Good day everyone.
I am a nursing student. My ultimate goal is to be a travel nurse.
I am happily married for over 12 years and have 3 children: ages 6, 4, and 2. Family is the most important thing in the world and I want to help families work out problems so they do not have to be torn apart.
If your family is as important to you as mine is to me, get the help you need. If you do not like my advice, I respect that but look for someone that works for your needs.
Your family is worth it!
Gender: Female
Location: Ohio
Occupation: Home maker/ nursing student
Age: 31
Member Since: October 26, 2007
Answers: 223
Last Update: September 27, 2011
Visitors: 32464
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I have a problem. So yesturday to take a break with my boyfriend of a lil over 7 months. My reason was that I need to have time to myself and figure stuff out. My boyfriend wasn't too bad with that said. He couldn't understand where this came from and what he did wrong. Alot of little things got to me recently and I became annoyed with everything. We don't go out much so we are usually at my house doing nothing because he's broke and what not. I mean yeah, he has a job, but that's toward his car and gas. So he doesn't get to spend much and I don't expect him, but my mom is getting irritated and irritated as months pass. He comes here and eats and stuff and my mom gets mad that he doesn't take me out. She is more irritated now then before because my sister had a similar boyfriend who's parent's didn't support him so he was over here alot.Anyways.. I don't know what to do. I feel as though that my boyfriend became dependent on me and I'm trying to get some time alone and concentrate on school and stuff. It's hard to see him trying more and more not to irritate me, but that makes it worse. Maybe i'm too hard to please. I just don't know what to do. I like this guy, it's just I can't keep doing the same thing every day when i AM not busy because I usually have softball on the weekends but recently I haven't. Anyone know what I should do? (link)
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You know... it sounds like you have kind of gotten into a rut. I don't doubt you still care about your boyfriend and enjoy his company but maybe you just arent interested in dating him... or anyone right now. If you are only 17 maybe you need some "me" time for a while. If you decide you want to go to the mall on a whim just to look around, you don't want to have to "explain" to your boyfriend why you want to be alone or convince him not to come, etc. You are at an age right now where you have a lot to figure out; who you are, what you want to do with your life, college or not, approaching the end of high school... etc. There may not be any reason at all for your breakup... you just needed it to happen.
We can get so busy in our lives that once in a while it is great to just have nowhere to go, nothing to do, and sometimes even, no one to talk to. Just relax. Perhaps this is where you are right now.
Sounds like you had a great guy. Hopefully you two can continue to be friends- possibly even more again sometime. You had a reason for taking "time out" of your relationship. Now explore your reasons. One thing to be careful about though is cutting yourself off too much. That could lead to depression- or be caused by depression. There is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to be just you (not in a relationship). It isn't easy to explain to the guy because of course he is going to think it is something he did or said. Something you can never explain to a guy is that it isn't about him.
I think you are doing the right thing already. Your first instinct is almost always right and if it was just your gut feeling that you needed time off and time to think... then that's probably what you need! Maybe you are at a different level of maturity now and think different things than he is ready for. Especially if you feel he became dependent on you, you may be ready to be free of that "responsibility".
I dont want to keep rambling here. I believe everything happens for a reason. We don't always know why but you more than likely did the right thing and now need to concentrate on yourself and figuring out what you are going to do with your time out. Do as you said. Focus on school. Focus on your sports. Focus on college. I think you'll be glad you did in the long run. You have tons of time for a relationship.
Best of luck.
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Ok, im very freaked out here. i'm 15., I furst got my period when I was 13.
6 days ago, I got my period, everything normal but a little lighter than it usually was and no cramps. Then, it stopped for night ,the next morning i didn't have anything and i took a shower. at 4:30 today I got my period again, but this time the color was redish.
Then, yesterday it came again for one day, and today not here anymore.. but im afraid that it might come tomorrow
I don't know why it went off and then came again, is this normal?
Could stress cause this? because i've been stressing a lot lately
thankss
PLEASE HELP- WHy does this happen? IS IT NORMAL? (link)
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Stress can do lots of things to your body. So the simple answer is, yes, stress can cause your period to do weird things.
However, it is ALWAYS best to get advice from your doctor whenever you are concerned about something. Hopefully you have a good relationship with an adult lady; Mom, stepmom, aunt, etc. who can possibly help you get to an appointment. If you have been on your period (that is, been having a cycle) for two years now, you should start to see signs of regularity. It is common in teens to have peculiar cycles as your body is going through so many hormonal changes. But, in the off chance that there is something more going on, it is always best to have yourself checked out now rather than wait until later when your potential problem could be worse due to time.
Always take your health seriously. Good luck.
