I aim to give you solid advice on your problems. I don't sugarcoat things and I'm always straight up. Don't come asking for what you want to hear as I always give the truth even if you don't want it because it's what you need and the only way to grow.
Gender: Male
Member Since: December 31, 2006
Answers: 3591
Last Update: August 30, 2022
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this weekend brought a really big shock for me. i found out that a couple of my friends that i think very highly of have gone as far as 3rd base (theyre 14-15) and then my best friend ever whom i look up to has tried pot (didnt like it) and got drunk at a party (shes 18)
now i'm not trying to force them to stop doing these things, its their life and their body, but it deeply disturbs and saddens me. i understand that this is very common behavior in high school (i'm homeschooled) but like the most smartest people i know have done that.
how do i deal with this? i just really have a hard time imagining them doing these things, its almost like its their alter egos. idk.
oh ya ps they arent lying about it... trust me on this.
any feedback would be mucho appreciated. if it helps the furthest i've gone was making out (link)
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You can present people with other options than doing something so destructive but you cannot force them to change or adopt your point of view. It is their life to do as they please and sooner or later they will learn either on their own or through life kicking them in the butt what they should and shouldn't do.
Don't judge them for this as we all learn on our own usually the hard way where such behaviors get people. As long as your friends are protecting themselves when it comes to sex they're okay. They haven't changed personality wise, but your perception of them has and that's what you need to deal with.
If you like these people continue to do so. You don't have to agree with their private lives and decisions or condone drug use. You just have to accept them for who they are apart from that and pass no judgment. It's hard at first but you can do it.
When it comes to sex think of it this way that everyone does it, it's normal and people start at different ages but what matters is whether they are mature enough to handle things and protect themselves.
These people aren't any different from anyone else who has sex regardless of age. Sure, they're too young but again you cannot force them to see it.
Obviously, your friend learned from the pot experience that it's not for him/her and never to touch this stuff again. We're all human and make mistakes. It's not for you to judge them for it or vice-versa them to judge you.
Everyone has their vices including you. If you like these people go on liking them and realize we all have flaws and hard lessons to learn. Life will always straighten them out and not you.
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I am a freshmen female in a college in New York, and I have been in almost a year long relationship now. I found out tonight that over spring break, right after we had our biggest fight, he'd told some of his friends from home that he'd had sex with me. I thought he was a decent guy, and he agrees it's wrong to discuss that because it's personal.
I found out today and am furious, because these are people I know. He INTRODUCED me to these people after he told them. The only way I found out was catching him in a lie.
I feel completely demeaned and violated. I don't know what steps to take next. (link)
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Tell him goodbye and that this was inexcuseable. He cannot be trusted with any personal detail about you. What kind of guy does this to a girl? Obviously he lacks maturity, tact, intellect and any kind of decency.
You need to kick him to the curb and find someone else regardless of spending a year with him. He has zero respect for you and it's not about to change apology or not. He deserves to get dumped if you ask me.
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I cut myself twice while shaving my pubic region. This was about 2 wks ago. By trying desperately to fix this situation, I believe I've only made it worse... I work on my feet for a living and the costant walking around with these cuts has caused immense pain and extra irritation to the cuts. So, I can't stand to use the restroom because my urine burns the cuts, and wiping has also been painful. I tried using gel soap to cleanse the cuts, and Balmex for comfort while walking, but both only served to agitate the area even more. Now my skin is chafed, the cuts are still there - and they're pussing slightly!! This is making me miserable, two weeks of pain and irritation, fear of having to pee, and I definitely can't have sex like this; God only knows what kind of extra damage that would cause! How do I heal these cuts without continually making the situation worse? (link)
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If I were you I would not put anything on the cuts but continue to bathe and cleanse yourself with soap and water. some of the recommendations such as liquid band-aid etc may in fact make things worse as that product isn't made to go on your genitals.
The best thing you could do is talk to your gynaecologist or arrange to see one and tell them the truth that you did in fact cut yourself with a razor twice when shaving that area. Trust me, they won't bat an eye at all as they deal with all kind of these questions a thousand times a day.
Although you may feel embarassed go see the gynaecologist and ask him/her exactly what they would do to take care of the cuts and tell their clients. If you have an older sister or a female you trust you could tell them as well. your first line of defence is always a gynaecologist here.
You aren't the only girl or woman who has cut themselves down there while shaving believe me. They've seen it all. Also, you're right not to have sex or masturbate etc. until the cuts are healed.
