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Gender: Female
Member Since: June 19, 2014
Answers: 5
Last Update: June 19, 2014
Visitors: 1272
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i use to date this guy named alex a month ago. he's a freshman in college and im a senior in high school.i can say that I was really in love with him enough to lose my virginity to him and he's one those guys that doesn't show his feelings and he hasn't been in many real relationships and I know what we had was real. we broke up because he never made time for me when he came into town for the weekend and we never really had the typical relationship regular people had. all we did was txt and occasionally oovoo. I wanted him to do the simplest things to show he cared and he never did. I cant really explain all the wrong things because no one gets it but me. and I just really got fed up with it all and ended it. and right after I started talking to this guy named allah. he's perfect and he does everything that alex never did and I really like him. the problem is that its hard to let him in because of past things with alex. I told alex everything , our connection was different than ive had with anyone. I cant open up or let myself love anyone else. im even scared to have sex with him because I don't feel right having sex with someone else. if im being honest I still have feelings for alex and I haven't let go of him hurting me so much. I literally just found the guy I want but still stuck on feelings for alex. he was really something special to me and idk how to move on. allah understands it all but why cant I just let go of alex (link)
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You have to have time to get over your ex before you go into another relationship. Thats just adding stress to your heart and feelings. in order the move on your gonna have to focus on yourself for a while before going out and falling for another guy. when you still have feelings for your ex most likely ur going to see characteristics of your ex in your new guy and thats going to keep the feelings for your ex alive. what i think you should do is just be friends with allah for now and if he truely understands and wants to be with you then he wil give you your space so u can get over alex and then in the future be serious with allah .
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I am from india.
i am 22 , never had a girlfriend . i dont know why.
its not like i am ugly but still . never had sex . next year i finish my college , got a campus placement in a good European company.
but it all feels so sick . i like a girl in college shes cute but i dont feel like disturbing her.
i love my parents but you know i cant talk to them about certain things and these things are killing me from inside.i am depressed , dont know what to do...
i want it to be over soon. (link)
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Do not ever think to kill yourself because you never had a girlfriend or never had sex . maybe to get a girlfriend yo need to put yourself out there more but dont try to find a girlfriend just for sex . trust me falling in love from sex isnt a good thing its not real love its just lust . its a better thing to save yourself when your married because then you know that the feeling your having is real . and yeah talking to ur parents is hard but it might help you a little bit , but thats depending on what type of parents that you have. just dont give up , ur still young nobody gets a perfect love story . your time will come and when it does you willl be happy with the results .
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I've been in a relationship with a girl from overseas for almost two years. I'm a 26 y/o guy, and she's 24. She came with me here about a year and a half ago. I treat her well, romance her, buy her roses, bake her cakes, take her out when I have time, tell her that she's beautiful, help her look for work, and a lot with English.
Last year she started acting funny and talking about a guy, and I found out she cheated on me by looking at her phone, and reading her emails (Not saying this was right, just that I did it). I confronted her, but I never really felt she thought what she did was wrong. I promised not to look at her stuff again.
For the half year since then she's been using her phone a ton, and hiding it from me. Lately she has been getting calls and messages from the guy she cheated with on me again, so often that even though she doesn't want me to know, it's inevitable that I would see at some point. She gets pissed off over trivial things, she's stuck to her phone 24/7, we hardly ever have sex anymore, and sometimes I don't feel like she even wants to be here.
So I gave her time, and everything just felt kind of wrong. I broke my promise and checked up on her. She's still cheating on me, and things never really stopped. She tells me she's faithful, nothing has happened, and she loves me, but I know she's lying.
Recently she got offered her dream job in my country, and the contract process is happening fairly quickly. She's staying here on a Partner visa with me, and we live together. If I break up with her, she either has to leave within a month, or become illegal. Apart from that, it will obviously make my life more hellish for that month than it already is living with a person who you know is lying to you with a straight face, while making out with another guy. I know that she is planning to stay with me for the two years it will take for her to gain permanent residence, and then leave me for the guy she is cheating on me with.
