Hi, I call myself Ignatz after Dan Herriman's character in the old "Krazy Kat" comic strip. I'm 44, father of 3, husband to one, crazy about music and books and food and movies and history and martial arts. I've had some wild and crazy times in my life, and I figure I might as well put in some of my perspective.
I promise not to talk down to anyone or make fun,and I promise not to BS anyone. If you're old enough to ask a frank question, you're old enough to get a frank answer. Oh, and if you ask me a question directly, please be patient. I'll get back to you as soon as I can. My life's a bit hectic. :-)
Gender: Male
Location: St. Louis, MO
Occupation: Professional dad
Age: 44
Member Since: October 29, 2007
Answers: 328
Last Update: January 23, 2015
Visitors: 35710
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where can I find the best HP fan fiction? (link)
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harrypotterfanfiction.com has a lot of good stuff, as does fanfiction.mugglenet.com. There are "Recommended Fiction" sections on both sites, and if you check the "Favorites" sections of authors you like, you can find even more HP goodness.
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is there a website where someone can listen to song remixes? i TRIED GOOGLING,THANKS, but nothing really came up. does anyone know any good sites / programsss? (link)
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You may be googling the wrong thing. Try googling mashups, and you'll run across the websites of individual deejays doing some very interesting stuff. Check out lenlow.com and djbc.com especially.
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im getting a tattoo soon. im looking for how to say "always [or forever] faithful" in chinese symbols. would anyone happen to know? please dont say try google. 1- i already did and didnt get anything and 2- i want to make sure its accurate because any dummy can post some nonsense on google. if no one knows where could i go to find out? because i definitely dont know any one that knows chinese =[. thanks ! (link)
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Check out a site called zhongwen.com. It's a site dedicated to teaching Chinese writing. There's a search engine on there that should generate the characters you want. Don't rely on the tattoo parlor for accurate Hanzi characters. For a good laugh (and cautionary evidence) check out hanzismatters.com. It's a catalogue of the misuse of Chinese & Japanese characters in Western culture.
Hope this helps.
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Okay this is hard for me to do because usually im the one giving the advice. But i guess there comes a time when every advice columnist needs some advice from someone else. I've been married for 2 years and when my husband and i got together i liked to watch porn and he said he hated it. He would never watch it with me and he would always say that it didnt interest him. Several times now i have found porn sites on our computer and i confronted him about it. He says that he was looking for ideas for our sex life. But its like sex story sites and one is a naughty friends site. So recently i found more on there after he says he wouldnt do it anymore. They are pretty much the same sites but one new one is daily jack off stories. I really dont know if i should say something about it or not. He always gets mad when i bring it up. so i dont know if i should risk the fighting. I also have to put in that in the past he would chat with other girls sexually. But i do have to say that he told them he was married. I know for sure that he didnt call them baby or tell them he loved them or anything like that but that time he said he was role playing and getting ideas. So is he lying to me about it or is he really looking for new things for our sex life? Please give me your honest advice as i am honest with the people i give advice to.
Signed....
I think my husband lies about porn!!!! (link)
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Geez, I feel like Dan Savage right now.
When he said he didn't like porn, he may have been trying to come across as an enlightened, sensitive guy in order to impress you. Either that, or else he thought you might consider him a complete freak because of his tastes. The chatting with other women is something of a concern: even if he says he's married, that doesn't mean it's OK, unless you have specifically approved it. (I have some polyamorous friends, and that's the rule they use. As long as everybody knows and is OK with it, go do who and what you like.) He may be getting off on the fantasy of being a single guy again. If you're not cool with it, he needs to stop.
Is his consumption of porn affecting your sex life? Are you unhappy with the way things are going? Does he spend more time one-handed surfing than he does with you? If not, then I wouldn't worry too much about him using porn per se. If him looking at porn doesn't bother you, then tell him, so he doesn't have to make promises to you that he won't/can't keep.
You definitely need to sit down and lay out some ground rules. But start off with a positive experience: "Look, I know you like porn, so do I, so let's check some stuff out together." After you've recovered from the experience, then you can get into the nitty-gritty. Lying is not cool, chatting with other women is not cool, the stuff involving balloon animals is definitely not cool, whatever you two decide.
Hope this helps.
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im looking for a song that describes someone who feels like noone understands them and they just want to move away. i have the song disappear by the summer obsession and down the road by plain white t's.
thanks;;
hopeless (link)
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This is kind of old-school, but check out "Any World I'm Welcome To" by Steely Dan, "Fly By Night" by Rush, and "Solsbury Hill" by Peter Gabriel.
