Hi, My real name is Daniel. Im an expert on youth affairs (issues) and you can ask me questions on:
Love and Relationships
Sexuality
Dating
Puberty
And anything else to do with youth/teenagers
Drop me a line!
I give advice from my point of view.
So go ahead ask me a question.
Ill give you my best advice.
See you soon.
jumadel
Gender: Male
Location: U.K, England, Greater Manchester
Occupation: Expert in Youth Issues
Age: 15
AIM: Give people expert advice for FREE!
Member Since: June 6, 2006
Answers: 432
Last Update: July 23, 2006
Visitors: 21728
Main Categories:
Love Life
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Im so bored this summer! I have no friends..It sucks. I do during the school year but when summer comes no one calls me to hang out :( what do i do (link)
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Hi, there are lots of options, heres a small list:
1. Library
2. Movies
3. Phone your friends
4. Computer
5. Join a club
6. Do one of your hobbies more
7. Watch T.V
8. Sleep in
9. Physical stuff e.g. biking
10. Get a job, earn a bit of cash
11. Help in the community
12. Walk to the park
13. Visit a mueseum
14. Make new friends
15. Shopping
16. Beach
17. Restaurant
18. Playstation
19. Swimming
20. Ice skating
theres a few ideas. See how them go on. Daniel.
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i'm a virgin, i'm 18 years old, i've been with my boyfriend for 8 months, and i've done everything but have sex, and lately when i'm in the middle of doing 'things' with my boyfriend i've had an extreme urge to have sex. i never let myself do it though, cause.. i dont know. how do i know if i should let myself do it or not? (link)
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Hi, first you need to know if:
a) It's the right time and place
b) HE is ready as well as YOU are
c) When the right moment comes along
Sex should probaly be done in a bedroom were it's quiet and no one can walk in or disturb you. It should be when you both feel ready and turned on and ready to get down to buissness as they say. It just happens sometimes. It is likely to happen if you and your boyfriend are lied next to each other in the bedroom and you go for the kiss then you hug and then undress and so on, and take it from there. Daniel.
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ok to start off i am about to run away.
well heres my story. i had this boyfriend who i loved soooooooo much. we went out for 3 months. but he started rushing things a little much so broke up with him. 5 times. and the final time before we broke up i started liking someone else. now this guy is liked by my two faced good friend!! woo! anyways and me n him really liked each other..so that night we went to the movies and what do you know my ex-boyfriend went too. but that night after me n the new guy talked to my friend and she was like w.e is good for you guys..he asked me out to my face. it was like prince charming. but my ex bf was crushed. i dont blame him. he still loves me soo much. and so me n the other boy went out for a while almost a month. he broke up with me today..hes like well i loved you and i still do and he just doenst make sense. and the two faced girl is making me feel like crap after she was like no no go out!! and she was all nice to me. now she has people thinking im some slut. which is so not me! he was on myspace and he made a buliten sayin oh i lost the perfect girl. wow huh? well its my summer vacation and my ex bf asked me out and like i still love him but i still havent gotten over the other and i don want more problems. any advice??? thank you soo much
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Hi, why don't you soon have another go with your ex? That is a suggestion. Maybe you should brainstorm a list of what goals you want to succeed in with your love life? Now that isn't a bad idea coming to think of it. You could then list them to most-least important and work on each goal one step at a time. It will give you a clear understanding of what's going on for you and what you want to succeed in. Why don't you give it another try with your ex? Or just meet guys and take it from there. Only you can create the opportunity. Daniel.
