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Q: i have a problem opening up with guys. it is kind of weird. i like guys and all but when i acually am with them (date) it seems to weird. like i go back in my shell. how do i keep from doing this?

It sounds like you are nervous. All you have to do is remember that he is nervous to, you not talking makes him even more nervous because then he has to come up with something to say. You should pretend that it isn't a date and that you are just best friends hanging out. You will be more open and you will be your self, which is a bonous! I hope I helped and remember that my inbox is always open. You don't have to rate, but it would be nice if you did. Thanks!

Q: Ok, I've liked the same guy for 3 years now. He just broke up with his girlfriend. I was so relieved, but now he has ANOTHER girlfriend and it's only one day later! AH! It hurts so bad because we've been friends so long & I guess he's just not seeing me in that way. I've droped thousands of hints, but he hasn't been picking them up. What I want to know is..he just recently got AIM (so he could talk 2 his last g/f) He kept it & IMs me whenever I'm on. I love that he IMs me, but he talks to me about how much he likes his new girlfriend and it agrivates the crap outta me! How do I get him to stop talking about her without hurting his feelings?
*Undeniably Unwanted*

I actually know what you are going through. And you know, there actually isn't an easy way to put it to him, so just tell him. It will help you feel better, and he will know that you believe that you can tell him things. Maybe he isn't getting the hints, but that is okay. Just know that he probably isn't tring to ignore them. Just don't get angry, he will come around! Take your time, and make sure to be careful with your feelings. Don't let your feelings take control, everything will happen in good time. I hope I helped and remember, my inbox is always open. you don't have to rate if you don't want to, but it would be nice if you did. Thanks.

Q: 16/m I started Junior year a few weeks ago, and I realised that I was not having as much fun as in Sophmore year... I couldn't figure it out at first, but I realised eventually that I was not talking to my friends as much, and had sunken back behind the plane of quietness once again. I worked hard to get through it Sophmore year, and I probably still would be in it if my scenario hadn't increased.
I have friends. Last year, myself and these friends were closely bonded. Well, 1 of them became drum major. As a result, he became involved with the duties, and with the other drum major. He's gone now, and we rarely talk to him. 2 of them had formed a band with 2 outsiders last spring. They are now just so involved, that all they do is talk about the band and hang out with each other. Another 2 got girlfriends, and no longer really speak to anyone but them. A sixth and a seventh are girl magnets, and never have really been with us. 1 is the opposite pole of a girl magnet, but tries to physically be attracted. AKA, he touches them and doesn't leave them alone.
That leaves 3 of us left. 1 of them is just, different, and never has had a true relationship with us. He's all of a person who makes a hundred jokes, yet has no substance for a friendsip... Then the last two are myself and one other guy, and we get along fine and have a close relationship (Friends.)
So, what do I do?

Just because you don't hang out as much, dosn't mean that you aren't friends. Call them, Email them, IM them, It doesn't really matter what you do, but stay in touch. Friends are interesting; you can not talk to them for three years and be just as close as you were before. Don't be wierd, if you remember them and want to talk to them, then they will want to talk to you. Unless they are just wierd and heartless. Just kidding! Just try, if it doesn't work out, try to make new friends, maybe even girls. They don't have to be Girlfriends, just girl-friends. HA, that probably sounded weird! I hope that it makes sence though. I hope that I helped, and remember that my inbox is always open. You don't have to rate if you don't want to, but it would be nice if you did. Thanks!

P.S.
Good luck!

Q: my cousins nd their dad are racist! soo much! like its so mean and i hate when they make fun of people! its really upsetting. theyre a LOT older than me (senior in hs and 3rd year in college) but were SOOO CLOSE!!! like they live at home and whatever so yea. but what should i do? theyre like the best cousins everevereververvEVER besides that!

should i just get over it?

You should talk to them and tell them how you feel. It isn't fair to you or them if you don't tell them. They don't know that it bothers you so they don't stop when they are around you. If they are sooooo cool, the would stop if they knew. Usually people have reasons to be racist, if you talk to them, you can see their piont of view, and then you can understand a little better. I'm not saying it will be okay for you, but you will understand their thoughts. Other than that, I don't know. I hope I helped, and remember that my inbox is always open. You don't have to rate if you don't want to, but it would be nice. Thanks.

Q: I was having dinner at a friend's house, and some other peole were thare, and we started talking about the dinner before the homecoming dance.
My friend invited a guy to dinner with her, her date, and her friends and family.
Then she suggested that I go as his date, but I said I didn't want to go even though I did. When me and her were talking about this, that guy pretended that he wasn't listening.
Then later on when someone asked him why he wasn't going to dinner with me, he said, "She didn't want to go."
Does that mean that he would have wanted to go with me? And that he likes me? Or was he just saying that?

