about

HEYYY :D i'm in college and i'm a psychology major. i've had many experiences with boyfriends, crushes, friends and family. i know quite alot about sex and sex related issues, so feel free to ask me anything about that! i will be completely honest because i would want the same in return.

if you drop one in my inbox, please try to be as detailed as possible (like your age & gender) so i can be as helpful as possible :D

advice

I like this one boy in my class and every day we always smile at each other then stair into each others eyes and he always has a satisfied look on his face, do you think he likes me or did he just rip a fart? if you dont kno then can you please tell me how to tell if a boy likes you?

If you guys look at each other alot, stare & make good steady eye contact then there's definitely feelings involved. Don't worry about, sounds like he likes ya! Try flirting with him a little bit and see how things go. Don't rush anything though, stay calm & confident ..guys love that! hope i helped hun xo

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Okay so I met this guy (we are both 16) and we hit it off. spent like 10 hours together he was totally flirting holding hands cuddling and he would just stare at me and would always sit next to me and he tried to kiss me and such.. (it was a church retreat. We were helpers lol for the little kids) so at the end of the night when its time to leave he just left no good bye and didn’t ask for a number or anything! what does that mean? What happened?

Well, it might mean he was shy about asking you for your number and afraid to get rejected. Don't blame yourself though, because none of it was your fault, it was all his. If he doesn't plan to talk to you again or whatever, it's his loss. If you see him again, casually ask what's up and see how it goes from there. If you know you're not going to see him again, don't waste your time! You're young and you'll meet better guys hun. hope i helped xo good luck

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I have to give an oral presentation in fron otthe whole class, but I suck at public speaking. I start getting really red and then i start to shake and I stumble over words. Right now I am absolutly terrified at the thought of giving a speech. What can I do to overcome this fear?

Please dont give me an answer that says "you will fail everytime"

I had the same problem before, I hated speaking in front of the class. The best way to get over this, is to act like it's not a big deal at all. Practice in front of the mirror, in front of your family, anyone who you are comfortable with. Ask them how they think you did and you'll gain confidence each time. When you go up in front of the class, remember, you are not the only that has to do this! Take a deep breath, act like it's nothing, go right ahead and start. As soon as you know it, everything will be over and it won't seem like such a bid deal. hope i helped hun xo

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im a female 16 and me & my bf have been on & off for 2 years now we are long distance and it started out as a summer romance at the beach because my family spends the summer up there but turned into love. ok im madley in love with my boyfreind & when i talked to him the other day he said his freind came over and told him he should take this one girl he dated while we were seperated to the prom. i asked him if he was and he said he wasnt going to and he told his freind no but im kinda scared do you think hes still seeing this girl? do you think mabey he was hinting that he wanted to go to the prom and that mabey we should go? please tell me what you think.

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Additional info
(added Sunday May 08 2005, 1:34 pm. Additional information will not be displayed on your advice column.)
and if you ansewer you should go to prom with him well how how do i ask him really with out asking him flattly cuz im kinda scared just to come out and say it.

It seems like he's not seeing this girl. When you were on the phone with him, was he acting nervous/shady talking about this girl? If he was calm & cool about it then it means he's not interested in this girl. He might have been hinting about the prom, but let him take his time asking you. If you don't feel like waiting for him to ask you, just mention it to him. See if he wants to go to the prom and if he thinks it would be fun or whatever. Don't be obvious, just casual, you know? Long distance relationships are hard, I know! Good luck & hope everything works out hun xo

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Female,16
The guy i like is really shy about girls, hes never had a gf before, and we are really good friends. ive liked him a long time, and i figured it was just time to tell him. I guess he really had no clue.. yesterday i talk to him alone after school, and said you know i like you and he was silent scuffing his feet and half smiling and he said THANK YOU.. tell me what is that suppose to mean? thank yOU!? and then he said wow this really caught me off guard i i.. and his friend walked by and siad lets go, i need a ride home, so hes said well i guess ill talk to you later and left...do you think maybe he jsut didnt know what to say, usually he'd say oh well lets jsut be friend or somthing like that but he said thank you, and its such a neutral comment... plus most people i know think he likes me.. so do you think maybe he was jsut caught off guard and didnt know what to say or what?

He was probably a little caught off guard & you already said he was shy about the whole girl issue. He probably needs time to think about the whole thing. Don't pry [keep telling him & keep asking what he thinks] let him come to you when he is ready, trust me! He'll come around with a better reply than 'thank you' next time! If he doesn't say anything for a while about it than maybe you should move on cause you deserve a guy who will let you know exactly he feels. Hope it all works out hun xo

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I have this boyfriend and we've only been going out for bout a week but i feel so connected and comfortable with him but there's a problem, he smokes. He knows I don't like that he does it and that I want him to stop but he won't. My parents asked me if he does but i told them no and they'll kill me if they find out he does. And he wanted to kiss me today but everytime he tried to I backed off cuz he smelled like smoke. I want to know if there is any way that you can think of to make him stop, he said he's not stopping for a girl but i want to see if I can change that. If it helps i'm 14 and he's 15.