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So, I was talking with this guy and I'm 15 and he's 16. We were planning on doing it because, I thought, we were basiclly dating. Today, I found out he had a myspace and apparently he has a girlfriend he never told me about or mentioned. I saw the comments she left him saying how much she loves him and then his replys and they were from today. I know this means he's basiclly an ass and I shouldn't be with him or care for him anymore but I really hurt. Should I just not answer his calls and have nothing to do with him anymore or should I confront him or what should I do? Should I tell his girlfriend that he was planning on having sex with me? (I've never talked to her before) Someone please help me before I lose my mind. (link)
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Hi, this guy sounds as though he's after the girls or sex. He might be using you. I would confront him about it before it goes any further. I suppose if you wanted to stick the knife in you could tell his girlfriend but really your better off confronting him and just move on. Sex should only happen when your:
a) Girlfriend and boyfriend
b) You've known each other for a while
c) You've thought about contraception
d) When you feel ready
e) A bit more older
He sounds as though he wants every girl on a plate and what will probaly happen is he will make them think that they love each other were as really he's in for the sex. I would deffinately confront him and have now't to do with him no longer. Daniel.
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I like this boy he always stares and smiles at me. I was in flag football and i was on his team and then this girl joined after me and later at lunch he walked up to me and said im training you for football alone then the girl said what about me and he said no way!! I have heard lots of rumors that he likes me and im starting to not like him but i still don't know if he likes me. i'm so confused does he seem to like me??? (link)
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Hi, to be honest with you he may/may not like you. It does sound however that he does like you but you will never know if you don't ask him out or talk to him. Daniel.
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Mmmkay. How to begin...
So, my best friend is the guy in this situation. We've been friends for a few years, and I'm closer to him than anyone else, and he feels the same. We can, and do, talk about anything comfortably. But I have feelings for him that go beyond friendship. Sometimes I think he feels the same way. People often ask if we're going out. We tried the 'friends with benefits' thing for a while. Meaning we made out a lot, no commitment, but then he got a girlfriend. But really, beside the fact that we don't do anything that would count as cheating, our relationship hasn't changed at all.
But his girlfriend HATES me. When I hug him, she gives me dirty looks(but I hug everyone, it's not a weird thing). She ignores me when I try to make friends with her. Not to mention she's bad for him. He's always walking on eggshells around her, constantly afraid he's saying the wrong thing. She is extremely manipulative and has him a hundred percent whipped.
We always joke about how we're going to get married; we even have the names of our children planned. But the other day, Lucas said something about it that sounded dead serious. I remember his exact words: "You know how some old married couples are just so content? That's how we would be. We'd never fight. It would be perfect."
The other day something happened that really confused me. We were laying on my bed watching a movie(well, it isn't really MY bed. I recently had foot surgery so I'm crashing on the futon until I can climb the stairs to get to my room). I sat up for a second, I can't remember why, and he put his arms around me and pulled me down. I apologized because I thought I was blocking his view of the TV and that's why he moved me, but he said "No, I just want to hold you." So we were cuddling and he kissed me on the forehead. And there have also been other situations since he's been with her where we came close to doing something we shouldn't have been doing.
So the actual questions here are:
Should I tell him how I feel or wait until he's single again(I have a feeling it'll be soon with her jealousy)?
Should I talk to him about not getting intimate, or should I just stop it if the situation arises?
Any other advice you can offer about the situation would be helpful as well. (link)
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Hi, I would probaly wait until he's single again. That way he is free and you are which means the next time you see him you could mention it to him. Give it some time and thought and don't make any rash decisions. If your not happy being touched then you must tell him. Remember it's your body and you decide who touches it. Don't try and make his girlfriend jelouse. This can cause alot of trouble and hate between you and her and is likely she would try and make every chance that you had of becoming his girlfriend ruined and snapped up for herself. Guys aren't for fighting over but to talk to and get along with. After all the world has too. Daniel.
