Depressed_Poet's advice column

I have mild acne on my face, chest and back.
what would you guys suggest for me to use to help clear it.. i have mixed feelings about proactive...
ive been usind oxy pads, but they havent shown much improvement...
anything will do thx!

OK well I know you have mixed feelings about proACTIVE, but you won't have those mixed feelings once you try it. It works anywhere you have acne (face, back, chest etc.) so it should take care of those problems for you. If not, try the old toothpaste trick. Put a little mount of toothpaste on each zit and leave it on for a little while, then wash it off with a face cleanser. Or you could always try that Nutrogena face wash, I hear it works pretty well & since I am a fan of Nutrogena, I buy lots of their products and I've almost never been let down. But stay AWAY from Clearasil, it's terrible! Also there's a technique you can use (but only for your face) you take two bowls out, fill one with hot water (steamy hot water) and then the other filled with ice. Keep your face level with the hot water first fot about ten minutes, then the other bowl for about ten minutes.
Good luck!

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Maybe I'm just a person who feels this way, but when I give advice, half the people don't even respond to me, like give me a rating. Of course I know it's their decision to rate, but I really don't appreciate the fact that I spend a good amount of time answering a question, and the person doesn't rate me. Does anybody else feel this way?

Preferably, I do like to be rated. :-]
But yeah, I don't give advice for ratings, I do it to help people, so hopefully you have those intentions. Ratings aren't everything! Maybe when they don't rate you it's because the advice wasn't what they were looking for but they were trying to be nice?
Just another way of looking at it. Good luck with your ratings, lol.

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i asked a question about wieght loosing and i got an answer about eating 6 meals a day (PS thanks for answering anyone who did, I APPERICATE IT). can someone give me an example of 6 healthy meals i can eat a day.

perferabally something that i won't have to go out and by like "slim fast".

THANKS

For Breakfast: Oatmeal, an apple, and a bagel. Only around 350 calories. Or try those energy bars.
For Lunch: Half a sandwich of whole-wheat bread with peanut butter is 349 calories. Or you could go with soup or a salad.
For Dinner: Avoid pasta, it fills you up for about an hour, but then you're hungry again. Avoid diet food. Try some steak & veggies instead of fries when you go out to eat etc.
For snacks: Energy bars, a couple slices of bacon, ritz crackers with peanut butter etc.

Hope things go well

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my husband of 5 years is also my boss. 6 months ago he hired an assistant, a stick thin, long haired blonde, who all the guys have been drooling after for the past 6 months. i became her friend and we would all go out for drinks, but the more i got to know her, the less i liked her. she is a self proclaimed 'gold digger', she has cheated on her previous relationships, she uses men for $, she flirts with every single man, has been intimate with a few of our co-workers (already) and has gone out on a few dates w/ another married man. I try not to have anything to do w/ her, but i get so fustrated when she squeals & giggles loudly & i look over to find her and my husband/boss flirting! we have had HUGE arguements @ home about this, he says that i have nothing to worry about (& i know this) but i am still angry about his actions, he tells me that he will tone it down and be more professional @ work but he isn't. he buys her things like lunches, drinks, etc. and then fights w/ me over our finances. for some dumb reason he told her how much i make (which is less then her!) and now she is telling other ppl that we work w/! @ work he barely gives me the time of day, when i ask him for help sometimes he says flat out "no", but then will go help her, or he will start to help me, but then drops whatever he is doing to help her out. he puts more of a workload on me, and expects more from me then her, or his other workers.
i do trust him, really i do, but that is not my problem, my problem is that i can't afford to quit my job for at least another year and a half (because we owe a lot of $ in Credit debt) but it breaks my heart, honestly my heartaches every time i hear, or see them flirting. she follows him around like a puppy dog, she won't leave his side throughout the day, always has some stupid silly little question to ask him, and she even takes lunch breaks w/ us. i am full of so much bitterness and rage, I don't have a problem w/ her working alongside him, if they would only tone it down on the flirting, chit-chatting throughout the day, and if he would stop doing things for her like, buying her stuff, makeing her coffee, etc. our marriage has gone through alot, and i never would have thought that some 21 y/o airhead would be the thing that comes between us. i've tried everything from a calm, reasonable talk, right down to a screaming yelling, tear streaked face as i call him every name in the book, and everytime it is the same: "I would never cheat on you, i would never disrespect my vows, I'm sorry i hurt you, i won't do it again" but he does it over and over and over again.

