deathwillcome's advice column

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Q: For this site, how do you get your own background colours and stuff like that??

look at the side bar with all of the options and thins, now look under Miscellanious, and click on help/FAQ. you can look at the questions and that question is there. They give you a site that has a bunch of different backgrownds. I hope I helped, and remember, my inbox is always open. Please rate, you don't have to if you don't want to.

Q: okay i like this kid who just moved in across the street from my friend.. i've been going to her house lately and we've been hanging out with the kid that i like.well i was talking to him last night and he was like i like katherine( my friend) and i didn't know what to say and then he was like what would she say if i asked her out and i told him she didn't like him cuz she didn't but now i think they're gunna go out but now he doesnt know if he likes her and i just came outta the blue and told him i liked him and he didn't say anything..i wanna ask him if he likes me even just a little and if he would ever go out with me but i dont want katherine to find out i like him so should i just tell him i like him and that i want a chance and how do i tell him? or do i just keep my mouth shut?

I definately don't know the situation, but I think that you should talk to your friend. If she is your friend she will understand, espesialy since you said that she doesn't even like him, or did I read it wrong? Anyway, then you should ask him, you have the right to know. But don't just walk up to him and ask, he won't answer or say no. You need to get some clues first. Flirt with him a little, and see if he flirts back. It might work if you have a close friend start talkin to him,(make sure it is a boy, soy he doesn't fall in love with someone like your "other" friend.) and have them bring you into the conversation, kinda like: "I kinda think that (Your name) is cute, what about you?" or somethin like that. It might be easyer to ask him steght out, but most people don't like to ask, and have to face the humiliation. I sure wouldn't. I hope I helped, and remember that my inbox is always open. Please rate so I can tell how much I helped you! (you don't have to if you don't want to.)

Q: so theres this boy at my old school and we were like best friends and then his weird girlfriends always got in our way so he pushed me off. so i gave him the cold shoulder. then he calls me and asked me if he could go out with my (old)bestfriend and i guess they were talking behind my back and it really pissed me off. so i started balling on the phone and just hung up. then we started talking again and im over him but he was crushing on me. and now he has this new girl and i havent talked to him for like 2 months. he has totally forgot me. what should i do?

This boy sounds like a total blow off. Just ignore him and if he comes back and wonders why youu are ignoin him, don't stop, and soon he will come back. Tell him that you are over him, and that if he can't even give you a little bit to talk to him then he doesn't deserve to be in your presence. Maybe not in those words, but I think you get the picture. I hope I helped, and remember, my inbox is always open. Don't forget to rate.

Q: i kinda have a crush on two guys and both of them like me.. and i hang out with both of thema nd flirt with them. and my friends tld them both i like them and i feel like i'm leading them both on. they're two entirely different people too, but i'm attracted to both of them,eve though i don't realy know them. what should i do?

Normally I would say, just pick the one that would fits you the most.But in this case, you said that you don't know them very well, or at least that's what I got out of it. So this is what I'm goin to say, get to know them a lot better, then, if it is too close, don't pick. It is not worth loosin both friends just to have a boyfriend. If you pick one, the other one will not "trust" you any longer. The one that you picked will be close to you until you break up or become distant.So either way it is your call, but I hope that you take my advise. I hope I helped, and remember, my inbox is always open. Don't forget to rate.

Q: my boyfriend and i currently broke up we were going out for about 3/4 months we broke up and he said he didn't want a gf. A few weeks l8er i guess he changed his mind he said he really liked this other gurl and that he didn't think that me and him would go out 4 a while. What can i do 2 get back at him? i already have a boyfriend but is there anything i can do? Like 2 get him 2 like me again? P.S. hes never online and he wont answer my e-mails! plez help

Don't do it! He dumped you claimin that he didn't want a relasionship and then chasnged his mind a little too fast if you ask me. It almost sounds like he broke up so that he could go out with someone else. Don't totaly go on what I say, mostly because I'm not him, so don't obvously know why he did what he did. What I would do is if you know where he lives, aproach him and ask him why he changed his mind soo fast. If he says that he didn't want to hurt your feelins, give him a break, that is hard for boys. they can't really break it off without hurtin us, that is a proven fact. I hope I helped you get through this, and remember, my inbox is always open. Don' forget to rate.

