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Falling for bf's cousin
Hello. My bf and I have been going out for almost two months. We used to talk to each other a lot and send messages back and forth on Instagram. But since summer started he has stopped texting me and responding to my Instagram comments. On the other hand, his cousin and I are really good friends. And we talk to each other everyday. I've also formed a little crush on him and he has too. Then yesterday on Instagram, his ex (who I truly hate) sent me a comment on Instagram asking if him and I were still going out. What should I do because I really love my current bf but I'm afraid he doesn't like me or has cheated on me!
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When we are young and dating, the purpose is not to find the first person we can convince to be with us forever but to learn what we like and don't like in the opposite sex and you won;t learn until you have dated several people. Two months is kind of short a time in which to learn a lot that about your current boyfriend. But one thing you don't like is that he is not communicating with you. It may that he is one of the majority of guys who really dont like to type which rules out FB, textings and Instagram. Have the two of you ever talked on the cell phone? Long before there was texting, we used cell phones for actual conversation...speaking...no typing. Try that and see if he is willing to communicate. Ask on phone if he just hates typing and thats why he hasn't contacted you or if he has lost interest. Let him know its okay if he has but you want to know for sure. If you do not want to continue dating him at this point and don't want to waste the rest of your summer sitting around by yourself, then let him know you are giving him his freedom to go pursue another relationship and you are doing the same.
In all things, be honest.
Be kind and gentle when breaking up with people as you will do throughout your dating experience until you discover the one who you want for marriage or long term relationship. With summer and no school, you would think he would have been excited to have more time with you. Don't hate the other girl. She has no control over your boyfriend and who he likes or chooses any more than you do. We can not make a person do anything they dont want to and that includes no forcing of someone to love you. If the chemistry isn't there for one of you or both of you it isn't going to work.
Again I will say, be honest in whatever conversation you have, no pointing of blame, just get the facts and make your decision. If he still likes you as you do him, then have some ground rules. For example relationships need to be worked on..they dont happen by themselves so that mean you would require that you see each other a minimum of ____ times a week and talk on instagram at least ____times a week. If he doesnt have a job that takes up his time and he is free to be with you but won't commit, then something is up, let him go. If he isn't willing to be honest with you...he isn't good dating or relationship material to begin with. You need to find out soon so you can have something to tell his cousin. If you are giving the relationship a go, let the cousin know that although you enjoyed his friendship and flirting, that you want to focus only on the relationship with your boyfriend. If he is dumping you, then let the cousin know and let him know you are free now to date and would like to know if he is really interested in you more than a friend.
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You need to talk to him because it's not fair to you to be wondering if he still wants to be with you. If you don't want to be with him, you should tell him. Find a way to talk to him and see what's going on. If he doesn't want to be with you, he should be man enough to tell you that. He shouldn't be too immature to face it.
If he had a good reason as to why he hasn't been talking to you, like maybe a family member died or something, then ok but he still needs to tell you. So you should talk to him and see what's going on.
If you don't want to be with him and you like his cousin, then break up with him.
As for his ex, it's none of her business. You don't need to respond to anything she asks you.
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Sweetie, If your boyfriend has not been responding to you in awhile, Then he may just not be as into the relationship as you say he is. You sound as if you made up your mind, You like his cousin and that is okay. However to give you the heads up that if you date his cousin it may cause some hard feelings. As for his ex, You should say nothing to her as it is none of her business. If anything HE should be the one to tell her not you.
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