I would also follow the advice on ways to make urinating easier below. I hope this helps you. I just know that some of those products they recommended below especially liquid band-aid should not be placed on your genitals. It could make things worse so be very careful.
I would stick with soap and water and visit your gynacologist especially in the cuts are oozing puss. That's a real problem only they can help you with successfully.
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when i try to play a game on my ipod it says i need to download it again on my computer, so i try to and it says my computers not authorized to play the games or something like tht so i authorized it and it still doesnt wrk!!! what do i do?
(link)
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If you live in a city that has an Apple Store see www.apple.com or in Canada apple.ca to find out take it to them. They'll know what is wrong with it and can replace parts if you have their Apple Care tech support package.
The best thing you can do if you live in a city with an Apple Store is to see them. If not calling 1-800-My-Apple will get you someone on the line who can direct your call to Apple Technical support.
Tell them what Ipod modle you have, the serial number etc and they'll set up a file with you and walk you through different scenarios and technical things that will get it going again for you.
I have an Imac so I use their tech support a lot. Often sales people at Best Buy, Circuit City etc know very little if at all about the Apple products they sell. You have to watch them as they'll tell you anything. Don't let their repair service anywhere near your Ipod.
I would call tech support at Apple (visit their site for more info see above links) and they might have your Ipod running correctly for you in seconds--well minutes to be more exact.
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so i have this friend. and she criticizes EVERYTHING, especially music. so i found this new band mcfly, and i like them and they're pretty good, they're a british punk band. and she HATES them. shes always saying they're whiny and nasty and a boy band, and she hasnt listened to them. so i said cute is what we aim for is whiny and nasty. but, ive actually listened to them and i think they are like that. then she got mad and started flipping out saying cute is what we aim for is not whiny and that i didnt know what i was talking about and stuff. this is just getting really annoying and if she listened to them and then said they were whiny, id be fine with it. because she at least have something to base her opinion off of. but she refuses to listen to them. so how can i get her to either listen to them or just stop talking about them?
thanks (link)
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Well by now you have learned you really cannot take her seriously when she reacts to anything critically. If she doesn't know what she's talking about and just opens her mouth to be heard it's her problem and not yours.
You really only have two options here. You can either take whatever she says with a rain of salt and say nothing or do what I would do if I were you.
I would say to her the next time she does this "Have you ever noticed just how critical of people and things you appear to come across as?" She might get in a huff at first but maybe you need to straighten her out and tell her how you and others feel. It may help her socially.
The other option you have is to never talk to her about movies, music, boys or anything she can get critical about but then again that is pretty inplausable.
I would tell her the truth, let her get upset, and then watch her cool down and change her ways or just grin and bear it and know that she doesn't even know what she is saying half the time and likely enjoys the sound of her voice or the attention her remarks may generate.
You also cannot get anyone to listen to music or anything they don't want to do. You can suggest it but if she will not listen to your CD consider it her loss and move on to something different. Try to find things you can talk about where she's not shooting her mouth off and being critical if you can.
The bottom line: If I were you I would take her aside when alone and in the nicest way possible tell her what you think of her always being critical and not always thinking or knowing what she's talking about before she speaks.
Tell her you're doing her a favor telling her this as she's annoying everyone she associates with by her behavior. And trust me, that's true. She's oblivious to this as it's how she talks and likely gets it from her family.
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i kind of want my boyfriend to finger me.. we rub eachother and stuff but thats as far as it goes..what i want to know is:
1. does it hurt the first time? if not, what does it feel like?
2. stupid question, but can you get an STD from it?
3. How long does the guy usually do it for?
thanks. (link)
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If it hurts tell him to "STOP" immediately. Why? because he's doing it wrong or is being too rough. You shouldn't feel any discomfort or at the very worst bleeding from this. If you do it's all his fault as he doesn't know what he's doing.
This is where you come in. You have to communicate with a guy before and during fingering about where you want to be touched, not to be rough etc. If you do that it will not hurt and will be pleasurable for you. Essentially, fingering is the guy doing the same things you would if you were masturbating on your own.
Must guys your age have never done this before or seen what the female body looks like. That's why they go in as if they were attacking that area of your body during fingering etc and are super rough. Talk to him before, during, after.
You cannot get an STD from this. It's exactly like masturbation and safe. As far as how long to do it for you're in control there and can tell him when to stop and that you've had enough.
