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my girlfriend lied and said she was 18
Well she lied to me about being 18 and she is 16 and she 2month pregnant and im 27 but i dont think her parents would allow me to to see are kid and plus i think i could get in trouble for this cause its my fault for not asking for id i just didnt think girls do that and i just need help to see if i will in up in jail or can i still take care of them once she has the baby please help Me and this in the state of pa
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
People aged 16 and older can legally consent to sexual activity with anyone they choose, as long as the other person does not have authority over them as defined in Pennsylvania’s institutional sexual assault statute. ([Link](Mouse over link to see full location))
Not a crime in your state, congratulations. Now start saving because even a parent without visitation rights is required to pay child support.
Don't whimp out on child support. Even though you and this girl made some bad choices, your child didn't choose any of it, and this baby will need money, so man up and work hard for your son or daughter.
Here's a (long) link to your state's child support calculator:
dDjNYEJy8aMfwhWkQzYvonJaJosc4TgG2D5yM3UcNMnbacajl1Pum2JU3lK9NVJqcIHOvE8iJU7XBEHt4Zodnw--mwppRjwIf4e7sWvcB5reLKSUD9T2QH9F@eJSV0a2sttxP4PDpURe" target="_blank" target="_new" title="https://www.humanservices.state.pa.us/CSWS/CSWS_controller.aspx?dDjNYEJy8aMfwhWkQzYvonJaJosc4TgG2D5yM3UcNMnbacajl1Pum2JU3lK9NVJqcIHOvE8iJU7XBEHt4Zodnw--mwppRjwIf4e7sWvcB5reLKSUD9T2QH9F@eJSV0a2sttxP4PDpURe" rel="nofollow">[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
Best of luck, it's a big commitment in front of you and will bring to your life more joy and meaning than you could know, so work as hard as you can, please.
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There is something you need to know about to avoid future mistakes like this. Take the advice about seeing a lawyer ASAP.
What I'd like to share is the main reason behind why she lied about her age and knowingly chose to seek out a boyfriend much older and why you didn't think to check her age or use a condom, etc....
The frontal lobe of the brain matures long after a person's body matures with puberty and becomes capa ble of having sex. The scary thing is that when still immature, this part of the brain which normally controls good judgement, ability to plan well and foresee any possible problems, etc... is unable to do so cus its not fully grown. Scientists have agreed that the frontal lobe isn't usually complete and so our decision making and choices better, until we reach an average age of mid 20s. At 16, she's far from that. Remember I said average age, so some may be late bloomers in the brain maturing department and by 25 not yet capable of making good solid adult decisions yet on their own and I know from a couple of my kids or their friends that mental maturity didn't come into until they were about to hit age 30. You are kind of in between there. Only you can be the judge of whether you still tend to make a lot of bad decisions, not clearly thinking of the possible consequences before making a choice, or if this was the only time you messed up. You might want to find a much older adult, not a peer, but an older adult whom you trust and can be open with to share things like this with BEFORE you make any decisions. the ultimate decision is still your own but you need the help of input from different view points before the fact, not after. So lets say I am the person who knows you well and you knew you could tell me anything without being judged, and you told me you just met a girl you'd like to date and you are also sexually very attracted to her. She has told you she is 18 and you know you are much older. What are my feelings on this. My knowledge of how I was as a teen and all teen and college age struggle with the immature frontal lobe, I would have asked, "How do you know that she is really 18? Do you believe everything you hear or read and take it at face value? Do you believe those crazy tabloids that say some celebrity was imprenated by an alien with a photo of something meant to portray an alien baby and think it must be true cus its in a newspaper, so it must be true??? Yes, there are lots of gullible adults in the world but you don't have to be one of them. I would have suggested you find a way to learn of her age, either taking a peek at her driver license or going to meet her family and then casually asking the parents, "So when did Lindsey graduate?" You'd have known instantly that something was wrong when their puzzled looks at you and response was, "But she has graduated yet, she doesnt for another year and a half. Why do you ask?" It would have been then you could be honest and say "She told me she was 18. And I was interested in dating her. I am so sorry. I will take off and leave her alone, I would not be that dumb to do anything with a minor. You might want to talk to her about this lying about her age thing." then leave. If she couldn't agree to you meeting her folks, then you know something is up. You really need to find someone, parents or other whom you can use as a sounding board, someone you talk to about your day, issues at work, events in your life so that if you dont see a possible situation or problem coming up, this adult can and give you a warning. Eventually and hopefully you will learn how to make better adult decisions. Your first step will be using a lawyer to help you know what to do. To avoid needing a lawyer or having major issues in your life in the future, even if not related to getting someone pregnant, you will want to get the advice beforehand, not afterwards as you have done by writing us.