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What's some songs that have to do with not being stable right now? Like, you just lost your best friend and you don't know what to do with yourself kinda feeling? I'm more so into acoustic alternative stuff. Thankks :) (link)
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Just about anything by Tom Waits is good, but I'd especially focus on his earlier work. Check out his albums "Blue Valentines", "Foreign Affairs" and "Nighthawks at the Diner". Sort of beat-jazz stuff, but a lot of alternative artists were partly inspired by Tom Waits.
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I've always had a 6th sense for detecting peoples body lang. and things like that. I also get these feelings that I have to protect someone...
I'm a 15/m and I feel like I have to protect this guy. And I don't know why or how or when b/c he barely talks to me. His life is not the best and I think that's why I have to 'take care of him', kinda like a brother... but the guy won't talk to me and it's very hard for him to trust people b/c of family issues... idk what to do... normally I would just let it go right? ... WRONG!!!
I can't stop thinking about him... and it's not like I like the guy... I just can't stop wondering if he's ok today, or if he's smiling and happy. I feel like I have to play the part of father? I don't know what to do! Why can't I just stop thinking and worrying about him!?
What should I do? Have you ever felt like you had to protect someone that you've never met?
Please Help!
Thanks in advance.
-Andy (link)
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Usually in a case like this, and if you believe in such things, prayer is the best thing. You don't know him, you've got a rather sketchy idea of his circumstances, and if you go barging in wanting to help he may get skittish or even insulted. Ultimately, you've got no responsiblity for him, unless he's family. If you get directly involved in his life, you make yourself responsible for him, and that may be more than you can handle. Shoot him some good vibes, say some prayers for him, and watch what happens. Either that, or just start hanging with him a little more, and be as reliable as possible. If he finds that he can count on you for small things, he'll start trusting you for larger ones.
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hey i'm looking for songs about a boyfriend or spouse that has died (like gone away by the offspring and pictures of you by the cure). anything slow would be great, alternative music is really good too but i'm open to any suggestions. thank you so much. (link)
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"What's Good" - Lou Reed
"Keep Me In Your Heart for A While" - Warren Zevon
You can find both videos on YouTube; just search by the titles.
Hope this helps.
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Adam and Eve were white right..? Then how did chinese/mexican/etc. people get here? And Adam and Eve didn't have any daughters..so did Cane and Able do it with their mom to keep the population growing?! (link)
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Okay. Biblical literalism strikes again. Genesis is not intended to be taken as literal history. The stories of the Creation and the subsequent events are intended to explain certain aspects of Israelite culture, religion, and cosmology. If you examine the stories literally, they're full of logical holes. If you look at them as metaphor, then they make sense.
Cain and Abel can be seen as the conflict between agrarian and nomadic societies. The early Israelites were wandering shepherds, and they frequently came in conflict with farmers in established towns. The story of God favoring Abel's sacrifice over Cain's is a way of justifying their life. (God wants us to be shepherds, rather than farmers). There are other aspects to the story, depending on the interpretation you give it.
Short answer: if you take Genesis (or most of the Bible, for that matter) literally, it won't make much sense. If you treat it as metaphor, and study exegesis, then it'll make much more sense.
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ok so im a tom boy and i say im pretty freakin awsome im 15 and im girl you might of figured that cause you would hope that a boy acted like a boy any way the freakin stupid kids at school are always saying stuff like you should wear make up you are lesbian and shit and stuff i get in fist fights all the time i dont care my theme song is bad reputation one day i got backed up into a wall because of this group of "popular" girls and they were like why are you a tom boy you should act like a girl why dont you wear make up and one girl got out a bag of make up and she was like i put some blush and lip stick and shit on you and you will look great and i punched her and ran and then one time i was invited to a sleep over and a bunch of girls were there and they all were tryin to get me to look nice and shit and i hit a girl and her brother came in a gave me a black eye and one day 2 boys followd me home and when i got to my yard they beet me up and i cralwed through the door coverd in blood and my parents had to call the police i am so tierd of people doing stuff to me and calling me lesbian and making me fuckin mad I AM SO FUCKIN TIERD OF IT HELP ME PLEASE (link)
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Like others have said, it's your choice not to be super-girly if you don't want. That choice deserves respect. You should definitely file official complaints with school administration: it's their responsibility to make sure the school environment is safe. Don't let them brush you off or blame you for being assaulted. Keep on them, and file charges on anyone who physically assaults you.