In my country, you can only ever sponsor two people to be partners, and if your first partner is granted PR, the length your second one has to wait grows to 5 years, rather than just 2.
I don't know how to handle breaking up with her, and what to say to who, when. I don't want to be taken advantage of, or have my name smeared by this. Breaking up with her before she gets PR will pretty much destroy her whole life as she knows it. She quit her job to come here with me, which is kind of a black spot on her employment history in her home country. I feel angry and upset about what she has done to our relationship, but I'm still battling feelings of love for her, and I don't want to see her broken. I wish everything I know about what's happened could be a lie, but I know it's not, so I have to deal with it.
To complicate things, accepting the job involves costly medical and security checks for her, and may mean we consider moving. I'm at university, and I only just found this out, right before the exam period. I really don't want to think about this before exams, and I definitely don't want to break up with her just before my first exam, so I am putting it off, but I feel so guilty for "supporting" her through the process of getting checks and references for this job that I know will be difficult if not impossible for her to keep.
What would you do?
What should I tell her? The truth? Or that I've fallen out of love, but don't know why? Or that one of her friends told me the truth?
How do I deal with the stress of living together with this oblivious lying girl who tells me she loves me?
What should I do to handle the resistance that I'm likely to have to breaking up with her? She won't want to break up with me, because she wants PR.
Can you tell me some steps and the order in which I might do them?
Any other general advice about the situation that I haven't asked a specific question about is more than welcome.
Thanks in advance.
-Troubled (link)
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First im going to tell you how i feel about this situation and then tell you what i would do And im going to be straight up . This girl , shes using you . If shes still cheating on you with this guy then she doesnt want you for love she wants him . She only wants you for her to get her permanent residence. And you keep supporting her and that makes her feel like this is okay for her to do . Your worried about hurting her but shes already hurting you ? why would you keep staying with her while shes being all lovey dovey with another guy? i think what you should do is tell her you know the truth and you have to move on from her because this is adding a whole bunch of stress on you. Your in school right now and you dont need to be so stressed and not focused . Its not going to be the end of the world breaking up with her , i promise you that . yes it might be painful thats true but its worth going through that then to suffer for a longer period of time . the longer you put up with her bullcrap is the longer your gonna be suffering from it. letting go is the best thing to do in your situation .
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I think death is my answer. I have no life . How can I end it all I'm chicken but I want to. Or give my life to someone who really needs it like a cancer patient... but not sure if I'll be around long enough to read and answer that no one gives a cap about but I don't have anyone I can talk to. Who knows but that's my best bet .... (link)
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First of all death is never the answer . Right now is probably the hardest part in your life and that happens to everyone . All you have to do is find something to take your mind off of the bad things in life . Try playing games or sports or something that you would have an interest in doing . Dont give up , i promise you good things happen to those who wait . this time right now is the waiting part that your going through and in the end of your waiting something really good will happen to you . keep your head up , put a smile on your face and dont let people or stuff bring you down . trust me ive been in this situation before too . it just takes patients to get through this .
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Several months ago I started seeing this really amazing guy. We are both in college; he is graduating in a few days and moving away for work. His job is 6 hours away (driving), but less than an hour by plane and tickets are very cheap.
He doesn't believe that a long distance relationship will work, and wants to become "just friends" when he moves. His job relocates every 2 years or so and he may eventually return to my city, but I'm scared that he will lose interest in me (as a friend and otherwise) in that time.
What should I do? (link)
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Being in a long distance relationship can be very troubled at times. I dont recommend being in one unless you know for a fact that you can trust him . And that you can trust yourself . You both with be away from each eachother most of the time and feelings can wonder off to another person . But in my eyes if he really liked you then he would give the long distance relationship a try , talk to him and ask him to just try it out for a while and if its not working then try being just friends and open yourself to new people . dont move to fast take things in a slow way and things should be better in time (:
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