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Is this wrong?
So I feel that I am losing my bestfriend to her boyfriend. She spends most of her time with him & we are only 14. Is this wrong? Like everytime I try to hangout with her, she's always with him or has plans or the next busy with him. I feel that she is way too involved with him at this age. Like 14 years old you should be having fun with your friends, not making your boyfriend your life & priority. At this age is it wrong to be hanging out with your boyfriend more then your friends?
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
At the age of 14 it is pretty young to have a boyfriend. And you are right. At the end of the day people do what they want to sometimes though instead of listening to the advice that people give them. For instance, if you were to try and convince your friend that she shouldn't be so stuck on her boyfriend and that she should spend time with her friends as well, she may not listen. But in time she will learn. At this age, in my opinion and in most of others opinion it is only right for a kid to act their age instead of engaging into getting into relationships. She might learn that the hard way if she does end up clung to just her boyfriend. No one ever wants to hear this but truthfully relationships don't usually ever last specially at such a young age. The feelings aren't really all there and they don't really know what they want. She's got a whole life ahead of her and when she has grown and become a lot wiser then she can make better choices. She should enjoy spending time with her friend(s). Friendship can be more certain and last longer than a relationship around your age and around any age really. Around your age it's good to not get involved or to get caught up.
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You are completely right. You guys are fourteen and in the long run its sisters before misters. HOWEVER, ya'll are fourteen and sometimes that mean having to work on getting your priorities straight. She's confused and she doesn't know what really matters to her the most right now. And if she's any friend worth having, she'll eventually realized how wrong shes been treating you and she'll apologize. If not, then maybe it's not meant to be an eternal friendship. One of the hardest things to accept growing up is that all friendships don't last forever. Just because they end, doesn't mean they weren't great. And true friends will ALWAYS be there for each other, throughout a whole lifetime, but that doesn't mean you guys are going to be side by side forever. Good luck and I hope you can keep your patience and have hope!
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I experience the same thing with my best friend about a year ago. We would even make plans and she would suddenly cancel because her boyfriend wanted to do something. Of course I was hurt, just like you are. Feeling rejected in any situation sucks. After awhile I got used to it. I hate to tell you that there is really nothing you can do about it.
Your friendship will continue like this until one of two things happen:
A) She breaks up with him or vise versa. In which case she will need your support like never before.
B) You get a boyfriend and realize that it's normal.
You see, I thought my friend just didn't want to spend time with me anymore and that she was wrapped to tightly around her boyfriend. Until about 7 months into their relationship I got a boyfriend. All of a sudden I understood and I asked her for advice.
Whenever you get a boyfriend things change in your friendships. No matter how much you try to avoid it, it WILL happen.
Now I do see that your friend is young, which is why I feel that the relationship will NOT last forever. Or at the very least she will develop a schedule with him. (Takes about 4-5 months) before she starts making time for you again.
In any case, I suggest passing the time with other friends and family. Know that one day you will understand. Even though it's a terrible feeling, she really doesn't mean to hurt you. She just doesn't know she's hurting you- and if you tell her she won't know how to fix it.
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It's not good when you have a boyfriend and you put your friends aside. Hanging out with your boyfriend a lot isn't bad, but when you never have time for your friends, then it becomes a problem.
I think there should be an equal time for friends and a boyfriend.
Anyways, I think you should talk to her. Let her know that you miss spending time with her and you'd like to make plans. If she doesn't want to, she'll regret it in the long run.
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I have heard from some girls writing in who say that their best friend is a guy not a girl. They have not hung out with females much. While it hurts you, it may be normal for her. I was shy as a teen, but once an adult, I discovered I preferred males as friends over females. My husband has always preferred females as friends over males. He has only one male friend from childhood still in touch with and same for me with one female. Some people bond more closely in friendship with the same sex.
Is 14 too young to date? Depends in what context it is happening, gone on dates alone...probably not good. Group dates or hanging out at each others parents house are fine. Eventually when you meet a guy your crazy about, you'll see the same happen to you. It's called NRE New relationship energy and the two can obsess about each other for a while but it levels out. It often said about newlyweds that their friends havent seen them in ages but eventually they come around.
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