Sometimes my advice is good advice, and sometimes it's just an opinion. Sometimes people don't take good advice (ironically.) If everybody would just talk to each other, we'd have world peace, so you probably won't see "just talk to them" in my column.
I worked as a Registered Nurse for a few years so I know a little about health.
I think and read about spiritual things. I answer spiritual questions without trying to convert anyone to my own beliefs. I'm a non-denominational Christian, but I believe everyone has a path to follow, and God is patient, so I answer spiritual questions from where you are.
Gender: Female
Location: FL
Occupation: Old wise woman
Member Since: January 12, 2004
Answers: 327
Last Update: June 8, 2006
Visitors: 16199
Main Categories:
Illnesses
Injuries
Spirituality
View All
|
| |
|
I am a 20 year old male from florida. I started dating a girl about a month ago, also I live with her. She is bi-sexual and that sort of bothers me, but I can deal with it. She spends a lot of time online, at least an hour or two each day, talking to people, some she knows offline and others she doesnt. She left herself logged in to one of her accounts today and so when I went to use the computer it was on her message screen from some free online friend network thing. She was exchanging messages with a girl from orlando who was also bi. The first message is my girlfriend responding to a post from the other girl about "girl seeks girl in florida for love" or somthing close to that. They have exchanged a few messages, kind of flirty, and im not sure if I should be worried, upset, should I talk to her about it? We have a pretty good relationship so far, I think, and we talk about everything. What should I do? (link)
|
She is essentially "cheating" on you. Do you have a committed relationship? I would think so if you are living together. Or does she think of you as a "friend with benefits?" This doesn't sound too good to me.
It really depends on how you see the relationship. If you decided to talk to her about it, ask yourself this: what do you expect her to say? What would be an acceptable explaination to you?
|
|
Should I run away from home? (link)
| |
No. No matter what is going on, running away, and ending up on the street would be a thousand times worse. Seek help from an adult, at your school, or someplace where there is an adult you feel comfortable talking to.
|
|
this girl in the year above me was saying realy mean stuf about me cos i went out with this boy she used to go out wif.my friend over heard and told me every thing she said, i got on to the girl who said it and she denied it.to at day after school she got a lot of other girls 2say stuf to my friend for telling me,they were calling her realy rude names and threatnin her on the bus,she is scared to go on the bus now and has no other way to school, she pretended to sleep in to get her mum to leave her to school today but on the way home they got evn worse towards her, she rung me an was cryn,she says she feels like killing herself,shes pretending to be sick tomorrow, she doesnt want me to say anything to them cos she thinks it will make it worse and she feels she cant tell anyone either cos they will get her, i duno what to do, shes terrified, she cant stop cryn, they degrade her every day wen she is on her own as we get differnt buses home, its affecting her realy badly and im very worried about her, wot can i do to make them stop, they dnt say nothing 2her wen shes with us but wen shes on her own they go mad at her,im getn depressed an cant concentrate on my school work which isnt good as this is my GCSE year, i cant imagine what it must be lik 4her, she doesnt eat or anythinh now, i feel so bad cos i feel lik its my fault, plzz i need an urgent answer, im so worried about her. (link)
|
I think she really needs to tell an adult. She might start with her parents, since this is effecting her school work, but also she could talk to someone at the school, like a counselor. I know she thinks things will get worse if she does this, but I don't see how they could be much worse than they are now. She is taking a lot of verbal abuse to the extent that she is afraid for her safety. If she tells someone, at least if something happens they will be informed of the circumstances. It might make the girls who are harrassing her stop.
Also crying, not eating, and wanting to kill yourself are not good. She needs help. This is beyond her or you to correct. She really needs to talk to someone.
|
|
I have a webpage question. I want to put my livejournal into my webpage with an iframe like before, but now I want it to be specifically positioned. Like, first I want it to be 164 pixels from the left and have the actual iframe be 400(wide)by 331(high). My question is... how do I do this, or can I, even? (link)
|
http://www.w3schools.com has good tutorials on how to use html and css. I have never tried to use frames.
