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I have a problem with foreplay and being naked infront of my
When I was 10 years old, I had a incident where a grown man stopped me next to the road and he wanted me to touch his penis. Since the age of 16 I have had a problem with giving a guy any form of foreplay. Some times I could masturbate them, but that was guys I did not really care for.
I am in a 5 month relationship now and love my boyfriend very much. I have told him what happened to me and he understands, but I want to be able to take part in foreplay with him, I just get to scared. I can also not be naked infront of him when it is not dark. I think this is all connected to my childhood. Other than that our sex life is good. Can anybody please help me? I am a 21 year old female
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Tell him to go blindfold... it would help you..
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Hi, it could well be because of your child hood. But it could be because it:
a) Emmbarressed about the situation
b) Frightend that your not doing it properly
c) Doesn't feel right
d) Never done it before
the best thing that you can do is discuss this with your boyfriend and just give things a try. All you can do is try your best to solve the problem. If things get out of hand and you find that you can't do it, then talk to a proffesional like a Docter who's trained to know these things. Either that or your simply not that ready to do it. To have confidence in doing it you have to first start it. Only you can sort this out, but theres always people like your boyfriend who I'm sure would like to help. Daniel.
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First, I am going to say that I am sorry for what happened to you. People that do those things to children should be shot in the ****. Next I would like to let you know that how you feel is normal and to be expected. The big problem here is trust and I know that sounds weird because you are thinking "What does trust have to do with foreplay" Well, you have a problem with foreplay because of your past experiences. That person betrayed your trust in people. As far as the naked thing, that is interpersonal. My opinion is that you don't like the way you look completely and I also think it is interemotional because of the traumatic past. My advice to you is that if you love this guy then learn to trust him completely. He is not going to hurt you or make you do anything you don't want to do. If you can't work through this problem with advice then you might want to look into getting therapy, because you might not realize it but the problem may go deeper then when you were 10. I hope I have enlightened the situation a little bit.
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well, yes, it very well may be becuse of your childhood- but i dont think it is. you asked for my opinion, and im gonna give it to you stragiht up. i think honestly- youre not ready for sex. granted, you are old enough to make your own decisions and such- but if you can be naked in front of your boyrfriend in the light- then thers something teling me that youre not officially ready- yes, it may seem like you love life in that department is okay- but it seems quite the opposite. i can understand the foreplay part becuase of the incident- but from what you told me you werent naked when the man asked you to perform the deed- therefore i think the naked thing, and the foreplay thing dont have anything to do with each other. sorry if i confused ya at all- jsut tryin to help.
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Oh, dear, that's very unfortunate. What happened to you as a child is completely wrong and I'm sorry that such things should happen to anyone. Just be very happy that you have such an understanding boyfriend!
I think the only way for you to really deal with this would be for you to get some therapy, either with a regular therapist or a sex therapist. If you have never dealt with this problem before now, then you need to do it right away. It will be hard, but the longer you leave this negativity in your life, the longer you are allowing it to hurt you.
Good luck!
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