about

I'm a qualified colour therapist and I'm doing a course in psychotherapy and councelling. i have the letters SNHS after my name which means i have a diploma from The School of Natual Health Sciences.
I have life experience in mental health, agoraphobia,bullying,parents divorce.


advice

ok here is the thing....
i went to my boyfriends house the other night and did somethings i have never done before and then he went and told his sister(my best friend) and then broke up with me....
what can i do to feel better about this and to get him not to be mad at me and to keep him talkin to me.....
i really like this guy alot........
so dont tell me to quit talkin to him
please and thank you.....
~kashia
:( i wish i could die

I know its not what you want to hear but he doesnt feel the same way. he is cruel and a user. you deserve better, alot better.
why is he mad at you? you did nothing wrong.
why do you want to be with someone who doesnt want you or like you, who used you, who was very cruel, who dumped you when he got what he wanted out of you?

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Okay my question might be kinda long but there is this guy in my grade and i really like him and we're like best friends.. he tells me that somedays he likes me and other days he doesnt and then one night he kissed me and he told me how much he liked me and now i just cant stop thinking about him and i just really like him but its summer and i dont think he feels the same way as i do anymore but i dont want to ask him like straight up if he still likes me or not but when my friend asked him if he still liked me he said he didnt know. I know that he's interested in other girls right now but it seems like when ever he's around me he really likes me a lot and only me.. I'm really confused and i need advice.. please help!

hello there, this website will help you out. it teklls you how to know if a guy likes you and how to ask your guy friend out.
http://amdo359.tripod.com/id2.html

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Ok Well My boyfriend and I have been together since May and now things between me and him are just getting boring but i dont wanta leave him because i really love him but I dont know what to do things are just so boring now should i tell him how i feel ... he might take it the wrong way
plz help

You need to go on some fun dates together, something you both enjoy. Try things you've done before or new things.
Here are some ideas; bowling, ice skating, roller skating (at a roller disco or something), crazy golf, go to a gig or concert, quad biking (that is REALLY fun), amuzement park, wall climbing, trampoling, nature walks, the zoo, factory tour like of a chocolate factory or rock factory (theres one in east yorkshire), go to the coast for the day, go to a festival.
Also pick up lots of leaflets of things to do in your area and get on the internet to have a look.
good luck x

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ok i got a boyfriend that i love with all my heart. we talk on the phone everynight.. we talk from 10:30 until 1 sometimes 3 in the mornin and when we talk we basically talk about nothin but i love doing it except my mom doesnt like. last night she took the phone away from me and wouldnt even let me say bye. and i need to figure out how i can still talk to him at that time of night without gettin in trouble?? it isnt because i dont i call waiting on my phone and i dont know why she complains.. it shouldnt bother her she is usually sleepin during that time.. and plus it is summer and i dont have school the next day.. i would like to know some way so that i can get the phone and talk to my boyfriend without gettin in trouble?? thanks.

Oh my mum used to get like that too when i was on the phone for hours. your mum could be worried about the phone bill - spending atleast 3 hours on the phone every night is going to leave a heafty bill. It could be that she doesnt want the phone blocking just incase someone rings like if theres an emergency, it could be because she wants you to go to sleep and not stay up all night.
if you have a mobile phone maybe you can talk on that, or you could text eachother. you could chat on the internet if you have it at home on a messanger thing like msn or yahoo.
or try to compromise with her, like you'll contribute towards the phone bill or you can call him 3 times a week and he calls you the other times, or you talk on the phone with your boyfriend earlier than 10:30, or you dont stay on the phone for hours, maybe an hour at the most.
try to compromise with her so you both get something out of it and keep you both happy.

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Okay I'm 14 and My fiance is 16. We are madly in love with each other it's known, we both know it. But the thing is right now he is in houston and im in vegas we havent seen each other in over 4 months.. okay anyways im question is we fight alot what can i do to make all the fighting stop? or for it to at least calm down some. I mean we talk every day and all sorts of things but we always seem to fight about something whether it be big or small

You are both so young, im not going to tell you that you got engaged too young or that you arent really in love because i know from personal experience that you can love at that age.
Your engagment is a sign of comitment, a huge comitment, and for it to work out and last forever which i know you really want then these fights have to stop.
You are both frustrated from being apart for so long and that can make you argue and get abit snappy with people but fighting as often as you do isnt good for your relationship. if it keeps happening then one of you will end up walking away because it gets too much.
Instead of arguing, talk things through rationaly and calmly just to keep tensions low and keep the peace. you dont need to shout at eachother and annoy eachother and make eachother angry, talk it through and come to a compromise, that way everyone happy.

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I'm having a party soon. Dose any one know any good truth and dare questions. I need more truth questions cause thats the one ppl pick more, and if we play dubble dare i need 2 part dares ThAnKs were 13 so ya know but some ppl will get naked!
I rate high!
(please nothing sexual!)