(by the way, I'm a freshman and he's a junior.)

Thanks. I rate 5's.

It sounds to me like he has a little crush. He said that YOU didn't want to go, not that HE didn't want to go. I think that he was listening to the convorsation so that he would know your answer before he asked, If he asked. Then when you said no, he figured you didn't like him, so he decided to hide his feelings. Boys are just like us you know. They don't want to be put down either. Maybe you should reconsider, you did say that you actually did want to go with him, tell him that! It will do wonders for you and him, it will get it out in the open. If you are worried about your friends, don't! Who cares what they think, I know that you shouldn't, and neither should you. Go for it! I hope I helped, and remember that my inbox is always open. You don't have to rate if you don't want to, but it would be nice if you did. Thanks.

Q: I truely like this kid so much. I've known him for 4 years, and he knows I like him and such. Actually, last year in 7th grade, he asked me out. He was smiling although he said he was serious, but I said no because I figured that he was joking (he's that type of person). Than after he asked me out, he started doing weird stuff to me, and requesting I do things to him. For instance I would usually help him with his French homework, and he would ask that I sit on his lap. He would always hold my hand, try to kiss me, etc. Then he started to get worse, like ask me to have sex with him, flash him, go over to his house and in his room...

This year, he acts as none if it happened. He won't mention the slightest thing to me. That doesn't exactly bother me but it's weird. I still like him and it's not that he acknowlages me (because we're still best friends), but he doesn't like me this year like that.

I just wanted to know if anyone here thought that maybe he took advantage of me. Please help (easy 5's)

well, it sounds like the kind of person that I wouldn't go out with, because he was sending you some uncomfortable signals. But you should talk to him. Tell him how you feel. Ask him about it, he will prbably not admit it, but it is worth a try. It is never worth just ignoring or something. Make sure that there is no misunderstandings between you two. If you like him, persue it. You aren't getting any younger you know! Take a chance, it will be worth it. I hope I helped, and remember that my inbox is always open. You don't have to rate, but it would be nice if you did. Thanks!

Q: ok well tomorrow it is going to be 72 degress and i was wondering if i should bring a jackety with me to go to the mall.. i am walking to it and back. at night it is supposed to be 52 except i will be home by 6 pm. any advice. o and i am going to wear black pnats and a pinkish orangish t-shirt

you should bring it, but make sure that you bring one that you can tie around your waist, it will be a lot easyer to carry that way.

Q: how do u know when your in love or what does love feel like?

Believe me! When you are in love you can tell. You will be able to tell emedeately,you won't even have to think about it!

Q: (Hey death, it's Chelsea-chan) Alright, even though I'm pretty sure that this has died down... I have a little problem. Have you ever met my dog, Maisie? Yes... well my dad out of the blue told me that she was making his life miserable and told me that he was sending her away this Wednesday. I retaliated by locking myself in my room and crying really loudly... and getting really upset and stubborn. The next day I walked my dog AND scooped her poop. My dad hasn't mentioned changing his mind, but hasn't said anything about he Humane Association, either. I'm so scared of him that I can't really even say anything to him on the subject... help me!!!

Well, me having a dog, I know how hard that would be. I know that you are scared of him, you should talk to your dad, and ask him if he is still taking you dog, Maisie, on wednesday. If he sais yes you should ask him why, then once he tells you, repeat it so that he knows that you are listening, then try to compromise. If he sais no then tell him thank you like 100 times, and try to make sure that you keep your dog out of trouble. I hope I helped, and remember, my inbox is always open. You don't have to rate if you don't want to, but it would be nice if you did. Thanks!

Q: my boyfriend and i have been together for about 2 years now and im really upset tonight because he promised me he wasnt gonna go somewhere because todays our anniversary but then when he got here he told me he had to go and he couldnt help it. we got in a big fight before he left. i just had surgery and he wasnt able to be there because of his dad and this weeks been terrible. anyway we had a big fight and he said he was just gonna go so i could sleep and not be angry at him. and i havent talked to him since then and that was several hours ago and he said hed be back before then. i guess i dont really have a question, i just need someone to tell me something idk if anyone wants to talk on aim please leave me ur sn

I think that you should call him, and even if you don't feel like you did something wrong say sorry. if he is mad at you then that might help, just say that you are stressed. that shoulpd work. I don't know, you didn't really ask a question, but ya. okay, well I hope that i helped, and remember that my inbox is always open. You don't have to rate, but it would be nice if you did. thanks.