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15/f
I stopped puberty about 3 years ago... my boobs have been a 38B for like a year and a half now... what is the average boob size of an adult woman?
is a B cup considered small? can they still grow even though it's been so long since i stopped devloping? every other woman in my family is a B too. (link)
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First, you stopped puberty at 12? That is something you may want to discuss with your doctor. Most humans do not stop puberty until much closer to 16 or 18.
As far as your breast size, if most of the women in your family is a B, it sounds like that is what your DNA is set for. The chances of you having a family full of B sized women and you growing into a DD is quite unlikely.
I don't think there really is an average size except to say probably somewhere between a B and C. Some women have fairly small breasts, A or smaller, and some women have exceptionally large; DD or larger... but I think overall, women tend to range between B and C.
If you plan to have children you will probably end up with larger breasts. I have read that while pregnant your breasts get larger and then go back once it is all over. I did not find this so. I started out at as a C and now, pregnant with my third child I am a DDD.
So other things can contribute to your breast size but chances are, you are perfectly normal and have what nature intended.
The way you dress can make you "look" larger or smaller, depending on how you want to go, and there are great bras that do the same thing. But I do not recommend you worry about this particular issue at 15. Wait a couple of years!!!
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17/f.
I can't go places or do things by myself without feeling incredibly self-concious and uncomfortable. I was talking to an older family friend of ours today and he said that to stop being so self-concious and everything that the thing that will probably change me is meeting a boy.
He says I need to find what I am good at and really get into it so I can find someone with similar interests.
How do I find what I'm good at? (link)
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I half agree with this friend of yours. I DO agree that you should find what you are good at and really get into it, as well as finding someone with similar interests. I do NOT think this "someone" necessarily needs to be a boy. This someone can be girls or boys... just as long as you are someplace you have a connection with others and feel you really belong. That does wonders for your self esteem. To say you need a boy is suggesting that for you to feel or even be complete you need a man in your life. You can be a complete person with or without a man. It is what you enjoy that matters. (don't tell my husband I said this LOL)
To find what you are good at I would recommend finding out what groups, organizations, etc. are available in your area. For example, we have a recreation center just a few miles from my house, in my hometown. This center offers swimming, ice skating (all year round- they are indoor arenas and pools), soccer, soft ball, dancing lessons of all sorts; jazz, ballet, belly dancing!, tumbling, etc. They offer language classes, art classes such as painting, pottery, etc. In other words, this recreation center is a great place to do whatever you want to do. These classes usually meet once a week and MOST of them can be done on a drop in basis for like... $5.00 a class or something. If you pay for the whole term it can be closer to $50 or $100. You could do something like this on a drop in basis and if you really enjoy whatever it is, keep going back. If you dont, the next week try something else.
Think about all the hobies in the world. You know, what everyone you know does. Sewing, knitting, quilting, painting, tinkering with electronics, cooking, involvement with animals, children, volunteering to help the elderly or homeless, anything. Sit, say in a nice warm bubble bath for a while and imagine yourself DOING this work. Does it excite you enough to go out tomorrow and try it? I make soap. That's good clean fun haha.
I think once you finally decide what you like, and once you actually apply yourself to this, you will meet other people in the class/group. This is going to give you a connection to these people. That makes you feel so whole and good about yourself. If you happen to meet a boy... Hey, good for you *wink* but if you just meet a group of wonderful friends that raise your selfesteem so you can go out and face the world... all the better.
Good luck!!!
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What do you need to become a paramedic? four year college? extra schooling? What courses should I take in high school? (link)
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You need about one year of schooling to be a paramedic. I can't say for certain what exactly you need to do... I think every place differs a little. In high school you should probably take as many health classes as you can. Your local American Red Cross chapter should have classes that you can take in the evenings or on the weekends for emergency first aid, CPR, etc. They usually have a fee but it is usually pretty minimal; under $25 or $30. Once you graduate high school you may be able to find the program offered at your local community college. Our community college here has a great program and, though I am not a paramedic, I believe it is listed under the one year or less category. It may be a one quarter/semester type of thing.
It kind of depends on what paramedics do in your area. In some places it is strictly a volunteer thing, other places pay. In some places the paramedics are ALSO the firefighters- in which case you would need more training because you would be doing a wider variety of work. The BEST place to start is finding your local fire house and just asking. Beyond that I would contact the red cross. I think their website is americanredcross.org. if not, just google the American Red Cross. You should find some pretty good info there. And after that, I would check out your local colleges to see what programs they have to offer. But I don't think in most places you are looking at more than one year of school beyone high school... just be prepared to be doing it volunteer, not necessarily to make a living.
You may want to ask your local paramedics also if they offer their own training. My dad was a paramedic (Note: Going back 25-30 years!!) and he was trained as I recall by our local medics. This may not be the case anymore though.