At the same time, you seem to have a lot of undirected rage. Have you considered a good martial arts school? Karate helped me get through my own angry adolescence with a minimum of problems, because I had a focus and outlet for all the crap I was going through. It also taught me a great way to handle conflicts: "If you are confronted, walk away. If you are followed, go home. If they follow you home, slam the door in their faces. If they break down the door, kill them." (A little extreme, perhaps, but it does give a good context for escalating responses.) Martial arts training will provide some relief from the constant tension, and give you tools to deal calmly with people trying to mess with you. If nothing else, it'll help you deal with the sudden surprise attacks.
Hang in there, work with your parents and the school administration, and learn the fine arts of whup-ass. Good luck.
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My baby is having a problem with getting rid of a diaper rash.
I have tried the following:
-Diaper rash ointments such as, A+D, Desitin (Zinc Oxide), and pretty much any other diaper rash ointment I can get out of the store.
-Corn starch and baby powder with cornstarch.
-Gold Bond medicated powder.
-Gold Bond Cream.
-Using baby wipes only when wet washrags are unavailable.
-Of course, diaper changes more frequent than normal.
-Letting it air out. (Diaperless crawling baby doesn't work so hot.)
-Using a blow dryer to dry the area.
I have gotten rid of most of the rash, but there are places left on his bottom that is still red and sore.
It isn't severe enough for me to feel he needs to go to the doctor, or trust me, we would be there already.
He seldom gets rashes, and when he does, they are usually difficult to completely get rid of. This one is being especially stubborn.
I know the cause already.
He is eating solid foods for three meals a day now, at 30 ounces of milk a day, 6 ounces of 100% fruit juice a day, plus his favorite snack, shredded wheat, a couple of times a day. Which means, the more he eats, the more frequently he moves his bowels.
(In case you are wondering, his pediatrician is aware of how much he consumes in a day, and says he is right where he needs to be on that.)
He isn't consuming anything new for it to be caused by allergic reaction. He is prescribed Benedryl to take in the event that happens.
He isn't ever left wearing dirty diapers, it is just that the sensitive skin on his bottom isn't used to all that pooping, which is recently 1-2 times daily.
So that is all of the information I can think of that can be helpful for you to help me.
Any suggestions of other home remedies I can try to get rid of this rash?
(link)
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There is an outside chance that he's got a yeast infection, similar to athlete's foot or jock itch. My son gets these on a regular basis. An antifungal cream such as Desenex or Tinactin (anything with tolnaftate in it) should help to clear things up. Use it for the full ten days, or it'll keep coming back. And Dr. Boudreau's Butt Paste is a godsend.
Hope this helps.
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16/f
Hey everyone, I really need help with the details of planning a vacation for five people! My parents said on spring break if we go away I will be allowed to bring my two best friends. I am sixteen and both of my friends will be seventeen by the time we leave. We would like to book a packaged trip to somewhere hot (not as far as Europe, and not to Hawaii). I have been looking online but I don`t understand how to find a trip that allows five people, since we are all considered adults. We do not want to go on a cruise either. Does anyone have any good websites or search tips for me? Thanks, any insight is greatly appreciated! Any suggestions on where to go would be a big help as well. =) (link)
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You might want to consider renting a house for a week somewhere. Puerto Rico or the US Virgin Islands are nice places, exotic enough to be really different, but not out of the country. My in-laws book a condo in Akumal, Mexico every year, and that accomodates six to eight adults and a few kids. Google "house rentals" for the location you wnat, and you should be able to find something.
Also, when you're checking these websites, make sure you tell them you're booking multiple rooms.
If all else fails, talk to a travel agent. That's what they're there for.
Hope this helps.
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im thinking of doing my school's talent show in spring. maybe solo, or with my friend. can you give me good ideas of songs i can sing solo, and songs i can sing with my friend? im in 8th grade and a girl (if its not obvious). and i sing... well its hard to describe, like i can be alto and then kinda soprano sometimes-ish. and please dont say songs like "Fallin" by alicia keys.. like not TOO mainstream but not TOO weird either.
thanks! :) (link)
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What kind of music do you like? Is your friend male or female?