Q: I'll be brief. There's this one pretty girl I knew in Junior High; although we weren't offically an item, we were very close friends. During the time we knew each other, we didn't exchange phone numbers, email, or anything like that. To make a long story short, I got in trouble with the law and was kicked out of the seventh grade. After the ugly rehabilitation process, I was missing her ALOT, but eventually I had to get over it, and started high school on a fresh note. Today, I get a call, and it's her. Obviously, I'm stunned she called; she tells me she got my number out of the phone book. She said she missed me and we talked for a looong time about our lives right now. During our chat, she talked about how she thought she was worthless, how her mom was being treated for AIDS, and bascially, things aren't good for her. She also said she liked me then(she even used the word "soulmates"), and although I told her I did too, the words didnt quite come out the way I expected. And thats where my question comes in. I have little to no experience with women, and would like to know ways to assert myself confidently, while not acting like a total jerk. I also want to make her feel less worthless about herself, because I do care for her. On top of that, she has a boyfriend already. How can I do all of this, without her thinking I'm trying to intrude on their relationship? She wants me to call her tomorrow at 7, so answers would greatly be appreciated before then. But don't worry if not, I'm sure I'll eventually talk face to face with her soon. For your information, I'm 15, and male.

well, that is a pickle. I think that when you talk to her you should ask her how her boyfriend is. If she sounds annoyed or wierd when she talks about him, it might mean that she isn't too interested in him. no matter what she sais about him make sure that you respond. About being assertive, just don't be too shy, but don't like attack. treat her nice and don't act different when with your friends. don't ditch her to go with your friends, and always ask her before you do something that includes her. make sure you don't move too fast if she isn't ready, and always tell her how you feel. be there for her in times of need.
To make her not feel worthless, always give her compliments, and tell her that she isn't worthless. Give her comfort when she is having a hard time, and let her talk about her mom if she feels that she needs to. Whatever else is bad for her, try to help. I can't say much more because you didn't give me anymore info, but good luck and tell me how it goes. I hope I helped, and remember that my inbox is always open. You don't have to rate, but it woudl be nice if you did. Thanks.

Q: I'm so depressed my girl left me and I didn't really make many friends when I moved here from NC what can I do to cheer up or meet new friends?

I'm sorry you lost your girl. Well, you can try to be more outgoing. Find a person that doesn't look like they have many friends, or talk to someone in the naborhood. After a while you will make friends, just talk to people and be yourself.good luck. I hope I helped, and remember, my inbox is always open. You don't have to rate, but it would be nice. Thanks.

Q: okay, so im currently in a long distance relationship and i think the guy is getting bored with the whole e-mailing/calling thing. do you think it would make things better if i take 2 months to answer his latest e-mail..so he can start missing me more, and then write him a really cute e-mail? Or should i just keep writing every week? and if i do, how can i spice things up, is there any rules for what you should/shouldn't do when writing an e.mail?

I think that the first thing was alright, but he might think that you are mad at him. you might want to change it a little by talking about something else. I don't know what it is like, but it soulds horrible. I'm sorry that I couldn't help more, why don't you ask my good friend Pola_Bear, he would answer it for you. I hope he can help, and remember that my inbox is always open.

Q: What is the BEST energy drink for me to buy?

there is this really good energy drink that is called a rockstar. They work really well and really fast. they are a little bitter, but it is really good. I hope I helped and remember that my inbox is always open. You don't have to rate if you don't want to, but it would be nice. Thanks!

Q: There's this guy that i have known for a pretty long time. He's three years older than me and he keeps dropping hints that he likes me but i just don't feel the same way. He was walking outside school and i was inside and he kept staring at me through the window and wouldn't stop. Then he just acted wicked shy around me. I liked him like a few weeks ago but now i don't. Then there's this other guy Kolby. He's friends witht he first guy I mentioned and Kolby is still three years older than me. I think he's so cute and I really wanna actually get to meet him and sit down and talk to him. He seems so nice and he plays soccer just like i do. I was gonna ask the first guy to introduce me to him but no w i dont think i should. It's like a love triangle. Ok so here's the question. Should i ask the first guy whats going on and tell him I don't have feelings for hima nd try to hang out with Kolby more? I just need help with the whole situation! Sorry it's so long!

That's a tough one. Well, first you shouldn't leave the first guy hanging. He likes you and you can't just ignore him. You should tell him that you don't feel the same way about him, but you want to be friends. Then there's the second guy. Asking the first guy is a bd Idea, so you should just try to talk to the second guy on your own. Walk up to him and ask if he want's to talk. Make sure you introduce your self and get to know him better. You will have to tell the frist guy about the second, because if he is your friend then it is cruel not to tell him, and if you don't you shoudl know that the second guy will, and then the first guy won't trust you. If you don't think that that is a good idea, then you can think of something like it, and just try. I hope I helped, and remember that my inbox is always open. You don't have to rate, but it would be nice. thanks!

