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Raped last year - How do i recover ?
I was raped last year by a man who i didn't know.. i saw him around like twice but i had always told my best friend and this childs protection woman i didn't know the man..
I am Fourteen...
It is so hard i have lack of confidence.. i get stressed way too easily and i just am not worthy of anything.. i hate my body and i feel ugly on the inside and outside. I feel dead on the inside infact ... I am pretty sure i suffer with depression (like my mum) but i haven't spoken to the doctors .. for about a month i would eat and make myself sick.. I got a throat infection from doing it too much..
And i refuse a councellor because im ashamed... How do i recover?
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Maybe give some free advice about: Mental health?
I am sorry this has happened to you. Please listen to what I am about to say as I am old enough to be your grandfather and I have worked in the field of emergency services for a long time.
First and most important you did nothing to cause your rape. You are the victim. Feeling as you do, embarrassed and depressed is what the man who raped you counts on to stay out of jail. The man who raped you is not only a rapist he is a pedophile who belongs in jail so lets put him where he belongs.
You know who he is, that's great. The fact that you said you didn't know him is not a problem. Actually it is not unusual when a women is raped by someone they know.
Being raped is the worst thing that can happen to someone. They feel it is there fault, they are embarrassed and they become depressed. These are the things rapists count on. But you can change this.
The first thing you need to do is to call the police or the lady from child protective service and tell them you have seen the man who raped you. Tell them where and when you might have seen him. Don't worry about the fact that you might have seen him before you were raped. Just tell them the truth, you were to embarrassed and depressed.
I would also like you to call the following hotline number. It is operated 24/7 by an organization called RAINN which stands for; Rape, Abuse, Incest, National Network. The people who answer the phones are trained to listen to you and then help you get the help you need to deal with what has happened to you. To deal with the depression it has caused and the embarrassment. Dealing with this is the only way to move beyond it and have a normal life. They will find the professional people in your town who will help you deal with everything. Their number is 1-800-656-HOPE. Please call them, it is the right thing to do and you need their help.
But most of all please remember this. You are a victim. No one asks to be raped. You did not ask to be raped and did nothing to cause your rape. This is the definition of a victim. Please remember this. As the victim you have a right to justice. Justice is seeing this man sent to prison so that you can feel safe again. Call the people at RAINN they will get you help and those people will help you with making the right decisions and who to file reports with.
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Hi there. What a world. You've really got to accept conselling my darling. You're seriously still in a'victim mentality' here, you're hating yourself because you're blaming yourself. This was nothing to do with your actions. You did not invite it. A fully grown woman could not usually stop a man from forcing her, let alone a youngster. It's a physical strength thing. You could not have been expected to see the situation arising at your age and avoided it either. Unresolved, this is going to really mess you up, for want of a better phrase. Get some fight-back in you. Excuse the language...don't let the bastard beat you! Nothing can change what's happened, but YOU are the important one now. Best wishes CJ-B
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Aww... I'm so sorry you had to experience this. And since you did, you're traumatized now, huh? It's going to be hard to recover from this because of it, but you can do it.
You shouldn't feel ashamed at all. It wasn't your fault. I do suggest seeing a counseler because it'll help you recover. You should talk to your mom about this. If she doesn't know, tell her RIGHT NOW! She should know! If she does know, talk to her about how you're ashamed (Which you shouldn't be) to see a counseler.
Good luck,
Bella xoxo
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okk omgg u have to tell someone, he has to pay for what he's done if he isn't locked up then he might hurt some other girls to you should report him to the police or an adult that will help you. And there is no way for you to heal in a certain time, you body and mind will take its own time healing and even thought you don't want to see a counseller you really should because it they will help you to recover
Lilyrain
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I know all too well how difficult this can be to deal with. Ultimately, there is no one way of recovery. Everyone has their own way of healing, and what make work for one person, might not work for another. My first thought would be to recommend a counselor, but I understand not wanting to go that route. I also understand being ashamed, but you have absolutely NOTHING to be ashamed about. The only person who should be ashamed is the man that did this to you.
Having someone to talk to, who you can be completely open with, is going to be a tremendous stepping stone in the healing process, but if you're absolutely opposed to counseling or therapy, I would like to recommend a site that has helped me tremendously:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
They have various articles and resources, but the main thing I recommend is the forum and chat room (under 'community' on the top bar of the site). There are thousands of survivors who post regularly, sections for various things, and healing exercises. The community is very very welcoming, and very active.
I hope this at least helps you somewhat on your journey. I wish you the best of luck, and if you need anything else, you are more than welcome to contact me.
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