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Okay, on thebus we have assighned seats, and I sit the seat behind Eric and were like bus-buddies. Well he sits next to the kid NO ONE likes what-so-ever. And Eric picks on hm daily.. and I dont like William but I dont pick on him and I don't join in.. well today he wasn't on and Eric was REALLY REALLy happy, so i seriously asked him if He hated William he said Yes. I asked him he had the power of letting him live or die what would he do.. and he said let him die and I almost cried!!!!
i dont know weither to take him seriously.. or not, but. Im going to ask him tomarrow and tell him im not kidding. and see what he says i know im taking this to far but STILL!
Umm anything would be good.
I wanna know what i shold say to Eric, should I tell William.. like errr can u tell me what u would do in this situation.
Anything is helpful =)
(link)
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Kids can be so cruel.
I don't think that Eric would actually cause harm to William just because Eric's response was he would let him die.
I must say, I think you should make it clear to Eric you don't like his attitude toward William. If he doesn't like him, leave him alone! This does not mean you have to confront Eric. You could do something as simple as look out the window and CLEARLY not like the way Eric is treating William. You could even tell him something like "Come on Eric... this isn't funny anymore. If you can't stand him just ignore him". You may even want to suggest to William to ask the bus driver to switch seats with someone.
I have always been the type to feel sorry for the abused. No matter how irritating, nerdy, or whatever William is, he does not deserve to be constantly abused by Eric. If you... stick up for William in what ever way you feel comfortable doing, you are doing something wonderful to "help the oppressed" so to speak. Sounds like Eric is a bit pompous and needs to be put in his place that he cannot treat another human being in such a dreadful way.
Eric is likely acting this way because he has his own issues. He may feel somehow powerless in his home life and only feels he has control in his school/bus environment. Bullies usually have issues of their own and don't deserve to be treated badly just because they are acting like jerks. I can't begin to imagine what it may be, but if Eric is acting out, he probably has problems of his own. BUT... William doesn't deserve to be beat up (even verbally) because Eric has problems. We all have problems. We still need to be respectful to our fellow humans.
You kinda remind me of myself when I was in high school. I was the kind who minded my own business for the most part. I didn't fit into a clique but everyone seemed to like my company. When I saw someone being treated badly, it made me very sad and I usually tried to stand up for the person, unless I felt I was putting myself in a dangerous situation. I even once privately spoke with a teacher about another kid because I was afraid of the bully involved but desparately wanted to help the kid being bullied. I asked to remain anonymous but I couldn't keep quiet.
I guess that's why I am into therapy now as an adult!!
Good luck with this.
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I've been dating my boyfriend for 5 months, and I am attracted to this other guy. I've slept with this other guy 3 times, and I want to tell my boyfriend that I've been cheating on him. I feel like I need to tell him. OH, and also, I have a bachelorette party for my cousin in 2 weeks, and I'm going for a Mexican theme, since she's Mexican. I want to make some enchilladas for the event, and I need a good recipe! Thanks! (link)
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The advice is, stop cheating. You clearly are not in love with your boyfriend because no one does something so hurtful on purpose to someone they love. The good thing is you are not married so it is time to break up with your boyfriend.
I don't want to give you the advice to make the other guy your boyfriend. It would be a shame for you two to get officially involved and then have you cheat on him too. Perhaps you need to be single for a while and decide what it is you like in a guy before you continue on with this cycle. The guys, neither of them deserve it. Take some time to decide what you want before hurting anyone else, including yourself.
I'm cheating on my boyfriend and I need a recipe. Sorry, I can't help you with the recipe. The cheating part was so disturbing and the non-chelant way of mentioning it in the same breath as needing a recipe for a party... that is very concerning for self destructive behavior. It is coming across whether you mean it to or not as it doesn't bother you you have cheated, you just wanted to let everyone know. I definitely think you should break up with the first guy. He deserves better. Then you should back off for a while until you decide what you want.
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I like my best friend. i grew up with him and he was my best friend for the last 3 years. I told him I liked him and he said he liked me then everything just stopped for 2 weeks i dono why and we did nothing about it and for a week of that i was in dead hate with him id do anything to piss him off but now were now really close again (cursing him out to telling him I love him(in a friend way). i love him but I treat him like my other best friends. They think that’s wrong. I can say anything to him. Im just very comfortable around him. He knows I cut, rubberband, depressed, and struggling and he is there for me through it. He made it so much better and makes me worry a lot less about it. I love being around him. We used to talk about our crushes of other people and us, but now when it comes to talking about crushing or love we smile and end up flirting like little kids in a way I love it lol. Since everyone stereotypes Im gothic but my clothes and hxc music scares him but he loves it for me somehow. He knows I love him ive told him before and wrote I love him in a note today but I doubt he read it. hes also pretty jelous, over nothing, i have just as much guy friends as girls. he tries to stop the play fights between me and guys or me sittin on their laps or carnival rides, i always go to carnivals. I don’t know If Im making a big deal about this or what it’s tearing me up. This is the only thing I can’t talk to him about. what should I do? I am lost. 13 but 14 next month femalee : ) (link)
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Teen love can be just as complicated, if not more complicated than adult love.