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I have been masturbating (conventionally) for the last three years.At first everything was normal and going well but gradually,over the period of time,I noticed certain peculiar changes in my penis.I think it will be useful to mention here that I started off masturbating about 15 to 20 times a week.Sometimes,the number even escalated to 9 to 10 times daily.Whenever I tried to refrain from masturbation for a day or two,this intense surge came over me and I felt myself giving in to the great temptation of masturbation and ended up doing it again a multitude of times.As such,now that i am 18 and a virgin,I seemed to have lost my penile erection and stiffness.Sometimes it even remains, relatively soft at the time of orgasm.Not to mention it has also lost its orginal shape and has become disfigured.I am quite worried about this and dread the apprehension of not being able to perform sexual intercourse,in the future. (link)
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Hi, what your going through is normal, but don't you think you were doing it quite alot back there? I think that if you did have sex with someone you got to know as a girlfriend then there just might be a possibilitie that you don't cum or fail to get what they call a hard on. But you would just have to find out that for yourself with a girl now wouldn't you? As you move a bit forward out of puberty our libidos (sex-drives) remain the same but we don't really have as many erections or hard ons than when you did a few years back. This is nothing to be a shame of. Some people find that oral sex is better for them to get a quick erection. But it is quite likely that you will get an erection. Especially if the opposite sex had her kit off. Hope that answered it all. Daniel.
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Me and my friend, Max, we have been very close together, though we only met in the beginning of this school year. We hang out everyday after school, we also went through a lot of things together and we even went out once. We hug many times, and we even hold hands, which I think is really cute. He is really sweet (he performs a lot of sweet acts to me), he protects me a lot, he really cares a lot about me, and just have many good qualifications. I really really like him, probably even love him. But I don't know if he considers me as his girlfriend and I also don't know whether to consider my boyfriend. However, the thing is that we both know we really like each other, but we both are VERY shy. We haven't kissed yet, but I really want him to kiss me first (I don't know why, I don't want to scare him) Some of my friends even told me, he not only likes me, but probably even loves me (by the way he acts when i'm near him and he always mentions me 24/7 when he's with other people) and that they're pretty sure he really wants to kiss me too, but he too, is just really REALLY shy and also think that I might get scared. They said it probably crosses his mind once in a while whenever he thinks about me, but they told me not to worry, because he'll get it over soon and if I give him a little more time, he'll get more confident and will kiss me. By the way, we are closer than ever, so that's a very good thing, I'm guessing? So, do you think he considers me as his girlfriend and do you also think he will kiss me any time soon?
Please help me!!!! >.<
p.s: sorry it's kind of long (link)
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Hi, it deffinately sounds as though he likes you. I think he does want to move to the next level with you, but he is probaly a little shy. If he is in love with you he's most likely wanting to kiss with you. This situation could be what they call young love. You both really like each other because of both qualities. Yes, this does seem to be what I call love. Too be honest with you I think if you invite him out for a meal then come back to your place you could both have a great time and then you can just tell him how you feel. You will then both start telling each other how you both feel and personally I think it's really really nice. That would be a sweet thing to do. But yes, I think he does want to take it to the next level. But remember that if you never tell him, then he will never know. Without communication nothing would happen, you could never tell him how you feel and is likely not to last long. Like I said, take him out, then go back to your place and you know just tell him how you feel. I think that would be a very sweet, romantic thing to do. I wish you all the best. Let me know how it goes and if you want to ask any other questions then feel free to contact me again. I like helping you people. Daniel.
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Just wondering, but why does the majority of this site use horrible spelling and grammar when they ask questions? True, I understand it may be faster, but when you have a serious question such as when a friend might die, wouldn't you want others to understand what you're talking about? Also, why are there so many questions on people wanting to kill themselves, cutting themselves, and being just downers in life? Life can be so wonderful, and people make it seem so horrible when they cut themselves because their parents don't let them out past 9 or don't buy them a car, when they should feel lucky that they even have caring parents, or even food on the table. I dunno, just... why?
Thanks in advance. (link)
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Hi, teenagers do tend to be bad spellers. They write in sland and very very quickly. I agree, alot of people should be thankful for what they've got, while they've still got it. Of course most of the teenage problems aren't really biggies but things like depression and mental illnesses is no laughing matter. That is serious and could result to life and death. But I can see were your coming from and your right, most teenagers aren't particularly greatful for all their clothes washed by mum or tea on the table or a nice clean house. Alot of teenagers think their world has ended when they lose a boyfriend when in matter of fact it's only just beggining. They sometimes also don't realise that positive out goes negative. Point well taken. Daniel.