Q: I was wondering if anyone could give me the links to any (or as many) of these songs. Please. Or a website where to look. I'd prefer links though. But whatever works! :)

1. Two become one - spice girls
2. You know what they do to guys like us in Prison -My Chemical Romance
3. I will remember you -Sarah McLachlen
4.Swing life away by rise against.
5.girl - destiny's child
6."Best Friends" by Missy Elliot
7.use my shoulder - jojo
8. My Best Friend-Tim McGraw
9. Kryptonite-3 doors down
10. Ill back you up-Dave Mathews Band
11.Best Friend- S club 7

go to google and type in the name of the song.
I hope I helped, and remember, my inbox is always open.

Q: their is this gurl that i met on the internet and i think i rlly love her im 13 and she 25 but she thinks im 21 she says she really loves me but we are supose to meet in a few days n i duno what 2 do if she rlly loves me it shouldnt matter that im like 13 right? plz help me.

Don't even think about it buster! Now think about it! How easy was it for you to lie on the computer, so easy do think it was for "her" to lie. What if "she" is actaully a he or is like 40 or something? All I'm sayin is don't go to meet "her" It wouldn't be a good idea anyways, she is twice your age! She will be fifty when you are in you 20's. UUUUHHHHGGG! Sorry if I sound rude, I don't meen to be! I just don't think it sounds like a good idea. I hope I helped, ana remember, my inbox is always open. Don't forget to rate!

Q: i met this guy dj we went out for about 7months..we broke up 3times..i didnt do anything serious with him (but thats besides the point)when we went out i was really happy when i was with him..but the second time we broke up he went out with this girl Moriah...me and dj stoped talking when they went out because she would get mad and i didnt want to mess up there relationship..cause i guess im a nice person like that lol..but when they broke up we started to talk again..me and dj ended up hooking back up...but i always had this feeling that he still wanted to be with Moriah...dj and i went out for about a month...and in that month of time i met this guy brian..and i started to like him..i cheated on dj with him..i told dj about it and we broke up..and i hooked up with biran...dj hoked back up with moriah..so me and dj didnt really talk...me and brian been together for almost 9months now..and just a few days ago dj and i started talking again..and i think i like dj again i mean all my feeling for him are coming back to me..i still like brian..i think i have mixed feelings...what do i do??...
sorry if this is hard to understand..i tried to explain it the best i can..
---im a 15 female--

Okay, if my answer doesn't make sence, just tell me in my inbox and I will reword it. Okay, here it goes.

Okay, so first you need to figure out which one has made you feel most comfortable, and happy. Now if you pick the other one you will have to deal with that, because I'm pritty sure that you and DJ are gettin tired of the switchin back and forth.

Second you have to do the aproach of the boy.(Tellin the boy what you chose.) Now, you don't want to hurt his feelins so, Walk up with a smile and say that you have been thinkin about it and you just want to be friends from now on.

Last but not least, you need to be happy. You can't always pick the right one, you just have to learn that it might happen. The thing you can do to have a better relasionship is:1. Always tell him how you feel, the only way you can have happyness is if you are truthful with each other.(No Secrets!!!)2. Never give up! Just because things might look hard and frusteratin, don't get down. Comunicate with your "partner", (If you want to be so formal as that!LOL!)you don't want any misunderstandins. 4.Try to keep your boyfriend happy. The number one rule of a relasionship is that if your boy/girlfrind is not happy, you're not happy.

I know that this was a long one, and I'm sorry for that, I just wanted to help. If it was too long, please tell me. I hope that I helped, and remember, my inbox is always open. Don't forget to rate.

Q: Ok, there is this guy that I like. My friend found out that he liked me too. He was mad about me knowing I liked him. I told him it wasn't a big deal because I like him too. So now we both know about our 'secret' crushes. It's just weird because he was acting different. I don't want to ask him out right now though because I'm going on vacation Sun. and I won't get to talk to him. So don't tell me to just ask him out. Does anyone know why he's acting different? Or what to do in a situation like this?

Thanks!

p.s. I'm 13/f.

