Hey my names Chrissabelle and I love giving advice. I always have. Most of my friends call me Chrissie but really like to be called anything. Well... :p I really would like to be a psycologist when I get older. I love listening to other people, I've always been a good listener and I love to help people to the best of my abilities. I love being with family, hanging out with friends, ice skating, and tennis. I also love to laugh and have fun. Who doesn't? Honestly I just am a really happy person although I can come off really serious to people who don't know me which really sucks. I haven't been answering advice for a few weeks because of numerous reasons but now I'm back and so glad to be able to help everyone again. I really hope I can guys =) That's about it so ask me anything, anytime you need advice and I'll try to help you as best I can!
Gender: Female
Location: U.S.
Occupation: Student
Age: 16
AIM: cpurple37
Member Since: January 24, 2007
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Last Update: September 4, 2008
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After 3 years in a relationship (2 of these living together), my boyfriend and I (we are 21 y.o.) broke up on good terms. I initiated the break up. We had been best friends for over 5 years at the time of break up but we agreed the relationship was not working and we were better off just as friends again. He said he still loved me and that he couldn't live without me in his life. I felt the same and we said we would try our best to maintain a friendship. He had no other good friends and neither did I.
For a couple of months we seemed to remain friends, but he became distant, making excuses not to see me and avoiding my calls, though denying he had found someone else (he is not the type to move on quickly, so I believe this is true). One day he said he was working, so I went to surprise him at work (some 30 minute drive out of town). He wasn't there and when I called him, he said he'd left already, but judging by the time of his txts to me, he must have lied about his whereabouts. I was angry and hurt, and decided to give him some space.
This morning, around 3 weeks after the above, I rang him and got a very cold reception. I couldn't believe this was my former best friend talking. The conversation ended abruptly when he had to go as someone had arrived at his house (an excuse, perhaps).
Here is where I need advice. I can accept losing him as a friend if that's what he wants, but I need closure from our relationship so that I can move on! But how do I get closure from someone who won't talk to me or see me? Is he likely to change his hostility toward me if I give him time?
Any suggestions would be hugely appreciated :)
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Hey. Well it sounds like it's been a rocky relationship which is totally normal, for it happens to everyone who gets too close. This may have happened to you guys no matter how amazing of friends you were. You may have said something to upset him and didn't even realize it as I'm sure he's said some things to upset you. He may be trying to avoid you because of this and so I would try talking to him. Since he won't talk to you, I would go to his house and at least tell him how you feel too so at least you can get some closure. Maybe, he's trying to avoid you because he feels that seperation would be better for your relationship and so he's gonna wait awhile. When he answered the phone coldy this may mean that he really wants you to ask him what's wrong and is hoping you can talk. I really hope this helped and good luck =)!
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Alright ive heard from my friends that one of my guy friends is gonna ask me out. I dont see him like that at all though, and i dont wanna go out with him but i feel so bad turning him down cause hes really nice and i dont want him to be mad at me for it. How can i let him down easy? (link)
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Hey. I would tell him that you really want to be friends with him but you feel that if you go out it will ruin your relationship. This will probably make him feel better and less hurt but I wouldn't do anything until it happens. Just be really nice to him (as I'm sure you already know) and stay friends. He will probably appreciate that you value his friendship. I really hope this helped and good luck! =)
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I really just need someone to talk to, my best friends mad at me and I sadly, have no one else to talk to. I'm under a world of stress. I don't know what to do. (link)
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Hey. Well first of all your friend may be hurt by something you did (that you may already know what it is) and you might not even know that it hurt her. If she's your best friend you should be able to talk to her and work things out. I'm sure she would understand. In the meantime, try talking to a parent or family member who would completely understand. You may not want to tell them why your friend is mad at you but they're your family and they would definitely understand. I would just talk to your friend though and who knows? In a week you may best friends again. I really hope this helped and good luck! =)
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My OLD best friend was the greatest for 3 years, or so I thought, I found out she lied and wasn't even my real friend for the first 2 years, and she does little things just to make herself feel better and me feel worse. This may seem kinda stupid and conseted but after being taken advantage of for 3 years it's a big thing/ But anyway, I realised she's really insecure, not that pretty or cool, and I'm MUCH prettier than her. SO after she told all these people lies about me I stoped being her friends, and made friends with my best friend in the world Meg, and we're so good together and we get along great but being friends with her and not my old friend has comprimised my friendships with a lot of my old friends. SO that makes me really sad, and now I'm becoming kind of popular I guess.. and this may seem great but I kind of feel like I'm becoming a snob and that my new friends aren't for real. PLUS with this new like I'm going to have to leave my old life in the dust, but I just don't think I can do that, but I CAN'T go back to my old life because I was SO mistreated. I can't help but feel torn and stuck in the middle... what should I do? (link)
