Pressure to have one or stress over it especially put on you by him will make t so you won't have one. It's something that happens naturally and cannot be forced.
Like the other person said most women don't climax (orgasm) through vaginal intercourse alone. This is something you should also tell him so he stops piling frustration on you.
You'll probably find that foreplay including clitoral stimulation etc. etc. will lead to an orgasm as that's what happens with a lot of women and neither he nor you should feel bad about not having it through sex. It's not anyone's fault and he's no less a lover or any belief he has about that.
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Well my mom is 37 she was married twice and had a boyfriend. But all of a sudden she likes this girl. The girl is gay and my mom i dont know if my mom is becoming gay. But i dont like the girl shes with and i dont trust her. I know shes a perve and she wants my mom in ways you should know... She is taking my mom away from me and my mom doesn't really seem that happy. What should i do??? (link)
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A person doesn't "suddenly" be gay or lesbian. It's something that they have been their whole life and may have finally accepted about themselves. This is probably what has happened with your mother and why the marraiges truthfully broke up.
You might not like this but you need to accept her regardless of what is happening and trust her instincts. She would never bring someone into your life that she thinks would cause harm to it or you.
What you should do is talk to your mother about your feelings here and about the girl that she likes. Put it all out on the table and ask her the truth about her sexuality as you are confused and should know as her daughter the truth.
There shouldn't be any more secrets or questions unanswered between the both of you. Nobody can take your mother away from you and unfortunately it's up to her to decide that she's unhappy about it or this girl but you can certainly try and make her see all the things that you do and the fact the other person isn't to be trusted.
You just cannot convince her unless she wants to see that. You need to have a mother-daughter chat and get all this out in the open and dealt with as soon as possible.
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Is there a way to reduce the amount of discharge a girl gets? (link)
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You might want to read this article on vaginal discharge because it could help you http://www.pamf.org/teen/health/femalehealth/discharge.html It explains what the different types are and wat you should be having versus not.
There's healthy discharge that every girl gets throughout life and as far as I can tell you cannot control it but you can eliminate the kinds that are linked to infections or other problems.
The article should help you out. My strongest recommendation is for you to head on over to a site designed for teens (I have ZERO connection to it btw admin) called Scarleteen.com They have a ton of fact sheets on discharge etc. annd interactive boards where you can ask these questions and have a qualified sex-educator give you information.
That's what I recommend if you feel the article doesn't answer your question or nobody else provides a solid answer.
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I'm 15, I've been getting colds very frequently. Before spring break, (wich was 4 weeks long) I seemed to be getting them every other weekend. My weekend would go normal, and then on Sunday I would start to get runny nose, sore throat, fever etc. etc.. and then I end up being absent from school on Monday.
Well I just got back from break (no sickness at all the whole time), and this past weekend was my first weekend back, and i'm sick again. I'm guessing its either from stress of going back to school and getting my homework done Sunday night, or not lack of sleep. (wich I get up early on both Saturday and Sunday for church)
Can someone clear this up for me, so I know exactly what I need to be doing diffrent to avoid getting so sick every week ? (link)
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If you are having frequent sore throats, runny noses, fevers I would see your doctor. He/she might refer you to an ear, nose, throat specialist.
When sore throats and sickness like that happen all too frequently you should (if they aren't already removed) have him look and see if you have a problem wth your tonsils or not. I used to have sore throats chronically when I was younger and that's why. I missed a ton of school with the same trouble you mention.
Also, being stressed or worrying constantly over things can indeed make you physically sick. If anything it's not helping you here. The only other thing I can think of is that the room you are in is either too cold or more importantly damp. If you live in a room or basement apartment that could be it.
You might need a dehumidifier machine for your room that sucks mositure/dust out and purifies the air you are breathing in I have a hunch that could be it.
The bottom line: See your doctor first and fid out if it's tonsils and if not ask his/her recommendations and try out a dehumidifier as purified air may be what you need.
