|
i love my bff and its killing me
I like my best friend. i grew up with him and he was my best friend for the last 3 years. I told him I liked him and he said he liked me then everything just stopped for 2 weeks i dono why and we did nothing about it and for a week of that i was in dead hate with him id do anything to piss him off but now were now really close again (cursing him out to telling him I love him(in a friend way). i love him but I treat him like my other best friends. They think that’s wrong. I can say anything to him. Im just very comfortable around him. He knows I cut, rubberband, depressed, and struggling and he is there for me through it. He made it so much better and makes me worry a lot less about it. I love being around him. We used to talk about our crushes of other people and us, but now when it comes to talking about crushing or love we smile and end up flirting like little kids in a way I love it lol. Since everyone stereotypes Im gothic but my clothes and hxc music scares him but he loves it for me somehow. He knows I love him ive told him before and wrote I love him in a note today but I doubt he read it. hes also pretty jelous, over nothing, i have just as much guy friends as girls. he tries to stop the play fights between me and guys or me sittin on their laps or carnival rides, i always go to carnivals. I don’t know If Im making a big deal about this or what it’s tearing me up. This is the only thing I can’t talk to him about. what should I do? I am lost. 13 but 14 next month femalee : )
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
well darling im not stereotyping so dont worry..i think its great that he sees you for you and not your exterior...and maybe you were angry at him when you would "do anything to make him p.o." because you wanted him to make the move..maybe you thought that you had already done your part, and if he wanted you bad enough he would comply?? am i right??
Maybe he is afraid to fall in love with you...it happens...maybe he doesnt want you to know that he might actually love you too...maybe he is running from his feelings..you could scare him..dont nag him about it though...i have an idea as to how you could bring it up again...
take him somewhere where you and your friends normally go!! just only take him...dont let him think of it as a date or anything, just let you to be alone..wait until the silence is reached then look him in the eyes and say "(insert name her) i love you".....maybe not being around the other friends he will give in to your "seduction"...
matter of fact maybe that is why he hasnt done anything about it...maybe its embarrasement or nervousness or pressure from the peers...??
xoxo
teardrops7
hope it all works out
]
Teen love can be just as complicated, if not more complicated than adult love.
There are a few things said here that really don't go together well. There are also some concerning things.
First of all, you told him you liked him and then did everything you could to "piss him off".
Secondly, you "love him" and love being around him, yet you flirt with other guys and even sit on their laps! These two things alone are suggesting to me that you enjoy the company of boys but are really not prepared to be "hooked up" with just one single boy right now. I realize you are only 13/14 and quite obviously not married... but I can say absolutely for certain if my husband, or before I was married- any of my boyfriends, EVER flirted around heavily with another girl or had her sitting on his lap... that is too much. That would be the end of our relationship. That may seem innocent enough to you but the reality is, sitting on a boys lap is EXTREMELY suggestive, not to mention coming in close contact with a very sensitive area.
The concerning thing is your emotional state. You must know that it is unhealthy to cut yourself and depression needs immediate help. You need to focus on YOU before you bring someone else into the picture. You have emotional issues that really need to be attended to. Someone around you, an adult, needs to be informed of this. If you have a parent, pastor, aunt or uncle, older sibling or cousin, or even a friend's parent that you can trust, you really need to work on this. You are worth too much to be hurting yourself. I would hate to hear someone else was abusing you in such a way and hearing you are doing it to yourself is just as saddening. You also mentioned you are goth. Goth is not a style that your average happy person presents. I don't think you are bad or whatever goth is supposed to represent. I think you are sad and need someone to talk to, not having anything to do specifically with goth but more the cutting and rubber banding.
Once you get YOU taken care of, then just have fun with boys for right now. In a few years when you have a better idea of what it is about particular boys that attracts you, perhaps pursue one. There is no rush. Especially in your situation. You need to love yourself before you can love anyone else. When you don't love yourself, you also can't fully be there for others. If you "love" your best friend, he deserves the help and support from his best friend. I am not sure you are ready for that yet. Again, you need to love yourself before you can love others in the way they deserve.
I know this is long but you have mentioned certain things here that really need attention. These things cannot be addressed properly in a one paragraph answer on an advice column. If you can get counseling, even from a school counselor, you may find this helps you in more ways than you could ever have imagined.
Best of luck to you.
]
More Questions: |