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Friends Drifting...
16/m I started Junior year a few weeks ago, and I realised that I was not having as much fun as in Sophmore year... I couldn't figure it out at first, but I realised eventually that I was not talking to my friends as much, and had sunken back behind the plane of quietness once again. I worked hard to get through it Sophmore year, and I probably still would be in it if my scenario hadn't increased.
I have friends. Last year, myself and these friends were closely bonded. Well, 1 of them became drum major. As a result, he became involved with the duties, and with the other drum major. He's gone now, and we rarely talk to him. 2 of them had formed a band with 2 outsiders last spring. They are now just so involved, that all they do is talk about the band and hang out with each other. Another 2 got girlfriends, and no longer really speak to anyone but them. A sixth and a seventh are girl magnets, and never have really been with us. 1 is the opposite pole of a girl magnet, but tries to physically be attracted. AKA, he touches them and doesn't leave them alone.
That leaves 3 of us left. 1 of them is just, different, and never has had a true relationship with us. He's all of a person who makes a hundred jokes, yet has no substance for a friendsip... Then the last two are myself and one other guy, and we get along fine and have a close relationship (Friends.)
So, what do I do?
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being quiet was something i had trouble with for a while as well. the first thing you need to do is ask yourself why you don't speak up, because when you have something to say, then say it! sometimes you need to accept that your a more tranquil person than others. next, call up your friends and ask them if they want to hang out, maybe mentioning that 'you havn't done anything in a while' and then see what thier reaction is. sometimes people change so maybe a good change would be to find more friends. just remember one thing..be yourself!
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Its sometimes really hard in the second half of high school as friends and interests change.
If these guys are your best friends make plans to hang out, maybe on a Sunday or one day after school that you are all free. Some of my closest friends are people I don't see all the time but the ones I have the best time with when I do see them.
In the meantime, what do you like to do? Are you interested in writing, or sports or music? If you get involved in things that you are interested in you will find others who have similar interests. It would just add to your group of friends.
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Just because you don't hang out as much, dosn't mean that you aren't friends. Call them, Email them, IM them, It doesn't really matter what you do, but stay in touch. Friends are interesting; you can not talk to them for three years and be just as close as you were before. Don't be wierd, if you remember them and want to talk to them, then they will want to talk to you. Unless they are just wierd and heartless. Just kidding! Just try, if it doesn't work out, try to make new friends, maybe even girls. They don't have to be Girlfriends, just girl-friends. HA, that probably sounded weird! I hope that it makes sence though. I hope that I helped, and remember that my inbox is always open. You don't have to rate if you don't want to, but it would be nice if you did. Thanks!
P.S.
Good luck!
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I have two teenagers and I have seen friends come and I have seen friends go. I worried when I would see some go, other times I was glad to see some go. I asked them about this and why. The didnt have much to say about it other than they had different interests. You see. It happens. Drifting is inevitable. Teenagers like to be around others they can identify with. It helps to understand who you are. This doesnt mean that you are no longer friends, and as long as you continue to see yourselves as friends despite differences your friendship can actually grow. Every once in a while I will see some old friends trying to reconnect. Take this as an oppurtunity to seek out others like you who may be going through the same things you are going through. You'll be meeting new people thoughout your whole life just add more people to your list of friends.
Eva J
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Invite all of them to do something together. Just you guys. No band members, no girlfriends, no one else. See how things go. One of 2 things will/can happen
1. Everyone will realize what you guys had and try to spend more time together
2. It's going to be hard to find something to do that everyone likes and everyone will realize how much everyone else has changed
If the first one happens then, good for you. Y'all have over come what most high school friends/ex friends aren't able to. If the 2nd one happens then you'll probably going to have to accept everyone's changes and who they've decided to become. You might be able to hang out with them individually but probably not all at the same time. Good luck
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