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suicide
when you are so far down how to find the strength to climb back up?
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Let me tell you a little about my journey and how i keep going.
I first tried to commit suicide when I was 6 years old. My mother told me every morning when she dropped me off at school that I would come home and find her dead, gassed with her head in the oven. My mother had a condition known as Munchausens by proxy. It is when you make your child sick, for your own attention. Eg, poisoning them, trying to make them hurt themselves, letting others hurt them, or encouraging them to...
I never had an adult to look up to. Just my mum and my older brother who was a pedophile (and still is), the one mum let rape me since I was 4 years old.
I may have never had someone to look up to as a child and a teenager, but even being homeless at 17 and finsihing highschool on the streets. Washing my face and hair in the public toilets of the railway after a night of little sleep and making a 1 hour treck to school...I didn't have anyone or anything, but I didn't give in.
I am 24. I have epilepsy and PTSD. I am homebound whilst they find me medication to stop my seizures. I have been waiting two years to leave this house alone again...
I finished uni, I fell in love, I am engaged. But, I had an accident two years ago and have battled ever since.
It is me, the computer and this cold lonely house every week day, but I keep going. There isn't a day that goes past I dont think I want to die...
But I wont do it...Why? Because I have been through worse and I made it despite that. The answer is in that...Think of what you have over come, and realise your own strength.
I have spent a month in bed at one point and every minute was a living nightmare. I wanted to die...But, you might feel the pain alone will kill you, it wont.
Know you can always keep going...You wont die from the heart ache. But, why leave your life here...In such a poor space??? What if, you could have had so much more if you just waited and held on.
Take care of yourself...Steph.
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I have asked the same question myself many times and believe me, it's not easy. I've been to therapy and it didn't help and I am still struggling today but it's gotten better. First of all, like everyone else said, suicide is not the answer. If you ever have that thought just think about all the other people that will be hurt by losing you. That's what I used to do since I didn't care much about myself. I would recommend therapy. It didn't work 100% for me but it definitely gave me someone confidential to talk to who really did understand what was wrong with my brain and why I felt the way I was feeling. As someone who was suicidal and who still suffers from depression I would say to bypass the advice about "finding god" ( unless your extremely religious) because that wouldn't help me at all and stick with the advice from the first person who responded to your post. It's the small things in life that you really enjoy that you need to do on a regular basis. Find things to actively do. I find that doing things that I liked to do when I was younger such as fishing or flying a kite or drawing a picture help me a lot. Those activities remind me of an easier, simpler time where I didn't have to worry so much and really make me happy. Good luck! Hold on and don't let go! If you ever need to talk further, get in touch with me through here, I'm always willing to talk!
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You look like you haven't lost all hope which is a great thing. First let me just say that God (if your a Christian and even if your not) is the only one who can trully give you the strength and courage to start your climb up. Please don't forget Him in your plans. So in my opinion first take your situation to the Lord in prayer. People usually tend to share with everybody about what they are going through(which is a good thing) but often forget or fail to take it to the one who trully can help them~God.
After that, just look at your situation and realize that when you hit rock bottom the only other way is up. Let me use some generall examples since you haven't indicated what is troubling you. If its rejection and loneliness remember first that Christ is always their for you and will never reject you. Then remember that person who trully loved you or still does even now. They saw something in you and they loved you for you. If your feeling hopeless and depressed remember that one person whom you encouraged or brought a smile to their faces. Their others you don't even know about.
If your feeling like a failure, know that nobody made in God's image is because God suerly isn't a failure Himself. Sure perhaps you failed at something major, but aren't you human?? Other than that their is something your good at no matter what it is.
So after all this you stand up, and say that yes I've been through this, or that but their is still hope for a new beginning. I'll Start afresh, and take charge of my life. I won't lie down and let depression beat me.
Ofcourse it won't be easy and sometimes you'll feel like your losing but again remember who God is. First You need God, you need true friends, encouraging family. Don't hang out with people who always bring you down, or they too are depressed. And as the others said, do fun staff, read the Bible and look at the beauty of God's creation. Talk positive, hang out with positive encouraging people. Suicide isn't the way my dear remember their others who are fighting for their lives in hospitals. You have your life.
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I like how you posed your question. Usually we are are asked how.
To answer you question, you have already started to climb back up, you have asked for help. Asking for help is the first and biggest step to climbing back.
If you are feeling down to the point where you feel like you may hurt yourself then pick up the phone and dial 911 or the emergency number for where you live. The call taker will send the appropriate emergency services to your home to keep you safe and take you to people who can help you. If yo do not want to call for emergency services then go to the nearest hospital emergency room tell them you feel like you are going to hurt yourself. Do not worry about insurance or how you will pay for care. The hospital will treat you first and then they will find programs to pay for your care.
If you do not feel as if you are in imminent danger to yourself or others then you can do the following:
Call the: National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-TALK (8255): Suicide hotline, 24/7 free and confidential. They will help you find people in your own town who can help you.
Call your family doctor and ask for help; follow the doctors instructions.
Suicide is usually caused by some type of depression. Depression can be controlled and even cured with the right kind of help. It is just a matter of finding the root cause of the depression. I know this as I am a depression survivor. It took a long time to get to the root cause of my depression and a longer time for me to learn to deal with it. But I have and now I have been tolled my depression no longer exists.
You've taken the first step. The following steps get easier as you go along. The hardest step is behind you and a better life is in front of you. Just follow the steps and continue to ask the professionals for the help you need.
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Honey i am absolutley posative that suicide is not the anwser. I dont know if you have herd of this kid that didnbut his name was Ryan Halligan. His dad spoke at my school and was balling his eyes out while he was telling his sons story. And i bet that if you past away your parents friends and family would be doing the exact same thing. So please dont do it. If you are cathloic you could talk to a priest and pray that always helps. Or maybe a scool conusoulor. Im
Not exactly sure but please for me and everyone else in the world DO NOT DO IT! I hope my advice has impacted you. I will pray for you xoxo
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Oh my gosh. Well, I'm not sure what is getting you down, but here's what I can offer:
Suicide isn't the answer. You are a wonderful person, and taking your life will just hurt the people who love you.
Go for a walk and appreciate the beauty of the things around you. Find a park, a lake, or a museum and spend time watching your surroundings.
Spend time with friends and family and do things you enjoy doing.
Watch funny movies, listen to your favorite music, or read a good book.
If you lend me more insight into what is wrong, perhaps I can offer more specific advice. Until then, take a deep breath and remember that there is nobody else in the world like you and you are unique and special. If you need more help, you can always inbox me, but you might also want to seek the help of a therapist.
xxtiffany
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