Ask if they've ever had a crush on a friends mum or dad. apparently at some point everyone has

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how to get popular girls to ask me to hang out. AND dont say you shouldnt hang out with them bc they are popular or stuff liek that.. its what i want

This website is written by the so-called most popular girl in school. it tells you how to be popular.
http://wiki.ehow.com/Be-Popular

Also take a look at this too.
http://wiki.ehow.com/Become-Popular-in-School

You dont have to do everything on the lists, some of the things are shallow. Dont change your self to make others like you, if they dont like you for who you are then they are shallow and not worth it. Also they'll see how fake you are.

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I have a very bad case of Arachnephobia. I've always been afraid of spiders, but it wasn't always like a phobia. (Phobia here is defined as an irrational fear that interferes with normal living). It started about a year or two ago, when after a shower, I was toweling off, and there was a large spider on my towel. I hated spiders, so I flung the towel across the room, and spend the next half hour curled up, crying. It scared me half to death. Then later, my cousins and I went to a park, and there was a profusion of spiders. My little cousin Andy loves spiders, so he pointed out every single one. They were each about 4-6 inches long. After about five minutes, I couldn't take it anymore. I hid in the car and cried. Things reached their worse when last month, I woke to find a strange bite on my arm. I figured it was just a bug bite, and ignored it. By noon that day, the area near the bite had swollen into a huge bump, about three inches long and one across, and at least a half inch high. I was feeling naseous, and terrified. I was so afraid that I refused to sleep in my bed that night.

Things have just gone down hill from there. Some nights, I won't sleep because I am afraid of the spiders. I check my blankets almost every night, and sometimes sleep in another room. I shake my towel out before using it. I check the shower and garage for spiders before entering. I know this is irrational and abnormal, but somehow I can't help it. What should I do?

Just remember your not the only one with an irrational fear, Yours actually is very rational and common. i do what you do, check for spiders when i enter a room, and look round the room alot too and check bedding and stuff.
Because your fear is so extreme you need some kind of therapy, which made sound scary but some can do wonders.
Theres one called "thought field therapy" which is really effective and millions of people are being cured of their phobias from it, it can take less that an hour to cure although in extreme cases may take quite a bit longer, depending on how many times you had it and how regular. also "emotional freedom techneque" is a good one, the good thing about that is you can learn to do it on your self so when you feel panic if u see a spider you can do this "tapping" therapy on your self and feel better.
have a look on the internet for thought field therapy" and ""emotional freedom techneque" therapists in your area.
i had thought field therapy and that helped so much in less that a few hours x

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My little sister is turning 16, and I want to get her a cool present. She doesn't like clothes, or perfume, or most typically girly things. What she really likes is anime and anything cute and cuddly. She also loves video games.

I've been considering getting her either a How-to-Draw reference book or a J-pop/J-rock cd.

Any ideas for a good present?

have a look on www.iwantoneofthose.com it has loads of cool gifts and gadgets

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OK I like this Boy and hes really nice we used to be boyfriend and girlfriend then someone came up and he didnt like me any more(this was a while ago)then two days a go i found somone else i like and now i cant deside who to like.Well schools starting soon so my qustion is should i like one of the two guys i was talking about befor or wait till school starts to meet new guys?



From,
Big Flirt

in those two choices i'd say the new person because your ex hurt you and is shallow for going off you just because someone else came along.
You can wait till the new guys come along at school but does that automaticly mean you will go off the guy you like now?
why do you NEED to like someone anyway? sorry if that sounds harse but from your question it sounds like you feel there has to be someone you like.

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Hi, I have a friend that is moving, and she really liked the kid i was going out with then. He told me that she was really annoying him so he told me that he was going to go out with him until she moved and then go back out with me. Somehow, she found out and got wicked mad at him so dumped him and he told me that he didnt want to og back out with me. I still like him even though he lied to me but I dont know if he stll likes me because i got a little mad at him after he told me he didnt want to go back out wiht me.

I need advice!

You've done nothing wrong here sweetie, your ex boyfriend was horrible, dont waste your time on him.
look at it this way, your boyfriend got together with another girl while he is still with you. he hurt you badly, he's a cheat, a liar, a user.
He doesnt sound like boyfriend material does he?
Even if this girl was annoying him, he wouldnt go out with her, especially when he has a girlfriend if he was a decent guy and if he had any feelings or respect for you.
I know its hard because you like him but he's not worth your time or tears sweetie, move on from him and wait till someone who loves you and respects you comes along. you deserve better x

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i know this might sound kind of stupid, but what do you do to get certain guys to notice you? please help!

Be your self. It is important that you don't act differently around your guy because he will see right through it and think you are fake.

Be happy. If you smile you will look more approachable and friendly. He wont want to be with someone who looks unhappy all the time. Also when your with your mates and he's with his, flash him a nice flirty smile.