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The first thing you need to do is find a good criminal defense lawyer. The last thing you want is a public defender. The fact that she lied is not a defense. If she is under the age of consent you could be in deep legal trouble. Anyone from the doctors to her parents can report this to the proper authorities. You need to speak with a lawyer and find out just where you stand with any criminal charges.
Most states have raised the age of consent to 18 to go along with the no child left behind education program to lower the age a student can drop out without parents consent. Even if the age of consent is 16 or less in your state you still stand a chance of being charged with corrupting a minor. If you ever took her across a state line you could be charged under the Federal Mann Act.
Once you know where you stand within the Criminal Justice system then the lawyer can work on your paternal rights, such as visitation and custody. As the father you are legally responsible for this child until it is 18 years old. This means court ordered child support is probably in your future, something you are going to need a lawyer to help with as well. A the father you also have legal rights as to visitation and certain custody rights.
At a bare minimum you will be required to provide child support based on your earnings, a percentage that changes as your earnings improve but not as they decrease if they do. You will be required to maintain health insurance for the child and a life insurance policy on yourself to cover the child support in case of your death.
Given your situation the child support is the easy part. Your criminal situation is the part that could be life changing. Depending on the state you live in. The age of consent and the punishment under the laws of that state. You could be facing life in prison for statutory rape. Then if they really want to beat you down there is the possibility of a half dozen other crimes you could be charged with depending on the laws in your state.
Don't wait to be arrested, be proactive and find a criminal defense lawyer now. Call the Bar Association for a referral if you need too.
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It depends entirely on the area you live in. The laws about age of consent, statutory rape and father's rights differ from place to place.
You should speak to a lawyer. Stop posting online. Just talk to a lawyer.
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Hi there!
Oh Im so sorry this has happened!
First things first,you need to have a very serious talk with your girlfriend,mention in this talk that you want to be involved in your baby's life and that by her lying to you about her age could get you in all sorts of trouble.Mention,that,yes,this will be hard,to talk to her parents,I know this does not seem at this moment the greatest thing to do,but may the best.It will show that you are responsible enough to be honest,second,make sure your girlfriend,mentions,that she lied about her age to you from the very beginning,because,how could you have known her age?
After this discussion,as you will be asked many questions:
How will you provide for the baby?
What job do you have?
Do you have insurance?
Do you have a clean,and neat house/apartment to live in?
Are you financially stable?
You may be asked questions such as these,so be prepared,there is the possibility that you will not be charged.Someone would have to press charges for you,ask,that charges not be pressed,as you were,indeed decieved and you will provide for your child.
If you are charged,get a lawyer that specializes in cases such as these,as they are all too common,if you have NO record of any crimminal activity,have a steady job and life,and people who can put in a good word for you,can lessen the charge to muc much much less.
Be blessed and hope it all works out for you!
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Idk what the age of consent is in your state but it sounds like your about to be in some hot water here.
Even at 18 you are way older then her, mentally and maturity wise. Im sure you realize this(even if she is wise beyond her years) your still like ten years older here. If it were less (because my now husband is 7 years older) than ten years i wouldnt have such a problem with it buti have to ask how long you were with this girl and how well did you get to know her before you decided to just have sex with her??
usually one tries to get to know someone on a deeper level before having what i assume was unprotected sex?? even two consenting adults should be using protection until they are ready to risk the chance of pregnancy. no condoms, no sex. its as simple as that. Anything else and your putting BOTH yourselves at risk.
I sorry that you didnt have the foresight to realize the gravity of this situation before it was literally right on top of you but i hope you can turn this into a learning experience.
Now all you can do is talk to her,ask her if she wants to keep the baby, if she does it might be a good idea to stay away but be supportive. If you sign the birth certificate and they realize your older there might be a problem. You also wouldnt be able to be there for the birth, the appointments, and alot of other milestones because of this issue. Ask her if thats really something shes ok with....
You can still support her and the baby but she may not be able to tell certain people who the father is because they might pick up the phone and call CPS. Anyone can do it, even a family friend so she needs to be extremely careful about who she tells. If she cares for you and wants a real future where your NOT in jail and can work and care for the baby then she shouldnt tell anyone.
I dont encourage this usually but maybe once youve spoken with her and made her understand the gravity of all of this, then ask her if she wants to go through with the pregnancy, if she doesnt you can offer to pay for the procedure at a clinic. (its just an option though, and i think you have the right to say something to her she may not want to hear because of the fact that she lied to you over something so major that it could put you behind bars) and maybe you should mention that.
good luck and i hope that things turn out ok for you and her both.
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