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I've been fingered
So I'm 13 years old, nearly 14 and I've been fingered the first time it was only for like 30 secs, I thought this was a long time. A few days later I was fingered by someone else for much longer I couldn't really feel anything so he uses two fingers and it was better not too tight tho. Does this mean there's something wrong, am I too young, am I a slag
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You're certainly not a slag mate. OK, we all live in a very 'connected' world of the internet. We hear about, and discuss openly, dreadful cases of paedophile rings and single cases too, where girls around your age are exploited by much older guys. The transparency is a good thing. It informs and empowers young girls enough to say 'Hey! That's not right! No one's gonna do that to me!' etc. The predatory paedophiles will have a harder time bullying and shaming their young victims into keeping quiet about it. Good stuff. But let's not get brainwashed. Girls of your age 'experimenting' sexually with about same-age guys does not belong in this dark world of abuse. In fact, showing each other your 'bits', and a certain amount of touching and feeling? Well that's been going on as long as their has been teenaged girls and guys mate. It's neither new, or at all sinister. If you're comfortable about it, and enjoying it, carry on. If you're not, take the line of, "tried it...don't really like it at the moment...maybe give it another try later....with a different boyfriend maybe" and stop doing it. Keep to your limits. It's not an invitation for the guy to have full sex with you and make sure he understands that. If he gets pushy, and you don't like how things are shaping-up, ditch him! In terms of 'too young' mostly girls don't start full sexual relationships at your age. Fears of pregnancy are very real. And, well. It's a big step. You want to wait until you're really sure about your guy, and you trust him and love him before you have sex. It's a rather special thing, so girls like to save that for someone who is actually rather special himself. And quite right too. Something wrong? Slag? Most certainly not!
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I agree with the advice given by Dragonflymagic and solidadvice4teens. Both have offered you very good advice. Like solidadvice4teens I am concerned that you allowed two different boys do this with you.
I'll let you in on a secret about teenage boys. Regardless of what they might tell you about keeping anything sexual you may do with them a secret. They can't help but boast about what they did to their buddies. Not only do they boast about it but the exaggerate much like fisherman stories where the fish he has caught was 1 inch long but by the 5th or 6th time he tells the story he has caught a whale. This is how young women get reputations they don't want.
Yes puberty has struck you and you may feel sexual frustrated. The best and safest way to satisfy that is self-gratification, masturbation. You go in your room, close and lock the door. Turn the lights down low, get comfortable and finger yourself. You can also do this in the shower or bath.
Contrary to what your parent might tell you about masturbation, or playing with yourself. There is nothing wrong with it. According to a recent survey 85% of the population masturbates. This would include your parents. Mutual masturbation is part of foreplay prior to intercourse. Hand jobs and oral sex is included under the heading of masturbation. So enjoy.
As for not getting any satisfaction from the boys fingering you; I would not worry too much on that as there could several reasons. The most common reasons would be you were too anxious to relax and enjoy it. Many girls worry about getting pregnant, which can't happen from fingering.
Then there are two types of women when it comes to sex. Most women enjoy both clitoral stimulation and insertion. But then there are the two types that can only be stimulated one way or the other.
One of the benefits of masturbation is you will learn this about yourself as you learn where your pleasure spots are. So I suggest when and if you do masturbate you also allow one hand to caress your body as you do so to find those spots. When you’re older and ready to have sex then you can show your partner how to please you and you should also encourage him how to please you.
For the moment though you are many years away from the time to have full sexual activity.
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I have never been one to criticize a fellow advice giver but the advice given below by Dr. D to put it politely is off-base. This will NOT lead to pregnancy or other activity you aren't ready for or something that ruins your life. If you aren't ready for anything else know that and communicate it to partners. They are right in saying sex is best left alone until and unless you can support a baby.
Anyways, as per your question every female is different when it comes to what they respond to sexually and in your case you didn't find what your partner(s) were doing to be pleasurable. And guess what? That's perfectly normal. What you need to do is tell them "that's not working for me" and outline what you prefer.
Make sure he's not being too rough either. Most women find pleasure from clitoral stimulation and not insertion. My only concern here is that you have let more than one person do this within days of each other. You might want to hold off on this kind of thing and find the one person you want to be with as having multiple partners doing this with you can lead to a reputation if the boys blab about it.
There's nothing wrong with what you are doing and it's considered a form of self-pleasure (masturbation) but with a partner. As long as you remain in charge and they know that you mean business and NO is NO than you're okay. You have to communicate what you aren't ready for and make sure you trust your gut. That way nothing can lead where it shouldn't yet.
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When hormones start flowing, teens can begin to feel the need for sexual release/orgasms. Mature sexual organs will respond much better than ones just starting. So at your age, to take care of any horniness, just start masturbating. This means using your fingers on yourself. You're too young to buy sex toys for women but a lot of young teens buy a separate battery run toothbrush to use on just the clitoris, not to be used inside. This way you may be able to get clitoral orgasms if not at least find it feeling good. I know the bristles sound harsh but when so many young girls asked about it, I had to try so I can tell them, yes it works, works quite well. Just so you know, it takes a lot longer than 30 seconds or even a handful of minutes for most females to become stimulated enough to achieve an orgasm.
I do believe you are the perfect age though to self educate yourself about your body, what it can do, any sex or relationship issues and there is a wonder video blog that would be perfect. The gal running it is in her twenties but started when she was a teen also and shared what she learned. Here is a link to the main page. Please wait to have sex with any males as it is too easy to get pregnant. Even if he does not enter you, if he gets his own pre-cum on his fingers and then fingers you right away, there enough sperm there to get you pregnant. Best to avoid and focus right now on learning. Heres the link:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
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Hiya! Dr.D here!
I'm just going to say... your to young, tooooooo young, for anything like this. One thing will lead to another. And it wont bring anything good. You should wait till your old enough, I dont know what country your from but in America, you have to be at least 18 to engage in sexual activities, with someone. I highly recommend you rethink this action and avoid this.
As for what happened when you were fingered, your hymen is really tight when your a virgin. But when its introduced to material now going in, it will develop and grow wider, preparing for bigger material to enter.
So its fine. But really, I highly recommend you dont do this kind of stuff. Your to young. I knew a girl who got pregnant at age fifteen, and its ruined her life. One thing leads to another. Stop now. why let others do it when you can do that stuff yourself. Thats what I recommend.
Just rethink this okay? Make the smart choice.
-Dr.D
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