There are a few things said here that really don't go together well. There are also some concerning things.
First of all, you told him you liked him and then did everything you could to "piss him off".
Secondly, you "love him" and love being around him, yet you flirt with other guys and even sit on their laps! These two things alone are suggesting to me that you enjoy the company of boys but are really not prepared to be "hooked up" with just one single boy right now. I realize you are only 13/14 and quite obviously not married... but I can say absolutely for certain if my husband, or before I was married- any of my boyfriends, EVER flirted around heavily with another girl or had her sitting on his lap... that is too much. That would be the end of our relationship. That may seem innocent enough to you but the reality is, sitting on a boys lap is EXTREMELY suggestive, not to mention coming in close contact with a very sensitive area.
The concerning thing is your emotional state. You must know that it is unhealthy to cut yourself and depression needs immediate help. You need to focus on YOU before you bring someone else into the picture. You have emotional issues that really need to be attended to. Someone around you, an adult, needs to be informed of this. If you have a parent, pastor, aunt or uncle, older sibling or cousin, or even a friend's parent that you can trust, you really need to work on this. You are worth too much to be hurting yourself. I would hate to hear someone else was abusing you in such a way and hearing you are doing it to yourself is just as saddening. You also mentioned you are goth. Goth is not a style that your average happy person presents. I don't think you are bad or whatever goth is supposed to represent. I think you are sad and need someone to talk to, not having anything to do specifically with goth but more the cutting and rubber banding.
Once you get YOU taken care of, then just have fun with boys for right now. In a few years when you have a better idea of what it is about particular boys that attracts you, perhaps pursue one. There is no rush. Especially in your situation. You need to love yourself before you can love anyone else. When you don't love yourself, you also can't fully be there for others. If you "love" your best friend, he deserves the help and support from his best friend. I am not sure you are ready for that yet. Again, you need to love yourself before you can love others in the way they deserve.
I know this is long but you have mentioned certain things here that really need attention. These things cannot be addressed properly in a one paragraph answer on an advice column. If you can get counseling, even from a school counselor, you may find this helps you in more ways than you could ever have imagined.
Best of luck to you.
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has anyone ever taken prenatal vitamins and experienced hair growth?
also, does anyone know about: GNC Women's Ultra Mega vitamins? (link)
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Prenatal vitamins cause everything to be healthier. You will likely notice your hair growing faster and possibly breaking off less, your finger nails may grow faster and be stronger. Prenatals are meant to keep your unborn baby healthy and the vitamins have to get through you first. Therefore, you may find all sorts of wonderful things happen while on them.
I am currently pregnant with my third child and realized I have to cut my fingernails at least once a week. Of course, I type for a living and if they get too long I start to push more than one key with one finger.
As far as the GNC vitamins... there has been a LOT of research on multivitamins recently. I have even spoken with my own physician about them and the gist is, unless your doctor says you are deficient in something, a multiple vitamin is not necessary. If you are anemic, you need iron. If you have a suppressed immune system, B vitamins and others could benefit you. But if you are just trying to take a good vitamin to be healthy, you are probably already healthy enough and would be waisting your time. If your pregnant, this DOES NOT include a prenatal vitamin, especially folic acid. These are essential. Do not stop them.
One other REALLY important factor... if you are taking prenatals because you are pregnant... besides calcium or a prescription medication that your OB already knows about... you should not be putting ANYTHING else into your body without consulting your OB first. Every breath of air you take goes to your baby and so many things can be harmful, including something as simple as herbal teas. Just be careful being too "health conscious" while pregnant because where you think you may be doing something wonderful, it could end up being harmful. If not to you, the baby.
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I am on my first month of yaz birth control. My period has lasted for three weeks. It stoped today but then came back this evening. Is there a problem. (link)
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Hi. Sorry it took me more than a day to respond. I had a health emergency yesterday with my husband so I was unable to get on my computer.
First I would like to say I am a prospective marriage and family therapist and am not qualified at all to give intense medical advice.
That being said, I do not like to be asked for advice and literally say "sorry, can't help" so I did a little research for you.
