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Complicated boy problem
Mmmkay. How to begin...
So, my best friend is the guy in this situation. We've been friends for a few years, and I'm closer to him than anyone else, and he feels the same. We can, and do, talk about anything comfortably. But I have feelings for him that go beyond friendship. Sometimes I think he feels the same way. People often ask if we're going out. We tried the 'friends with benefits' thing for a while. Meaning we made out a lot, no commitment, but then he got a girlfriend. But really, beside the fact that we don't do anything that would count as cheating, our relationship hasn't changed at all.
But his girlfriend HATES me. When I hug him, she gives me dirty looks(but I hug everyone, it's not a weird thing). She ignores me when I try to make friends with her. Not to mention she's bad for him. He's always walking on eggshells around her, constantly afraid he's saying the wrong thing. She is extremely manipulative and has him a hundred percent whipped.
We always joke about how we're going to get married; we even have the names of our children planned. But the other day, Lucas said something about it that sounded dead serious. I remember his exact words: "You know how some old married couples are just so content? That's how we would be. We'd never fight. It would be perfect."
The other day something happened that really confused me. We were laying on my bed watching a movie(well, it isn't really MY bed. I recently had foot surgery so I'm crashing on the futon until I can climb the stairs to get to my room). I sat up for a second, I can't remember why, and he put his arms around me and pulled me down. I apologized because I thought I was blocking his view of the TV and that's why he moved me, but he said "No, I just want to hold you." So we were cuddling and he kissed me on the forehead. And there have also been other situations since he's been with her where we came close to doing something we shouldn't have been doing.
So the actual questions here are:
Should I tell him how I feel or wait until he's single again(I have a feeling it'll be soon with her jealousy)?
Should I talk to him about not getting intimate, or should I just stop it if the situation arises?
Any other advice you can offer about the situation would be helpful as well.
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my freind has the same problam
omg.
yeah you should tell him how you feel right now.
or else he will never know.
and move on.
and you will never know what would have happend with you too.
but if you do
then he might feel the same and is just to afraid to tell you.
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Wow, sounds a little complicated! It sounds like you are both totally into each other, just scared to jump in. I will offer you a little bit of advice...friends with benefits NEVER works. Been there, done that, things get nasty and in the end you always end up losing a friend. Here's what I would do. First, he needs to make a choice...you or his GF. It's obvious he has feelings for you so you need to be straight and honest with him. Just come right out with it and tell him how you feel. He doesn't belong with this other chick if he is cuddling and kissing you anyway. It looks like you could have something great here, I would go for it. To answer your questions...tell him how you feel NOW, don't wait. Don't be intimate with him until he dumps his GF, (yes, talk to him about it don't wait until the situation arises).
Let me tell you a little about me...
I am 28 and HAPPILY married to my best friend. We were friends first too, since we were 14! I was just breaking up with a BF (who is the father of my child) at the time we got together. We sat down together and talked about our options, openly and honestly. Option 1 was to get together, forget about my BF (who was a jerk). Option 2 was friends with benefits and option 3 was forget the whole thing ever happened. Let's just say that we have been married for 6 years, he has adopted my son and he is still my best friend. We are that type that Lucas said you would be...we never fight and we are sooooo content. Most people have to work hard at a relationship and we don't because we are just so comfortable with each other.
I really hope that helps. I hope that seeing my situation shows you that it can happen, even if he has a GF. All you need to do is be honest and upfront with him (and yourself) and if it is meant to be it's meant to be...
GOOD LUCK!
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I think his girlfriend already knows (call it gut feeling or a woman's intuition) that he likes you and not her. She's so mean to you because she knows her guy is slipping away. I wouldn't cheat with him, because most girls can spread rumors, and they are usually believed. I would wait until he dumps her, or vice versa, and then tell him you feel the same way. It sounds like you two are in love (LUCKY!!!) and I wouldn't let it slip away, but do try to wait until you two can be with each other without feeling guilty. Hope that helps!
Alice
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I understand this situation because the same thing happened to me. However, i did not tell him how i feel because he already knew that i liked him and i knew he like me too. So he waz about to come over my house and he had a friend ova who waz like a brother to me...so when the boy i like was about to go home he took my hand and started holding it and like rubbed my on my cheek so romanticly. However, he still had a girlfriend and so i thought that it was his disicion of if he wanted to hook up with me or keep on with his relationship. And he kept on so yea i was bummed but again it was his desicion and plus me and his gf were friends so it was kinda aquard but it was ok cus me and him are still good friends. Personally i think that you should tell him how you feel and so that way he will get a sign and it would be eaasier to make his desicion.
P.S. me and his gf hated eachother at first.
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Hi, I would probaly wait until he's single again. That way he is free and you are which means the next time you see him you could mention it to him. Give it some time and thought and don't make any rash decisions. If your not happy being touched then you must tell him. Remember it's your body and you decide who touches it. Don't try and make his girlfriend jelouse. This can cause alot of trouble and hate between you and her and is likely she would try and make every chance that you had of becoming his girlfriend ruined and snapped up for herself. Guys aren't for fighting over but to talk to and get along with. After all the world has too. Daniel.
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awww thats soo cute. I think you should tell him. He is your friend, so it wont be harsh either way. It sounds like he likes you alot. And about the other girl, tell him what you think about her. Say i think you deserve more than that, be positive, dont say anything like "Shes a B****, then he would feel pushed into a corner, i think you should tell him how youu feel and see what happens. If you really like him, its worth it right?
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LOvE yOu X3 asher beth
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This one is definetly complicated, but you deserve an answer because you used great grammer, thank you.
Well to me, it sounds like you should back off of your best friend a little because he needs to actually get rid of his girlfriend before he decides to cuddle you in bed together. To any girl that would be cheating and it absolutely is. It makes me wonder how he may be toward you when it comes to other girls. If he's cuddling and kissing girls while he's with this girl, are you sure that he wouldn't be doing the same thing to you?
About his girlfriend: She is threatened by you. She knows that you and him have a very close friendship that obviously has the chemistry of beyond friendship. Her feelings of jealousy and being snotty toward you is probably common. I know that it would be very hard for me to be in that girl's situation. But the thing is that you are saying how bad she is of a girlfriend, and yet he's staying with her. That is his choice if he wants to let her walk all over him and that is his fault that he's choosing to stick with her, so her being bitchy or unfriendly and controlling is no good excuse for cuddling with him or any of that.
About him: First off, let him know that the feelings are there and hopefully he will come around and take you. Especially after what you described that happened on your bed. Just let him know that you really do love him and you want something more than the friendship. No friends with benefits, you want the real deal. A relationship.
So here are your answers to your questions in my opinion:
Should I tell him how I feel or wait until he's single again?: Tell him how you feel. Be calm and let him know you have feelings for him.
Should I talk to him about not getting intimate, or should I just stop it if the situation arises? At this point, I wouldn't let any cuddling or kissing go on between the two of you unless you both end up together.
-TheTeenGirl
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