|
family v boyfriend
i started dating this guy and really thought he was the one..but when i introduced him to my family they hated him..so we kept going out and he came to support me in a pagent i was doing and afterwards my parents told me i had to choose between him and them and if i choose him i ad to move out.So i choose them but didnt have the heart to tell my bf and so the other night i did and now he has turned really horrible to me telling me he never cared about me knowing that it hurts..any advice?
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
You made the right choice.
When you're in a relationship, It's best to listen to the 3rd party (Note: Has to be someone who you trust) Since observers know best.
Like people watching dramas, They have better views than the ones in it.
Choosing between family and boyfriend...
You only have one 'Dad/Mom' no one can replace that but you have millions of men out there waiting for you. Why risk losing your family over one fish in the sea?
Telling you he never cared about you WAS a lie, Indeed, The reason he said what he said is because he was frustrated that he wasn't the one you choose, Something like ... 'Feel of betrayal'.
Advice:
Talk to him and ask him why he said what he said.
Make everything cleared so there won't be any misunderstandings. If you both want to get back together, Tell him to have a talk with your parents, Ask them for a second chance, Before telling him to talk with your parents, You should make him clear up his mind, If he simply ask them for forgiveness/second chance, It would seem that he isn't sincere enough. He needs to clear up his mind/head (I don't mean getting head shaved) and honestly talk to you and your parents, Lastly ask them for a second chance.
And of course, After you've sort things out with your boyfriend and he's willing to do that.
If he behaves the same, And your parents still don't like him.
Take a deep breathe.
Count to 10.
And dump him immidiately.
If you're doing okay the way it is, And is now moving on, Don't turn back. Keep going, You won't reach happiness easily if you make right and left stops or turn backward.
Hope it helps, Even a little.
]
Well that wasn't smart of him to say that stuff to you. It's pretty much showing you that your family was right.
Anyways, I think you made the right choice. You should ask your family why they didn't like him.
He obviously wasn't a good guy for you, your family didn't think so and his reaction to what you told him was terrible.
So I think you should focus on moving on. It's definitely ok to be upset, because break ups hurt. Just focus on you and move on.
]
There's a saying that love is blind. To some extent that is true. I was blind to things about the guy I dated and married. Perhaps your family saw something in him they did not like and it was a the valid concern. Have they tried to explain to you why they did not like him. They may not tell you because they feel you will become defensive.
As you have already chosen and stayed with family, use this as a learning experience. Calmly ask each family member what they did not like about him. Tell them you honestly want to know so you don't make the same mistake twice. You want to be able to see the same things they saw. If they can not provide you with anything solid like, he was disrepectful to other women, he wasn't able to look a person straight in the eyes, he dodged answering innocent questions all the time...if they have nothing to say, then you know not to listen to them next time. Can you repair the relationship if this is the case? I do not know. When someone is hurt, they can say the most untrue horrible things to try to hurt the other person as badly as they were hurt. Is it an adult mature way of responding...No...but not every adult has figured out yet how to respond in such a situation, they react...and reactions come with emotions attached like anger, sadness, fear.
]
More Questions: |