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i am 14 and i dont know if anabortion is the right choice
Hi.
i am 14 yrs and am 1mth preggers and dont know what i should do. i hate the thought of an abortion and adoptipton but i am only 14 and am still a kid... what should i do, is an abortion the right chioce?
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Maybe give some free advice about: Abortion?
first of all stop having sex but you are 14 and evn though its your fault your pregnant i dont think you should have the baby unless you are able to provide for it...now if its either adoption or abortion think of it this way you wont have the child with either one carrying a child for 9 months makes you get atatched to it and will make it harder for you to give it up. if you do choose abortion dont wait any longer
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I was 16 when I became pregnant with my son. I am very AGAINST abortion at all costs. No matter what there is a living creature inside you whether you like it or not. & it is not (his/her) fault that you and your partner made a mistake. I suggest adoption. It will make someone who can't have kids very happy and will give the baby a home and a family (he/she) deserves. You are not capable of having a baby to yourself because you are too young. Unless you think you can handle it. I took reasponsibility of what I did and had offers for adoption but I wanted to prove that I could because "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger". I thought about abortion but I had a nightmare of actually going through the procedure and heard his voice saying "why mommy why did you kill me, i love you mommy, why didnt you give me a chance", horrible experiance. I still get chills just at the thought. & that's because it didn't even happen, just imagine if I did go through with it. I don't think I could live with myself. But everyone has a different way of thinking and it's all in your hands. Take control of the situation and don't let anyone make you change your mind. Not even me.
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You are the only one who can decide if you are ready for a baby or not, I personally think that you should not have an abortion, but no one can tell you yes or no. Even though you are a kid, we all have to make adult decision at one point in our life no matter how old we get.
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This is one of those cases where if you have to ask, then chances are you've been affected by a lot of what people say about abortion.
First, separate yourself from the situation. If you knew about a 14 year old who was pregnant, what do you think the best option would be for them? What does pregnancy mean to you?
The pro-life position is that pregnancy begins at conception, and what you have inside of you is a human being. The pro-choice position is that you have a fetus developing inside of you and you have domain over your body.
Do you believe that you have domain over your body? How do you feel about what's happening inside you? When you boil it down, you're the only person who should make the choice about what to do about your situation. This might be your first hard decision in your life, but it might also be the easiest one. But don't put it off for too long; there is a point of no return.
Call your local planned parenthood. They'll provide you with information without bias. They can also help council you on the process, should you decide to obtain an abortion.
Good luck.
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NinjaNeer Has given you some very good advice. The choice as to have or not to have an abortion is probably one of the hardest choices you will have to make; but it is one that you and you alone have to make.
At age 14 you are by law old enough to make this choice , your parents cannot force you to have an abortion or even stop you from having an abortion. Some Pro-Life states have passed laws requiring Parental approval for someone your age before they can have an abortion. Those laws are for the most part still working their way through the court system and for the most part been over turned as they go against Federal Law. If your state does require parental approval you just go to another state that does not, should you decide to have an abortion against parental wishes.
I tell you this so you are informed. You have a right to know what your rights are so that you can make an informed decision. Part of that decision is what is right for the baby if you carry it to term. You are in no position, at this time, to be properly responsible for a child.
The father of the child has responsibilities as well even if he too is a minor. The father, if a minor, is in no position to raise a child. This means both your parents and his will need to step in and help you with everything that goes into raising a child until you are properly able to care for the child yourself. The father has financial responsibilities until the child is 18 years of age.
This will require a lawyer to file the proper legal paperwork with the courts to assure that the fathers responsibilities are met. Will the fathers parents step up and underwrite the fathers financial responsibilities until he is able to do so himself? Remember; grandparents do not have any legal rights to visitation or anything else regarding a grandchild unless they have legal guardianship.