I know that he isn't cheating on me physically, but I feel betrayed that he seems to be haveing an emotional affair w/ her. right now I am not speaking to him, he tries to get me to talk, but i can't go through ANOTHER fight w/ him on the same subject, when i know that my words will fall on deaf ears, and he will make promises to change, but will never fall through with it... i have accepted his inability to control the flirting situation.... but i am thinking about going to HIS boss and talk about how i feel that i have an unfair amount of work, and how when i ask for help he refuses, or he never finishes helping me out. sorry it was so long, but god it felt good to get that off of my chest.

Not a well-formed marriage if you ask me, sorry to say. I don't mean to be rude! Now, I'm young but I think I can still give you the advice you need.
If he won't listen to you and you've confronted him countless times it would seem pointless to do it again. So I think you should talk to that thin blond and ask her nicely if she could just lay off a little bit because you are his wife! If that doesn't work, talk to him again and tell him that you're tired of confronting him countless times with no message getting through, and him just saying he won't do it again, then ignoring the whole argument and going off and continuing to flirt. Tell him that girl has cheated on her previuos relationships and she uses guys for money all the time. Tell him she's not faithful or loyal. But don't go too far, he'll get mad I'm guessing. Just explain everything you're feeling from your heart to your mind calmly. He should understand and say more than "I'm sorry, I won't do it again." Because after a while that doesn't mean anything, the words just become worn out.
I hope things work out, good luck

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15/f.
is it true that diet soda is worse for you health wise than regular soda? i heard that drinking diet soda can make you gain more weight than drinking regular soda. is this true?

and what is the difference between diet coke and coke zero?

Depending on how much of the soda you drink, it can be wrong or right. All diet sodas (not wasit-watchers) have nutri-sweet in them which makes you hungry. So you can gain more drinking it because you get hungry then eat more. Immediately after I drink it, I feel hungrier even if I'm drinking it with lunch or something! It also is connected to giving you kidney stones which give you excruticiating pain and is able to give you brain tumors. Not fun.
Hope I helped

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alright, well, I'm mormon, born and raised.
anyway, I have no clue what Ash Wednesday and Lent are, my friend had a big black mark on her head, and i asked her what it was, she just said ash wednesday, then i offered to go out with her on saturday to get something to eat and she cant. i asked her why, and she said Lent? What are these? what religion is it, and why??

The Religion is Catholic and on Ash Wednesday Catholics go to Church to get Ashes on our foreheads in the shape of a cross and the priests say "You are of ashes and to ashes you shall return." In other words, God made us from dust and when we die we will return to dust or go to Heaven. Lent is when Catholics sacrifice something for 40 days in Honor of Jesus going in the desert and fasting for 40 days. So Sundays are the only days we're aloud to have the things we gave up for 40 days, and on Fridays if you're 14 or older you can't eat meat or snack between meals. But it's only for Catholics, and only during Lent season! It's a tradition.
Hope I helped.

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OK, well, I have this odd problem where when I do my homework, it's pretty hard for me to concentrate. If I hear the tiniest noise, I can't work at all. My parents have gave me earplugs, but I feel totally dorky and that there must be another way. Any ideas?
P.S. My family is LOUD, and I can't get them to be quiet.

~UnCoNcEnTrAtEr

I'm the same way, partly because I have a minor case of ADD. Which is an attention disorder and the slightest things throw you off balance of your agenda. Anyway, I suggest going up to your room, and shutting the door (obviously) and try to get some quiet homework time in. I used to do my homework at night, everyone was quiet then, but my grades are better when I do it right when I get home from school. Do you have a studyhall during the day? If so, a great way to get a head-start so you'll have less homework to do at home where it's too noisy. Also, if you want everyone to be quiet, here's what I do. My dad is normally watching like a football game with his friends and everything and I'm doing homework and they ARE REALLY LOUD! Lol. So my dad is like, obsessed with me going to college because he wants my future set up nicely. So I'll pull this thing where on a commercial I'll go up to him and say "Dad, don't you want me to get into a good college?" And he'll say yes then I'll be like "Well it starts with getting good grades on my homework because if I don't then I'll fail in that class and have my grades messed up then not be able to be accepted in a good college and who knows? my future could be wrecked!" even though a couple bombed grades won't have a huge impact on my college IQ type thing, you get what I'm saying. So try to convince everybody to be quiet by pulling the college thing. Works everytime. =]