Give him compliments. Guys get insecure about themselves just as much as us girls so he'll love it when you boost his confidence now and then.

Find out what kinda stuff he is into. Then do some secret research on it. he'll think its cool that you like the same cool band as him or his fave movie. Don't go overboard though, if you have Everything in common with him it'll soon get boring.

Laugh at his jokes, even the bad ones. not hysterically though or he might twig what you're up to.

When you are chatting to him, gently touch him on the arm in a sweet flirty way.

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Ok, me and my boyfriend Cory have been going out for 9 months. Well, there is this girl named Stephanie who has been hitting and flirting with my boyfriend ever since we started going out. I have always hated this girl, so it makes the situation worse. She'd do it in my face, wherever.. she doesnt care. Once, i saw her, her friend, and Cory at this baseball field playing baseball with some younger kids and i got pretty mad about it. I forgave him and we went on with our relationship. He always compares me with her, like ill do something, and hell say, "Stephanie wouldnt do that!" then i get pissy, and he goes im sorry baby, im sorry blah blah blah... well, yesterday he was here, and i havent seen him for about a week, so i was talkin 2 him and he jus wanted to watch tv. Then left 20 minutes after he got here because I was being annoying. Well, now, i just learned that him, Stephanie, another girl, and another boy are at this other boys house. It really pisses me off because he is controlling, and I wasnt allowed to go to my friends house (a boys house), because he doesnt like the boy. So i said fine, i wont go. I really think hes cheating because he lets her flirt in my face and hes been acting really strange around me. So, do you think hes cheating? SHould i give him another chance? Should i call him? idk what to do because i dont want to overreact and i dont want to throw away a 9 month relationship! I would want to sit and talk with him but im scared he will hurt me physically and i dont want to lose him, im 14 and hes 15... what should i do??

You need to move on from him, i know its hard when you love him but he obviously doesnt feel the same way.
He has no respect for you, he wont spend alot of time with you, he tells you your annoying, he is flirty and lets stephanie flirt with him without any thought of your feelings, he compares you to this girl. he upsets you and makes you feel bad and stressed out and upset.
When you look at it like that you can see that he isnt boyfriend material.
Your relationship wont last and you wont be ogether forever.
dont waste your time and tears on him sweetie because he really isnt worth it. you deserve better, it sounds like you have a lot of love to give so wait for someone special and who loves you and feels the same way as you do.
End your relationship with your cruel boyfriend and move on.
Good luck x

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Well Its always been my dream to make a cd and have it in stores and like all that stuff! well I have gotten this offer and I can get this thing its like a record deal.. you make a cd and everything and it goes in stores ALL over the world.. but its just to see how many people will like you.. and id make about $7,000.. which is like nothing.. but if alot of people got my cd.. Id get an actualy record deal and more money.. so my question is.. Should I go for that or should I just make a demo and send it to a bunch of record lables and then try to get signed by a big record lable?

please and thanks
maddie

In my opionion it sounds like it could be a scam. There are alot out there and your at a vunerable age. Is it a company that offerd you this? who ever has made this offer, check them out on the internet and find out as much information as you can. also, read very carefuly through the contract and get a lawyer to aswell, they'll be able to suss out if its a good deal or not.
I'm guess this company or whoever wants your money first, be very wary of that because if it is a scam they'll take your money and run. Check out that their phone number and address is genuine too.
I hope it all works out for you x

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hi
i am 16/f/uk
i used to cut last yr then i stopped cos things got a bit better in my life
but since about feb this yr i ave bn really depressed i cry my self to sleep every nite i ave started to cut again over the most stupid things. i cant find another way to let it all out. its like an addiction, when i get angry or upset i have an urge to cut.
my parents ave split up n i wanna be with my best boy mate hu is leavin to live in aussie and i wanna tell him how i feel i also hate the way i look i am over weight i have spots and i am just so low at the moment i dont want to see any doctors i just want some one to listen and not judge me
can some one tell me why im feeling and doing these things?
sorry its so long

Ok sweetie, you might not believe it but you are astrong person, the strength is somewhere inside you because you stopped cutting yourself before. you just need to find the courage to do that again.
If you go to college, they should have councellors or therapists there, and they are free, i know you might not want to go and see them but i highly reccomend that you do because they will help you. i had counceeling at college and they boosted my confidence and made me feel so much better about myself. just try it sweetie.
Also, you really need to stop hurting yourself, you'll be left with ugly scars...pysical and mantal scars. if its the blood that makes you feel better then use red paint on your wrist or even fake blood. i used this cream that had strawberry extracts in that looked like cuts when you put it on, it really helped me and psycholgists reccomend you do the red paint thing too.
I hope you start to get help and feel better soon x

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there are these girls in my school and they bully me to often.It is interfering with my grades.help!

