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my girlfriend is controlling and jealous
my girlfriend of 3 years is constantly looking for fights. she says she gets mad when i don't give her attention and that's why she's always wanting to fight about nothing. when we start fighting she gives me the lowest blows though. she's always reminding me that she can get any guy she wants. which i already know but i don't need to be reminded. she calls me selfish and the worst boyfriend she's ever had. she's constantly telling me that if she wanted a crappy relationship she'd have stayed with her ex. not only that but she's very controlling, anytime i go out i have to pretty much ask permission. i don't like her talking to guys but all of her friends are guys and she knows how much i hate it but does it anyway. what do i do? i've tried so many times to let her go but i can't, i really love her. i just don't know how to get her to stop without starting another fight.
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I'm sorry, why do you still want to be with someone who treats you like that?!!!????....Seems the more important question here
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You have to think about what's best for you.
You're not happy in the relationship and you don't need someone controlling you. I mean if you stick with this, nothing is going to change and you're going to end up married to her, with kids and feeling more stuck and unhappy. Or you'll realize it by then and drag your kids through crap.
You need to think about your future.
You need to sit her down and tell her that you want to talk, you don't want to fight. Don't point fingers at her, that's when she'll most likely start getting defensive. Think your words through before you say them if you really want this to work. If the tension builds and you feel a fight coming on, take a break and go do something else until that feeling passes, then go back and continue talking.
If nothing changes, it's time to let go.
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You didn't provide age, so in case shes a teen, you may want to read this. Otherwise, you can ignore.
She may be a controlling manipulative person either way whether adult or teen, BUT...
There may be another factor for her behavior. You said shes been a girlfriend of yours for 3 years, not that she's been acting this way for 3 years. If she's been like this from the start, dump her...you deserve better.
If friends, family and you have noticed a gradual change in her behavior to what she's like now...it could be a drastic hormonal imbalance. There are many cases of females who go from sweeting caring personalitys to mean hateful bitch like people all due to the influence of hormones. A simple test at doctors office can determine if thats the case and if so, females are put on medication just for the teen years until the hormones level out on their own as she grows older. This would be something her parents would need to be aware of and take her to the Dr. to be checked out if all this seems to fit the scenerio.
Good luck.
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I know you probably don't want to hear this but she's very manipulative and controlling. Both qualities are not attractive at all. I would usually suggest sitting down with her and talking it out but it sounds like she is too selfish to consider anyone else's needs but herself. Do you see yourself with her for the rest of your life? It's your choice. From the sounds of it, it doesn't sound like you're too happy. Maybe it's time for you to move on and leave this girl and get a girl who is going to treat you well and be supportive. You don't want a girl who is going to hold you back from living life. You have to think of yourself. Why are you going to let someone treat you like that? Just think about it. Good luck!
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I'm sorry to tell you but from the sounds of it, I don't think you'll be able to make this one work no matter how much you love her. If she's telling you that you're a crappy boyfriend and she could get someone else that's kind of a sign that the feelings you have for her aren't mutual. If it was once or twice over the 3 years that this happened then you can just take it as anger speaking during an argument but it sounds like this is routine. You don't deserve that.
If she knows you don't like her talking to other guys but she does anyway and expects you to ask permission before you do anything, it doesn't sound like she has a lot of respect for you.
You say that you love her and can't let her go but do you love yourself? You deserve to have a happy relationship with someone who returns your love and appreciates you. I know the thought of breaking up is painful but you might want to think long and hard about it.
Hope this helps. Good luck.
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