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Hey. Well first of all, I think that's great that you found a new best friend. The "old best friend" probably is very insecure. If you still want to be with your old friends too though, then try calling them and talking to them. If they don't understand how you feel about your "old best friend" than I wouldn't try hanging out with them again either. It may hurt at first but what you have to do is figure out who your true friends are. Sometimes you have to give new friends time and this may be why your new friends don't feel "real yet". Who knows? You may become best friends with all of them if you give it time. You're probably not being snobby either because there's no such thing as "popular". Everyone hangs out with a different group and there's so many groups that their can't be a definition. If you like these new friends and can be yourself, stick with them. If not find new friends who you can truly be yourself with. I really hope this helped and good luck! =)
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I am 29 yrs old. I dont have any friends.I have a wonderful boyfriend who is very outgoing and confident.Every now and then he says I need to make some friends. I cant. What do I do, call some girl up and say will you be my friend?? How cheesy. I go out with him where his friends hang out but no one engages conversation with me.They do for a minute then go. I am an attractive person that is not the problem. But how does someone who was abused as a child, not allowed to have friends, phonecalls or sleepovers, and a 10 year marriage where I was not allowed to work or have friends, change and get friendships. It seems so out of reach for me.Help!!! (link)
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Hey. Well first of all I want to say that that's amazing you have a wonderful new boyfriend after all you've been through. You're probably such a wonderful person who didn't deserve any of that to happen to you. You may be a little insecure which is completely not your fault. Remember when you're talking to people what a great person you are who just wants to make some new friends and are so deserving of them. This may help you to be more outgoing (I know it would help me) and people may start a very good conversation with you. You could become good friends. Who knows? These people may not show it but they may want to be good friends with you and once you get the ball rolling, who knows, you could have a new best friend. I really hope this helped! =)
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i'm doing some writing and i need some examples of small talk people would make if they just met each other. any ideas?
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Hey. Well maybe you can have the people discussing a new outfit they just got, or their favorite place to go with their friends on the weekands. They can discuss a similair coffee shop they both like down the road, or a favorite vacation spot. A lot of times things people have is common is a good type of small talk. I really hope this helped =)! And good luck with your writing (I love to write)!
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My friend always ditches me.
& today she wrote this hugeeee apology.
I don't feel like i should forgive her, if shes always done it & said the same thing before.
What should i do? (link)
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Hey. If this friend of your always ditches you than she is Definitely Not a friend! I could see once, maybe twice even but if she always does this than she really doesn't care about your feelings and that's not a friend as I'm sure you know. She probably does this to other people too so I wouldn't feel too bad about it. The apologie note is just part of her "little games" which sounds very immature. I wouldn't say anything mean to her or even act like you care which may hurt but will work out better in the long run. Just try to stay as far away from this girl as possible and don't make plans anymore. Be friendly, but stay far, far away. I really hope this helped and good luck =)
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hey, I'm having my 16th birthday party soon and i need to know of some ideas of what to do at it. i have music and ddr, but i cant think of anything else. any ideas would be GREAT!
by the way, it will be at my house.
thanks
x0
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Hey! I know I can't wait till my 16th next year! But anyways, here are some ideas. You could have a theme such as a formal party, a costume party, a luau, a western party, etc. Some of these may sound a little goofy but I think it would be really fun! Also, you can use a video camera and make videos at the party to watch later. Or... you can make a video with a ton of pictures of you and your friends and show it at the party. Also, you can have raffles for prizes to make the party more fun! I really hope this helped and I hope you have a great time!
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Alright, there is this girl at school(Let'scall her Olivia), and she is REALLY REALLY annoying...if you walk faster than her, she;ll start saying in a whiny voice "Hey, wait, wait for me!" or something, and she cuses a lot, she flips people off, and one day, when I came into school late, she tried to hug me, but I was like 'I don't want to hug, but it's great to see you!' and then my friend calley came up and hugged me and I hugged her back. And yet Olivia honestly won't take a hint! Also, she;s one of those girls who won't stop doing something if you tell her to stop. Like, with another friend,Olivia wouldn't stop hitting her, now there is a place on me where you can hardly touch and it tickles and such. Well, she won't stop and I've told her too, but she won't. It's on my last nerve, what can I do to get her to leave me and my friends alone?(All my friends don't like her, and she is honestly like...a stalker because she'll follow you everywhere!) please, I really need some help. Thanks so much! (link)
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No no, don't be mean! That's horrible. I just meant try to get your point across that you don't want to hug all the time but still be nice. =)
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