try not to spend anytime alone.
Tell a really nice teacher, someone who is easy to talk to and tell the head of year or head teacher. It's their job to help you so explain to them that you are being badly bullied and something needs to be done because it is affecting your life and school work and making you scared to come to school.
Also, keep a diary of everything that is being said and done to you with dates and times, it could just be a rough time of day, morning break or period 3 for example. then if they bullying hasnt died down, take the diary to the teachers again.
have a look at these websites, you might find them helpful, The first one is the best one, it tells you how to deal with bullies in certain places.
http://www.bullystoppers.com/
http://www.bullying.newham.net/
http://www.bullying.co.uk/children/pupil_advice.htm



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hello. before i can ask my question, which i really, really do want answered, you might need sme background information.

background information: i'm fifteen. two years ago, i was borderline anorexic. (three pounds to go.) i 'got over it' myself. i no longer feel guilty eating food, unless it is in front of people who know my past. but i still have lingering depression, i think, or maybe i just make it up.

and this is my question. how do i know if yi'm really sad or if i just THINK that i'm sad? how do i know if it's ok to give myself a compliment? how do i know if it's okay to move on? can people see that i've changed, how i've changed? do people love me? how cna i relax?

ok sweetie, im not sure if im the best person to answer this question as i have an eating disorder myself and trying to eat more but find it hard, you have done realy well though to get over it.
Maybe councelling would help you to get more confidence in yourself and your eating, you shouldnt feel guilty for eating, especially when your with people who know your past, you are just showing them that you are a strong person and that you are better and how much courage and will power you have, that is nothing to be ashamed of at all.
Giving your self compliments and focusing on the positives will boost your confidence and make you feel happier.
It is very OK for you to move on, you've got over an eating disorder which i know is so hard to do, councelling will help you to move on. your doctor can reccomend you to a counceller which will mean you wont have to pay. Also school and college councellers are free. My college councelling helped me alot with my confidence.
I wish you all the luck in the world, you are so strong and deserve it x

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I am overweight and I want to lose about 20 pounds. I've tried dieting and I just can't do it. I try to excercise but I forget sometimes. Does anyone have suggestions of what I can do? I'm hoping to lose it this summer too. I'm 13/f.

I dont agree with cutting all fat out of your diet, if your body has no fat, you get really ill.
Instead, eat a healthy balanced diet.
Walk where ever poosible instead of takeing the bus or going in the car. take stairs instead of lifts.
Be active in you P.E lessons and do your best.
Play out with your friends, play football and sports in street or local park. have running races with your friends or just yourself. just be active.

this website gives you alot of info and help on how to lose weight safely. it is especially designed for teenagers so please check it out and get safe advice x

http://kidshealth.org/teen/food_fitness/dieting/lose_weight_safely.html

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i feel that i am progressing to the point of an eating disorder. i hardly eat breakfast lunch and dinner. i snack on a little bit of cheese nips and water everyday. i usually do 200 sit ups a night but sometimes i do less but never less than 100. i am noticing i am getting very tired latley also could that be becsaue i am not eating what i usually eat. i just hate how people think only the really skinny girls are attrctive and love their bodies. i just want to make people look at me like that. i am not fat i just have like a tummy, i mean its not huge, but i am average maybe alittle below. i have tremendous boobs which do not even fit my body they ar elike bigger then my head. i just hate the way i look, i have pretty much given up on eating and i have been very attitudish latley and i cant take crap form anyone. i jsut dont know what to do, does anyone have any advice that well make me look better or feel better about myslef and my body, i jsut hate not being skinny enough and ji cant wear tanktops becasue of mt DDD boobs which look retarted when i wear one becasue it goes from a huge chest a small body and it looks retared like i got reductions and i didnt i am so depressed i do not no what to do with myself!!!! can someone give me advice i think i need help????

Sweetie, you have to eat more, eat a balanced diet, seriously. i have an eating disorder and i hardly eat and that has caused my body to become weak and ill and im pretty much housebound. You really have to eat before you end up like i did.
Also guys dont like really skinny girls, really skinny isnt attractive. Just look at charlotte church, she's curvy, she has an amazing body. it's much more attractive than someone like victoria beckhams body.

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Sometimes I feel like I'm being really rude to people, but I never know. When I say hello, it's kind of under my breath but I smile and I wave to whoever said hello to me. Sometimes someone will say hello when I'm out biking and I'm not sure if someone said hello to me or to someone else on the street, so I only turn and smile. I realized this at the supermarket when someone I didn't like too much said hi to me, and I said hi under my breath and gave a little wave. They moved by quickly, so it looked like I was waving over my shoulder. I want to seem less rude, but how? Am I even being rude?

Personally, i don't think you are being rude. You are acknowledging when someone says hello to you, your smile and wave. thats polite and friendly :-)

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