|
Is cheating ever forgivable?
So I asked a question a couple of days ago about my boyfriend who was constantly hanging out with his ex (who's a slut and cheated on him multiple times) and I thought he didn't like me and whatnot. But anyway, he cheated on me, and I was extremely hurt... he told me that he'd never hurt me and that I deserved the best, and I actually caught him and his ex making out. Now I haven't talked to him in 3 days, but I've seen him and he looks extremely depressed and he keeps saying he's so sorry. And now it makes me feel horrible for not talking to him because he seems so sincere and apologetic, and he keeps telling me that he understands it if I don't wanna talk to him... but I just feel bad for ignoring him. But I was just so damn hurt by what he did I didn't even want to look at him. But I still feel horrible, he just looked so sad and I just ignored him. Am I doing the right thing by not talking to him? I miss him.
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Yeah, you are.
Once someone cheats on you, it hurts. Your trust that you had for them is broken. & you can't really see yourself forgiving them.
It can be forgiven, but you'll never trust them again. I'd say cool off for a bit & decide if you still wanna be with him.
And that "once a cheater, always a cheater" thing isn't always true. Not everyone changes, but some people do.
]
well okay, i think that if he cheated on you once unless he seriously loved you like nothing else ever before then i think he would do it again. maybe not right away. but in time maybe. im not sure what kind of a person he usually is and idk him so its kind of hard. but i think by most guys at my school they act sad so you feel bad and then when they have you and are all on you saying they love you when they think you really love them they go and do stuff again. if i was you i would talk to him, tell him how hurt you were and about that you would like to give him a second chance or if you think hes going to eventually do it again. tell him you think you guys should just be friends so you dont have to worry about him and his X. idk he might be trying to hurt his X like she hurt him. hopefully talking to him about how bad it hurt you when you found out about what he did with his X might help you out and help you make your decision about what you want too do. hope i helped. :D
]
bullshit hes sincere. if he was sincere he never woulda done it. once a cheater, always a cheater. DONT GIVE HIM ANOTHER CHANCE. at least not right away... man id be shitty if i got cheated on like that. ignore him as much as you damn well please, and when you do talk to him, let him know how it made you feel - he shouldnt get out of this that easily.
]
Cheaters and abusers have cycles. They make you think you are the only one their hearts desire. Then something happens (usually YOUR fault but not necessarily) that "makes" them do their "thing", either cheat, hit, whatever, and then a day or so later they are OH so sorry and beg you to forgive them.
I am a psych. student studying families and relationships. I am not lisenced yet. I am telling you this only because I want you to understand that this is not advice coming from someone bitter who has had this happen. This is unbiased. If he is a habitual cheater, he WANTS you to feel so bad that you take him back. That is how they manipulate.
I am not saying this guy is DEFINITELY a chronic cheater, but if he is capable of cheating once, it is ABSOLUTELY LIKELY that he will do it again. He doesn't have strong enough will power to tell himself "this is wrong. I am with someone right now and should not be doing this". That little voice inside him is being silent.
It is especially hard for you because you miss him. You WANT to believe he is truly hurt and remorseful and will never do it again. Just be careful. You deserve someone who only has eyes for you. Not you, and his ex, and the girl who just moved next door, etc.
I hope this wasn't too hard to bear. Typing can sound heartless sometimes. It is always best to hear intonations of a voice but in an advice column... this is the best I can do.
Good luck.
Do you know WHY he has an EX rather than still dating her? Do you know if he has cheated before? He may genuinely be upset that you have not spoken to him because I am sure he is very upset... but not completely because you are mad at him. Part of this is because he got caught.
]
screw him, he cheated, theres other guys. especially ones that won't cheat on you.
]
More Questions: |