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life
this weekend brought a really big shock for me. i found out that a couple of my friends that i think very highly of have gone as far as 3rd base (theyre 14-15) and then my best friend ever whom i look up to has tried pot (didnt like it) and got drunk at a party (shes 18)
now i'm not trying to force them to stop doing these things, its their life and their body, but it deeply disturbs and saddens me. i understand that this is very common behavior in high school (i'm homeschooled) but like the most smartest people i know have done that.
how do i deal with this? i just really have a hard time imagining them doing these things, its almost like its their alter egos. idk.
oh ya ps they arent lying about it... trust me on this.
any feedback would be mucho appreciated. if it helps the furthest i've gone was making out
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Maybe give some free advice about: Etiquette?
It IS their alter egos. It's called "peer pressure" and regardless of 13 or 18, teenagers want to "fit in."
Your friend tried pot, due to the peer pressure and curiosity, but didn't like it-- so hopefully will refuse it on next offer instead of smoking due to the "peer pressure."
And the getting drunk is the same as I just mentioned.
For you to be able to deal with this, you will have to speak up and speak your mind just exactly as you did here in your question.
Tell your friend(s) that although you know that it's none of your business what they personally do and that it's their bodies and lives, it disturbs you just the same. You are concerned about them because you care, and drugs and alcohol are dangerous and addictive, let alone fatal when mixed. Pot and alcohol both will lower a person's inhibitions and cause them to act and do things that they normally wouldn't straight.
Once you've said your mind, you'll have peace of mind and of heart.
You've done your job as a friend, just like a friend that won't let another friend drive drunk.
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it can be surprising when smart people do that.. but really there is no real label for people who drink/smoke pot/go to 3rd. sure they could be losers going nowhere fast, but as you have already said this is not the case with your friends. if you think about it, it really isn't that bad... i mean what are you going to learn in 3 years that will make it so much more acceptable to get drunk. ... and pot is just illegal because it is used solely to get high (even though you can get drunk off of alcohol it can also be used in moderation) ... so its not like she is really harming her health /getting addicted since she didn't even like it. and with the 3rd base thing... kids are going to do what they want to- even if they might regret it later. chances are though, your friends were in good relationships and not just doing that with any random guy. i understand that you are concerned but truth is they'll all be fine... and if it gets to a dangerous point, just make sure you are there for them. it doesn't sound like they're trying to make you do anything though so just stay focused if you know that you want to avoid those things. but just keep in mind its not the end of the world! best of luck to you.
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Hey. There is really no way for you to convince your friends to stop. You can let them know that you care about them and worry about their health, but as you said, its there body, their life. I don't see any reason to not hang around these friends especially if you are good at avoiding situations. If your friends start pressuring you to have sex or get high then drop them, your young you don't need people like that slowing you down. Good luck ♥ fabulous
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You can present people with other options than doing something so destructive but you cannot force them to change or adopt your point of view. It is their life to do as they please and sooner or later they will learn either on their own or through life kicking them in the butt what they should and shouldn't do.
Don't judge them for this as we all learn on our own usually the hard way where such behaviors get people. As long as your friends are protecting themselves when it comes to sex they're okay. They haven't changed personality wise, but your perception of them has and that's what you need to deal with.
If you like these people continue to do so. You don't have to agree with their private lives and decisions or condone drug use. You just have to accept them for who they are apart from that and pass no judgment. It's hard at first but you can do it.
When it comes to sex think of it this way that everyone does it, it's normal and people start at different ages but what matters is whether they are mature enough to handle things and protect themselves.
These people aren't any different from anyone else who has sex regardless of age. Sure, they're too young but again you cannot force them to see it.
Obviously, your friend learned from the pot experience that it's not for him/her and never to touch this stuff again. We're all human and make mistakes. It's not for you to judge them for it or vice-versa them to judge you.
Everyone has their vices including you. If you like these people go on liking them and realize we all have flaws and hard lessons to learn. Life will always straighten them out and not you.
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hey, well your right on the part that you cant force them to stop. im actually really glad that you understand that because it would be bad if you tried controlling there lives by telling that what to do and what not to do. the most i would do is to tell them to be careful. dont act like a parent to them though. they need to learn from there mistakes and what they do in life all by themselves. i know how sad it is to see your friends like this and picture them in this bad behavior, but its best just to do what i said above and lay low. hopefully they will realize on there own that what there doing is so wrong. just please dont ever let them peer pressure you into doing anything of those things if you dont want to. i wish you luck.
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