Now that he knows that you have a crush on him, he is probably acting diferent because he wanted to impress you. Now all you have to do is make sure that you don't turn him off. Don't get to close, let him do it in his own time. That will make him feel more comfertable. Talk to some of his close friends about what he is saying, just try not to make him run away. I hope I helped, and remember, my inbox is always open. Please rate.

Q: ok there is this guy on myspace thats wants me to hang out with him. i don't know if i should. i know my mother wouldn't agree with it, so what should i do?? is it good to meet someone from online??

Definately not! He could be some weird dude that is like 40 or someting. He could even be a she! I wouldn't do it and I hope that you don't either. Too many bad things could happen. Never meet someone off line.I hope I helped, and remember, my inbox is always open. Please rate.

Q: my boyfriends sister is tryin to kill herself bc her used to be boyfriend cheated on her and used her for sex and in the end she found otu he is engaged to one of her friends and she has been wit him 4 about 5 months and noe since it is over she has been puttin neddles in herself and takin pills i have tryed talkin to her and told her to stop and that she is hurtin all the people around her but she still wont stop she says it is makin her happy. someone please help me stop her.. i dont know what to do anymore. i ran out of advice to give her so i need ur guys help.

Why don't you E-mail me and we can talk abouth this more like a conversation, don't wory, you don't have to give me any information. My E-mail is death_will_come92@hotmail.com but you have to promise me you won't give it to anyone else, and you will throw it away. okay I'll be waiting!
:)

Q: i met this rele hot kid on buddypic. and i talked to him for a while. hes rele cute, nice, funny, hot, blah blah blah. but he hasnt been online and he hasnt replied to n e thing on buddypic. whta would u suggest is his reasoning?

Now, don't take this wrong, but maybe he thinks you aren't right for him. But most likely he is just busi. If he doesn't reply to anything for a week or so linger then find someone else. It will be good for you. Maybe he just wants some space. The last thing that you send him should say that you are going to talk to other people, and if he answers you will know what he wants.I hope I helped, and remember, my inbox is always open. Please rate.

Q: I'm 16 and going to be a junior in high school next fall. I go to a vocational school so I have shop every other week, all day long. I've just started having a crush on my friend who is in my shop. I like him so much, it's crazy. He likes me too. We talk on the phone a lot and I really want a relationship with him but I'm afraid that in the end our relationship won'w work out and we wont talk anymore. I would never ever want that to happen because hes such a great friend. I really have no idea what to do. Please help me out. Thanks in advance.

This the hardest situation, but the thing is, I can't tell you what to do, I can only help. Now I hate to admit that I am going through the same thing right now. Now what I can tell you is that you need to think to yourself as long as you need, but not too long, you don't want to loose him. Another thing that you need to realize is that if you and him split up, (that is if you get together with him) it will be hard for you two to become friends again. Now that isn't the sure-fire reason not to see him. That is just one reason not to. Anyway, no one can tell you what to do, because this will change your life forever. I hope I helped, and remember, my inbox is always open. Please rate.

Q: I think I like my guy best friend. We used to have a relationship, but we broke it off (this was 2 years ago)... I know for a fact he doesn't like me (I asked who he liked, and he told me he liked my one friend who doesn't like him)... my friends think he likes me, and it does seem like it.. but I guess not.

One thing I'm thinking about is moving on, but I don't particularly want to do that. Any other ideas?

Not really, you see? The best thing you could do is to move on. If you don't you will start havin problems. If you move on then you can get on with life and if he changes his mind then, maybe, you can think about it, but other than that, just move on. If I sound rude, please don't take it that way. I hope I helped, and remember, my inbox is always open. Please rate.

Q: hey well i get hot in the car and when i do i freak out and my mom is trying to talk to me when i am freaked out and i get all mad at her and she dont talk to me...she wants to take me to our phycologist and i dont want to.. what do i have?? is this a mental problem??

You definately don't have a mental problem, but I would go to the Phsyc. Just to make your mom happy, and then she will believe you when you say nothing is wrong. I had the chance, and I blew it. Now I always want to go and have problems. I hope that you can sort this out. I hope that I helped, and remember, my inbox is always open. Please rate.