I checked out information on YAZ at drugs.com and found the following:
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Continue using the medication and talk with your doctor if you have any of these less serious side effects:
mild nausea, vomiting, bloating, stomach cramps;
breast pain, tenderness, or swelling;
freckles or darkening of facial skin, increased hair growth, or loss of scalp hair;
changes in weight or appetite, swelling of your hands or feet;
problems with contact lenses;
vaginal itching or discharge;
>>>>>changes in your menstrual periods
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hi im 14/f
this is a random question; you know when girls masturebate and stuff their hymen breaks and they bleed so when you have sex for the first time do you bleed? and when does it come? thank you so much in advance
xxx (link)
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I wish I could tell you this answer is directly from my mouth, but unfortunately it is someone else's words. This comes directly from the website adviceforallages.org
I hope this is all the information you could ever need lol...
"The hymen is a thin layer of skin that partially covers the vagina. Its purpose is to protect the vagina from bacteria and other harmful pathogens. This skin is very sensitive, and easily torn. Some girls are born without a hymen, and others have their hymens broken from sports, horseback riding, using tampons, or during manual sex. While the hymen is often broken during a girl's first time having intercourse, there is a high possibility that the hymen will already be torn before that, or not fully torn after that. Every girl is different. So, the presence or absence of a hymen is no indication of virginity.
If the hymen does break during sex, most often there will be some bleeding, because the tissue has blood vessels in it. However, some women don't experience bleeding, and of course their hymen may already be torn. Also, some bleed the first few times they have sex. So if she doesn't bleed, it doesn't necessarily mean she has already been devirginized."
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This will be my fourth month on this pill. The first two months were normal.. but last month my period was 10 days long.. then this month my period came last friday and ended monday ( so about four days) is that normal to occur? have a long period over 7 days then one less? or is that a bad thing? (link)
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If you want to discuss this further, I highly recommend contacting your GYN to speak with a nurse there, or contact your pharmacy.
However, YAZ has a website and I was able to find this information for you...
"You may experience side effects, such as unexpected bleeding.
This happens between periods, and can occur with any birth control pill, especially in the first month of use. You may have "spotting" that looks like a light stain. Or you might have "breakthrough bleeding," which is more like a period. If this happens, don't be alarmed. This is normal. Continue to take YAZ every day, and this type of bleeding should stop after the first few months, once your body adjusts. But if it continues, talk to your healthcare professional."
You mentioned it is your fourth month of use so your body should be getting used to the hormones. When taking artificial hormones, the body can react differently than it normally would, but again, it may make you feel better contacting a nurse at your GYN. They are usually more than happy to answer your medical questions.
Also, here is the YAZ website if you want to read more information.
I hope this helps some.
http://www.yaz-us.com/front?cref=9
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17/f I have a new boyfriend who is really lovely and nice and sweet and is a really decent guy. The thing is, he's not exactly "parent-approval" material, and I just know for a fact my parents would hate him. I don't normally keep the fact I have boyfriends secret from parents, but this time it feels different. For a start, I broke up with my ex pretty soon before I started dating this guy, and my parents LOVED my ex and were quite sad to see us split up! This was still only about 2 months ago.
Also, I've been going to his and seeing him a lot recently. I collapsed about two weeks ago at his house (nothing to do with him!) and lied at my parents about where it happened and said it was at a friend's, and if I told them now they'd definitely put two and two together, and also realise that I haven't actually just been going to a friend's to do homework all the time recently. They would be so angry that I lied!
I know that I have got myself into this situation but what should I do? I've got a feeling I'm gonna be with this guy for a while and I don't want to lie to them forever, and also he has expressed wanting to come to my house etc. But should I tell them that I have been lying to them all ths time? And how do I tell them? Thank you. xxx (link)
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It is NEVER a good thing to base a relationship on lies. If you want your parents to trust you, you can't lie to them about who you are seeing. If you want your boyfriend to respect you and be happy being with you, he doesn't deserve to be "hidden" from your family.
I don't think you would appreciate your parents lying to you about anything. You want to be able to trust them and know that if you need them, they are there for you. That is what a loving family is all about. If you don't give them the same respect, they will be angry... but the anger isn't exactly cut and dry. It is sadness being masked by anger. They love you and want to be able to trust you.
Though I don't know you or your parents, something like this might work out: Tell your parents there is something difficult you need to talk to them about. Go to your living room, family room, whatever and get comfortable. Let them know that you have made a mistake, you have been lying to them, and you feel terrible. That is why you want to get everything out; because they deserve to know the truth. Ask them to have an opened mind. Tell them you have been seeing a boy that you have a lot of fun with. He is different from your previous boyfriend, but he is wonderful and you hope they trust your judgement... don't necessarily expect them to trust you given you are sitting there telling the, you have been lying... but you can try asking for it just the same.
