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is my bf cheating by giving bjs to a guy?
ok so my boyfriend is bisexual. which is alright with me, the other day he confessed that he and my best guy friend were curious. my boyfriend gave the guy a blowjob. he said he doesn't consider it to be cheating, and he says he would never cheat on me because he loves me. I consider it to be cheating, I mean what if he gets curious again? what should I do? I'm so confused, please help.
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Umm...that should be obvious.... sorry but your gullible...hes freakin gay not curious...and yes he cheating any other relationship whether announced or not is cheating.....dump him and tell him to get his mind straight...better yet himself straight
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Cheating is stepping outside the bounds of the relationship. There is no default relationship on earth where you can go get a blowjob from someone else. These are things that people discuss and allow, not things that are normal.
It's not overly uncommon for a bisexual person to have their partners permission to play and explore. Often there are limits. All of it is agreed to before anything ever happens.
There was no agreement between you, thus he did in fact cheat, and you should bring these concerns up to him because they are absolutely valid and you are absolutely right to feel like he violated your trust.
I am a bisexual guy as well, this is not how relationships work, and you shouldn't stand for it.
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Just because he is bisexual, doesn't mean it's not cheating, it makes it ten times worse.
A relationship is between two people. It means you two are only being physical and sexual.
He is bisexual, he is attracted to both males and females. So it's definitely not ok to hook up with someone else.
Even if he wasn't bisexual, it still wouldn't be right.
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He cheated, The whole idea of having a relationship or sexual contact with someone eles IS cheating.
Yes, I also agree he is using his sexual orientation as an excuse. It doesn't matter if he was curious or if was a male, female fact is he wasn't faithful. Obviously he doesn't love you enough to be faithful and committed to you. Time to kick him to the curb
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I need to straighten some facts out. First about normal relationships: Two heterosexuals in relationship is normal, so is two gay people, so is a straight person with a bi person but because the other is bi, that means they have a same sex sweetie known to the straight person. You can't be bi-sexual and be expected to give up having a same sex partner as well as the opposite sex one.
This falls under something called polyamory. And this is also normal. Some poly relationships may be 2 females who both share the same guy but the girls are not bi, and 2 guys who share one female but the men are not bisexual and sometimes it is two dating couples who switch off with each other because the wives of both couples love their husband and also the both love the guy half of the other couple.
None of this is cheating. Its only cheating if this is being done in secret behind somesone back and they haven't got the okay and permission from a partner to do so. So obviously this means good communication is important, also honesty, and trust.
Now, a female who wonders and is curious what it might be like to be with a female and trys it, that does not make her bi,, no more than you trying a cigarette once( but never picking up smoking) makes you a smoker. Same for a guy trying out a guy.
So what does make someone bi-sexual really? It is when you go beyond admiration of the looks of the same sex but you actually are turned on sexually aroused, and desire by them and they both the same sex as you but also the opposite sex.
So in answer to "what if he gets curious again, you can only be curious once. If you are curious what smoked salmon tastes like and try it, the first time you had it was do to curiousity. Now that you know what smoked salmon tastes like, can you still be curiousby them and they as to what its like? NO. Because you got a chance to sample it. So if you have it again, its because you have made a decision to, and why would you have it again if you don;t like it? Right? So that means you now like the salmon. Same thing for your boyfriend. Have a talk and ask him what he thought of it. Now that his curiosity is taken care of, would he do it again? If he says no, you can likely trust that is so. If he says yes, you might want to ask if it is because he is sexually turned on and desires guys as much as he desires girls or is he only going to a guy to get his horniness taken care of for now cus he doesn't want to pressure a girl to have sex before she's readly. Thats a slim chance but you have to know.
So when you talk with him, remember to set up some ground rules for your relationship, total honesty both ways. If you are really okay with him truly being bi sexual, then you need to let him know that. Tell him if you wish that you felt confused but now that you know what cheating really is and isn't you just want to make up some rules. Any time you or he, no longer want to be in the relationship, be honest. If one of you is interested in someone else but still also in each other, be honest. Teens shouldnt be taking on the challenge of multiple relationships at this age. It is way harder than a monogamous one and that one is hard enough for most people, adults included to figure out. If you come up with any new questions related to this, you can write directly to my inbox but dont put it as a comment with your rating cus I can't give answers in that setup. I know what I am talking about as far as bi and poly because I used to hang out with a lot of people like that and was poly-straight but had bi friends.
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Just because he was involved with a guy doesn't mean it shouldn't be considered cheating. He is using his sexual curiosity and orientation as an excuse to lead you to believe that he was only experimenting, rather than cheating on you. The truth is, when someone is in a relationship and then gets involved with another person in a romantic or sexual way, then they cheated on their boy/girlfriend or spouse.
Your boyfriend wants you in the picture while he has the freedom to experiment with other guys. Now, unless you both agree to be in an open relationship (and by the way things sound, you would not be okay with that), meaning you are BOTH okay with having any form of sex with other people, then it really isn't fair for you to put up with his behavior.
To be fair, he is young, and what he is going through is a very normal part of his sexual growth and identity. But what doesn't make it okay, is that he is getting involved with other guys while he is in an exclusive relationship with you. It seems to me that at this point, he has too much to sort through in terms of his sexuality to be in any sort of serious relationship. He should really take this time to sort through his sexual preferences, desires, orientation, etc., because until he is ready to commit to one person at a time, his curiosity and desire will get the better half of him.
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Of course it's cheating. To claim otherwise is the worst load of nonsense I have ever heard in my life.
The gender of the partner is not important, what is important is that he engaged in sexual activity - and pretty hardcore sexual activity too.
I would treat this situation exactly the same way as you would treat it if he had been cheating on you with a girl.
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