I'm a woman in Texas. I'm married and have a school-aged child. I have a medical background. I'm quite liberal, socially. I love helping people with medical, parenting, and social questions. Don't ask me about tech stuff or finances, because I need advice on those things myself!
Gender: Female
Location: Texas
Age: 34
Member Since: December 17, 2006
Answers: 795
Last Update: September 2, 2007
Visitors: 50065
Main Categories:
Health
General Sex Questions
Parenting
View All
Favorite Columnists
Xenolan
|
| |
|
13/f. Ok, so I have recently been having LOTS of trouble with my knees, and I'm only 13! A while ago, my right knee had been hurting alot so I had been trying to go easy when I put pressure on that knee. But as of last week, my left knee started to hurt. Now it has progressed, and both my knees hurt constantly when I'm walking or putting any pressure on them. I do dance, but only twice a week. I do poms...and ballet, tap, and jazz, but the 3 of those are combined in one class. I'm afraid I'm going to STOP having to dance, and that isn't an option with me, because I love to dance, and it's a big part of my life. Someone, please help me! (link)
|
You really should see a doctor since it could be anything from a stress injury to rheumatoid arthritis. It's probably nothing, but ask your parents about taking some Tylenol or Ibuprofen and see a doctor. Meanwhile, you can use ice packs.
Hope you feel better.
Sabine
|
My name is Alex. Im thirteen and a female. I have boy problems. I have dated almost 5boys this year, all ending with me being dramatic. My friends resent me, and others just think i am dramatic. So i was rejected the other day, and its hard for me to take, but my friends are so tired of listening to me. what do i do?
[put in by her friend] (link)
|
Hi, Friend of Alex.
Tell her that she's only 13 and she has a lot of time left to find the right guy. Meanwhile, she should not take her romances so seriously and get so upset. Let her know that everyone gets rejected. The only ones who don't are the ones who never take the chance to ask for what they want. Those people are cowards. Ask her directly to tone down the drama because it is annoying. If she starts up, switch the subject. Tell her to start a journal or blog and write all this stuff down to get it out. If she doesn't get the hint, let her know that you'd love to talk about that geometry assignment (etc.) but that if she's just going to rag on her ex-, you're going to have to excuse yourself. Follow through.
Be patient with her. 13 is a hard age. I know you're probably going through things, too. Try to be the friend your friend needs and hopefully she will return the favor.
Sabine
|
|
i have to dance with a guy infront of the whole school and alot of adults that will come our school is grades K-8. 7th grade 13/f. im the freaky punk quiet type of girl. hes just gross and atleast a foot shorter than me and hate eachother. he just comes too close closer then my guy bestfriend does. i love my guy bestfriend he loves mei just dont wana do this i cant dance with that sicko i wana dance with my bestfriend. but i cant. how do i get over it and do it. i cant switch people. what do i do? (link)
|
Eat lots of garlic and tell the geeky guy to maintain his distance. Be civil to him, even if you don't like him, because he has feelings too. Do your dance for 5 minutes or whatever, and the move on with your life. No big deal.
Sabine
|
|
Does anyone know of an orphanage (or a group home) for kids that is eaither in the city, or somewhere around westchester?? (link)
|
Probably what you're going to need to do is to call your local version of Child Protective Services. They may not tell you information like this because of the confidentiality of the children in the group home. If you need to go to a group home, you probably will need to go through an intake process and show why your parents are not adequate caretakers.
I hope you find what you're looking for.
Sabine
|
There's this guy I've known for a few years. We had a math class together & became real good friends. I ended up liking him but he had a girlfriend. Well, he graduated and I haven't seen him until now & the feelings are coming back. He doesn't have a girlfriend this time.
Anyways, I went with him and his sister (a close friend of mine) to the lake this past weekend. His sister told me on the way there he said he didn't like me, but the way he was acting that night was totally different. He kept grabbing my hand and holding it, looking at me and smiling.. we watched a movie in his sister's car and he was holding me the whole time, & also when we went to sleep. There were other things I probably don't remember..