If you don't get a better answer from someone more familiar with this, try asking one of the advice columnists personally in their mailbox who indicates computers as a main interest, like spacefem, dolphinlover, downwithhydrogen, or MFS.
|
i have been with my boyfriend for almost a year and we love each other so much,(we are both 20) we live together now and we are very happy except he recently got a p.c for our room and in the evenings he likes to download porn, while im asleep he often masterbates to it too.wev'e talked about it and he knows how i feel about, it even brought me to tears one time, i got that upset about it. i just dont like the fact that he would rather watch girls on the p.c then snuggle up with me. our sex life is good, for me and him so i dont understand why he loves it so much and its damaging our relationship. i dont know what to do, pls help!!!
p.s. im female!!!! (link)
|
I think the fact that this is going on in your bedroom while you are there in bed is awful. No wonder you were brought to tears by it. Ask him how he would feel if you used a vibrator and magazines with photos of good looking men while he slept next to you.
Also, I would want to know what exactly causes his fantasies to be more appealing than reality.
|
|
ok can someone please help em and tell me what the best classes are to take for highschool iv chosen sign laungauge already i need 1 more and 2 alternet class to pick from someone please help (link)
|
Sign language is a great choice. Language is required by a lot of colleges, and Sign Language counts.
I am guessing you already have the required classes covered, because you want to graduate without having to do extra time, right? As far as your other electives, that depends entirely on your interests and what your school offers. Have you talked to a counselor yet? They will give you a list of what is available and you make your choices based on your interests, talents, and goals.
For me to tell you what to take won't exactly work, because I might say something like Art and you may not be an artist, or Astronomy, and you school doesn't offer anything like that.
|
I was with my partner for 11 years. We then married and 5 months later he met someone else and left two months later, without discussion. We had a very good relationship, and I believed we were together for life. Our respective faults did not adversersly affect the relationship and we got on very well together. He is a very independant/selfish person, but I belive he was not unfaithful to me before this occasion. He tells me he has not left because he met someone else, but becaused I nagged, and that he no longer loved me. Being a woman, yes I did nag, but far from excessivly.
We have been apart for 5 months, and I would still have him back, as I feel our relationship is worth fighting for. I was unaware that he was unhappy, and he made no indication of this. I have written a couple of letters and tried to talk to him, but he is,and always has been,reluctant, or incapable of talking about his feelings in any detail. The most I have got out of him is that he 'loves me, but not as he should'. He has remained in touch, and when I see him, he treats me like an old friend, and acts as though nothing has happened/that we did not have the past that we had.I do belive we could be happy together, despite this, and am prepared to try and put what has happened behind us. Some advice on how to 'play' all this would be gratefully received - what steps do I take to try and rebuild our relationship?. I am 42, and he is 41.
Regards
Anne Wilson. (link)
|
I believe you should move on with your life. I think telling you that you nagged too much is not fair. You were with him 11 years and suddenly you nag too much?
He was unfaithful, and personally, I think you need to improve your self respect. He doesn't sound too good. I would want someone who treated me a lot better than you are describing.
I would advise you to find places where you meet people, and get a circle of friends to distract yourself. I don't believe you should immediately get involved in romance, but I think after a year of getting used to the idea that the relationship is over, you should start thinking of dating again. Do your best to improve your opinion of yourself, your value and self esteem.
|
|
OK. To get to the point my friend *billy* asked me what I would do if he died. i told him I would cry (I wasn't really sure what he meant) and I asked him what he would do if I died. He said he would kill himself. But, he also said he would kill himself even if I didn't die. I am 12...he is only 11. His mom used to beat him and he never sees her. HIs dad lives in Alaska and he goes up every once and awhile. He isn't that great of a student and he doesn't think he is cute or anything. So basically he hates his life. He said he won't do it now but maybe when he is older. If he did kill himself I would probably blame it on myself because he really liked me and i sorta liked him and then I stopped liking him and it made him really lonely because he is new and doesn't have that many friends. I'm really scared that he is serious and one day will actually do something. I don't want to like refer him to counseling or anything. What should I say/do? (link)
| |
If someone is thinking about suicide, that is a definite signal that he is depressed. Children do commit suicide. This is beyond your ability to correct and he needs medical help. You can listen and be his friend, but you cannot expect yourself to be able to help him in the way that a doctor can. This kind of depression is dangerous. I would encourage him to contact someone, an emergency telephone hot line, his doctor's office, a school counselor, someone who has experience in diagnosing and treating depression.
|
|
I am a 35 year old male born in Texas. I am wondering if anyone has any idea if there is a state left does not require that you supply them with a social security number in order to recieve a drivers license. I believe that the social security number is the mark of the beast(Rev 13:16-17).I believe this issue is covered under Title VII of the Civil Rights Act of 1964, as amended. (link)
|
It seems that the federal government requires all states to collect SSN for drivers licenses. This article (url below) is dated 1997 but gives some information about how that law happened. It even mentions Christian beliefs as an objection to the law.
http://independenceinstitute.org/article.aspx?ID=614
It does state California and Massachusetts require SSN but don't display them on DL, but I guess that doesn't help much.