Ok, this is a difficult situation and I've been in it before with a boyfriend. If he respects you & cares about you, he will atleast stop smoking around you and before he hangs out with you. Ask him to do just that for you and see how he reacts. If he doesn't, than there is a big problem and it might be time to break up with him if he doesn't compromise. Explain to him that you care about him alot and it would be great if he stopped smoking but you'll settle for him to stop doing it around you & when you both are about to kiss! Let him know that it definitely isn't romantic kissing an ashtray! Hope it all works out hun xo

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I am interested in geting a 1999 Honda Prelude, my boyfriend has one, and its preal white, and I love it! I want to get one too, either in peral white, or black, maybe even that firey orangish red. Can someone please tell me the price for these? my boyfriends was I think $10,500 and it was used.

So Is that still the case? and how hard is it going to be to find one? I Know theyre arnt that many!

thanks so much in advance!
I'll Rate High, and Leave Feedback!

-Kels-

THANKS!

You can go to vehix.com, cars.com or any dealership/car name websites (honda.com) and try for it. Type in what amount you'll pay for it, color, year, etc. There are alot of used & new car website searches out there but I don't know many. Sorry & hope everything works out xo

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lets call the kids jack and jill.

so ive been babysitting jack and jill every other weekend. jill is really good and sweet but jack is not. now there mom wants me to watch them everyday in the summer. and i dont want to! im only 14 i have a life! but their mom is really pushy and in your face.

what should i do?

Tell her your summer is going to be busy and you won't be able to watch them every single day. I'm sure she'll understand. If she gets pushy, tell her that you'll be able to watch them a few times a week but that's all. If she starts to get all in your face about that, maybe it's time to quit that babysitting job & get another one. hope everything works out hun xo

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well i just got my period on friday (aobut 5 days ago) and i used these pads for a few days..but they are so long and fat in width! so then i went to the store and i got a thiner one width way but then its like really thick! and your can see it through my shorts that i have to wear for volleyball! are there any kinds or brands that i should know of that would work for my problem??? and i was wondering how long it normally takes a girl to learn to use a tampon..scince summer is coming up..i jus got a inground pool so all of my friends will be over here like 24/7! thxs so much!

Tampons are reallyy easy to use once your familiar with your body. Use slimmer ones when you start using them, because if you start out with the big ones - it won't be easy and it'll hurt! If you want to use pads right now though, go to the store and look through the pads. Read the back and see how big they look and which ones you think will fit you best. I use the brand Stayfree when I'm not using tampons, and they have all different sizes for all different kinds of girls. Hope it all works out hun xo

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I will first apologize to the moderators/administrators if this question is a little inappropriate, but I need some good honest feedback and opinions on this. If you are thinking of deleting, please let me get at least 5 feedbacks first thanks :). If I could target these toward specific group columnists, I would (instead of individually, I want a variety of answers). If you're 17 or younger, please avoid reading further.

I'm a 19/f and my boyfriend is a 20/m. For our upcoming third year anniversary, I want to do something special for him.

My question to you men and ladies is what is your definition of sexy, so I can take into consideration what I can plan out for our anniversary?

What I was thinking was lingerie and maybe a striptease/lapdance? Do you think that would be appealing to him? I've asked for his input and he just replies with "surprise me". I know he loves me in lingerie (formerly i wore a lacey black outfit with a garter belt and thigh highs). What should I opt for next, babydoll, gown, a slip...?

Does anyone else have any other good ideas? I want it to be romantic but passionate as well. Thanks in advance!

I get what your saying, since I am 18 and I planned a little anniversary surprise for my former boyfriend. Lingerie is ALWAYS a good option for an anniversary surprise! You're not gonna get a straight answer out of him of what he wants, guys are like that. Think to what he would like best. I would go for a sexy slip, and maybe even rent a fancy hotel room for the night. Good music and environment is a good plus, of course. Sorry if I couldn't help that much, I've only planned this kind of anniversary surprise once! But hope it all works out great xo

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*female* i had major cramps today i felt like i was gonna puke and i had several cases of *ahem* diarrhea *embaressed* is there anything i can do to get rid of this PAIN the next time it occurs? thank you so much please don't make fun of me i'm sure this happened to you atleast once in your life. if it hasn't, consider yourself the luckiest person on this site.

I have the WORST cramps too, so you are definitely not alone. I take 2 Motrin (or you can take 2 Tylenol) when I start to feel cramps coming and it works great. If you are at school when cramps start very bad, try to get your mind off it. Take medicine wherever you go so you have it whenever you start feeling pain. If your home, take the 2 pills (always 2 of either Motrin, Tylenol, etc. because 1 never works) eat hot soup or hot tea and take a nice nap. Any of this should help xo

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Is it a turnoff if a girl asks a guy out???

