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Abusive environment
My mother's last boyfriend was a bit unstable. He drank excessively, smoked marijuana, and couldn't manage his money, instead spending it on everything and anything. He recently lost his job, and out of pity my mother let him move back in with us. It's all ready been 4 months and though he's found a job he isn't leaving. He makes everyone uncomfortable. He plays really loud music so that the neighbours complain and drinks and smokes in the house. He hit my brother when he told him to stop. My mother's tried confronting him but he just twists her words around and says 'are you going to throw me on the streets?' and yesterday, I was alone in the house with him, and he was worse than usual and started screaming at me to undress because im such a whore. I don't feel safe in the house, and I'm just a bit scared and worried. Advice?
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This man needs reporting for sexual harassment at least, as I do not know your age, perhaps worse than that.
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First off. Your mother let him in as a helping hand. I would definitely talk to your mother about going to the police.
Verbal abuse or actual physical abuse is still abuse. No one deserves to be treated like that.
If his name is not on the Property you can get a restraining order Baring him from entering the residence. If he chooses to refuse the restraint he will and can go to jail.
If this situation has your mother siding with him against you. I would talk to a help line. Yes it's scary to ask for help. But you don't have to live with this hon. Trust me :) It can get better. If that is the case here is a few help lines.
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Wishing you the best.
Prayers for you.
Jasmine
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I agree with everything solidadvice4teens has written. I will add the following.
If you are alone in the house with this man and feel unsafe, at any time even if mom is at home, pick up a phone and dial 911. Regardless of your age you do not need parental permission to call 911 if you are scared and do not feel safe in your own home. What will happen is depending on what you tell the call taker; the call taker will stay on the line with you until a police officer arrives at your home.
The officer will talk to you and your mother's boyfriend. If the officer smells alcohol or marijuana on him he will be removed from the house. The officer also has the right to notify child protective services for intervention. They at the very least could serve him with a restraining order to keep him from returning to your home.
If you have been hit or hurt by this man the fire department will also be dispatched to care for you while paramedics are sent to evaluate your injuries if any.
When this man tells you to take off your clothes call 911 for this is sexual harassment of a minor. After talking to you the officer will most likely arrest this man.
You have every right to feel safe in your own home. If you do not feel safe you have every right to call 911 and no one can stop you. If you cannot safely call 911 from your own home leave the house and go to a neighbor's home to call 911 or the nearest fire or police station and ask for help. Your neighborhood fire stations are safe havens for children.
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You mother loves him so either turns a blind eye and or is also scared of him simultaneously. He's a bully and has no right to strike you or your brother. It's called assault and he should be charged with it. That would change everything.
What you should do is find an adult you really trust be it a teacher or relative and tell them the truth about how abusive your home life is and what he's doing with drugs, hitting people, threatening them and excessive drinking and especially the demands to undress because he thought you were a "whore."
It's disturbing but they can intervene and talk to your mother and provide you with counselling and other support. You need to talk to your mother both you and your brother in a controlled setting about the kind of damage this guy is inflicting and that maybe she should ask him to leave. Your welfare needs to be first.
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