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How bad is weed for you?
I smoke like.. maybe once every 2 months.. sometimes from a pipe.. and sometimes from a can.. how bad is this for you? I dont even think I get high when I do it though.. How do you know when youre high? (link)
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Hi, it takes 100 cigarettes before you become addictive. You know when your high when you feel more jumpy, active and a bit more silly. You can become alert and sometimes get a little over excited. High blood pressure with being silly can be another sign and things like talking really loud and shaking your hands can be another sign. Smoking can cause death at a younger age such as early 60's and it usually causes lung cancer. The quicker you go off it the less likely you have to becoming addictive. Hope that helps. Daniel.
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Ok just recently I had sex. Well it was to dark and I assumed he put on a condom.Well at the end of it he jumps of me real quick so he wouldnt cum in me. I know you can still get pregnant off precum but i was wondering should I worry at all?
Please help me. (link)
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Hi, I wouldn't worry about it. Just make sure that he wears a condom and tell him "if it's not on, then it's not on". You can both get STI's and other things like gonnorhea. And you could also get pregnant. See your Docter if unsure. Daniel.
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last time i had sex with my girlfriend, i came really fast, how can i prevent from cumming so fast? (link)
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Hi, you can't really stop it. But for example if your having sex then you might want to do it a bit slower than usual. Try and keep it going. The way I see it the sex part is a large part of it but isn't the lot. Once you've cummed why don't you explore each other and kiss and really show her that you love her. Then after a wee bit you might get another erection and then you can do it again. There can be alot more in it than just the sex, you could even try oral. Just have fun and show her some affection. You both deserve it. Daniel.
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About a week ago, me and one of my best friends went to the beach which is about 4 hours from our city. We were in the water and we saw this guy surfing and he did good so we just complimented him and that was it. Or so we though. we didnt figure we'd see him any more. So we went in about 20 min later back in our hotel (which was on the shore) and went in the pool. and turns out that boy...lets call him Ian, stays at our hotel, is our age, is extremly gorgeous, and has ALOT! in common with me. Well aparently he was visiting with his dad and his dad took him to the beach as a surprise. And his dad lives only like 45-60 min away from where we live.The last day he was at the hotel, he wanted to meet up in the mornign for breakfast to say bye, but my cell phone got shut off the night before, so we couldnt call him to figure out what time to be there, so i figure he thought we ditched him.any way. He told me he was leaving for his moms like early early early july.(she lives like 4 states away). I want to call him off my moms fone, or ask him if he wants to hang before he leaves, because i realllllly like him. and he wont be back at his dads for like 8 months. But if i called him off my moms fone, i dont want him to think somthing like "wow she must really like me if she went through the trouble of finding some one elses fone to call, shes a but pushy, i dont like her like that." But i want to see him before he leaves, because if he goes then i'll miss my chance. and i might never see him. SO how do i ask him to hang with out being real obvious or too pushy? i really wanna see him. What could we do, thats not really flirty?
Also, i looked at his myspace and hes friends with all of these really pretty girls that are like models with alot of make up and perfect hair/face/bodies. and hes not dating them. SO it makes me wonder, if he dont even wanna date these models, what would he ever see in me?( im just average)
IDK, help please. I wanna stop him and see him before he leaves! or im going to regret this for ever!
SOrry its long. if this confuses you any let me know, and ill clear it up so you can understand better. (link)
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Hi, sometimes in life we need to grab every opportunity that comes your way, because if you don't you might end up regreting it for the rest of your life. You would live to the present day thinking only IF or what IF. I think your young and have alot of talent and will get through life. Yes I think you should just ask this guy out. When you see him again just strike up a conversation. This can be about pritty much anything and maybe you could start off by saying hi and then something like "its a nice day today isn't it?" then followed by "are you watching the soccer world cup?" then take it from there. The best part about asking him out is:
a) You've got over the nervous part
b) Can meet up with him again and continue with discussion
Then from that discussion you can ask him out. This will be a nervous time for you, but remember that if you never ask then you never know and if you can't do the asking and talking part, then it's impossible for you to have a relationship with him. Good luck!!! and be yourself. Daniel.