If you like country, for example, you might look into Patsy Cline's "Crazy". If you're into more straightforward performance pieces, check out "Song of Bernadette" as performed by Jennifer Warnes on the album "Famous Blue Raincoat". For jazz, there are no better models than Ella Fitzgerald and Billie Holliday. "I'm A Fool to Love You" is an incredible song, and pretty easy.
For duets for two women, "By Your Side" from 'Godspell' is good. For a male-female duet, "I Never Talk To Strangers" by Tom Waits and Bette Midler is really good, and quite funny. The "Try the Priest" duet from "Sweeney Todd" would be immediately recognizable, but would probably earn you a long conversation with the school counselor. :)
Hope this helps.
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14/f. i am just so confused latley and i dont no what to do or think or anything. i dont even no who i am anymore. okay so for some odd reason i am like so majorly attracted to gay guys. like i love them so much. i think it might be since my brother is gay so it made me appreciate them more? but i have no idea. so i went out with a gay guy and i new he was gay, but eventually since he was gay we broke up because he wasn't attracted to me in that way, obviously since i was a girl. so were friends now. but whenever i see a gay guy or anything my heart just skips a beat and i cant take my eyes off of them, even if their not all that cute. i dont no what to do and i dont no my problem. im not attracted to any other guys, at all. i'm not attracted to girls, so im not a lesbian, at least i think. is god trying to tell me something? i have no idea what to even think anymore! there is absolutley no other guy i am attracted to except if their gay. please, anything will help. thank you! (link)
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Here's my amateurish 2 cents:
Could it be that you're looking for a safe relationship with a man? Recalling my own teenage years, I wasn't exactly the most sensitive, refined fellow at 14. (Geez, I was a real knuckle-dragger.)
Possibly, you're looking for somebody who isn't going to act like a Neanderthal in public, who isn't going to look at other women, somebody who's reasonably sensitive and gentle and who isn't afraid to show emotions. Or I could be completely wrong. You might want to make a list of all the things you like in gay boys, and see what that reveals to you. Chances are, there are certain qualities you're looking for in a man, and it may take a while for the straight boys to develop them.
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Hi I am 14/f and i am a tom boy i wont wear my hair down or wear a spot of pink or purple and i wont wear make up and i have foot ball practice after school (oh and this is the first time i have asked a quistion i share this acount with a friend) i have never had a boyfriend i only have 2 friends at school and all the boys tease me they call me man girl and lesbian and stuff like that and the girl are always playing pranks on me like one time they stoll my jornal and football diary (my football diary is for the things i did wrong so i can correct them and advode them) my parents are divorced and i cut and im anorexic cause all the girls at school say im fat and every time i look in the mirror i think they are right i want to be like all the other girls skinny pretty have boyfriends wear make up i just dont know how i really want help please help (link)
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Wow. You've got a lot to handle here. I hope I can help.
Anyway, the first thing you must remember is that there's nothing wrong with you. The girls at school are using whatever weapons they can to make you feel bad, just because you won't conform. It still hurts, and what with your problems at home sometimes the only remedy you can find is to hurt yourself. "I'd rather feel bad than feel nothing at all." You might want to talk to an adult you trust about the food issues and the cutting. These are serious problems, serious enough to require professional help.
Now, I'm no shrink, but it seems that you're rejecting the images of femininity that you're presented with (skinny, pretty, made up, pink and purple clothes, no athletic ability). Fortunately, femininity is flexible enough to accomodate all sorts of women. Rather than trying to be like all the other fembot zombies at school, try being elegant. Dress a little older than everyone else, and go for classic looks rather than the latest fashions. Think Marlene Dietrich, Isabella Rosselini, Audrey Hepburn, (heck, Audrey Tatou!). Check out thrift stores and resale shops for funky clothes that make you lok good. If all else fails, learn how to sew simple clothing. It's easier than you might think, and it gives you direct control of your look. (I learned how years ago, and I've never regretted it.)
Remember that you're young. The next few years will bring on a lot of changes. It's okay to not have a boyfriend now. Play football, experiment a little, find things that really fulfill you, and, above all things, EAT!
Hope this helps.
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Where is United Kingdom? like what language do they speak? Are they British? And oh, What do British people speak? I'm really curious.
United Kindom is where? And ow is it different and the same from United states? (link)
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Okay, geography lesson time.
The United Kingdom is an island just north of France, comprised of the kingdoms of Britain, Wales, Scotland, and Northern Ireland. Each was an independent country at one time or another, but were all brought under the British crown by conquest or by treaty, or sometimes both.