So question 1: do you think he was lying? I don't think he was, because his attention was on me the whole time. But his sister and the other people with us said different. I just want to know if he's playing mind games.
Not ONLY that, my best friend, who used to go out with him, wants to have sex with him again. I told her no, but all she would say was "I will, watch me. If I'm not with anyone I will." She has done this to me SO many times. But then again, it hasn't just been him. She's been trying to get back with all her ex's lately. She's tried to get one's phone number, and the other she hangs out at his house a lot & told me she liked him again. That didn't last for long though.
Question 2: Should I even worry about her? I just don't want her around him if that's all she's going to do. She has done me this way with so many other guys I've liked & I'm tired of it. I'm not gonna let it happen to me again.
Thanks! (link)
|
People's opinions of others change. Perhaps before that weekend, he wasn't really attracted to you. It could be that there was some chemistry between the two of you for the first time. It could be that he hasn't made up his mind about you or that he was trying to like you. I wouldn't think his sister is lying, but the only way to find out what's going on is to ask him. Be up-front.
Obviously, you don't want to give him anything, like sex, until you're sure that he does like you and that the two of you are in a committed relationship where he has shown your friends and his that you are together.
As far as this "friend," the others are right. She's no friend. But neither is she your concern. If this guy is worthy of your time and affection, he won't want to be around that tramp. He'll work on his relationship with you rather than going for the easy lay. There's nothing that you can do to keep the two of them apart - if they want to be together then they will. I'd say if you really like this guy and he likes you back, you just have to hope for the best and trust him, but keep your eyes open.
Sabine
|
|
Ok I'm gonna try to keep this short and sweet. So my ex-boyfriend of three months supposedly cheated on me with this girl at work that is notorious for spreading rumors that aren't true. They supposedly made out in her car and two of our managers saw them together in her car, but just "hugging." I confronted him about it and of course he denied it, but I broke up with him anyway. So then a couple days later I found out that while we were going out he wrote another girl at work a note that said "I like you and have since the moment I first met you, but I don't want to act on it while I'm with my girlfriend. Can we please keep this between us?" When I confronted him about this he said that he was convinced to do it by someone else and since he's moving in a month he would regret never telling her how he felt. So that's basically about it. He can be very flirtatious with other girls though as well and very touchy-feely. I don't know what to do because recently he has come back to me begging for forgivness and to take him back. I really really like him and he makes me soooo happy, but then there is all that stuff he did and the fact that he is moving about a thousand miles away in a month. All my friends tell me not to get back together with him and that he's a "not nice person" and deserves to die, but I can't help but feel that he's telling the truth and I should take him back. I'm just really confused and would appreciate any advice what so ever. Please and thank you! (link)
|
Okay. Rumors you can ignore. What you can't ignore is the fact that he was crushing on someone else and told her so while he was alledgedly with you. That's not good. Even if he wrote that note because someone else pushed him to do so, he still was thinking about someone else and thought he might regret not being with her when he moved away. That means he's not thinking of you and he is not in love with you. He isn't sure he wants to be with you - he's only sure that he doesn't want to be alone, even for a month. Why manage your life according to his desires? Let him go be with that co-worker and take the opportunity he has before moving. Assuming your agenda is to find a boyfriend who will love you and be loyal to you, it's time to move on. He doesn't deserve to die, but he doesn't deserve you either.
Sabine
|
I recently had surgery. Recently, as in about a week ago. I had my check-up appointment today and I'm pretty sure they will be taking the staples out. I was wondering if anyone has gone through with the removal of staples. Does it hurt? What does it feel like? Should I take a pain medication before going? I'm kind of nervous; I don't like pain or needles.
Any advice would be great.
The surgery was for appendicitis. My appendix ruptured so I have 3 little holes from the minimally invasive surgery. (link)
|
Let's see - after 8 abdominal surgeries, I feel qualified to tell you that staple removal does not hurt, really. It pinches, occasionally, and they have to bend those staples to get them out, but for the most part it doesn't hurt. In fact, usually it feels darned good!