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i like this kid, but then again i like his bestfriend . . i been switchen on and off with them and i dont know which one to like . what would you do in a situation like this ? please help (link)
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Hi, for starters you could get to know both of them. Become a friend. You should after a while know which one of them is your right match. For example does one of these guys have the qualities e.g. humour or something else that you were looking for in one of them. If you spend time with one of them, you might feel that some of these qualities match what you was looking for in him and then if you feel like you've got a real great bond and you start to like him, then he will probaly be your match. Which one of these guys do YOU personally really like and what qualities does he have that match your specifications. Writing these things down and taking the time to solve these problems can do a world of good and clear your head. It can also give you a clear understanding of who your guy could be. Once you know what guy you like the most then the next step is to simply ask them out. Work it out on pen and paper. It will give you a clear idea of who you like. Daniel.
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How do you know when to consider someone your boyfriend or consider yourself someone's girlfriend? (link)
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Hi, it is quite simple really. You become one's boy/girlfriend when you develpoe this really really special bond between each other. This bond is alot stronger than friendship because it requires love and lots of affection to your partner. It ccan involve things like kissing and being romantic and in alot of cases having sex. Heres the differences between friendships and relationships:
RELATIONSHIPS: Lots of love and affection, Intimate acts, being romantic
FRIENDSHIPS: Honesty, trust, relibility, generous, kind, caring, helpful etc
Do you see the difference. Relationships do require the same things as friendships but with more love and strong liking for the other person. If you know a boy/girl and not sure what your value to each other is, then read them 2 examples. Then you should know which one you are.
Daniel.
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Hi everyone. Welll Whenever i talk to my mom about my friends and their boyfriends and like i wana talk about mine...i chicken out. I don't know what to do to tel my mom about my boufriend. Its kind of enbarresing in your personal life...my friends feel the same way as me but some girls can tell their mom anything.
What can i do to have me talk to my mom aobut my boyfriends?
thxxx ♥ ♥ ♥ (link)
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Hi, I think you might as well talk to a friend or someone you can relate to about it. It is simply because you might be emmbarressed about the whole thing when talking to her. Maybe your just really shy on the whole subject and just can't seem to tell her about it. But if you can't talk to your mother about it, then who can you talk to about it? Just bring up the subject one day, thats all you can do. If you feel uncomfortable about it then don't do it. Just listen to what you want to do. I think you should talk to your mum about it, because your mum is a woman and she too as been through puberty and boyfriends. You could have a good laugh even, but at the same time be listened to and tell her things that you would like to share. Give it a try. You might be thankful that you did plus get some cool advice. Daniel.
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When I was 10 years old, I had a incident where a grown man stopped me next to the road and he wanted me to touch his penis. Since the age of 16 I have had a problem with giving a guy any form of foreplay. Some times I could masturbate them, but that was guys I did not really care for.
I am in a 5 month relationship now and love my boyfriend very much. I have told him what happened to me and he understands, but I want to be able to take part in foreplay with him, I just get to scared. I can also not be naked infront of him when it is not dark. I think this is all connected to my childhood. Other than that our sex life is good. Can anybody please help me? I am a 21 year old female (link)
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Hi, it could well be because of your child hood. But it could be because it:
a) Emmbarressed about the situation
b) Frightend that your not doing it properly
c) Doesn't feel right
d) Never done it before
the best thing that you can do is discuss this with your boyfriend and just give things a try. All you can do is try your best to solve the problem. If things get out of hand and you find that you can't do it, then talk to a proffesional like a Docter who's trained to know these things. Either that or your simply not that ready to do it. To have confidence in doing it you have to first start it. Only you can sort this out, but theres always people like your boyfriend who I'm sure would like to help. Daniel.