Q: okay me and my friend are starting a band.. im gonna be electric guitar.. her vocals and key board, and my sister drums.. we cant think of a name for our band.. so do you think you can help me out with some ideas.. thanks i rate 5's

I don't know, it kinda depends, but let me try. let's see... the O.T.T (the Over The Top) Ummm... I'm not very good. Black Water, umm... Devils Music. I don't know, what kind of things are you into? why don't you email me. I my email is on my column. I'll try to think of more.

Q: how can u tell if a guy likes u??

you can tell, when he flirts. Does he call you names, tease you, trip you, ect.? Well, I guess it depends on him, but those are usually flirting styles. You could also ask him. Don't have your friends ask him, because for one he won't answere them, and two, it is cowardly. There really isn't a perfect way to ask a boy or to even tell if a boy likes you. I wish that there was, and I wish you good luck. I hope that I helped, and remember that my inbox is always open. You don't have to rate, but it would be nice. Thanks.

Q: 14/f my friend's dad just died this morning. what can i do to show her that i care and that i'm here for her? i have no idea what to say to her because i've never experienced a real loss..

Just let her know that you're there for her. She is going to be sad and confused, so let her know that she can talk to you. Don't push too hard when trying to talk to her. She will get mad or annoyed. Her emotions are going to be taking over, so try to stay happy around her. Help her get her mind off of it by taking her to a movie or just hanging out. The more she thinks about it the worse she will get. Make sure that she knows that you are not uncomfortable with talking about him, and help her remember the happy and fun times she had with him. Try to invite her to things, even if you know she will say no, don't leave her out of the friendship circle, even though her dad has died, it doesn't mean that she won't notice that you didn't invite her. I don't know her coping style, but no matter what, let her know that you have two shoulders for her to cry on. She will get through it eventually, and she will thank you for all you have done. Also, make sure that she knows that it wasn't her fault. I know that when my dad died, I thought that I could have stoped it. She won't know that she didn't do anything.I hope I helped, and remember that my inbox is always open.You don't have to rate, but it would be nice. thanks.

Q: ok well there's this guy...and i think i might like him! well... i used to really hate him, but i barely knew him...and now that i know him really well, we're really good friends- and hes so cute! he has a girlfriend who is in high school now (we are 8th graders) but he flirts with me a lot, he pretends to ask me out in a kidding way and he like tells me i'm hot, he actually flirts with a lot of girls though, especially one of my best friends, but i totally like him! another thing is that he used to go out with another one of my friends, who i am kind of making up. she really hates him now, though,and this is just so weird. I don't know what I should do! i like this guy sooo much! please help me! i rate ♥

I think that you should talk to him about it. He flirts with you, you should see if he really likes you. And don't do one of those have the friends ask him thing, it isn't very cool. If you want to know, you ask him. With him having a girlfriend already, I don't know what to say, it sounds like he isn't really with her if he is flirting with a bunch of other girls, but maybe his girlfriend is okay with that. But the worst thing to do is to not do anything. You can strieghten it out, just think about what to do, and do it! I hope I helped, and remember, My inbox is always open. You don't have to rate, but it would be nice!thanks

Q: ok...halloween is my favorite hoiday...and i have gone as so many things i cant think of another one....i want some thing scary and unpredictable...last year i was a vampire...and the year befor that i was bret farve ( i live in wisconsin...dont ask ...) and ya ive prety much done every thing... so i cant think of any thing...i got fake eyelashes and stuff...so maybe a could be a hooker ..lmao that would be kinda fun...but ya i need help...just give me something out ragous and scarey/funny (either will be kool) and maybe a place where you seen materials for the costume...thank you soo much and please...no bull shit answers

okay. How about being something cheep and goofy. You could be a hooker, that is what my friend is being. It is a good, original idea. You could be like a pregnant woman. Or there is a cerial killer, but instead of the person that kills people, you kill cerial. You get it? I think that it is pritty funny, it is cute actually. I don't know, let's see, what else? Or maybe an a** kicking girl, like catwoman for instance. I don't think that is too wierd but maybe not your stile. well there's my ideas for now. Hope I helped, and remember, my inbox is always open. you don't have to rate if you don't want to but it would be nice.

bio

Ok, so I haven't been on in a while and I'm just starting to get back to where I can give advice again. I had a rough spot there and I just couldn't give advice without seeming rude, so I decided to take a break. My real name is Shannon and I live in Utah. I am 15 and I love animals and friends. I love to act and know a bit about those kinds of things. I would love to help you out and hope that I can. But there is one thing, you have to ask a question for me to answer! Just kidding. Hope you have a great day!