This next article is dated 2003, but it looks like no progress has been made so far in correcting the SSN situation.
http://independenceinstitute.org/article.aspx?ID=156
If you look around Independence Institute website, there are a lot of interesting articles about the SSN problem.
As far as states that don't require SSN for drivers licenses, it looks like there aren't any, because of federal law.
|
|
How long does it take for a question to post? I am wondering if my recent question dissappeared again. (link)
|
I think I figured it out.
If you are posting a question to a topic it appears immediately under that topic. If you are posting a question and it goes into an advice columnist box, it won't show up under the topics, but will show under the Your Questions link. If you post to Advicenators Admin, the topic, it shows up. If you post following the link Contact Us it goes into Advicenators Admin, but to a specific advice columnists box and doesn't show up under the topics.
|
|
my partner and i love our sex life, but she won't give me head like she used to. before she would try to deepthroat all the time and now she only sucks enough of it to shut me up. how can i bring out the animal that she usd to be? (link)
| |
Giving head is not the most fun thing in the world for a girl to do. The best part of it is knowing your partner is loving it. Otherwise, it really is hard work. The best way to get her to do it more often and show more enthusiasm, is to make her feel really loved and appreciated the best you can.
|
|
ok i have been playing soccer for 7 years is there a chance my hymen could have torn already because i was reading a sex questions and one person answered that if you are active in sports that your hymen has already torn? ALSO WHAT DOES IT FEEL LIKE AFTER THE HYMEN HAS TORN? i want to know if mine has torn or not (link)
|
Sometimes a hymen can be torn by strenuous activity or accidents. I think if you do something like that it would hurt, maybe not a lot, but some, and you would see a little blood.
The only way you will know if your hymen is torn is to have a doctor examine you and ask. I don't think it is worth going through that.
|
I am almost 13 years old and i havent started my period!! I know that you can get your period until the age of 16 or something like that but (i know this is a little freaky)what if you have hair down there? is that a sign? please help!
~help! (link)
|
If 13 is the average age to get your period, you are still ok. I would not worry about it.
Sometimes a lot of stress will delay your period.
|
i have been bleeding now for over a month.
I also bleed a little when i have sex?
but the blood dosent look like normal period blood it is a lot darker.Could i be pregnant?
thanx i would like some advice please.. from sam (link)
|
If your period has lasted a month, something is wrong. You should see a doctor. He may put you on birth control pills to regulate your periods. If you are already on pills, it may be the wrong dose for you.
Bleeding is not a symptom of pregnancy. Sometimes sex can cause bleeding if you are near your period.
Anyway, the best thing to do is see your doctor.
|
Hi, im 16 and wear a size 16/ 18, Though out my life i've been bullied and now i want to get my life back on track. I'm getting an exercise bike to use in the house and go to the gym for 2 hours a week. If and hopefully if i lose the wait how much sould i am to lose im a vegan so i ony eat friute and with the size i am it should just fall off so doctors say. But hoq much is dangerous. 10 lbs in a week? i really i want to be a size 8 in 6 montths for when i go to college i am good at exerciseing at the gym. Am i out of my reach????
please help if you've been in my sitionsion the advice is more then welcome. lots of love (link)
|
Don't loose any more than 3 pounds a week, because you may loose muscle, fluids, and other stuff you need for good health instead of fat. I heard somewhere that weight loss is 80% diet and 20% exercise. If you are vegan, be sure you get enough protein, with beans and soy products.
Also, exercise may turn fat into muscle, which weighs more. So it's possible to gain weight, but be a smaller size. This is a good thing. It means you are healthier.
I think each size is approximately 10 pounds. So from a size 16 to size 8 would be about 40 pounds. 6 months is a safe time frame for that.
|
|
is it wrong to hump someone if your in a VERY Godly relationship? 15/f (link)
|
Are you asking me about interpreting Christian beliefs? Who are you in "a VERY Godly relationship" with - God, the person you are "humping," or someone else? If you are talking about a Christian God, I think almost any person in authority in a church will tell you sex outside of marriage is discouraged.
