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need help moving on
i use to date this guy named alex a month ago. he's a freshman in college and im a senior in high school.i can say that I was really in love with him enough to lose my virginity to him and he's one those guys that doesn't show his feelings and he hasn't been in many real relationships and I know what we had was real. we broke up because he never made time for me when he came into town for the weekend and we never really had the typical relationship regular people had. all we did was txt and occasionally oovoo. I wanted him to do the simplest things to show he cared and he never did. I cant really explain all the wrong things because no one gets it but me. and I just really got fed up with it all and ended it. and right after I started talking to this guy named allah. he's perfect and he does everything that alex never did and I really like him. the problem is that its hard to let him in because of past things with alex. I told alex everything , our connection was different than ive had with anyone. I cant open up or let myself love anyone else. im even scared to have sex with him because I don't feel right having sex with someone else. if im being honest I still have feelings for alex and I haven't let go of him hurting me so much. I literally just found the guy I want but still stuck on feelings for alex. he was really something special to me and idk how to move on. allah understands it all but why cant I just let go of alex
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
See this is a good example of why a young woman/firl should not be having sexual relation with a male/man...when a woman has sex, with any male she gets, for lack of a better word..tied to that man...that's why women of old didn't have sex and were chaperoned...a young woman needs to focus on her life...and what she wants..a husband or school or what ever, not hankering for some dude that used her as a receptacle (sorry) a warm place to put it...your not in a relationship..hes just doing you...get it? yea you care but he could care less...get it? that's nature for a man to put his Penis into everything that's walk are you understanding...don't have sex with young men, plain and simple....don't lay down and spread your legs, count yourself lucky you didn't get pregnant...its no fun taking care of a baby with no daddy...stop having sex with him...keep busy and stop putting out...understand? DO IT. now go and make something of your life, or at least don't get pregs...
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Just remember that love has some scars that can be healed only by either love itself or time
Try to not see him often but talk at least once in a while and tell your friends to try not to bring upp your past relationship with Alex
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You have to have time to get over your ex before you go into another relationship. Thats just adding stress to your heart and feelings. in order the move on your gonna have to focus on yourself for a while before going out and falling for another guy. when you still have feelings for your ex most likely ur going to see characteristics of your ex in your new guy and thats going to keep the feelings for your ex alive. what i think you should do is just be friends with allah for now and if he truely understands and wants to be with you then he wil give you your space so u can get over alex and then in the future be serious with allah .
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You didn't give yourself enough time to move on. You still miss your ex.
This new guy could be everything you wanted but because you just jumped into talking to someone else and didn't give yourself time to accept that it's now over and it's in the past, you won't ever be able to move on.
Right now, you need to give yourself some time. At least you're honest with yourself and admitting that you still have feelings for your ex and haven't let go.
Take a break from this guy and be honest with yourself. When you get lonely, don't just go running back.
It will take time to move on. You really cared about him. Just take time to accept that it's over, even though you guys had great memories, it wasn't meant to be. You don't need to hate him anymore, you just need to be like, "It was fun, it was real, but he wasn't the right guy for me."
Once you feel ready again, then go ahead and date. But right now, it's not fair to you and any other guys you date.
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First loves are always hard to get over. I'm old enough to be your grandfather and I still remember my first love and the first girl I ever had sex with. They just happened to be the same girl. I don't think you ever truly get over your first love as it is a milestone in your life and maybe you should not ever really get over your first love for it is a memory of what love first meant to you.
That last line may be a little confusing when you first read it. What I mean is as we go through life things get blurred even in our love life and even with the person we married. This is when drawing on memories of what love means to us, such as a first love, we can correct the course we may have mistakenly taken. What it doesn't mean is we should sit and pine for a first love lost as first loves are just that, a first a learning tool.
The expression; "time heals all wounds," is appropriate in your situation. It is obvious your love for Alex was greater than his love for you hence the break up and a love not meant to be. Depending on how long ago you and Alex broke up your relationship with Allah is a rebound affair and is why you cannot get comfortable with him.
How much time did you give yourself to get over Alex? A relationship such as the one you had where you surrendered something special to him needs to be mourned; did you give yourself enough time to morn? I cannot tell you how much time that takes as each person needs a different amount of time. It would appear you have not taken enough time.
My wife would tell you that you need to give yourself a pity party. To sit down with a quart of your favorite ice cream, put on your favorite comfy nightgown, watch your favorite love story on the DVD player and have a good cry. Then go out with you girlfriends and have a good time.
Understand that some things are meant to be and some things are not meant to be. Your romance with Alex was not meant to be anything more than two ships passing in the night; so treat it as such and move on. Your relationship with Allah has to be seen as being with him and not compared to Alex. IF you are comparing him to Alex then this is a rebound romance which says you are not ready yet for another relationship.
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