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need answers from men please
My fiancée is amazing or so i thought i fought him texting girls saying he wanted to fuck them and be with them but at the same time he said to them i love my woman tho ill never leave her what should i do we been together for three years hes talked to everyone with a vagina lol im sad lonely and wanna die i know he wont cheat but i cant get over the hurt he wont even admit to talking to anyone idk what to do i love him
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Abusive Relationships?
Go find you a new man, he will be a problem down the line.
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I must disagree with the other answer to this question. Instead of just taking it as "All men do this, so it's ok..." approach what you should try is to spice up your relationship. Men are like dogs, not to sound rude, but they can be trained - as long as you are suiting their needs and wants. Perhaps ask your man what he wants in the relationship that might be different Sometimes men will go through this if they've become bored with the relationship as sad as it is. Be open with him, explore with him. Make him see what he would be missing if he ever did screw things up. Make him want you more. Try changing things up in the bedroom, give him massages, make him a sandwich, seriously catering to your man will make him happy - which will make you happy in the long run. I don't know your living situation but I will assume he works hard. Even if you work hard as well, never fail to recognize how amazing he is. The whole point is to make him fall in love with you all over again, and maybe make cell phone/computer rules. If you don't go on your cell phone, or the computer around him - let him know it would mean a lot to you if he reciprocated the favour. Then at least you won't have to see him "sneak" texts. Also, gain his trust by leaving your cell phone out, your facebook open etc.. a relationship is a two way street and what you put out into it, you will get from it. :) Good luck.
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Honestly, lots of us are like this. Me, I think about doing it with other women all the time. The difference being that I don't text them saying it, and I don't do it. It's very hard not to think about it. But it's better to think about it than to act it out. He probably can't control the urges, and telling the girls what he wants to do probably helps him release some of the tension. I'm 19, and a virgin, been with my girlfriend for a year and a half. The urge for me is real, but I don't bug my girlfriend about it. It's normal to think about F-ing other girls, but the telling them should go. He could get in trouble for harassment, OR, he could end up cheating.
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Okay, I had to read your question and adviceman49's response cus i was curious. Then I thought I possibly verify what he wrote as far as how important good communication is. I tried the communicating with my ex. It did not help because he was the sort of person who did not think there was any talking needed about anything I brought up and would always turns issues around and tell me that it was just I that had the problem or that I was causing the issues and there wouldnt be any if I would just shut up and not go trying to make issues. Of course, I am no longer with him. It was a one sided marriage of only one person doing all the work to try to make the relationship work and hold together. Hold together it did for 30 years until I finally left.
So my point is the same, do try talking to him.
If he doesn't want to discuss it, or becomes defensive, then he doesnt love you deeply enough to be concerned about your feelings or how something he is doing is hurting or bothering you.
I wouldn't be wanting to marry someone like that too quickly. Either put the marriage off a while to see if his character can improve, or call off the wedding. If you decide to marry, don't expect anything to get better because most likely it will only get worse.
Hopefully the talk will help.
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You have not supplied enough information to give you any real good advice.
Before my wife and I married she told me I could look at the menu all I wanted but if I ever re-ordered or sampled from the menu she would cut a very important appendage of mine off. That was 43 years ago 2 weeks ago come next Saturday. Talking and looking are the same thing or have been the same thing in our marriage as my job had me talking with many beautiful women on a daily basis. I came home each night, slept in my wife's bed and told her about all the women I spoke to each day.
He spoken to them, he has not touched them and I assume if he sleeps with anyone it is you he sleeps with. The only thing missing here is you two have not spoken about this and you should. You need to find out why he is talking to these women.
I'm not going to say him doing so is right or wrong at this time as you don't know why he is doing so. One reason may be plain old groom jitters. We all get them just like brides do. Before you do anything rash you need to talk to him and find out why.
There is also a lesson here one that tells you why my marriage has lasted as long as it has. My wife and I have good communication between us. Yes, we have had our disagreements but we discuss them and eventually come to an understanding. In any relationship be it a love relationship or work relationship if you want it to be a lasting relationship you must have good communication between you in every facet of your relationship.
In a marriage this would include; finances, children, inter-personal relationships with each others family and sex. All of these items play a very important role in a marriage and communicating between you in these areas makes for a good marriage. If you cannot talk to him about this and find out why then how are you going to be able to work out any other problems that may come up during your lifetime together. Problems do come up especially when the children come along so learn to talk to one another.
As I said I cannot say he is wrong or right as you have not supplied the WHY of it. Talk; do not confront as all that does is put him on the defensive. Find out the why. It may be he is just having some fun.
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