Hopefully this boy is worth you. You mentioned he isn't "parent approved material". Does this mean that deep down he really isn't good enough for YOU either? You say you like him and I don't doubt that. I do not know what the boy's situation is but do you like him for one main reason such as; he's really hot but not necessarily sweet, romantic, friendly, trustworthy, etc. OR he's dangerous and gives you a rush to be with him? That sort of thing. Examine WHY you like him and WHY he isn't parent material. Usually (not always but usually) when parents don't approve of a boy for their daughter it is because they know their daughter and they know she is high quality and deserves better. They have shown they CAN accept a boy you date... just not necessarily THIS boy.
Also, provided your relationship has been... fairly innocent, you may want to open this information up to your parents to help them feel better about you seeing him. IF this is not the case, you feel you HAVE something to hide and this is not healthy. Clearly in this situation, your parents may be right and that upsets you.
I have ALWAYS found that openness and honesty in a relationship is the ONLY way to hold on to this relationship and keep it strong, long lasting.
My answers are always incredibly wrong but I believe in matters of relationships, there is too much one sided information and I do not feel one little paragraph is adequate. This is real life and deserves real attention. This boy means something to you to have you lying to your parents. This just isn't a healthy way to continue on with a relationship. You parents have ALWAYS been there for you and always will be... but boys come and go (at least through your teen years) so try to balance who means more to you and who is easier to dismiss.
Good luck.
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I have been married for 5 years, and for the past 10 months have been having an affair with a man from work. I love my husband, but I know that if I tell him the truth, we will be over. My husband is very good to me. The affair is now over. I have been feeling guilty and depressed, and I don't know if I should tell my husband. I also think there is a possibility that I might do this again, and I can't explain why. What should I do? Tell him, and try to move on, or move on myself, and try to spare our relationship? (link)
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I don't think it is a matter of YOU surviving infidelity. It is your husband. You have hurt him in a way that no one else on earth can hurt him, and he doesn't even know.
Its good the affair is over. I question why it is over, why you are feeling depressed, and why on earth you would even consider doing it again.
If I was counseling your husband I would tell him he deserves better. He should respect himself enough and know that he deserves someone who he can trust with his life and only has a heart for him. I would not decide for him to leave you, but I would support his decision if that is what he wanted to do.
I cannot tell you if you should tell him or not, that is up to you. Just remember you deserve whatever he gives you. If he decides to forgive you and move on, you are one lucky woman. He he hates you and leaves you... can you blame him?
You have a very selfish personality and your husband deserves someone he can rely on. If you really want to save your marriage, I highly recommend you get local professional help. It may take a long time but you owe it to your husband.
I was rough here. More severe than I usually am with my column. You chose to have the affair. You chose to post this issue on a public advice column for anyone to answer. So here's your answer. Figure out if you want to tell him, but you NEED help, especially if contemplating doing it again. And any depression you feel until then, you likely deserve because you have broken a heart, and possibly a life.
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15/f.
ok, so i just started highschool. and my one science class was like so hard. i had no idea what i was doing. so i went in there every day for help during my study hall. and i focused on my science grade. because it was like a d. all of my other classes were fine, i assumed. anyways, i didnt realize, i was failing freaking math. and he never even asked me if i understood. im not a shy person. but in his class i was. i never ever talked. and everyone seemed so smart, so i was afraid to ever ask for help. and i mean i know, its my responsiblity to ask for help. but didnt he realize i needed it when i was doing so bad??? so now im like freaking out. because i did plan on going to college. all of my other classes are good. im getting all as and bs, and in science i raised it up to a c. so my grades werent horrible. and i figured in math i was getting a c. so now. im so confused. like i really wanted to go to college. how will i ever get into college now? i mean i dont wanna work at walmart. i wanna have a good job. and i try SO hard. its not fair. what do i do? is there any hope for me? i mean i was like on the verge of tears in study hall.
im so confused. (link)
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Awwww, you poor thing. First, take a deep breath and calm down. Everything will be be okay. That is not a generic "everything will be okay" but a real, honest, EVERYTHING is going to be okay. Here's why...
The first thing is you have over 3 1/2 years to bring your grades up. You clearly want to succeed so you likely will. Congratulations on bringing up your science grade, by the way. You worked hard and you accomplished a better grade. You may need to do the same thing with your math grade; get extra help. Don't blame your math teacher or be upset that he didn't call attention to the idea it may have been obvious you needed help. Put the focus you could have on being aggravated with him into working harder. If you harbor anger toward him you won't be as inclined to try hard for his class.
