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Nobody Likes Her Boyfriend!
f/16
Okay, I'm having an movie night on the 18th and my boyfriend and I have been planning this for about a week. We're really excited to get our gang of friends together again to just hang out, but recently, one of our friends, D, got a new boyfriend after she broke up with her awesome one about two months ago. Unfortunately, the guy she chose is the one that we all hate. He was a complete jerk to her when she chose another guy over him, telling her that she was a heartbreaking bitch! It was unbelievable, and he's like twenty-years-old or something! She's bringing him over, without actually asking my permission either, which she ALWAYS does. And we're all kind of wondering what the heck we're gonna do when he comes over and everyone is just awkwardly glaring at him... How can I tell her 'no'? She'll throw a hissy fit and it'll probably ruin the mood...?
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Dude needs to grow up for sure.
As far as the "awesome guy" she was with before, you don't really know that. Just because he might have presented a pleasant front to you doesn't mean it translated into any kind of real chemistry for your girlfriend. This is why people need to mind their own business.
Okay, here is the deal: you are going to have to tell your girlfriend that he can't come over. It is that simple. Otherwise, you, who is essentially the gatekeeper in all this, is allowing everyone else's good time to be ruined by her and her man.
Besides, to be truthful, the guy doesn't want to be there, anyway because he finds her friends to be pains in the ass for the most part. You don't realize that, but it's true. He is only going because she's there and that's it. He doesn't care about the rest of you. If you realize that, putting up the stop sign on his attendance becomes a lot easier, no?
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I agree with AdviceMistress. But I also think that all of you need to give him a chance when he comes over. Guys are stupid, so they say things they really don't mean. So, he could have possibly changed. That's why I say give him a chance. Talk to him, and get to know him. If you don't like what you hear (first of all, don't hate him right away when he starts talking), then talk to your friend about him.
I hope that things work out with all of you. Good luck!
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Well first off, its a bit rude of her to bring someone without asking especially if its at someone's hosue or something. Then again its a bit mean to not include her boyfriend just because your group doesn't like him. If she is your friend you're goign to have to be supportive no matter how much the guy is a jerk. If you continue trying to avoid this guy you may push your friend away and your friendship may end up paying the price. Think about it...do you want to lose her as a friend? If shes happy then be happy for her no matter how much you can't stand the guy. "Guys come and go...friendship is forever." Good luck!
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The problem with telling I lie that I learned a long time ago is; that you had better write it down as you will forget a lie though you will remember the truth.
Fact is it is your party at either your house or your boyfriends house. You two set the rules. If you feel that an uninvited guest is going to cause a disturbance or spoil the evening you have every right to ask them to leave or in this instance tell your friend she is welcome but not her guest.
Lying to her is not the answer. Sure she may or will get upset but this also gives you the opportunity to tell her why you fell the way you do. To point out how he treated when she rejected him the first time and so forth. She may be to blind by her need for a boyfriend to see what you see.
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If you can't tell her straight out, one of the other options you have is to blame it on someone for why he can't come over.
Blame it on your parents or whoever's house you guys are using to do this movie night. Say your parents don't want anyone over the age of eighteen at the house - especially if they don't know him/her.
Then have your parents lie about it if she asks them.
That should work!
:)
Good luck!
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