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hi my name is sarah im 18 years old! im just wondering what i should do! its kinda awkward... but everytime and my boyfriend get intimate he ask to have anal intercourse. i'm just wondering whether this is normal or maybe he is confused with his sexuality?? maybe someone out there has had the same problem as me?? advice or solutions would be much appreciated as i would not like to have anal intercourse. thanks so much you guys.. (link)
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You set the rules and boundaries when it comes to sex and if you don't start doing it soon. You owe him nothing when it comes to sex. If you don't want to do something such as anal intercourse than tell him no.
Tell him point blank "You know I love you a lot and it's nothing personal but the thought of that kind of thing is disgusting to me and not pleasurable. Do not raise the issue again with me again as I'm saying it once only, NO."
He's not gay hon, the thing with guys and this particular act is that the muscles in that area clamp down on his penis and the area is super tight unlike a vagina. some guys are obsessed with things needing to be tight.
It's also pleasurable for him but usually painful for the woman and requires a ton of lubrication because the walls of the anus can/do tear. It's high-risk sexual activity especially for transmission of AIDS (which he doesn't have but just saying).
You wear the pants here and determine what goes on with your body and sex. Put your foot down and tell him it's not happening. If he pouts tell him to find another girl who is willing. He won't, but he'll get that you are serious.
Don't be afraid with guys to let that "roar" inside of you come out when you have to let your point of view about something like this come out. He has to understand in no uncertain terms that you're in control when it comes to sex and what you'll do with him period.
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Me and my boyfriend havent been together very long, but April 27th is his birthday. He doesn't want me to get him anything, but I want to atleast get him something. Its his birthday. He told me that he had all he wanted for his birthday...me. He said all he wanted was to go to the mall and watch a movie or something. If it was okay with my parents.(he can drive) I want to get him something, I've known him all my life, I know what kind of cologne he wears and everything..Heres somethings he's into..I don't know what I should get him, I'm also kinda on a low budget...$50-$60
He wears
Curve Cologne
Fox
American Eagle
Aeropostle
He's into
4wheelers
fox
roosters..( a little)
please help i dont know whether to get him something or nothing...:S (link)
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If I were you instead of just going to a movie and then forgetting about it a few weeks later instead spend a quiet evening with him. Make him dinner for 2 with candle light and serve an easy to make dessert.
Top that off with cuddling etc and give him a gift card to the movie theatre as he would appreciate that from the sounds of it. The next thing to do is get creative and make him a "coupon book" that entitles him to redeem 52 coupons a year for hugs, cuddling, dinner for 2, massage, without you knowing what he chose.
A lot of couples do this at christmas and birthdays and it works beautifully at bring them closer and spice things up. If the only gift he wants is to be closer to you than this is perfect.
This tops cologne, gift cards, CDs as he'll remember this all year and appreciate you so much more for having done it. Get him a gift card to the movies or elsewhere to boot and you're more than golden.
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Hey guys! Well, I'm a HUGE HUGE HUGE Queen/Beatles/Led Zeppelin and Elton John fan. Does anyone know any other good bands like them? Like general oldies stuff. I've heard of many...But I just don't know the right ones to choose. :) Thanks in advance. (link)
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It goes without saying Billy Joel especially if you like Elton John they often tour together. I just saw Joel last night 3.5 hours of pure brilliance just him on stage.
If you like Elton John you'll enjoy James Taylor for sure but also Bruce Hornsby. Hornsby worked on a lot of the Grateful Dead albums as a pianist and is a soloist now. He wrote "The Way it Is" which Tupac covered at one point.
You should also check out Genesis as they are a brillaint British rock band that was led by both Phil Collins and Peter Gabrial. It goes without saying their string of billboard hits are endless. Skyrd and the Eagles are great as well.
You should also try The Who, Grateful Dead, The Ramones, The Police. While you may associate The Temptations with oldies like My Girl and not your thing they can sing just about anything going. Their new album "Reflections" has a lot of stuff on it you'd like such as "Ain't No Mountain High Enough" and other songs. Not in the same vien as who you mentioned but a hell of a great album of 1970s cover tunes.
Definitely buy a Bruce Hornsby album if you are big into Elton. Billy Joel just put out a 2 disc live album called "12 At The Gardens" which has 95% of his material on it recorded over 12 nights (sold out) at Madison Square Gardens.
