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I am not a bad guy but my ex brought the bad out of me.
Hello I'm 13 years old and I have been through a fake relationship 2 years ago and it effects my courage and feelings today. There are many girls that went to my school and are going to my high school that I could have asked but I'm afraid. I think ill either be turned down or dumped. I am not a bad guy but my ex brought the bad out of me. We were friends for 6 months and I was already obsessed with her. Me and her always wrote notes to each other and we flirted alot. Then I gathered my courage before Christmas break and asks her out on the notes and she said yes. After that she never hugged me or touched me. Then she came to me a week later saying that my so call friend named chance said our relationship isn't real and I said why do you believe what he says and she cried and walks away. I talked shit to chance even though he was a football player and I confronted him. He said what she said he said. Then they went to see a movie with the school and I stayed back at school.and people came back telling me chance as holding her hand and I was pissed. I went to MacKenzie in 3rd hour the next day and dumped her and she said I already dumped you when I held chance's hand. That set me off. I said you were never worth my time you worthless bitch and walked away as the bell rang. She cried for the rest of the afternoon. A year later I find her on facebook and I decided to say hi and start as friends and she cussed me out and I don't respond.i look at her page and find her kissing like 50 different boys in sexual positions bit not doing anything but kissing. So I call her a slut and she cried again. She even put me on blast about our old relationship. I'm afraid of asking til this day for that very reason. She also said she'll get her boyfriend who I a wrestler on me if she sees me again.please help.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Abusive Relationships?
Hey there, First thing you need to do is stop looking at her Facebook page, and disconnect all ways of communication. Then if any more threats come up report her and her boyfriend to an adult or someone that has some sort of authority. Once that is out of the way you need to start letting go of what happened, once you do this it will be easier to start moving on. Lastly make sure that the girl you decide to ask out is someone you know and has given signs to you that she likes you. And make sure it is someone you trust and know won't do something like that to you. And one more thing make sure when you ask her out there is no pressure on either person and that you confront her face to face in a private conversation to ask her out. Once you let go of your ex and leave her behind it will be easier for you to do these things.
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So you got burned by a crazy b*tch who likes to set guys against one another for amusement.
Chance was your friend? Bros b4 hoes, little dude. You should never have talked shit to him just on the say-so of this girl.
It sounds like she was Chance's g/f and was just keeping you on the side. Probably a few other guys too. They do that - they like to keep options open. You became a problem with her primary relationship at the time, so she shut you down. End of story. This wasn't a problem for her because, like I said, she was keeping a few other guys just like you on the string in case Chance the footballer dumped her. Hell - 50 different boys doesn't tell you everything you need to know?
Why did she cry the rest of the afternoon? Because girls like drama. She was having a great old time, turning on the waterworks. It's just this thing she likes to do.
You were right when you said that she was never worth your time. Stalking her on facebook was stupid. Don't do it again. Damn right she'll sic her wrestler b/f on you and he will pound your face to jelly.
You don't need help. What you need is to never speak to or deal with this insane person ever again.
PS: and stop jerking off over her (gee, how did I know you were doing that?).
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So I'm going to start off saying that pretty much everyone is afraid of rejection. Because honestly, rejection sucks. But in order to start dating, you'll have to put yourself out there.
Clearly you had a bad relationship. You both are young and she was being immature. But you can't change what other people do and how they act. You can only choose how you act. You reacted poorly to everything that happened.
You didn't act mature at all. It doesn't matter what you think she deserves because she held some guys hand. You shouldn't have called her any times. That is immature.
On facebook she shouldn't have cussed you out and put your relationship on blast. That is immature. But like I said before, you can't control what other people do, just what you do and how you react.
And again, you decided to go on her page for no reason and call her names again. Ten times more immature.
Don't contact her ever again. Block her, ect.
You both have a lot of maturing to do.
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I can say with all experience of going thru that age range myself once upon a time, that this kind of "shit" as you'd most likely call it, happens at this point in time. The kids themselves may not turn out to be terrible people when they mature and grow up but during the teen years can easily be at their worst.
There will be however teens who do have their heads on straight and treat others much better. But for the most part, lots of the problems stem from ones thinking and reasoning abilities at this age and its easily explained. We think we are grown up because our bodies look grown up and due to recent puberty we have our sexuality now but the one thing not done growing in humans at this point is the frontal lobe of the brain which wont be completely done growing and mature until at least our mid 20's. I am not spouting my guesses here, there are scientific studies done to prove this.
So, as I said, it comes with the territory.
What I do suggest for yourself is that you make a personal decision to no longer take things personally when someone treats you in a manner this is disrespectful, hurtful, mean, etc.... because they just dont know any better and more likely, just aren't capable of doing better for the reason I mentioned. They may also have parents will lots of relationship trouble and have no better example to draw upon on how to act towards others or treat others.
It is also for these reasons that dating at the teen years rarely lasts more than a couple weeks to a couple months. If you can date for 6 months to a year before a breakup, you're actually doing way better than the majority.
All the issues you've had so far, are easily avoided with maturity on both parts, hers and yours.
