|
Why do i believe im such a slut
i am so ashamed but where do i start basically im 19 i already have a one year old not with the father because i choose horrible men and he didnt want me anymore just the baby, ive had sex with about 13 people since i was 16 and ive cheated before i feel so ashamed of how my life has become and am looking for some reason to change but i cant find it please would you be able to help me?
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Health & Fitness category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Mental health?
you have a lot of reasons to change reason number one you can change for your child and if you believe in God he can help you with anything and he loves you know matter what you have done .
]
I would have thought the biggest reason to change would be for the sake of your daughter.
No daughter wants a mother with a reputation.
You've obviously concentrated on the social life way more than getting a good career/Why not enrol on a course? To help you get a job when your child is old enough to go to nursery?
You can't change the past but you can make your own future.
]
There are alot of reasons to change, Reason to help you forget or not thinking about yourself the way you are.
When your baby grow up, Would he be happy if he finds out about this?
No.
Of course no one would be happy having a Mom like that, But having a Mother who thinks of herself that way is even worse, It's the same as thinking 'I'm ugly, I Have no confident' If you can't even thinking of yourself as a someone who's pretty and have lots of self confidence, No one would think you are, It's very similar to that and do not worry about if he'll find out when your baby grows up, Even if he finds out about it, I'm sure he won't hate you, Not even once he'll think of that, 'Cause you're his only Mother, The one who's going to raise him, The one who's been taking care of him.
It's not entirely your fault that you're the way you are now, Because you alone can't get pregnant.
Everyone makes mistakes, Don't worry, Your mistakes were just something that were bigger than some of us. Life didn't come with instructions anyway. You've had sex with ONLY just 13 people, 16 years old nowadays change sex partners like underwear,(Sorry for my comparings offended anyone) So it's pretty normal.
Cheating on someone 'Love can't be control' I don't know if you cheated with someone else because you loved him, Or simply because you needed sex. Even sex-urge is hard to control nowadays, Even Monks have hard time controlling it. I've seen many people with this problem.
Advice:
First of all, Get your head-straight, Get your mind cleaned. Think about good thinks you've done in the past. If you think carefully, There are good things you've done now and in the past, Things that doesn't make you what you said you are, Find good aspects of yourself to win that 'Slut' aspects that you think are. Get a better view of yourself. Understand yourself, Know yourself better. Don't think that you are a 'Slut'. Replace it with something else, Something positive.
'You're willful' - 'You're willing to change'
Don't be ashamed of your life, Bad things happen, But there's always good things mixed in it, Search for it.
If you say you're ashamed of your life it's the same thing as being ashamed that you have your baby? - You regret having him/her? Raising your baby with regrets of having him/her won't be a good thing. This can be one of the reason to change.
If you change you'll have a better life without regrets and a happy life with your baby, You'll love yourself more.
Hope it helps.
]
The simplest answer is that you feel like a slut because your parents failed you. While you bear responsibility for your own choices, I still look at 20 year olds like they're children and you are definitely not an adult yet.
They should have taught you self worth, so you didn't seek validation through sex. They should have raised you with a healthy exposure to sex education so you didn't end up pregnant at 18. They should have taught you that sex is not something to be ashamed of.
You need to speak to a therapist. At your age with a one year old you are not equipped to find your way out of what you are dealing with alone. No one is.
There are no simple words that will turn this around. It is a process. It takes work. Recovery always takes work.
But with time, and effort, you can find yourself again.
If you need a reason, look at your kid. Someday, that child will need you to teach him or her about how to be safe, take care of themselves, and be responsible. How to respect themselves. You need to learn these lessons yourself before you can teach them to others.
]
You are not a horrible person, You have made some bad mistakes.
To knowledge you have made bad judgement and ask us for help is a step forward. In order to change, You must be willing too. Your child should be a motivation for you, You as a mother should set an example. To allow that child to know right from wrong and not get attached to people who may come and go.
So you start by slowing down. Find someone when you are ready and take the relationship slow. The best thing to do would be to wait until you are stable in a relationship for a few months before introducing your partner to your child.
]
The casual sex was your choice, it doesn't mean you're a bad person or anything.
Since you want to change, you can. Are you a sex addict? Like you feel the need to have sex and always want it? Then you should get professional help. If you had sex just for the heck of it and you just enjoyed it but didn't feel like you needed it, then you can probably do it on your own, but it's always good to have assistance. So ask for help.
I think that's the best advice I can give you. I'd say get counseling or something that can slowly get your working towards progress and see why you feel the way, ect.
]
You may not like to hear this, but I believe (If you want to do this) if you open your heart and let God in, it will help you. I'm not trying to persuade you to be a Christian or anything, but if you are open to the idea of learning the word of The Lord it will honestly make your life better. (In my opinion). If you are not into this idea, stop reading. If you think it's something that you would be willing to try, take my advice. Go to church. Find a friend who is religious, or a family member. If you go to church and honestly listen to what the preacher has to say, it can change your life. You don't even have to go. You could just open your heart, and pray. Pray to The Lord and ask him to come into your life. Once you build a strong relationship with God you can handle anything someone throws at you. You'll be able to forgive yourself of all the things you have done that you are ashamed of. I'm sorry if I offended you, but I Believe letting The Lord come into your life will make you a much happier person. This is just what I would do. :) if you are very against this idea, maybe see a physiologist or a counselor that you can just talk to and tell them why you feel the way you do. Talking about your problems, especially with a professional, can better your life. A lot. Hope I helped!
]
More Questions: |