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um me and my boyfriend both want to make out.. it's both of our first time and do you have any good places where we should do it? and if u say movie theater can u put a good movie??? (link)
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You have to be careful in movie theatres. As long as everything is above the waist and you don't do anything people can complain about or you can be charged with you should be fine there but I don't recommend that at all unless it's a drive-in.
People are pretty touchy at movie theatres with complaints and managers, ushers objecting. You don't want to get thrown out of a movie theatre and told not to return. it happens regularly as i worked in one.
The best thing to do is go for a walk in the park, have a picnic and pick a spot in the shade. You should be fine there. Make sure kids aren't around and that if anyone approaches you asking to stop etc. apologize and move on and go home.
You should also try your rec room or his and establish a rule where people knock before entering. You should avoid public places altogether as spots to do this in.
Your school has no doubt security cameras so going there after hours is not a good idea nor is making out or doing anything below the waist (goes without saying but some people do) as you are still in public and if not busted by a cop school admin has a tape.
You should just try to do this at his house or yours in the rec room or basement and ask for privacy of those who may be at home and establish the fact that you can be trusted and have boundaries and rules with your parents. That's your best bet to get them to trust you being alone with him at home.
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okay so i have a couple questions about discharge :]
1. about how long should you have it. like ive had mine since like..6th grade and im in 8th now.
2. okay so do you have to wear a pantyliner thing when you have discharge. like me i ussaully just wear my underwear because i have discharge EVERY SINGLE DAY. and like its kinda a waste to get pads and shioot. so yeah. i just thro it in the wash.
3. okay this kinda has to due with the question up there. like.. since i have discharge every day. is that like normal? i mean like i dont get it when i get my period obvouisly but like.. i have it any other time. just like always. so yeah. is that normal or what?
thankkkkkkkkkkkkkkyou. :] (link)
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I figured you could benefit from these articlse (see link below) on all kinds of discharge and what is normal with it and the frequency of it and what isn't. This question comes up a lot here on the site so I always try to help by pasting the following link.
You may want to pay special attention to the link to the FAQ as it has answers to every question that most girls/women ask or want to know. It's the third of three links and then the two links for kids/teens espeically the bottom one.
http://www.pamf.org/teen/health/femalehealth/discharge.html
http://familydoctor.org/194.xml
http://www.wdxcyber.com/mvagina.htm
Here's one that breaks it all down for kids and teens in particular
http://www.kidshealth.org/kid/grow/girlstuff/discharge.html
http://www.scarleteen.com/body/discharged.html
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(14/f)
When do you think is the right age to give head to a guy?
If you knew him for a long time?
My friend told me it would ruin my life if i do it
Suggestions PLEASE! (link)
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It's really not about age unless you are a minor and he's an adult which isn't the case here. It's all about maturity. Both of you need to be mature here and understand the consequences involved with getting into sexual actitivity like this.
The first thing you have to establish is whether or not you and your partner are mature enough to handle this. He's known you for ages and you feel comfortable and connected to him. That's where you want to be.
However, having said that is he the type of guy who will enjoy the experience and then ditch you after he got what he wanted or tell all the guys at school about it?
A bigger problem for you both ( you didn't say you were in a relationship) is if you think this will destroy your friendship or relationship should anyone feel well, disappointed or embarassed or whatever. You both have to figure out if you can handle it and whether the friendship will change forever.
My advice is to talk to him. If you cannot talk to him one cannot expect to have sex of any kind with that person. Tell him you want to go to the next level and were thinking about oral sex for both of you or whatever else. Talk your concerns over and then decide together if you want to do this. Don't let him pressure you into it though.
I don't know where your friend gets her information on sex but this cannot ruin your life unless you aren't ready and have a negative experience with someone who made you feel embarassed or was a jerk that blabbed.
It sounds though that this guy is a good person. It's now up to you to talk to him about your ideas, go over your fears, plan things correctly and set up rules and boundaries especially about keeping things private between you both.
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Ok, well im 14 years old, and my phone bill just came in yesterday , and my Dad pays for it, and hes supper mad at me because its so high.is there any way that i could make a deal with him and try to get out of a little troble with it ?Is so that would be great , cuz im scared because once he tells my Mom im going to be in alot of troble. (link)
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I think you should pay at least half of that bill. If you don't hae a job now you should get one and donate some of your monthl;y checks to it. The problem here is that unless your father pays all of the bill himself he will be referred to a collection agency that won't stop calling and can ruin his credit rating.
It's your bill so you are responsible for paying some or all of it. Like the previous poster stated you need to take responsibility for your own phone and know how many minutes you have a month plus how much ringtones and text messages cost.