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On Saturday, my best friend *Carly* went to a party with her boyfriend. She didn't want her parents to know that she was going, so she lied to her parents and said that she would be hanging out with a girlfriend. She told me that was what she was going to do. On Saturday night, or Sunday morning rather, around 12:30, Carly's sister called me and asked if I knew where she was because she was supposed to be home at 12:00. She asked if I knew the person she was hanging out with.

I was worried about Carly. I didn't know if maybe she got drunk or if she was hurt so I snapped and told her sister that Carly was really at a party with her boyfriend. I made her swear not to tell. I only did it because I was worried something happened to her.

Carly didn't find out that it was me that did her in, but her mom made her break up with her boyfriend the next day and she is devastated. I feel horrible. If I would have known that would have happened I wouldn't have done it. It's all my fault and I don't know what to do.

Did I do the wrong thing?

WAY TO GO YOU HAVE A BRAIN! Unlike the other 5% of ignorant teens.
Anyway,
yes you did the right thing. You would've felt guilty later if you didn't tell anyone and something had happened. In fact, she should be very lucky to have you as a loyal and trustworthy friend! But next time, don't make anyone swear not to tell because they need to know if she's in trouble or not because that's her family! So congratulations for having a good brain, and Carly is going to have to understand you did it out of concern for her, not vengeance if she gets mad.

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I have been married for 8 years. My husband and I have grown distant over the past 2 years. I started sleeping with someone which I don't believe in, and still can't believe I did it. I fell in love with this other man and he is the father of my newborn. I still love my husband and do not want to hurt him, but I do not want to hurt the other man either. I believe in God and that he doesn't believe in divorce, and the roots of this are so deep now. I would be happier with the other man, but does that matter at this point?

This may be hard, but my vote is to leave your current husband, because if you've grown distant & it's gotten to the point where you feel something stronger with someone else, you need to listen. Listen to your heart, it's telling you something. Listen to your conscience, it's sending you a message as well. Listen to your instinct, it's telling you something. All of those things telling you something have one thing in common; telling you one thing. You have to figure out what they're telling you because the message is the same and only you can de-code it. I know I sound weird right now but, you hopefully understand my metaphor. Anyway, you have to do what feels right and abandon your fear of losing your husband. Although you need to think this through for a little while, what if he's just a phase? Because sleeping with someone will make you feel attached to that person, but is he in love with you as well? I hope things work out for you, it must be pretty hard. Just know that God is with you when you make your decision!

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Is something wrong with me? There's some blood in my discharge. I never had sex. And I last had my period around the 6th or in that week.

Can masturbating have anything to do with it? Long fingernails? Can being gentle tear/cut something inside there?

Yes masturbating could have a pretty big effect considering the fact that, when you finger yourself if you have long finger nails, you could've popped your cherry, or you could've popped your cherry by inserting a tampon which could cause you to bleed. Maybe it's just spotting which can be caused by stress, so try not to be stressed out, and just be cool for a little while if you know what I mean? I advise you not to masturbate as frequently if you're rough, but the blood will pass. Don't worry! If not, consult a doctor, but it will stop I'm pretty sure.

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i would like to loose 30lbs by April. But i'm not sure how to do it.
I've been eating healthy, but lately i've been overeating. I need some tips on how to stop thinking about food all the time and grabbing another plate/serving of food. what can i do?

When you go shopping, avoid the high-calorie snack aisle. Replace chips with fruits and veggies etc. The basics. Every night do 25 crunches then every few nights advance by 25. Swimming is great and it's the sport/activity you burn most fat with because you use every muscle in your body. If you're between the ages of 11-18 stick to a 1700 calorie diet but make sure it consists of healthy things. Also, look at the back of the boxes of food and see the amounts of sodium & sugar & fat total in percentages. Be careful & don't be too obsessive.

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Hey =) well there's this song that I have been wondering who sings it and what it's called. Here are some of the words...