Q: Does anybody know the lyrics to right here waiting by stained? Or like a link to where i can find it-thanks

Type in the name of the song on google and it should come up. if not type in "Lyrics for Right Here Waiting" I hoped I helped. And remember that my inbox is always open. Please rate!

Q: OK..I ALWAYS go to bed late. If I try to go to bed early, i still don't go to bed until about
3-4AM. I've tried not to stay on the computer and tried to clear my mind and everything and i still cant sleep. After that i have a tendancy to wake up a tiny bit late (10-11 AM)..And i mean a couple times i may get to bed if I'm lucky around 1AM..i dont know what to do and my mom just thinks that i stay up on purpose so she doesnt wanna help me..what do you thinks wrong?? is there anything to prevent this from happening anymore?? thanks!!!

You know, I go through the same thing, and I think that it is just stess. Are you goin through a lot? I sure am. And on top of that your parents don't help right? Yep, me too. Well, I think that if you relax a little, and try to clear your mind a diferant way,like with music or writin in a diary. Since I am goin through the same thing, I don't think that I can help a whole lot. I hope I did a little. And remember, my inbox is always open. Please rate, so that I can do my best.

Q: Ok, this is starting to bug me, I know that in america we have free speech, but omg this draws the line, STOP WHINING! I know that some of you advicenators dont deserve this, because your problems ARE real, but i have just read a "problem" about a sister who is being "too bossy," im sorry, but this screams 9 YEARS OLD all over it. Please, do not post such petty problems, you just sound blatanly stupid.
Once again, my apolagies to the people on here who actually do have a problem, and I would LOVE to help you, but to all you WHINERS out there, please just leave the problem be.

Well, frankly I think that remark was "blantly stupid" You know that you are just doing what you just complained about? You know what, if you can't answer problems without havin your own, get your own D*** site. We are here to give advise, and that is what I will do, but you on the other hand, should get off, or get a life. Either way, it is a win win situation. And as for the last remark, "Just leave the problem be..." Why don't you? If you don't like it then that's your prob. That's all I have to say.

Q: So theres this guy... he lives down the street from me. We're basically good for each other, I hear that a lot. He's a football player, I'm on the dance team, we always do the same things accidently, he's cute, I'm cute lol jk. Anyways he's come over a few nights, snuck out on a couple of them and we've kissed and cuddled and I loved it. We've never gone farther than that because I'm scared of getting attatched and hurt. He knows I like him, but I'm not sure he's feels the same. I don't want to be used.. It has happened too much to me (my boobs are big... naturally! and guys like them.. but i hate em). Once I start trusting him, it seems like he kind of pulls away. Ive talked to him about it but he never really says exactly he likes me or he doesnt. I think which him being popular he doesnt want to be a really sweet guy or anything around his friends.. I understand that though. It's fine. But it seems like he's only "with me" when it's good for him. When he's at a party with me or when he's at his house and calls me. But if I want to hang out.. its a bit different. He's not as into me as I'm into him. But I dont want to be into him. I dont want to get hurt :( I'm a hopeless romantic tho. If he did something sweet to show that he really liked me, i'd be his, no questions asked. I'm confused! please help

If you like and turst him so much than you should approach him with your problems. Tell him how you feel. Make sure he understands, so that there is no miss understanding. That would be a desaster! Ask him if he has a problem with getting close, and don't rush it if he decides to get together. Rushing is a real turn of for guys. But all in all, relasionships can only work out if both sides comunicate. I hope I helped, and remember, my inbox is always open. Please rate!

Q: What are some signs of breast development?

When your braests hurt, they are growing. But sometimes you cant tell. So when they are larger, they grew. LOL! I hope I helped, and remember, my inbox is always open. Please rate!

bio

Ok, so I haven't been on in a while and I'm just starting to get back to where I can give advice again. I had a rough spot there and I just couldn't give advice without seeming rude, so I decided to take a break. My real name is Shannon and I live in Utah. I am 15 and I love animals and friends. I love to act and know a bit about those kinds of things. I would love to help you out and hope that I can. But there is one thing, you have to ask a question for me to answer! Just kidding. Hope you have a great day!