The official language is English, with dialects of Gaelic spoken in Ireland, Scotland and Wales. Other languages are spoken by immigrant groups, just like anywhere else. The differences between the US and the UK are extensive; read the Wikipedia article and watch BBC America to get an idea.
Hope this helps.
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Who is this guy and what exactly does he do? The only thing people ever say about him are sentences similar to these...
"Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris only recognises the element of surprise"
When Chuck Norris jumps in the ocean he doesn't get wet, the ocean gets Chuck Norris'd
CHUCK NORRIS DOES NOT WEAR A CONDOM
because
THERE IS NO PROTECTION FROM CHUCK NORRIS. (link)
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Chuck Norris is an old-school karate champion and action-film star. He got his start in the old bare-knuckle karate tournaments in the '60s, then started acting in cheap Hong Kong action movies playing the villain. He got his big break in "Return of the Dragon", fighting Bruce Lee. He made more cheap martial-arts movies in the 70s and started developing a cult following. In the '80s he branched out into action movies ("Delta Force", "Missing in Action", etc.) then started doing "Walker, Texas Ranger" for television in the '90s. Wikipedia has a complete biography on him. The stuff you've been hearing comes from the Chuck Norris Fact Generator, which just makes up all sorts of weird, funny stuff about how tough Chuck Norris is.
Hope this helps.
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Hello I'm a 13 year old female in a bit of a dilemma.
I get singing lessons and is pretty good at singing now but now I want to take up martial arts. But the thing is I can't do both because my dad can't afford both. I really like singing but I also want to learn how to fight.
Which should I pick? If martial arts which type e.g. karate, judo etc. (link)
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Ah, someone else with multiple interests. This is workable: I should know, I did the same thing.
As far as the music goes, does your school have a choral music program? If it does, get into it. You won't get the one-on-one coaching you'd get in private music lessons, but you'll be able to retain the skills you've already gained and learn some new ones, like how to blend. If there's no music program at school, look for a church or youth chorus. If nothing else, have your music teacher give you advice on how to maintain your chops without continuing lessons. (One thing that worked for me: singing along with records. Copying the baritone solos in "The Messiah" taught me a lot about breath control.)
As far as martial arts go, that's a very personal choice. A lot of it depends on what's available in your area (of course), on your personal temperament, and what you want to achieve. If you're looking for a system that will teach you practical self-defense, go with krav maga, Brazilian jujitsu, Indonesian silat, ying jow pai, hung gar, or Jook Lum praying mantis kung fu. If you want something more suited to fitness and winning tournaments, take up tae kwon do or capoeira. If you're interested in traditional martial arts that may not have much practical application, go with tai chi, aikido, Shaolin kung fu, or ninjutsu.
In all cases, ask questions of the teacher. Ask about how they got interested in that particular style, how long they've been training, who their teachers were, and how long it takes to become an expert. Avoid schools that say you'll become a black belt in two years, or whatever. If anyone insists that you sign a contract, leave. Ask what organizations they're involved in, and Google the instructor's name. Take a trial class or two and see what you think. Find a place you're comfortable with.
Good luck, and I hope this helps.
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can anyone recommend a piano piece that's sad, slow, and mournful? i'm looking for a piece to play and i'm a sucker for anything slow, minor, and with weird harmonies :) thanks! (link)
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If you're up for a challenge, check out Thelonious Monk's "'Round Midnight". It's not reeeealllly sloooow, but there's some challenging dissonances, and since it's a classic jazz piece it should be easy to find the sheet music. Either that or else Charles Mingus' "Goodbye Pork Pie Hat". Also look for Tom Waits' musical theater pieces: "Frank's Wild Years", "The Black Rider", "Alice", and "Blood Money". Any one of those shows will provide slow, mournful, really freakin' weird songs.
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does anyone know of any songs i can put on my ipod that are like ones to get you pumped up before a sports game...i play club volleyball (women 15f) and was just wondering...ill take anything! thanks (link)
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Let's get weird here:
"Blitzkrieg Bop" - The Ramones
"Dance to the Music" - Sly and the Family Stone
"Get Up on the Down Stroke" - Funkadelic
"Everyday Sunshine" - Fishbone
"Higher Ground" - Red Hot Chili Peppers
"I Wish" - Stevie Wonder
"Fiesta" - The Pogues
"Get Up Off That Thing" - James Brown
"18 Wheels and a Crowbar" - BR5-49
"Lust for Life" - Iggy Pop
"Army of Me" - Bjork
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