First of all, this other kid spouting that you had a fake relationship was best to not take personally. No one can really know as an outsider especially with same age and little experience in dating due to the age they are at, exactly what the status of your relationship is with anyone. they can make guesses, but not truly know. So first off, it was best to ignore what he said. It looks like he wanted her for himself so he planted doubts in her mind. Due to her age, inexperience, and being too naive, she fell for the lie and believed what she heard.
It would be a good thing for you to learn now that for someone who knew you well enough after 6 months of being friends to even believe anything said about you that was negative, means they are tossing all they know of you to the wind and making a decision to believe what some other person says to the negative of you. I am sorry to say that some adults never grow up at all and do this all their lives or take a very long time to mature due to lack of knowledge of how to do better, regardless of the brain maturing status. So you can see this at any age. Somebody wants a person who has been in a long term relationship with someone, even married or not, and knows they are not available until they can put doubt into their mind and so a person bent on untruthful ways of getting who they want would approach one partner and tell them that they saw their sweetie fooling around with, or cheating with someone else and make it sound like they really care and dont want you hurt. So now its upon the person told the lie to either outright believe what they are told, or decide to spy and investigate on their own to discover if its true or not or, if its the case of two mature people truly in love and who know deep in their hearts without a shadoow of a doubt that each of you are madly in love with not just the looks but the personality of each other, then another pretty face or handsome face will not be able to lure ones love so easily away. If a woman said that to me of my husband, I would not believe her because I know him that well and also because I am very observant and would notice any change in behavior of his desire towards me. I even had occasion to be amused when some couples invited us along to a party at the home of a single lady our age for New Years. SHe got really drunk and was trying to force my husband to dance with her in front of me, looking to see if I would react jealously. I could do nothing but laugh as I saw his uncomfortable look as I know he can't stand dancing due to the affects of his high level functioning autism and I know he's in love with me and gets absolutely no pleasure from another woman paying him attention or trying to paw over him. So, in the end, if a girl would so easily believe someone saying its a fake relationship, then you need to learn, such a person either didn't know you well enough, or they are a bad judge of character to believe him over you, and definitely not worth the getting angry over and resorting to name calling.
You did what many at your age would do. I wouldnt call it bringing out the worst in a person. This is another thing you need to learn as this is something peoople tend to do all their life long. They put on a mask, a fake personality...different from what the guy was getting at as I highly doubt he understands this yet himself. People want to make a good impression on others and know deep down what their faults are. So they not only hide their faults but pretend to be someone, have the same intereests or whatever, just to get the other person and date them. We tend to become someone we really aren't. There is a danger to that. The other could fall in love with the person they think you are only to be dissappointed when they find out you aren't who you really pretended to be, or what you perceive as your oown faults they don't see as such, it doesnt boother them but they are upset over the lies, or what really bad habits that could threaten a relationship or weaken them, are something that eventually drive them away from you. It takes a lot of personal energy and thought into keeping up a false front, a pretence, a lie, always having to be on your toes and aware and no person has that kind of unending energy to keep up the pretence so eventually, a crack in the shining armor you wear will develop and a glimpse of who you really are leaks out. I have experienced this when dating after an abusive marriage. After 5 dates, the guy relaxed and let a little bit of who he really was inside leak out, I witnessed terrible behaviour from him and dumped him immediately. It was the same exact thing I had seen when early on in my bad marriage. And no, its not a one time mistake that people usually make. Although when young we can make mistakes. But once someone calls you on it and you are truly sorry and resolve to never do it again, yoou won't if it was merely due to immaturity, lack of experience, etc. But if this is something that is a part of your character that you choose to be like and know its wrong but dont want to change, like a hateful bullying type of person, someone who likes to cut others down, be cruel and inflict pain on humans and animals alike, etc..., whatever lies hidden deep down in their character, its more likely that the first time you see a glimpse of something bad that there is a heck of a lot more lying hidden where that came from.
All you can do is to avoid people like this once you learn of who they really are and where they are at in their maturity. So do not talke to her, approach her, nothing. Also steer widely clear of the guy who lied to her. Your teen years are stressful enough without going looking to add more stress by associating with people like that and its not even real friends by those who'd stab you in the back the next chance they got.
Look for people who genuinely want to be with you and want to get to know you and know you well enough to understand when someones accuses you of something that it isn't true. thats a true friend, or girlfriend.
So if the pool of people you are currently looking to find friends in is the 'popular crowd' like the football jocks, cheerleaders and party girls who look really hot, then stop looking at what the person looks like on the outside and start looking at their behavior. You just may have a good chance of finding someone capable of being a true friend among the brainiacs, the nerds, the other less populars, maybe the goths, the so called duffs, who aren't even ugly or fat, just not accepted by the majority. thats where my daughters searched for friends while in high school and found plenty. Hope this helps encourage you.
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Block her, and stop talking to her.
You called her names, and where mean, for no reason. You may not be a bad guy, but you certainly choose to act like one, when you tracked her down on Facebook and decided to attack her.
She may have cussed you out, and that is rude, but what you did was pointless, deliberate and malicious. Never do something like that again. If someone is rude to you, and doesn't want to be your friend, be an adult and walk away. Don't start stalking and attacking them on Facebook. That is NEVER an appropriate response to anything anyone ever does to you.
She doesn't want you in her life, so stop intruding. Block her. Ignore her. Stop talking to her. Don't talk about her publicly. You are not her friend. Neither of you want to be friends. Move on.
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