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so to make a LONG story short, i met a guy from the town next to me (same grade & age), we hit it off, hung out a few times and then suddenly we stopped talking for like a week (for no reason, we were just never around at the same time). now i have discovered that he is going for some girl in my school a yera younger then me. it sort of upset me at first, but then i was like "whatever" (it's not like we were dating so he can do what he wants). but anyways the thing that bugs me is that he seemed so nice, funny (and he's really cute) so i can't understand why someone who i thought was into me just suddenly changed his mind. i really don't have a lot of experience with boys (i'm 17 and have only had 1 boyfriend, which was in middle school, so that doesn't count). i guess i am just asking for a clue as to why he would have done this? he was really a nice person so i can't really figure it out. also, how do you meet guys over the summer. i mean like ithout saying go to camp, becuase i'm not. i only work, and it's just with 2 other girls. thanks! (link)
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Hi, the guy is obviousley exploring through puberty and trying to find someone he really likes. You may think he likes you and that could be true but guys do tend to get a little bored with the same girl unless it's someone they love. Just because someone smiles and is friendly and likes you doesn't nessarcerally mean that he really really likes you if you know what I'm getting at. Just watch him though, and if you see any signs that he's using you then hold back. Not all guys are as they seem to be. Daniel.
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I am Thai. 24 years old. Male.
I have been talking to this girl for about 2 months. We have a lot in common and seems like she enjoys talking to me as she laughs at my joke (she sais I am so funny). she always tells me about her stuffs like her works, friends,ect. Most of the times I am the one who call her for a talk almost everyday (I also text to her everyday). She calls me sometimes, but, recently, she asked me like: "why didn't you call me yesterday?" or "Why you call me so late? I'm waiting". I went out with her 2 times within last 2 weeks. Both times were great (just as I thought). I will go out with her again on next week. Today, this morning, she texted to me like: "Thanks for everything you have done for me and for good feelings you have been given to me". These are what happening now.
Let me take you back to 8 months earlier. I met her and I called her just like what I'm doing now. At the time she had boyfriend(s). She talked to me nicely and also with another guys. I think that time she was really flirting to me without thinking of any serious relationship. I asked her to go out several time, but she did not. After I paused talking to her for 5 months, she called me and told me that she broke up with her boyfriend. Thereafter, I have been talking to her again since then.
My questions are:
1) Does she really like me this time or just flirt to me again?
2) What does the SMS mean(Thank you for...)? It sounds like she wants to break up our relationship to me. It really bothers me.
Please advice me. I appreciate for all suggestions. Thanks. (link)
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Hi, what I find a bit strange that she likes you but then has no contact with you for 5 months because she had a boyfriend but then as soon as she breaks up with her boyfriend she wants to be with you. It does sound as though she just wants to be with you because she wants a bit of fun until she might meet another guy, and it all starts again. I could be wrong. I think she does like you but she might be like that with all the guys. And the thanks for everything you've done does sound as though she would never see you again. Talk to her as usual, but just be aware of what could happen. If she really liked you then she would only want to be with you. Daniel.
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I've been with my boyfriend for over a year now and it's serious. Not that it matters but for more of a detail, I'm white & he's spanish. He's met my small family but now it's time I meet his huge, cultural family. I'm so nervous because I've never done this and I wouldn't know what to say! I want to make a good impression and show them I'm not some sleazy white girl. (link)
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Hi, you might want to consider these tips:
1. Manners
2. Respectful
3. Co-operative
4. Helpful
5. Honest
You are probaly going to be asked some questions. These can be things like:
1. What do you want to be when you leave school?
2. What are your hobbies?
3. How old are you?
also if you ask questions which are open, you will get more and more information from each other and the more and more you see his family, the stronger your relationship with his parents will be. Although the Spanish football team has been knocked out of the world cup by the French so if you end up talking about the football then go easy on them. Parents usually will look to see if you are very kind and nice and respect things although both parents will have seperate opinions. It's always nice to give a good impression but don't pretend to be different. Just be yourself and things should go really well. You can do it. Daniel.
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