If you are unable to properly care for this child and are absolutely against abortion, then the best thing for the child is adoption. I have known several people who were adopted as infants. My own first cousin is adopted. We were and are very close. My Aunt and Uncle gave him a great home and raised him to be a very loving and generous man. My Uncle doted on my cousin and his sons'children more so then most natural parents. If you should decide on adoption you will be giving a gift to two people not unlike organ donation. Adoption is very special gift to two childless people one that only someone who like you can give.
You have three choices here. Not one of them is a bad or wrong choice as they are what is best for the child since you are not in a position to be able to raise a child. You have to choose which one of the three choices works best for you; Abortion, Adoption or keeping the child and raising the child yourself. If you should chose keeping the child please do so not for selfish reasons but only because you have all the support systems and legal paperwork in place to properly care for the child.
I realize these are tough choices to make and no one can make them for you. There is no crystal ball to look in for an answer either. You are facing a very real adult problem and have about 8 week within which to make a decision. Seek advice but the decision is yours to make.
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Yes, adoption and abortion both suck. It would be incredibly hard to have a baby and give it up, or to end the life of a baby that's growing inside of you. You know what else is hard? Raising a child with no support and no education.
The idea of the 10-10-10 decision is pretty good... but that only takes you to age 9. How about 10-10-10-20-30-40-50-... You never stop being a parent. It's not about what you're most comfortable with. It's about what is best for the potential child.
I am pro-choice, but I would never have an abortion personally. I'm not one of those people who throws the idea of abortion around casually. It is ending a life that you have started, but sometimes it's better than ending a life that's already begun (yours).
It's been discovered that abortion is actually safer than carrying a baby to term and giving birth. I have had friends who have had them, and they've moved on with their lives with a tiny stinging regret in the back of their minds. Even so, it meant that they could finish university, support themselves, get themselves in a more stable situation for future children. None of them are permanently scarred.
Adoption is difficult. I've never known anyone who has given up a baby for adoption, but I do know a few adopted kids. Some of them turned out just fine, others have serious abandonment issues. I think it has more to do with the age at which they're adopted out. You can make a couple very happy by giving them what they can't make themselves. You can also arrange for an open adoption, where you get to have contact with your baby on a limited basis. That can ease the whole "I'm abandoning my baby" feeling slightly.
Keeping the baby would be the most difficult thing. Are your parents supportive? Will you be able to continue high school? Can you afford a baby? Write up a budget for what you'll be able to afford. Remember that you should be saving for college for your kids. Not a whole lot left after rent, food and diapers. People can raise children on very little. Is it the best situation for the kid? It means that they are kept out of good schools. It means they have to live in low income areas. It means that they don't get to have nice things. Money isn't the only issue. You have to realize that your youth stops now, if you keep it. You don't get to go to high school like a regular kid. It's GED courses for you. You won't be able to go to university. Community college at best. No party phase in your life, because you have a toddler at home. You lose out on the experiences of age 14-25 and skip ahead to the part where you're a responsible adult. That is no easy feat. Some parents try to get that still, but they are sub-par parents, and your baby deserves the best, as all do.
It's easy to say "Oh, once you hold it you'll want to keep it", but that's being selfish. You may want your baby, but does your baby want a 14 year old mother? Choose carefully, because this is the entire course of another person's life that you are choosing.
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You have to ask yourself what to do.. If I was in your shoes, I wouldn't have one, not that I am againist it, but things happen for a reason. I know you're young, and clueless about all this. Anybody can do it though, you just have to make yourself ready for a kid. If you do have it, it will take 2 seconds of having that baby in your arms and your entire would will change. I believe that you could do it. Even on your own, you just have to want it. Nobody can make the choice for you though, sadly..
I hope I helped, I'm always here to talk too!
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A teacher taught me the 10-10-10 decision making technique: how will it affect you 10 days, months, years from now. Personally I'm not for abortion, but a 14 year old is certainly not ready to handle a child (no offense) and keep in mind how the child might feel if you put it up for adoption. This is a choice for you to make. Consult parents or trusted adults and doctors. Hope this helps, and good luck.
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