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14/f
i hav only had sex twice but now i feel horny alottt. Like almost all the time. its really annoying because i cant just have sex everyday, and now me and my bf broke up so i really cant get any. is thos normal? will it go away? (link)
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It's completely normal. Your hormones as the other poster already pointed out are on maximum overdrive. This happens during puberty and in some people it leads to a high sex drive and the horny all the time feeling you have.
It's normal and as you get older and out of adolescene the hormones will get into whack and your sex drive will decrease some what. The good thing is that you aren't hooking up with random people now your b/f broke up with you.
If you are feeling this horny there's nothing wrong at all with releaving the sexual tension through masturbation. That is the safest way to deal with it for now. You'll probably find if you do that to combat those feelings that a decrease in being horny afterwards will happen.
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ok so i understand my bff has been friends with this other girl since like 2nd grade or sumthing like that and the last couple of weeks they hang out ALOT unless my friend is with me like after school they r together and everything then the day they go back to school they are telling everybody wut they di and everything i know u shouldnt be jelous but is there a way i can be less jelous please help me (link)
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You should tell yourself every time that you begin to feel jealous that your friend likes you just as much as her other friends. Know that this is true and tell yourself again that she has enough love and friendship to go around for everyone. That statement is also true even if you fear it isn't.
The other thing you need to remember is that both of you have other friends beside each other. Sometimes you need to hang out with them rather than eachother all the time. This does not mean you like eachother less it just means you're making time for the others too.
That's all she is really doing here. You need to remind yourself of that and the fact she always comes back to you and hasn't ditched you.
Naturally, she's going to be as tight as she is with you with this girl she's known that long but it does not affect your friendship with her at all.
It's also natural for people to discuss what they did over the weekend with one another. Just remember while it was their time to share this time that it will be yours next time as you'll get to go with her to places they won't.
This brings up my other point. Your friend might think this girl she knows and her other friends aren't in to the same things you are or that you won't get along with her/them.
The next time they start talking together about what they did you should casually mention "Gee that sounds like fun. I wish I could have gone with you." This lets your friend know you would like to hang out with her and everyone else.
You could also ask your friend to introduce you to her other friends and see if you can all hang out as friends. You might want to throw a small party and invite them all some time.
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Okay today during my martial arts class my boyfriend (18/m) got kicked below the belt where it hurts... and since then he's been in quite abit of pain, less then an hour after he urinated some blood... 4 hours after the incident he has aching in his testicles and is still leaking some blood. Should he go to the doctors in the morning? I'm really worried about him but I don't know how serious it is as I haven't seen him since it happened... I won't be able to talk to him until the morning now but what should I do? (link)
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I would if I were you rather get him seen to by a doctor now than in the morning. The problem might only get worse if he waits. The presence of blood in his urine is far from a good sign. He will of course live. However, he needs medical assistance right now.
If his doctor's or a clinic isn't open to take care of him right now head to an emergency room. They will treat him on the spot and will want to do so especially if he has blood in his urine.
He might feel a little mortified about going to the ER but sometimes when you have a problem that needs checked asap like this one there's not much choice about what to do.
Although he suffered the kind of pain I wouldn't wish on anyone else and I'm not poking fun here by saying it I hope other youngsters in here think twice about neglecting to wear an uncomfortable jock strap. It can save you a lot of pain as your boyfriend's story illustrates. Definitely see a doctor tonight. No two ways.
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okay guys... how do guys feel about shy girls? like are they willing to get to know them and wait until the girl opens up or do they get totally turned off? help is needed> (link)
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I prefer an intoverted girl from an extroverted one any day. If a person isn't willing to wait and get to know someone or draw them out of their shell it's their loss. I like girls who come out of their shell after a while of me encouraging them. Anyone who won't wait isn't worth dating.
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ok so ima 16/f and i got an email from myspace admin. saying that someone hacked into my account and it said in tht email it said that email address but i deleted it.. how do i get that email back? (link)
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It's a good think you deleted that e-mail even it was an accident. Nobody from Myspace will ever contact you tell you your account has been hacked. If it told you to click a certain link or provide details don't.
