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Which one of us are being played? Me or her?
So basically there's this guy that I work with that I've gotten pretty close too. We talk all the time and goof around. We eat our lunches together and take all of our breaks together. We're always together at work and he waits for me in the mornings and at night and walks me to the car and we even cook each other things and ask each other if we want something at restaurants that we're at and stuff. He also gave me his number (without me asking) and we text when we are out of work. He doesn't straight out flirt with me but like I said we goof around and he'll playfully touch me sometimes. Today I let it slip that I wanted a bag of bugles out of the vending machine out of work so he immediately got up and went to buy them and I playfully jumped in front of the vending machine so he couldn't get too it and he kept putting his hands on my arms and picked me up and moved me out of the way while laughing and bought me the bag of chips.
He pretends to get upset if I walk too fast because he wants to walk with me and like I said he always waits for me. He even stayed 20 minutes after work once when I was talking with my manager so he could walk me to my car.
Well I added him of fb earlier this week and noticed right away that he had a girlfriend (who he's been with for a year and a half)...I was really upset about it but I figured maybe he just forgot to take her off and hadn't been on facebook in a while since the last post she put on his page was on the 4th of September.
He NEVER mentioned he had a girlfriend and I was starting to view him as more than a friend...I mean guys don't usually do all of those things for you unless they think of you as more than a friend right? Well I also noticed she was still in high school which I thought was odd since he specifically said before that he "had" (like he wasn't in a relationship) two girlfriends during his time in high school and that he was done with those sort of girls. Plus he's 23 so he's long graduated and I'm thinking why is he with a high schooler? He never mentioned her not even one time he never talked about ANY other girl in fact. Which is why I was so thrown off when I found out.
Well today he was talking about some pretty reckless things he'd done while in high school and I said "Is your girlfriend alright with you having done those things?" just in a normal casual tone and he just got silent and said "Yeah she doesn't have a problem with it" after a moment and then a couple minutes he said "I didn't really want "people" to know that I had a girlfriend..." So of course I asked why and he said "I don't know just because I didn't."
The more I think about it the more I feel a little played.
I also feel sort of aggravated and angry about it but the stupid thing is I'm angry with his girlfriend. I feel like she shouldn't be his girlfriend and I know that's arrogant of me but he spends NINE hours a day with me,talking to me,goofing around with me,waiting for me,SPENDING TIME WITH ME. Not her. I really sort of feel like crying because I feel so stupid about it but maybe I'm overreacting.
As this point I'm not sure what I should be feeling.
Am I being played or is she being played?
Should I hold out and see if he breaks up with her?
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I know for a fact he's playing both of you. This same exact thing happened to me a year ago. I met a guy I worked with and we had lots of fun always flirting, playing around acting silly we actually went on date a few times.
My guy ended up being married to this girl and he was only 20 and I was barely 18 I was stupid.
Trust me don't wait don't talk to him anymore tell him to stop he'll probably be like my guy and act hurt and try to make you keep falling for him don't do it unless you wanna be hurt.
Save your self the pain even though it will be hard this will make you strong.
Trust me it's the best thing you can do for your self.
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she is being played u r probably the one for him
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Both of you are being played.
Without question. Without doubt. Any other answer to that question is plainly stupid.
You are both being made fools of by a guy who might not MEAN to be a asshole, but who is behaving that way, even if he doesn't really mean to do it.
He's been dishonest with both of you. And frankly, at 23 he probably knows exactly what he is doing when he fools around on girls who at this much younger than him. He knows what messages he was sending you, and felt guilty when he got 'caught' and had to admit that he had a girlfriend (Who he wants to keep a secret? Real mature. Real respectful.)
I understand why you might feel upset with her, it's normal to feel jealous, but you need to understand that HE is the one who is screwing you over. Whether or not she is good girlfriend, or horrible, doesn't matter! She's a human being just like you and he's fooling around with the both of you for his own pleasure. Neither of you did anything, or could have done anything, to deserve being treated like crap by this guy.
And he is treating you both like crap.
You can feel whatever you feel. Feelings can't be helped. It's okay to be hurt. You might still like this guy. You might still feel jealous and annoyed. That's fine.
But check your actions - those you can control, and you should. Because when just do whatever you feel like, you end up a two-timing piece of dirt like this guy.
What you should do, is end the friendship/flirtation with him, and no - you shouldn't go out with him if he breaks up with her either. How the hell could you trust he'd really ended it with her? How the hell could you trust there wasn't someone else? How the hell could you think he wouldn't treat you like 'the other woman' again?
You never could trust him - and you shouldn't. That would actually be stupid.
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Here's the thing. He can very well be a great guy. Maybe he's in a bad relationship. Maybe he doesn't know how to get out. You don't exactly know. However, if you guys are spending time together and he is treating you like his girlfriend, which is pretty obvious since he's waiting for you/walking you to your car, then he could very well do that to you if you started dating. Which you should consider. You don't want to assume that, but he is spending all of this time with you and is betraying her. You need to let him know how you took his actions. Sure, he might lie and say "oh no way I'm just a nice guy I don't have feelings for you" but I think it's pretty obvious he does. Then when he explains his feelings, you should ask him to either break it off with her or ask him to leave you alone. While she might be a horrid girlfriend or they're terrible together, it doesn't matter. She is still his girlfriend and you wouldn't want another girl going after your boyfriend so don't do that to her. It's wasting her time and yours.
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Hello there and i'm sorry if what i'm going to say will somehow offence you . Look , the thing is , if you really love this guy , let him make his choice . Don't ruin the relationship between both of them so let him make his choice . Love's a hard test for everyone but if it makes you angry and cry , is that love ? All i can say is , don't break up their relationship although he spends most of his time with you because the fact that what goes around comes around is true . If you really , really love him , just be there for him all the time and be a good listener . If he's happy , be happy for him but if he's in hardship , comfort him and listen to all his tears . In the meantime , stop asking those questions in your mind because it's hard to define the answer and only he knows the answer . Be direct , sometimes and at the same , maintain your pride and class . I don't know about everything over there , but if you've the feeling that you're being played and it's obvious , then you know what to do . Move on . Make sure that if he breaks the relationship , it's because he wants to not because of you because the same thing could happen to you in the future . Observe this guy first , don't fall for him too easily . If he's your man , then he will always be no matter how far apart you guys are :) Keep strong and be smart in reading this guy . Recognise the eyes of truth and lies .
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