And can you like kinda clarify... i really need help... anyone... i rate high

Gomesy

I'm the only one saying its a turnoff! lol I think it's one because it shows the guy you're desperate. I've seen it happen and when the girl asks the guy out, he seems scared/mad and most likely says no all the time. Shy guys will do it soon enough if they really like you, trust me. I would never because it gives the guy the upper hand in the relationship. Hope it all works out tho hun xo

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ok theres this boy lets just call him johnny. well lately me and johnny have been talking and its like a friendship thing but lately as i have been talking to him i ve begun to like him as more than a friend but theres a problem earlier this month he had a crush on my cousin and see my cousin doesnt like him shes in a relationship and has been for 2 yrs. but johnny hints that he still likes her and i dont know if i could compete with her or if it would be alright for me to go out with him after him and my cousin have had some "history"
Can someone help me please!!

I think it would be fine for you to go out with him. They don't have any 'history' it seems because she never even liked him back & she's in a relationship. I don't see any problem! I would go for it hun, cause you never know what could happen ;] hope it all works out xo

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I want to dye my hair... not permanent, but not too temporary. I found a hair dye that's made by L'Oreal, called Color Pulse, that comes in a color that I would like for my hair. I have dark brown hair, and Color Pulse supposidly works on dark hair. It lasts for 8-10 shampoos, and also contains no peroxide or ammonia.

Has anyone used this before? What do you think? Is there anyother types of dyes that you would recommend in place of this? I am looking for a dark purpleish plumish type color, if that helps.

Thanks!

I've used it. My hair is dirty blonde and I tried the reddish kind. It looked really natural and stuff, but it washed out in 2 shampoos for me. I did it exactly as the directions, so I don't know how it would work for you.. If you don't like it or anything, it's not permanent so just give it a try but don't go too drastic! (dark brown to really blonde = bad idea) But your hair color and the hair color you want..it'll probably work out nice. xo

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my friend ran away from home because her dad hits her and no one would help her and now the cops are out looking for her but she's afraid of going back to her house because her dad hurts her a lot he's put her in the hospital a couple times. she asked me not tell anyone where she is but now she's been staying with a druggie so she's been doing drugs and i don't want to see her get caught up in that again. how can i help her?

She definitely needs help right now and you definitely need to tell an adult right away about your friend. You have to explain to this adult or the police that her dad has repeatedly hit her and that she is getting involved in dangerous things because of it. If you know where she is staying, you have to tell someone you trust. If you're asking for advice about this friend, you must care alot about her & thats really good but you have to get her help as soon as possible. She might be mad and feel betrayed by you but she'll thank you in the end, because you'll save her life. hope it all works out hun xo

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what is 420? i know it has to do with weed and ect but whats is 420?

It's the code in the police handbook or whatever they call it for a drug arrest. Code 420, ya know. So, on April 20th most highschool-college kids get high and show the police that they're 'cool' or they 'break the law' somehow. So, I'm pretty sure that's what it is.

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I have been going out with this one guy for a LONG TIME, but the problem is I've started liking somebody else. I like this other guy more than my boyfriend, but I'm not sure if this guy likes me. I don't want to just break up with my boyfriend for no reason, but I really like this other guy...Its so confusing me. What should I do?

First, find out if this other guy likes you. If he does, explain to your boyfriend that you started having feelings for someone else and maybe you two should be friends. If this other guy happens not to like you, stay with your boyfriend & see how things go, but if you're not happy with him..the single life is fun! xo

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Ok well there is this girl that i go to gymnastics with and she has been coming to gym with bruises and marks all over her legs. I've asked her many times to tell me what happend and she told me 'nothing!' and i keep asking her the same question and even the coaches ask her and one time the coach asked her if she fell and she said 'yes' but then she told me she lied to him! I think her parents might have abused her because shes very quiet and timid and if u tell her not 2 tell anyone, SHE WONT!(even my dad thinks so) I'm really scared for her so please help! How can i make her tell me the truth?

You have to explain to her that you are her friend and that she can tell you anything. If she is being abused, it should be reported immediately. Ask her if there are problems at home and if one of her parents hit her, she needs to tell someone about it. Usually children being abused think it's their fault when it's really not. Tell her it's not her fault at all and she needs to tell the truth before it gets worse. xo

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hey .. i have a good friend of mine and she wants to kill herself because her and her boyfriend broke up .. and i dont know waht to say to her to make her not kill herself .. like i've said pretty much everything possible and i just dont know waht to do .. nothing i say will make her realize that hes not the only guy and all .. i really need help like asap .. !!
-- ash

Usually anyone that tells someone they are planning to kill themselves, never go through with it. It's usually the person that doesn't tell anyone they are going to that you have to worry about. Tell her it's pointless to kill herself over a stupid guy. She'll find other guys and get over this one. Make sure you are there for her to talk though, because she really needs someone to tell her feelings to. xo

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my forehead is always shiny and oilyy..

so is there anything i can use to keep my forehead shine free for the whole day? well atleast, shine free during school

i have oil blotting sheets from clean and clear, but I dont know if that would keep the oil n shinyness away for a long time

Try a little powder on your forehead. Go for transparent loose powder, because no one can tell you have it on. You could also try shine-free or oil-free foundation/concealer. One of those ideas is bound to work for ya hun. xo

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