You can get into college even with a bad math grade! I can't speak for ALL colleges, especially the ivy leagues but I know you can get into a good 4-year university even with a bad math grade. I did!!! lol. The only reason I passed my 12th grade algebra class is because I had excellent grades in all my other classes. I was failing math. My math teacher recognised I was obviously good at school, just not math so he placed, NOT passed me out of math. Therefore, when I got to college, I had to take very remedial math to work my way up to college level algebra so I would be prepared for trigonometry, calculus, etc. You are not doomed to a lifetime of being a Wal-Mart associate because your math grade is suffering.
Work really hard for the next 3 1/2 years and you will be JUST fine, even if you arent an all A student (which you may become given your obvious desire to succeed.
Good luck. Everything will be okay *smile*
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I have a permanent tooth that is mildly loose. I can wiggle it side to side a little. When the orthodonist was moving the tooth into place, it was running into another tooth. I think the gum roots were getting damaged or something. Do you think over time the tooth won't be as loose and won't wiggle as much? (link)
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If you are seeing an orthodontist I assume you either have braces or are preparing for them.
I had the same thing when I had braces. I had to have a palatal expander which stretches your upper palate making your mouth wider. This caused my 2 front teeth to separate by, gosh, probably a 1/2 a centimeter. This doesn't sound like much but imagine a 1/2 centimeter space between 2 teeth!!! Anyway, when the expancer came off, the braces went on. He put a "chain" across my 4 front teeth to bring them together and the space was completely gone in a matter of seconds! My teeth were a bit wobbly for a long while. Now, I admit it has been 15 years since I got my braces off so I have no idea how long it took for them to tighten back up. But definitely, unless there is something else going on, your teeth should tighten back up once they are finished being pushed and shoved around. If it is a real concern, certainly ask your orthodontist, but it is probably nothing to be too concerned about yet.
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i really hope someone can answer this. im a junior in high school. part of my school is mixed in with a technical college, therefore high schoolers get the chance to take real college courses [not AP] and receive both high school and college credits as long as we pass the compass test and all that good stuff. im currently taking health occupations, which is a high school course, but was thinking about taking Patient Care Assisting [PCA] my senior year, which is a college course that is 2 blocks long and will certify us to be CNA's at the end of the semester and can go right on and land a job in a hospital. the thing is, i want to be a veterinary radiologist or anesthesiologist, so would being a certified CNA even help me? the class interests me, but i want to work with animals. so would there even be any point in taking it or would being a vet be TOTALLY different? people are telling me that it could still help me, and that being a CNA and/or having worked in a hospital would look really good to colleges [which btw im trying to get into a major university], but i havent had time to talk to any counselors or anything at the school. any input? (link)
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Taking the PCA class would certainly be a big help. I do not use my medical education (much anyway... Im a psych student so a little of it comes in handy). I went to nursing school right out of high school doing clinicals in a nursing home. I became a CNA (certified nursing assisstant). I decided then and there that nursing was not for me, at least not human so I got a certificate as a veterinary assisstant. I was amazed at how similar it is. I mean, all humans and warm blooded animals have essentially the same bones, organs, body systems, etc. There are minor variations but if you become a CNA and then go to vet school, I think you will find you already have a trememdous basis for your education.
When I was studying to be a CNA I was working for a pharmacy. Not a big chain but a small, independently owned pharm. where I completely filled Rx's from beginning to end and the RPh just double checked and signed off on what I did. I learned a lot in the CNA classes to help me there too! Such as the metric system. I had never learned any of that in high school; cc's, ml's, drams, etc. You also get to learn all the abbreviations in ANY of those; nursing, vet, pharmacy, etc. such as q.d., b.i.d., a.u, a.d., gtts, s.o.b, and loads of other useful medical terminology.
To make a long story short... if you are REALLY into being a veterinarian (or some kind of work with animals) you may not be tremendously happy doing human work. I know I dreaded my clinicals. The book work was great but having to be at the nursing home changing bed pans, giving showers, shaving, etc... it didn't "gross me out" or anything... I just always liked medicine but never really knew until years later what I liked about it. BUT, that being said, the education will definitely help you. I'm just happy I study the mind now, lol, and less of the body.
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So I asked a question a couple of days ago about my boyfriend who was constantly hanging out with his ex (who's a slut and cheated on him multiple times) and I thought he didn't like me and whatnot. But anyway, he cheated on me, and I was extremely hurt... he told me that he'd never hurt me and that I deserved the best, and I actually caught him and his ex making out. Now I haven't talked to him in 3 days, but I've seen him and he looks extremely depressed and he keeps saying he's so sorry. And now it makes me feel horrible for not talking to him because he seems so sincere and apologetic, and he keeps telling me that he understands it if I don't wanna talk to him... but I just feel bad for ignoring him. But I was just so damn hurt by what he did I didn't even want to look at him. But I still feel horrible, he just looked so sad and I just ignored him. Am I doing the right thing by not talking to him? I miss him. (link)
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Cheaters and abusers have cycles. They make you think you are the only one their hearts desire. Then something happens (usually YOUR fault but not necessarily) that "makes" them do their "thing", either cheat, hit, whatever, and then a day or so later they are OH so sorry and beg you to forgive them.