I wouldn't take anything, but if you're nervous, you shouldn't need more than the over-the-counter dose of Tylenol or Ibuprofen.
The doc/nurse will likely apply steri-strips after the staples are out. Those can itch, but they're important because they will keep your scar small and as pretty as possible. I have one that's 14.5 inches long.
You can use vitamin-E oil as soon as the scabbing has gone away. Mederma is also good for scars, but the thing about Mederma that does the most good is that you massage it into the skin. Don't forget to use a lot of sunblock because new skin is very succeptible to sun damage.
Best wishes and hope you're feeling better.
Sabine
|
I'm fair complected and I have been tanning in a tanning bed. I got burned a little to much so I am not going for a couple days but I have this horrible itch on my burn...like a itch you CANT IGNORE and if you itch it it doesnt help...is this natural?
I've tried aloe, coco butter, dove intensive care lotion but none of its helping take the itch away..
Itchy Burned Girl in Ohio (link)
|
I think it's Eucerin which has an anti-itch formula lotion. There's also something called Sarna for itchy skin. You can get those at a local drug store.
It's normal for your skin to itch. Itch is actually a low-level pain signal and scratching usually stimulates the nerve for just a moment, shutting off the signal. You can get that stimulation anytime you have damaged your cells, which is what a sunburn does.
Good luck.
Sabine
|
My friend Jane ask me a question that i thougt she all ready knew the answer cause a anime book explanes it. she ask "how can same sex people fall in love?" my answer "people will fall in love with someone that has a wonderful personlity, you just like that person cause how they treat you and make you feel. Just like the anime book Gravition the character Hiro explains it." do you think that was a good answer? Hiro in gravition explains it like i did but more info in it and i thougt Jane will know, cause she read gavition and she lead me the book to read. why would she ask me?
FYI: I'm a Female. (link)
|
There are a couple of reasons she might have asked. She might have just wanted to know your opinion, as falling in love is more an art than a science. Everyone might have a different opinion about why any two people fall in love. In any case, I wouldn't think that a character's explanation in a graphic novel is the definitive answer, necessarily, or an unimpeachable source. Another reason she might have asked was to feel you out on your feelings about same-sex relationships. She might have been waiting for you to say "I don't know" with a shrug, to say "Yeah? How could they even imagine it! That's disgusting!" or to say exactly what you said. She might have been trying to get you to confess that you've felt same-sex attraction, and that could be because she was hoping you had or because she simply wants to figure out how your mind works.
The only way to tell is simply to ask her.
Sabine
|
|
i am an indian and from bengal.please supply one meal chart as daily menu so that my wife can have necessary calcium out of that as she is carrying for 20 weeks i.e. in her 2nd trimester. (link)
|
Hi. There is a cultural issue between what most of us in America would eat for calcium and what you might eat. I assume that you're likely vegetarian and you may even be vegan. You may have access to different kinds of dairy foods, such as goat's milk instead of cow's milk. That's why it's hard to tell you what exactly your wife should be eating to get enough calcium. Milk, cheese, and yogurt are great sources of calcium, but tofu and some veggies provide it as well.
In general, she should be getting about 1500 mg of calcium per day. Below is a link to vegan foods and a listing of some of their calcium contents.
http://www.vrg.org/nutrition/calcium.htm
I hope you can find something that's useful here.
Congratulations on your expanding family!
Sabine
|
|
I'm a 19 year old female. I have a boyfriend and we have sex regularly. I frequently masturbate in order to reach orgasm. (He can't get me off by fingering me or going down on me - but we do continue to try). Recently when I've masturbated I've felt like I peed slightly. Is this possible and if so how can I prevent it. I don't want to do this with my boyfriend - it would be very embarrassing! Thanks! (link)
|
Some women release a little fluid when they orgasm, called female ejaculation. It's not pee. Some women do pee a little when they orgasm due to the rhythmic contractions of the muscle. The bladder spasms a little. (according to Our Bodies, Ourselves)
Really, have you ever performed oral sex on a man? Then you've likely tasted a little bit of his urine. It all comes out the same hole with them and we're not supposed to think anything of it. I doubt your boyfriend would think anything of a little urine or whatever is coming out. Some men think it's very erotic. I just wouldn't worry about it or make a big deal of it.