My personal experience is that unless you have a very solid, trusting, and loving relationship with your partner, that has gone on for a while, you may regret having sex too soon. This has nothing to do with Christian morals, but following them may actually be to your advantage.
Getting completely into my interpretation of Christian beliefs - if you are a Christian, then you have the Holy Spirit dwelling in you. When you have sex with someone, you are uniting not just yourself, but also the Holy Spirit with that other person. God allows only one union between a man and woman, that has been sanctified. Outside of that you are hurting the Holy Spirit. If you are unable to keep from having sex outside of a sanctified union, you are not alone. That seems to be the biggest weakness in any Christian today, including preachers, priests, etc. The whole thing has to do with how committed you are to God.
(I got this question in my in-box twice so I am deleting the second question instead of answering it.)
|
Hi im one of your fellow advice columnist!
I'm asking this question because i'm desprete! (no offence) My mom has this hatrid for schools and so i'm home schooled but I don't get taught anything! Some of you may think this is great but I want to go to collage and my mom is excepting me have my GED when I turn 16 which is in 2 years. My mom says thats its my responsability to remind her to teach me. Its just that I don't like to remind her because all she does is give me the same stuff to that she has been giving me for the last 6 years. My mother REALLY depressed and I am having a hard time with her. this year when school starts I should be in 9th grade and in high school but I amm really scared about what to do! because if the state knew that I'm not getting any schooling they would take me away. I mean I'm getting to the point to where I'm going to tell the state. Please don't tell me tell my mother to put me in school because I have done that MANY times and trust me my mom isn't pretty when she is mad.
I have taught myself to read and write play the piano and many other things that I could learn to do in school. I am very advanced in piano and I write poetry and I have one that is published and I have storys published in magazines too. i am very good at cooking and baking. sewing.
So you see I'm not stupid but I cant go any futher now. I NEED to be in school.
I really could use your advice! i really would like an aults point of veiw on this but will take anybodys advice.
thankyou you can e-mail me at kutekrushkat@yahoo.com
signed
not stupid (link)
|
My younger daughter was home schooled because she wasn't learning anything in public schools. I put both daughters in a small inexpensive private school when my oldest was in 10th grade. She graduated from there (still not knowing much) and is now attending college. She is in her third year. My younger daughter stopped attending school in 9th grade. She was essentially self taught, passed her GED, and is also attending college. She is in her first year.
The home school program here requires you to keep records. They don't check them, but you need them in case they ask. If your mother cannot show a structured home school program, they will not necessarily take you away, but they will require you to attend public school.
There are correspondence courses that you can use. You can research on the internet for home schooling at the high school level and ask your mother to get them. They will give you enough information to pass the GED. With a GED you can enroll in a community college, and transfer to a regular college after that.
So you can improve the home schooling you are now getting. Or you can contact the state and force the issue of attending public schools. I don't know if that would be an improvement, considering my own experience.
|
my friend is getting married very soon . her problem is that she is very slim and he is fat. their height is almost same.
how without getting hurt she can make love with him (link)
| |
There are a lot of positions besides "man on top." They can experiment. If he is in good enough shape, he can still be on top if he can support himself and be careful not to put weight on her.
|
My 29 years old sister suffered from fibroadenoma, two and half years ago, which was removed surgically. Now, again she has felt a lump in that same portion. the size of the lump reduces after her periods. there is no pain, no discharge. but in the previous case,pain and discharge was there. she is also planning to get married very soon.
will it be advisable to marry with the lump?
What should she done?
Is it true that fibroadenoma disappears, when she will be pregnant?
Is there any non surgical method for this?
Please help (link)
|
Here is a website about fibroadenoma:
http://www.breastcancercare.org.uk/Breasthealth/Fibroadenoma
Since it is related to hormones, it may dissappear with pregnancy. As far as non-surgical treatment, her doctor is the best source of advice.
I don't see any reason to not get married. You may be more worried than she is. Researching and finding out more about it may make you more comfortable about her fibroadenoma.
|
|
thanx for the information i was the one about the marine biology and i live in florida. what part are you im in jax close to o.p (link)
| |
I'm in the Tampa Bay area, in Pasco County. The closest large 4 year college is USF.
|
|