What you should do is have your dad cancel your cell phone plan unless you are roped in to some deal for a certain amount of years. You should buy a pay as you go cell phone that gives you 50-100 dollars of air time on a card you activate it with.
If you go over the amount on the card you cannot make any more calls until you purchase a new one. If you are roped into the plan you have now keep track of your minutes, limit text messages and get rd of voice-mail completely. The last one is the most expensive feature on the phone as you're charged for recieving and listening to the messages.
See if you can get a pay as you go phone or if not an unlimited plan.
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what is it exactly
i looked at google
but they use big words
ahahah
so can anyone tell me like what it is
what are the symptoms
is it life threatening
does it go away
i just wanna know
thanks (link)
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This article from wikipedia is really easy to understand and tells you what it is and what it does. Essentially, mono is an infectious virus that among other things makes your lymph glands swell. It's also known as "the kissing disease" and you'll see why once you read this http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Infectious_mononucleosis
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ever since Sanjaya was voted off the show i've been wanting to get into contact with him so badd. does anyone know his email address or something? thanks so much! (link)
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Celebrities seldom put their personal info such as an e-mail address on the Internet. They work with publicists who handle all their photo requests and correspondence. Below is a mailing address for American Idol that should work. Just put his name above American idol on the envelope.
Sanjaya Malakar
C/O
American Idol
P.O. Box 900
Attn: FOX BROADCASTING Publicity Dept.
Beverly Hills, CA 90213 0900
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I'm applying for a job at a clothing store and I never applied for a job before. Ive worked for my mom as a receptionist at her hair salon. What would a typical job resume look like? Can anyone possibly send me their resume so I can use as an example? If possible, mail to luvleetwolip@yahoo.com (link)
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I'm not sure what software or operating system you have on your computer but your word processor should have built in resume templates where ll you do is slot your personal info in the spaces.
Try to create a new file/document with your word processor and see what templates come up as a choice. There are resume templates that will pop up that you can use. It's suppoed to be built in to most word processors used with both Windows and Mac machines.
I'm not sure people will e-mail you their resume as an example though as they by nature contain a lot of personal data about the person. You should mofify your question slightly and ask if they can point you to the right templates and give tips on writing one.
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My friend always calls me a cunt.
How bad of a word is this? (link)
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It's pretty vulgar and offensive. The C-word refers to female genitals. Some friend if you ask me!
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i know this sounds stupid but when people say "he fingered (sp?) me" wat does tht mean thanx :D (link)
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Figering refers to a male stimulating a female's genitals for her pleasure. That's what it means by being fingered.
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My hair is fine in the morning and stuff, but it gets all messed up by the end of the day. My sister's hair is straight all day long, but mine gets all messed up. Is there anything I can do to keep it straight all day long? (link)
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It's quite natural for your hair to get messy like that. Having said this, my recommendation would be to take one of those water bottles you use to spray plants and keep it in your locker.
When your hair gets really messy at the end of the day take the bottle out, fill it with water and spray your hair. If your hair is wet it will stay down and straight when you take a hairbrush with you and brush it in the way you want it to go.
Basically, you need to wet your hair and comb it. Another idea would be to wear a headband to keep it all in place but that might not suit your personal tastes and style.
I hope this helps as I see a lot of girls and guys doing what I recommended. One you have your hair in the position you want it in I would have to think some gel or a can of hairspray would also help to ensure it doesn't move or get messy. More or less, you need to have a kit with utensils like this in your locker ;)
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Hey. I'm 14/m, and I'm mildly worried that I'm becoming addicted to masturbation.
I got into it slowly, and soon found myself in a rhythm of masturbating once every other night. Is that too much?
Anyway, I masturbated last night and the night before, and now I'm feeling this incredible pull to do it again. I really don't want to get addicted. Might I be becoming addicted? Are there any negative health affects of masturbation?
Thanks. I rate. (link)
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You're a normal teenager with hormones and sexual urges. Masturbating once every other night or 2-3 times a day is normal. having urges to do it again are normal too.
The only thing that isn't normal is if all your time is taken up by it, you ignore your friends, life etc and it's all you want to do period. Right now what you are doing is healthy and normal and not an addictive thing in your case at all.
As long as you have a social life and activities that you do all the time and aren't just sitting at home doing this all day or being pre-occupied with only doing it you're fine and a normal teenage male.
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