Have fun!
Sabine
|
|
i was thinking about getting my lower area pierced i was wondering if your clit is the flabby part in between the lips? And if any one has it and if it hurts or not. And if after its done anything could go wrong like maybe an infection. And if you can go to the gyno with it? -- Thanks (link)
|
Please refer to the following diagram:
http://www.wisc.edu/ansci_repro/lec/lec1/female_images/
images_label/human_female_ext_gen.jpg
The clitoris is actually a place where the nerves are very close to the skin. The clitoral hood, or the skin surrounding the clitoris, is analogous to the foreskin of a penis. The clitoral hood is the part most people (well, most people who are women who want genital piercings) pierce. If you pierce just the hood, then it's just skin, like your ear lobes. If you were to pierce the clitoris itself, I'm sure it would hurt a lot more. Yes, there is risk of infection. And yes you can go to the gyno with it. They probably see a lot of them and it's against their professional code of conduct to say anything about them other than to make sure you know how to keep them clean, etc.
The bottom line is that it's your body and once you're 18, you're free to decorate it as you wish.
Sabine
|
okay so i really neeed soem help. especially from older girls.
im 15/f and lately ive been getting really bad discharge and it smellsss!
its like yellow and/or clear and its thick
i have to wear pantyliners every day
even with a thong! and change it at least once
i told my mom and she bought me that douche thing but its not working
what wrong with me!?!?
i dont want to have this forever i just want to be able to wear under wear without a pantyliner and without the smell/discahrge going through my pants.
and p.s ive never had any sexual things done to me.
pleasee help!!!! (link)
|
1) Stop using the douche. They are not only unnecessary, but also potentially harmful and can make your problem worse.
2) You should see your doctor to make sure you don't have a yeast infection (candidiasis, if you want to look it up) or bacterial vaginosis.
Sabine
|
|
how do you perfectly clean your vagina? (link)
|
You take just plain warm water and either just clean fingers or a warm cloth. You spread apart your labia (vaginal lips) and clean in the folds. You pull back the clitoral hood and get any accumulated cells and discharge out of the folds. You always wipe from front to back, never back to front, in order to avoid infections. You may be able to get by with squirting some warm water inside your vagina, but it's not necessary. The vagina is self-cleaning internallly. Using any soap disturbs the naturally occurring bacteria of the tissue and can lead to irritation and infection. Douches and perfumes can irritate the tissues and make you very uncomfortable.
Sabine
|
i don't really notice when i get mosquito bites or any kind of bites, but i think i have a bee sting [first time]. it's on my index finger right below the knuckle. i'm pretty sure that it is NOT a mosquito bite because it hurts, like when you gently touch it. its a pinkish/reddish dot and its like swollen all around it.
sorry that the pic is blurry, my camera's a Vivitar and its kinda sucky. i really need your guys' help.
http://tinypic.com/view.php?pic=44hku54
(link)
|
Yeah. That pic's kind of sucky. You can use a hydrocortisone cream which is cheap and easily found at the pharmacy part of a grocery store. That will likely help with the pain. It could be a sting, a bite, or even a splinter. What fits what you were doing before it showed up? Were you gardening or hanging out near a wooden rail? Were you near bees or mosquitos or something else?
I hope the cortisone and the baking soda remedy from below can help you.
Tell you parent if it gets redder, hot, more swollen, or gets a line of red leading up your finger into your hand.
Sabine
|
Is it normal to have one boob thats larger than the other?
Is there anything you can do so that they are the same size without stuffing?
Thanks.
And if it helps I'm almost 15. (link)
|
Yes, it's normal. The only things you can do are stuffing one, strapping one down, like with tape, or plastic surgery. Sorry.
