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What am I good at?
17/f.
I can't go places or do things by myself without feeling incredibly self-concious and uncomfortable. I was talking to an older family friend of ours today and he said that to stop being so self-concious and everything that the thing that will probably change me is meeting a boy.
He says I need to find what I am good at and really get into it so I can find someone with similar interests.
How do I find what I'm good at?
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Well, I sort of agree with your friend. Finding something you enjoy and can really get involved with is a great way of meeting people with similar interests. And not just guys, but girls too who can become friends and enrich your life. And it's not just about meeting people. Being immersed in something you enjoy just makes you happy!
But you don't necessarily have to be GOOD at something in order to feel good about yourself.
A lot of people think that the only way to be happy or feel good about yourself is to be REALLY GOOD at something -- even the best. And if they don't find something that they really excel at, they feel like a failure. But that is soooo not true! The fact is, not everyone is gonna be super talented at something. We all have certain things we're better at than others, but most of us are just "okay" at a lot of different things. And that's fine! As long as you enjoy what you're doing, just do it for the pure enjoyment of it! Who knows... you may discover a hidden talent at some point, but if you don't, that's nothing to feel bad about.
One more thing. This might sound kinda weird, but... I was at this old cemetery and I was reading some of the tombstones, and one of them said simply, "Harry Smith - He was a Good Friend." And I was like WOW! What a great thing to have someone say about you! Of all the things that could be said about someone -- they were successful, they accomplished blah blah blah -- this just seemed more meaningful than any of those things. So my point is... whatever you do in life, being a nice, decent person is probably the best accomplishment of all... and that can really make you feel good about yourself.
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I half agree with this friend of yours. I DO agree that you should find what you are good at and really get into it, as well as finding someone with similar interests. I do NOT think this "someone" necessarily needs to be a boy. This someone can be girls or boys... just as long as you are someplace you have a connection with others and feel you really belong. That does wonders for your self esteem. To say you need a boy is suggesting that for you to feel or even be complete you need a man in your life. You can be a complete person with or without a man. It is what you enjoy that matters. (don't tell my husband I said this LOL)
To find what you are good at I would recommend finding out what groups, organizations, etc. are available in your area. For example, we have a recreation center just a few miles from my house, in my hometown. This center offers swimming, ice skating (all year round- they are indoor arenas and pools), soccer, soft ball, dancing lessons of all sorts; jazz, ballet, belly dancing!, tumbling, etc. They offer language classes, art classes such as painting, pottery, etc. In other words, this recreation center is a great place to do whatever you want to do. These classes usually meet once a week and MOST of them can be done on a drop in basis for like... $5.00 a class or something. If you pay for the whole term it can be closer to $50 or $100. You could do something like this on a drop in basis and if you really enjoy whatever it is, keep going back. If you dont, the next week try something else.
Think about all the hobies in the world. You know, what everyone you know does. Sewing, knitting, quilting, painting, tinkering with electronics, cooking, involvement with animals, children, volunteering to help the elderly or homeless, anything. Sit, say in a nice warm bubble bath for a while and imagine yourself DOING this work. Does it excite you enough to go out tomorrow and try it? I make soap. That's good clean fun haha.
I think once you finally decide what you like, and once you actually apply yourself to this, you will meet other people in the class/group. This is going to give you a connection to these people. That makes you feel so whole and good about yourself. If you happen to meet a boy... Hey, good for you *wink* but if you just meet a group of wonderful friends that raise your selfesteem so you can go out and face the world... all the better.
Good luck!!!
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