This is the story of a girl
Who cried a river that drowned the whole world
And when she looked so sad in photographs
I absolutely loved her-when she smiled

sorry...that's all I know. If you all could please tell me the name of the song and who it's by I would greatly appreciate it! Thanks

It's called Absolutely, I used to have it on my iPod, and it's by Nine Days.

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14/f
is it bad that i like to look at porn online?

No, you're just curious & at the age where people decide their sexual preference. It appeals to everyone who looks at it, even my mom looked at those pictures when she was your age. Shocking, I know. Especially if you knew her, sorry off track. Anyway, it's completely normal that you're interested, and everybody sees it at least a couple times in their life.
So congratulations! You're normal. Haha, you're fine. Hope this helped.

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I just found out that britney shaved all her hair out. I couldn't believe it.
Why did she do it?. What's going on with her?

Her excuse was because she had a lice problem, but I don't buy it and neither do the news-people. They say she was doing drugs & they were going to do tests with her hair, so she shaved it off because if they were doing tests on her hair, and the results said she was doing drugs, she'd be in A LOT of trouble.
Hope that was what you're looking for.

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i went to http://clothing.garmentfashioner.com/ the website you told me about but it wont let me look at anything unless im registered so i signed up for the website and it said i have to write to some email to get varified to be registered. can you help me out because i wrote to the email address and i havent gotten anything back and when i try to sign in it says i cant sign in.

I'm not sure I can help you with that sorry. But I did find some better websites that don't require that if you'd like to check them out? Here they are:

gojane.com
80spurple.com
thegiantpeach.com
soundgirl.com
azaleasnyc.com
goodsbreckenridge.com
alloy.com
fredflare.com
karmaloop.com
abercrombie.com
loopsandpluto.com
modcloth.com
polkadotsandmoonbeans.com
sidecca.com
styledose.com
urbanoutfitters.com
bazaaradriatic.com
billardchick.de
roxiesvintage.com
shopkitson.com
funkandstandard.com
joiastylestudio.com
shop-plasticland.com
thenaturalrhythm.com
And I'm not sure if eBay counts or not but..you know how it is, lol.
Have fun

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if a guy and a girl have been going out for over a year and havent had sex is it really wrong?

and

if i dont will he go off and sleep with someone else? do guys do that?

That is NOT wrong at all, because it depends when YOU'RE ready for sex, not when he's ready! You should both be ready, you should both be in love, and both trust each other. As for him sleeping with someone else, most likely he will get a girlfriend that will do something for him, but don't be jealous because if he does, she's the one ruining her life. Sex not only makes you feel pleasure, or hurt, but it leaves you emotionally attached to the person from what I hear so don't do it with someone you're unsure about, or don't think you're ready to do. Some guys will do that, some will use their girls for sex, while others will stay loyal.

Bottom Line: I advise you not to in this case, it will save you further drama in life.

Good Luck
~ Lauren

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okay so im 15 and me nd my b/f had sex like a week ago and we didnt use protection. i no i shouldve but it was only for like a few seconds and weve done it b4 and nuthing happened but this time when he came out of me, he had cummed right on the bed like right after he pulled out..is there any possible way i could be pregnant?

Yes, you could be pregnant, due to pre-cum. Pre-cum is cum that comes out before the rest of it, & you can't feel it. Chances are, if you did it that quickly, you might not be. My cousin did it with her boyfriend & she wasn't pregnant, but they only had sex for 10 minutes before her mom caught them...sorry off topic. Anyway, there's always a chance you could be pregnant with something like this, unless you have oral sex etc. of course.
Hope things work out the way you want them to.

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Sorry, i didnt know what catagory to put this under. im getting tested for ADD soon. they said itd be like 3 hours for two days. whats the ytest like? and whats the difference between ADD and ADHD?

ADD is an attention disorder. For example, you'd be doing homework, but you can't concentrate because of your surroundings.
ADHD is when you cannot concentrate for long periods of time, and easily distracted.

Sorry about the Y test thing, I googled it & found nothing as of use to your situation. Good luck with the tests though, I hope they go well!

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you know when people suck helium and talk and they have like this funyn cip munk voice? you you suck it and talk as much as you can til the helium is gone or do you swallow it?

Usually you inhale it, but it's not good for your health, really bad actually!

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