Sabine
|
Ok, so I'm in a play and I'm pretty sure I got a cold sore on my lip (not on the side, ON it.) Last night was opening night, so I'm assuming I got it from the lipsticks that the makeup people use. I took a bunch of vitamin c and decided to use my own lipstick with a brush. Is it okay to smush my lips together? Normally I wouldn't wear any makeup at all if I had a cold sore, but I have to, for stage makeup. So summary:
Is this a coldsore, or did I get something grosser, and
How can I heal it quickly, and
Can I smush my lips together for using lipstick, will it get on more of my lip?
Thank you SO much.
(link)
|
Cold sores are very common and caused by the herpes virus. It's not the same as the sexually transmitted disease. There is live virus living on the cells of your lips and in the fluid in the blister. No one can tell you over the internet, at least without pictures, whether you have herpes or something else, but it's likely just a herpes cold sore. They can make us look yucky and can be painful, but they're not usually dangerous or a sign of something worse. They are a sign that your immune system is struggling, so vitamin C and zinc are good supplements to help boost your system. Stress from being in the play and school could be what's causing the problem.
There are a lot of over-the-counter remedies, including Abreva. There's a prescription tablet if the sores start interfering with you getting food or something, but that's rare. Mainly what you need to do is get plenty of rest and nutritious food and don't touch the blister and then touch any other part of your body. Keep the blister moist with something like Carmex or Blistex.
I would suggest that you use your own lipstick and apply it with a q-tip, which you throw away. Do not touch the lipstick again with the q-tip once it has touched your mouth. Otherwise, you will contaiminate your lipstick and you will need to throw it out in order to be sure you won't catch the virus later from the lipstick. It won't matter if you press your lips together because they're always together. Just try not to break the blister in order to avoid spreading the virus.
And break a leg!
Sabine
|
|
My friend kept it quiet that i was cutting because she loves me, but when it got so bad she told. i completely hate her, is that alright to hate her? now we dont even talk... i stopped cutting, so i guess she stopped my pain.. so i still love her..? (link)
|
I'm afraid whether you can love someone who you feel betrayed you is a matter no one else can settle for you. You're the only one who knows how you truly feel about this friend. If you found out right now that she had suddenly died, what would your first feelings be?
She did what she had to do to save you from misery, didn't she? She was loyal to you as a friend because she was a true friend to you, even though she was not loyal to your wishes. Do you think she knew that you would be mad at her? I think it took great courage and sacrifice for her to put your life and mental well-being above your feelings about her.
Sometimes people have to sacrifice a relationship in order to do the right thing. Your friend is brave enough to do that. But you shouldn't let her. You shouldn't make her choice of taking care of you mean that she has to sacrifice her friendship with you.
It's in your power to fix this.
Sabine
|
Hi, I am against declawing kittens but my mom said thats the only way I could get two.
So my question is... About how much does declawing a kitten cost in NH (link)
|
It's probably going to vary depending on how close you are to a dense population area and whether the vet is a small animal specialist or a general vet. You will need to call around or do website searches.
Your local SPCA or animal shelters will likely try to discourage you from declawing kittens, but there are a few options. You can get rubber caps put on the claws. That's done at the vet's office and has to be redone. You could go ahead and get them declawed, but where I live it's about $50 per paw. It is the equivalent of cutting off the last joint of their toes, though, so it's painful. You can have the kittens declawed in the front only so they can keep their back claws for self-protection. Also, you can go to your local shelter and ask whether they already have some kittens or cats who are declawed, but whose owners put them up for adoption.
Be careful because cats without claws feel defenseless. They can get very jumpy and have behavior problems including spraying and being anti-social because they feel insecure.
Good luck.
Sabine
|
|
i used tweezers on my eyebrows now once a little bit higher than the other one! how can i fix this? (link)
|
So they're the same thickness, only one's higher? You can thin them more to bring them to the same level or you can just use brow pencil to even them out. :( Not a lot of good options. Sorry.
Sabine
|
|