I am a psych. student studying families and relationships. I am not lisenced yet. I am telling you this only because I want you to understand that this is not advice coming from someone bitter who has had this happen. This is unbiased. If he is a habitual cheater, he WANTS you to feel so bad that you take him back. That is how they manipulate.
I am not saying this guy is DEFINITELY a chronic cheater, but if he is capable of cheating once, it is ABSOLUTELY LIKELY that he will do it again. He doesn't have strong enough will power to tell himself "this is wrong. I am with someone right now and should not be doing this". That little voice inside him is being silent.
It is especially hard for you because you miss him. You WANT to believe he is truly hurt and remorseful and will never do it again. Just be careful. You deserve someone who only has eyes for you. Not you, and his ex, and the girl who just moved next door, etc.
I hope this wasn't too hard to bear. Typing can sound heartless sometimes. It is always best to hear intonations of a voice but in an advice column... this is the best I can do.
Good luck.
Do you know WHY he has an EX rather than still dating her? Do you know if he has cheated before? He may genuinely be upset that you have not spoken to him because I am sure he is very upset... but not completely because you are mad at him. Part of this is because he got caught.
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Lately ive been sooo tired.
Ive been dieting,but thats never made me tired before.
Also,i havent been exercising as much since we moved and i havent had a gym membership.
I was recently put on a birth control pill as well,for hormone regulation.
I just don't know why im so lazy and tired,i used to be not lazy at all and NEVER tired.
Now its the opposite.
I need some help! (link)
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Your previous answer is probably good enough advice... but I want to add a little something. More than likely, the other person is right. It is very important to do exercise and eat properly.
But... there are some other medical conditions that cause extreme lethargy. If exercise and improving your diet do not help, it is important to see a doctor. Things such as mono can cause you to be quite tired (but there are usually other symptoms for this as well).
Health questions on an advice column are difficult because it is hard to give a proper history, ill exposures, etc. I just want to make sure that you are getting complete help. You are probably fine but please seek help if things don't change with your changes.
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O.k well this guy I like is kind of in the popular crowd. Like alot of the really popular guys talk to him. I try to stay in the middle so I'm not known to well so my name stays away from rumers. Anyway I like him and I think he likes me too. I want to ask him to be my bf, but I'm afraid that he will laugh in my face like he was dared or somethin cuz him and hiz friends do that alot. I think he really does like me thou because We are always joking and laughin and we sit together in all my classes. One time during a silent project he chunked a dictionary at my leg so I threw it back. We laughed. Another time my teacher asked his friend to write names on the board and he hates me so he wrote my name on there. He said NO erase it! So he did. He carries my trumpet to and from band hall too. I have to pay him though. My friends are always tring to hook us up. P.S not to sound raciest but he's balck and I'm white. PLEASE HELP ME!!! (link)
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I don't typically answer questions if they already have several answers because I feel the advice you have already received is probably adequate. I really don't agree with your previous advice so I am going to put my two cents in... hope you don't mind *smile*
Guys are immature and irritating, especially in high school. They always seem to be mocking someone and laughing behind their backs. But what are we to do? We like guys, no matter how rediculous they are right? Being an adult I don't like high school boys anymore... but OH I USED TO!!! lol Had more than enough crushes in my day.
ANYWAY haha... Here's my advice. You two seem to really hit it off in classes. Sounds like you have really fun chemistry together! Don't rush into the boyfriend thing... at least not until you are really certain about how you two feel about each other. Why don't you ask him to hang out sometime... perhaps you have a group of friends going out for pizza or something. You could tell him "some of us are going out this weekend and I thought it would be fun if you came too". You can play it safe by doing a group thing or even do something really public, just the two of you. Are there any Halloween parties or a haunted hayride? Maybe some sort of festival or... I don't know. Something. Be creative. But initially just try "hanging out". If he is interested and you have fun in a public setting with loads of people/other friends around, go for the next step. Maybe HE will go for the next step! I do agree that playing hard to get can be fun... especially if the guy takes the bait... but that is not how you get involved in a relationship that is honest and worth while. Honesty is always the best way. "pretending" you don't care could possibly get you doing NOTHING-EVER with this guy. You may find he is actually as nervous as you and is afraid to take the first step.
I hope this works out for you... I LOVED high school and I remember fondly all my crushes. Best of luck with yours!
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