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I read my brother's dirty texts
Okay, I know I should have respected his privacy, I feel bad about it, but I was just so curious! My older brother (I'm 14, he's 19- almost 20) is my best friend. We are super close, I love him more than anyone else in the world, and we tell each other everything-- EXCEPT things that involve our love lives (kissing and sexual stuff.) We never talk about that kind of thing because it would be too awkward. My brother is the nicest person in the world, and I would never have expected him to do some of these things... even though I guess he's old enough.
Anyway, my mom instructed me to read his texts if I got the chance while he was home from college, because she said that she should know what he's doing. He left his phone downstairs today, and to my horror, he and his girlfriend had been texting about how he "made her underwear wet and sticky" and how much she loved his "crisp, hard dick." Ahhhhh!!! I was actually horrified. I did not mention these texts to my parents or brother, nor do I intend to, but I am honestly emotionally scarred. I can't look at my brother the same way. I mean, I know people his age do stuff like that, he doesn't know what I've done with my boyfriend ( nothing like that!) but still. I'm just having a hard time coping with this. He's the sweetest, most innocent kid. I don't exactly know what advice I want... just something that will hopefully make me feel less disgusted and traumatized. Haha. I don't know how far this means they've gone... Ugh.
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I completely understand how you must be feeling. You've always seen your brother as being completely innocent and never imagined he would talk like that. But he is old enough to make his own decisions and define the course of his own life. Although you may not approve of it, there's nothing you can do to change it unfortunately. You'll understand better as you mature and start experiencing similar circumstances. Just try to forget about it and see him the way you used to. But if you just can't forget it no matter how hard you try, the only other option would be to talk to him about it. Tell him what happened and apologize for invading his privacy. Express to him how you feel about what you read and how you're uncomfortable with him after what happened. Surely he'll understand as long as you don't take an accusatory and disgusted tone. Another point though, your mom should have never asked you to violate your brother's privacy like that. I'm sure she had good intentions, but she needs to learn that her son is grown up now and has to make his own decisions. The sooner she accepts that, the better. And the next time she asks you to do something like that, you should tell her that. Tell her with a respectful and understanding tone though, not a reprimanding one. I hope this helps and I hope your situation improves as quickly as possible!
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So what you will do the same one day. One day some boy make your underwear wet. But your Mom was like so wrong. I don't care if he lives in her house she has no right to look in his phone because she just wants to know. And to ask you to do it...oh man don't get mad but I want to slap her! He's over 18 and he almost 20. So what he's having sex? He not under age . Let go of it. Forget it. Never ever do something like that again. I know it herd to so no to your Mom Love but some time's you have to do it. So something like this: You know Mom I think i can do that. If you want to know PLEASE do it your self. I don't think I can do it. But let me tell you something you thou you mother put you up to it you still had NO RIGHT.
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Your mother was 100% in the wrong, Your brother is an adult he is over the age of 18.
As an ADULT your brother is entitled to have a life of his own, He is entitled to have his own privacy without his mother or siblings invading it and he does have the right to make his own choices. If you are disgusted by his text messages then no offense too you that is nobody's problem but your own and your mothers. YOU invaded his privacy, You should of known enough that your brother has the right to his privacy.
Again, Why does it shock and surprise you so much? He is 20 years old. Get over it
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Your mother behaved horribly! The only part about this I find shocking is that she asked you, her daughter, to invade your brother's privacy like that!
If she ever asks you to spy on your siblings again, tell her no. The only time that is acceptable is if you have strong reasons to be are concerned for their physical safety. Even then, a parent should take on that burden themselves, not foist it is on to their other children...
Honestly, the best thing you can do now is let it go. It doesn't matter 'how far they've gone'. They are adults, and entitled to go as far as they like, without you ever finding out. It's normal to be disturbed and curious, but it's also normal to take a deep breath and let it go. You just found out, so you're shocked, but that will pass pretty quickly if you let it.
He IS a sweet and wonderful guy. He is also a young adult who sexually active. It'll take a little bit of time, but you'll realize soon enough that both those things can be true.
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If you go and do something stupid like that: invade your brothers privacy because 'your mom told you', then you deserve whatever you get. Its wrong and illegal. Get over it.
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