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how to not get asked if youre married
it makes me mad to think of those things i mean ive been asked several times if i was married or dating which im neither and im not exactly ready for marraige and i do not know if im going to date or not but i dont like those kind of questions thatb idiotic people have asked im just not obsessed with dating or marraige so how can you make people stop asking you those questions
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You can't stop people from asking these types of questions.
It's simply just small talk. It doesn't make them idiotic people at all.
If it's the same people asking you these questions, just simply tell them that you're not interesting in dating at the moment. They'll stop. If it's people who don't know, they're gonna make small talk with you.
I have the same problem except with a different subject. People will always ask me if I'm going to college. I'm 19 and still struggling with finding out what I want to do and still looking for a job so that I can afford college. It does make me feel bad, but it's small talk and you're just going to have to deal with it.
They'll ask me if I have a job, they'll ask me if I'm dating anyone. It's just talk.
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It just occurred to me that your issue might be with exactly who is asking these questions. If it was a stranger who was attracted to you and just wanted to know if you were married or in a relationship or open to dating, that is totally appropriate for such a person to ask if they have any morals at all and won't try to date someone who is married or already in a relationship. Once you've given your answer, it's highly unlikely the same stranger will approach again.
If it is those who are acquaintances, old friends you don't see regularly or mom who wants grandkids, and other relatives, then you need to be firm and let them know you do not appreciate being asked these types of questions because its personal. It really is no different than asking personal questions like, whens the last time you had sex or how often do you fight with your boyfriend or husband. It is just plain rude.
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This is a tough one for it is not something you are going to be able to stop people from asking, at least not the first time they ask it of you.
For the most part the people who ask this question are not being rude. They ask this question because they are interested in your well being. As a people and even most animals we seem to be happier when we are paired or mated with another. There are those among us though who are just as happy not to be paired to anyone specific person. You may be just that type of person.
Since as I said most people ask these types of questions out of sincere interest in your well being. I suggest you response be something to the effect; "At the moment I am happy being just who am right now. "I do not foresee marriage in my immediate future and as for dating I do so when it pleases me." "I enjoy my life just as it but thank you for asking."
In one sense you are responding with way to much information. In the other sense you are by doing so telling them politely they asked a question they should not have asked and if they read between the lines not to ask it again.
Admittedly some people are more dense then others and will ask again when next you meet. With those you may have to be more direct and say to them that you don't care for that question as it is invasive of your privacy.
If you continue to answer with the acceptable polite answer people will continue to ask you about your social life. As I said for most of those who ask it is out of genuine concern. Use the answer I have given you and put it into your own words. Your good friends should understand you don't want to be constantly asked about it and if anything changes in your life they will be the first to learn of it.
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You can't make it stop.
I agree that it is rude for people to ask young adults if they are married, or dating anyone, but much like asking a teenager or child what grade they are in - it's a standard cultural question. You aren't going to be able to make it stop.
If you start dating, you'll only have a few months before people start asking you when you plan to get married. If you get married, you've got a few months, maybe a year, before people start getting preoccupied with why you haven't had a baby yet.
Welcome to life.
There is no way to make this stop, especially if you are a woman. You are fighting thousands of years of cultural conditioning and expectations, and these sorts of expectations are going to follow you your entire life, and people will be curious, or downright rude, whenever you don't conform. They will call it concern, or conversation, but it's really just rude and it's something you need to learn to live with, and not let it bug you so much. You can do your best to surround yourself with like-minded people (my best friends would never think to badger my boyfriend and I about marriage) but other people will continue to ask these questions, and although it's tempting to go off on them and explain why that is a demeaning, intrusive and often sexist line of questioning, you are far better off to give a firm, but polite answer, and move on to other topics.
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