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i just want to be like the other girls
Hi I am 14/f and i am a tom boy i wont wear my hair down or wear a spot of pink or purple and i wont wear make up and i have foot ball practice after school (oh and this is the first time i have asked a quistion i share this acount with a friend) i have never had a boyfriend i only have 2 friends at school and all the boys tease me they call me man girl and lesbian and stuff like that and the girl are always playing pranks on me like one time they stoll my jornal and football diary (my football diary is for the things i did wrong so i can correct them and advode them) my parents are divorced and i cut and im anorexic cause all the girls at school say im fat and every time i look in the mirror i think they are right i want to be like all the other girls skinny pretty have boyfriends wear make up i just dont know how i really want help please help
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Wow. You've got a lot to handle here. I hope I can help.
Anyway, the first thing you must remember is that there's nothing wrong with you. The girls at school are using whatever weapons they can to make you feel bad, just because you won't conform. It still hurts, and what with your problems at home sometimes the only remedy you can find is to hurt yourself. "I'd rather feel bad than feel nothing at all." You might want to talk to an adult you trust about the food issues and the cutting. These are serious problems, serious enough to require professional help.
Now, I'm no shrink, but it seems that you're rejecting the images of femininity that you're presented with (skinny, pretty, made up, pink and purple clothes, no athletic ability). Fortunately, femininity is flexible enough to accomodate all sorts of women. Rather than trying to be like all the other fembot zombies at school, try being elegant. Dress a little older than everyone else, and go for classic looks rather than the latest fashions. Think Marlene Dietrich, Isabella Rosselini, Audrey Hepburn, (heck, Audrey Tatou!). Check out thrift stores and resale shops for funky clothes that make you lok good. If all else fails, learn how to sew simple clothing. It's easier than you might think, and it gives you direct control of your look. (I learned how years ago, and I've never regretted it.)
Remember that you're young. The next few years will bring on a lot of changes. It's okay to not have a boyfriend now. Play football, experiment a little, find things that really fulfill you, and, above all things, EAT!
Hope this helps.
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hello :) don't worry about the boyfriend thing. im an extremely girly girl and have only had 1 bf. TRUST ME, your better off withouth one. and girls are cruel. stay true to yourself, and dont change just because you want to be like everyone else.
i hope everything gets better, and please stop cutting and start eating.
youll regret it.
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im 13/f
When i read this i was scared out of my mind at how similar our stories are:-im a tom boy,i dont wear my hair down,ive had 1 bf but it wasnt serious,my name is chantelle so i get mantelle,there was a stupid rumour that went around saying that im a lesbian,im not exactly skinny as and i cut sometimes.So now u know what i mean when i said our stories are similar.Anyways the girls at your school sound like bitches.anyway i just accept that im different to them people and am happy for it.Seriously how boring would it be if we were all the same.And occasionally i laugh to myself when they try so hard to put me down.You just gotta stay positive. :P
As for the cutting u gotta try n stop its hard but worth it.
And as for the anorexic thing-ive never had that problem, hey im a wog food is my friend :)- anyways your probably not that big.people jst pick on the tiniest things.
All in all dont stress too much over it and stay positive.
Hope i helped.
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Honestly, be yourself. You shouldn't want to be like those girls. You say they're "skinny and pretty" yeah but that's only on the outside, I bet you're the better person on the inside. It's better to be hated for you are than loved for who you aren't.
If YOU truly want to wear makeup etc but not to like change who you really are, then I say go for it. If you think you're 'fat' just exercise and eat better because cutting and being anorexic isn't going to fix it, and isn't going to make you happier, it will only make you weaker. And trust me.. because I know what you're going through, I've felt the same way. Seriously, feel free to ask me more about this because I'd be real glad to help!
-avalon (:
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Why would you want to be like the girls who are pranking you and making you feel bad for being who you are. There is nothing wrong with liking football, and being a tom boy. You are young yet. My niece is a tomboy, and she is about your age. She is just getting into make-up. But if you want to be more like them, you can try wearing your hair down, or doing something nice with it. You could also start wearing some make-up. Not alot if you are uncomfortable with it, but a little bit to start with. Try adding some pink and purple to your outfits. Just because you play football, doesn't mean you can't dress like the other girls during school.
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you shoudl not change yourself to fit their mold. if you play football it seems you are gonna get enough excersize to not not eat. you should definatly ignore them
there is nothing wrong with. frankly i would be your friend
you seem determined in football and thats good, and i bet you are a good player too
next time those girly girls say anything you should say well if you really feel that way then you should try catching a football!
i also think you should try experimenting new looks for your hair and just show them you are pretty. :)
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