Trust me, you would know your account had been hacked because every last one of your Myspace friends would be affected if the attacker sent messages and bulletins under your name. If nobody is griping about that don't worry and to be safe change your password.
The people who sent the message to you probably wanted all your account details so they could hack you. If you need to see that e-mail again check your trash folder. However, trash automatically disappears after a certain period on there.
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Ok. I'm really confused. I've a couple of questions about fingering:
1. How deep do you have to go 'in there' to pop the cherry?
2. Does it pop after finger is insterted for 2cm only?
3. If it does pop, does the blood look like period blood or different (like blekh skin leftovers or something)?
My period finished yesterday. I was fingered today and found blood on my panties afterwards. Is it 'leftovers' from my period or was my cherry popped? And again, it wasn't more than 2cm deep but it hurt like !@#$.
Sorry for making this disgusting but I need answers.
Thanks loads in advance.
(link)
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Your hymen isn't actually popped at all. It's stretched and in all probability it has already been stretched without you knowing it. Masturbation and or tampon use will do it. It's a mucuous mebrane that partially protects your vaginal opening. If you use tampons it's been stretched.
If you don't use tampons and it hasn't been stretched before you'll experience mild discomfort from pentration and perhaps a small amount of blood. If it has not been stretched pentration regardless of depth will make it stretched.
Unfortunately, I cannot answer the second half of the question about whether it's period blood or blood from this activity. I'm not female but I'm sure someone else will be able to handle part 2 of the question for you.
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Addressed to males:
How do you like it "down there" (when it comes to the, you know, hair).
Embarassing question, but I need to know.
Thanks. (link)
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You are to find a lot of different answers to your question. The results will be inconclusive as there is no one consensus on what guys think about this. All of us are different.
As far as I am concerned pubic hair is natural and nothing for the girl to be ashamed of having. It doesn't matter to me whether a girl shaves down there or not. As long as the girl is comfortable with her body it ought to be her preference on what to do with said hair.
Personally, i don't mind either provided she's clean and it's trimmed. Other guys are bound to aree or disagree with that assessment.
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my boyfriend fingered me yesterday and now im sore. is this normal and how long will it take for the soreness to go away. (link)
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I think your boyfriend must be being too rough here and vigorous. This is why you are sore. You need to tell him to be more gentle and guide him so he knows exactly what you want and how fast, hard to be or not be.
You need to communicateall of this to him before and during fingering and you should be fine. You have to remember most guys have never seen a vagina before at your age and don't know what they are doing down there. Also, most of them are very rough when playing with themselves to begin with. You have to teach him your vagina is ultra sensitive.
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well ive had sex like 3 times. and last night was the 3rd time. it still hurt, when will it stop hurting when you have sex. im still really sore. and also, his dick kept falling out and i was really drunk and so was he. we just gave up after a while. i didnt really know what i was doing either. i know next time im with him, were going to do it again so can someone please tell me how i can make it better for him and me and when it will stop hurting for me, oh and why my vagina kept making a farting noise?
k thanks. (link)
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The "farting" noise you hear coming from your vagina is natural and normal. You see, the vagina is a dead end street so to speak annd thrusting from sex packs a lot of air up there.
It has to come back out somehow so that's the reason for the noise as air that gets packed up there during sex is coming back out. Just laugh it off if it happens and tell him why it happens if he's not aware of this. Most guys are though and aren't phased by it.
I think your problem with soreness may be with how hard he is thrusting. You should try to get him to be gentler and slower or you should try another sexual position especially where the girl is in control and on top.
That would actually help with the problem where he is slipping out too. You would be able to guide him better and ensure it doesn't happen that way.
You might also be sore if you had sex three nights in a row and he was very vigorous with thrusting. Your body needs time to relax and it will continue to hurt if you do the same thing each and every time you have met these last 3 days.
Also, make sure you are lubricated well. If you have to buy a water-based lubricant from the drug store. This could be why sex is hurting you a lot. The friction from thrusting will hurt and continue to hurt someone if there's no lubrication present.
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